大象传媒

Whilest in training with the Royal Armoured Corps in Barnard Castle, I broke a tooth which neccessitated a visit to the Dentist.
Now I have disliked all forms of dentistry as it appears to be filled with people who enjoy hurting other people when there have been many ways of preventing pain of all sorts for many years past.
There was no escape however, and I started the trudge towards the 59th regts. camp some two miles away along the road to west Auckland, hoping that some strange disease had overtaken the Dentist, and that the appointment would be cancelled.
No such luck as I was ushered into the torture chamber. Sure enough I was now one tooth short of the establishment for fighting an enemy. " I can rectify that" said the chief torturer " I shall give you a new tooth", and he proceeded to level off the offending left front incisor.
When he was finished he then suggested that I reappear - same time - same place next week.
The walk back to Streatlam camp was spent in musing how this Dentist could grow another tooth in my head, with no full understanding of how he was to achieve this miracle.
The next visit made it abundently clear when he started drilling - upwards to-wards my brain ! After six weeks of this torture he then, like a third rate magician, produced this tooth on what appeared to be a very long spike.He then glued this "tooth"
into my head - remeber that this was way before the advent of "crazy glue" and other forms of adhesives.
On completion of this task he then handed me a mirror. " but the tooth is blue" I remarked - " not a problem " he replied - " it will be white as snow very soon"!
This I thought, was a 'porkie" of great dimension which after four years overseas without the benefit of another dentist - the tooth remained blue.
Finally attaining civilian status, this blue thing finally fell off leaving this spike unadorned, much to the amusement of my Dentist who then established that in the course of my wanderings through Europe this spike had moved and affected many of my top teeth. The consequences of this were a complete overhaul of my mouth which left me in the position that should anything stressful occur in my mouth, all I have to do is to mail my dentures to the nearest dental mechanic for his attention and return mailing ! No more Dentists for me !

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