大象传媒

Alien Visitation

鈥淓re, Mrs Davy?鈥�
鈥淵es, my dear.鈥�
We were sitting outside Lewis鈥檚 house for a change, Lewis, Bobby and me . Lewis鈥檚 mother stood in her doorway, in her floral pinny, leaning against the frame with her arms folded. Lewis鈥檚 mother always seemed older than my Mother, although I don鈥檛 think she was.
It was a beautiful summer day, but Lewis鈥檚 side of the street always seemed to be in shadow.
鈥淵ou know that black banana what Bobby鈥檚 eating?鈥�
鈥渊别蝉.鈥�
鈥淚 don鈥檛 like they.鈥�
鈥淥w come, David. They鈥檙e good for 鈥榚e, they are.鈥�
鈥淚 like 鈥榚m alright.鈥� Said Bobby, biting into the hard black grainy stick. I could hear it crack as he bit into it.
鈥淭hey taste 鈥榦rrible, and they look like a bit of dog turd.鈥� I said.
鈥淥h David, you maze bugger.鈥� Laughed Mrs Davy.
Bobby turned his nose up at the black banana and put it into his pocket.
鈥淲ell, what I do reckon, is this 鈥榚re. I do reckon that the Germans ab sent they things over 鈥榚re, an they 鈥榓ve put poison in them so that all we English are going to eat them and then we鈥檙e all going to die in agony and they are going to come over and then take over the country an that, and kill us an all, and then they鈥檒l ave won the war.鈥�
Bobby took the black dried banana out of his pocket and threw it in the gutter.
鈥淒o you think that the Germans 鈥榓ve poisoned them Missis Davy?鈥�
鈥淢ebbe so, my dear,鈥� said Lewis鈥檚 mother. 鈥淢ebbe so.鈥�
The three of us moved across the street to sit in the sun.
鈥淟ewis, don鈥檛 sit on that pavement.鈥� Said his mother. 鈥淵ou鈥檒l get piles!鈥�

鈥淎nyhow, what we goin to do?鈥� said Bobby.
鈥淟e鈥檚 go up and see the Yanks.鈥� Said Lewy.
鈥淲ha鈥檚 that?鈥� I asked.
鈥淵ou know,鈥� said Lewy. 鈥淭he Yanks. They鈥檙e soldiers and they come from America.鈥�
鈥淕essoutofit! There aren鈥檛 no yan 鈥︹�� what you just said.
鈥淭here bleddy are鈥� said Lewy 鈥淎rent there, Bob?鈥�
鈥淵eah.鈥� Said Bobby 鈥淭hey鈥檙e up Albert Tce. An they鈥檙e soldiers an they got guns an they give you sweets and chewing gum an that. My brother told me.鈥�
鈥淐hewing gum?鈥�
鈥淵eah stacks of it. Come on Whito le鈥檚 go!鈥�
Lewis and Bobby were already running up the street. I ran to catch them up.
Just as they were turning the corner by the chipshop, Bobby bent down to the pavement.
鈥淎y look, 鈥榚res some chewing gum 鈥榚re.鈥�
He bent down to pick up a piece of sticky stuff that had been trodden into the stone. As he pulled it up it stretched up in his hand like a bowstring. He rolled it between his dirty fingers and then put it in his mouth.
鈥淚s it sposed to be black like that ?鈥� I asked.
鈥淲as it like?鈥� asked Lewy.
鈥淕reat. Want some?鈥�
He pulled a long string of it from his mouth, and then gave me and Lewy a piece each, and we continued around the corner, three gum chewers, and walked into Albert Tce.
We were met by the sight of Goblin, one of the gang, who was three years older than us, sitting in the driving seat of a strange looking vehicle, like a car with the roof cut off. It was khaki coloured with numbers painted on the side in white.
鈥淵ew. Lewy, Whito. 鈥楨re look at what I鈥檔 doing of.鈥�
鈥淲ha鈥檚 that?鈥� asked Bobby.
鈥淚t鈥檚 a JEEEP! 鈥� said Goblin. 鈥淭hese 鈥榚re Yanks are going to take it to Germany and kill 鈥榰ndreds of Germans with it. They鈥檙e going to put a tommy gun on the front and then they can mow 鈥榚m dead. This bloke 鈥榚re said I can fire the gun when they get it. P鈥檙aps we can take it over Newlyn and kill the Newlyn gang.鈥�
We saw, standing beside the funny looking car, the strangest looking man I had ever seen. He seemed as tall as a giant. His face was big and brown, and he had freckles all over his face. His eyes were the brightest blue I had ever seen, and his blonde hair was cropped short on his head . It was like no other haircut I had seen before. He was so clean that he seemed to sparkle. And his uniform was made of a shiny material that didn鈥檛 look anything like the rough uniforms that we had seen on English soldiers.
He smiled at us.
鈥淲ell howdy, you all.鈥�
We looked at him, mouths open.
鈥淎测?鈥�
鈥淗ow you good old boys doin?鈥�
He could have been speaking Serbo 鈥擟roat for all we understood of him.
鈥淵ou American are 鈥榚e mister?鈥�
鈥淲hat鈥檚 that you say boy?鈥�
鈥淎测?鈥�
鈥淚 couldn鈥檛 make out your limey lingo.鈥�
鈥淲ha鈥檚 he saying, Whito?鈥�
Eventually, after much mis-communication, and gifts of sweets and chewing gum, that was actually white in colour and not the dirty black that we had picked off the street, we tuned into each others鈥� speech sufficiently to make a fair stab at what we each were saying.
He turned to Lewy.
鈥淵ou want another stick of gum, boy?鈥�
鈥淵eah鈥� said Lewy.
As he handed over the gum the giant said,
鈥淵ou gotta sister, boy.鈥�
鈥淵eah, she鈥檚 called Hilda.鈥�
鈥淗ilda ay? Well you tell Hilda to come up and see Jerry, the Texan. And I鈥檒l make sur e she鈥檒l get some nylons. How old is she?鈥�
鈥淪ix.鈥� Said Lewy.
The blond giant coughed and said ,
鈥淵eah, well , you know鈥�.鈥�
鈥淲here you come from, mister?鈥�
鈥淲ell, boy, I come from Texas. We call it God鈥檚 own country. It鈥檚 the greenest most beautiful place on this earth. The corn grows as high as a tree and the skyscrapers reach up to the sky.鈥�
鈥淚s it bigger than Truro?鈥� said Bobby.
鈥淲hy, hell boy. Its bigger than this whole country put together. my Daddy鈥檚 ranch stretches out as far as the horizon out there.鈥� He pointed out to Mounts Bay. 鈥淎nd when you think you got to the end, it goes on as far again.鈥�
We knew he was just bragging now, cos nothing could be bigger than Mounts Bay.
By now some other soldiers had come out of the house to join him. They were all shiny clean crew cutted giants as well.
鈥淒o you know any film stars, mister?鈥� asked Bobby.
鈥淲hy sure, Clark Gable鈥檚 my uncle. 鈥�
鈥淲ho鈥檚 鈥榚e?鈥� asked Bobby
鈥淲hy hell boy. Don鈥檛 you know Clark Gable. He鈥檚 the King of Hollywood. Aint that so, Gus?鈥� the Texan said to one of the newcomers.
鈥渊耻辫.鈥�
鈥淲ell, he aint as good as our king.鈥� Said Bobby.
鈥淒o you know Hopalong Cassidy?鈥� I asked him.
鈥淚 sure do. In fact I taught him how do ride a horse and tote a gun. Aint that so Gus?鈥�
鈥渊耻辫.鈥�
We looked at each other in disbelief.
鈥淵ah. I bet. Well wha鈥檚 his horse called then?鈥�
鈥淲hy, Hoppies horse is called Trigger. Aint that so Gus?鈥�
鈥渊耻辫.鈥�
鈥淲ahhh! Ya lyin, bugger. Trigger is Roy Rogers horse.鈥�
Suddenly, one of the Americans yelled out.
鈥淗ey there, boy. What the hell you think you鈥檙e doing?鈥�
Followed by the others he started running towards the jeep, where Goblin was sitting behind the driving wheel, and the jeep was careering down the hill.
鈥淭hat kid has only let the handbrake off!!鈥�
The jeep was now travelling at quite a speed, and Goblin steered into the top of Adelaide St and disappeared around the corner.
Me and Lewy and Bobby ran after the Americans ,who were running after the jeep driven by Goblin, with his unruly hair flying back in the wind. We watched him come to the junction between Adelaide St and Penwith St, where he threw his hands up in the air and the jeep crashed into the corner house. A couple of seconds later Mr Tonkin came running out of his house and started cursing the Americans. Goblin jumped out of the jeep and made to run down to Camberwell St, but one of the giant Americans caught him by the scruff of the neck saying
鈥淣ot so fast, young 鈥榰n.鈥�
Another American got into the jeep and reversed it up the street back to Albert Tce.
鈥淵ou aint going to tell the police are you mister?鈥� I pleaded with the Texan.
鈥淥r his Ma.鈥� Said Bobby. 鈥淪he鈥檒l kill him
鈥淚 don鈥檛 rightly know what we鈥檙e gonna do.鈥� Said the giant. 鈥淲e cant just let him go. He鈥檚 gotta realise that he cant just drive off other peoples property.鈥�
鈥淲hy don鈥檛 you just beat the shit out of him?鈥� said Bobby, who always had a practical solution.
鈥淚ve got myself an idea of what to do. 鈥� said the Texan. 鈥淵ou boys had better get on home now. Before any more damage is done.鈥�
And so we went home.
The next time we saw Goblin we could hardly recognise him. His unruly shock of dirty hair was gone. Instead his head looked practically bald. The Americans had shaved his hair to about an eighth of an inch of his head. His mother never said anything, probably she never noticed, but from then on his name in the gang would forever be 鈥淏aldnut鈥�.
The next day we were up at Albert Tce again, but I鈥檒l tell you about that later.

FX
Alien Visitation Part Two
American Balloons

The Americans had been in Penzance for about two months now, and their presence was really being felt in the town. Wherever you went you would see groups of laughing giants acting as if they owned the town. And the most common sight was to see a local girl or woman, married or otherwise, clinging on tightly to her American beau, the seams on her newly acquired nylon stockings perfectly straight , and somehow shouting out what she had done to get them.
I had overheard my Mum admonishing my Auntie.
鈥淒id I see you out with a Yank, last night, Winnie?鈥�
鈥淥h Bena. Don鈥檛 be so. Everyone鈥檚 got an American!鈥�
The gang was up at Albert Tce practically every day now and we had eaten more sweets and chewing gum, and sometimes even chocolate, than we were likely to eat for the rest of our childhood.
One particular hot summer鈥檚 day at the end of May, I remember vividly.
We were hanging around outside their billet hoping to cadge some more chewing gum, when a jeep drove up, and inside was one of the blonde giants and sitting beside him was the freshly shorn Baldnut, who had been adopted by the Yanks as a sort of mascot. We could see his scalp shining in the sunlight. We all envied him because he had access to all sorts of information about the Yanks, and his brother Whippet told us that very often he slept up Albert Tce all night.
鈥淵ew!鈥� shouted Baldnut as he and the American clambered out of the jeep loaded up with boxes and brown carrier bags.
鈥淢e an Jake bin to the PX for supplies.鈥� He boasted proudly.
Bobby snorted.
鈥淧hhw! Jake!!鈥�
The boxes contained exotic things like tins of coffee and packets of butter and scores of packets of something called Lucky Strikes.
By now several American giants had come out of the house, to help unload the Jeep.
Gus, the Texan, shouted to us.
鈥淗owdy, boys, how you all going?鈥�
鈥淵ou wha,鈥� said Bobby.
Gus ignored him and started distributing the long boxes of Lucky Strikes to the rest of the Americans who promptly tore open the packs and started to light up their cigarettes.
鈥淎y mister,鈥� shouted Whippet 鈥淕is a fag!鈥�
鈥淵ou鈥檙e too young to smoke, nipper.鈥� Said one of them.
鈥淚 aint!鈥� said Whippet. 鈥淚 smoke my Ma鈥檚 all the time. And if she aint got any, we all smoke mugger from the hedges. Don鈥檛 us gang?鈥�
We all concurred, although I never liked the roll-ups we made from mugger and San Izal lavatory paper.
The Americans started laughing amongst themselves and one of them threw Whippet a whole packet of Lucky Strikes!
We all crowded around him and lit upthese strange American cigarettes. They were awful! Lewy, Bobby and I started coughing and tears came to our eyes, much to the amusement of the Americans. Although Whippet was very good at it and he swaggered around the road waving the hand with the cigarette very elaborately. He smoked two one after the other, but he did begin to look a pale shade of green, and he wandered off down the street.
I saw one of the Americans open one of the big cardboard boxes from the jeep and say,
鈥淕reat. Frenchies. Now that鈥檚 what I call supplies, Jake!鈥�
He picked out a handful of gold coloured circular objects about the size of a milktop.
鈥淲ha鈥檚 they, mister?鈥� asked Bobby.
All the Americans started to laugh.
鈥淲ell, boy. These are for our R&R.鈥�
鈥淲ha鈥檚 that?鈥�
The American pushed his thumb into the gold milk top and extracted a long , powdery ,whitish, rubbery thing with a teat at one end.
鈥淗ey, look.鈥� Said Lewy 鈥淭hey鈥檙e balloons!!鈥�
The Americans found this very funny, and they all started laughing.
鈥渊耻辫.鈥� Said Gus 鈥淭hat鈥檚 what they are, boy. They鈥檙e American balloons. And they sure give us some pleasure , what do you say, Jake.鈥�
鈥渊耻辫.鈥� Said Jake.
鈥淐an we have some, mister?鈥� I pleaded.
鈥淲hy sure boy, here help yourself.鈥� And he handed us about half a dozen each.
鈥淗ey, Whito. Le鈥檚 go down Camberwell St and blow them up. C鈥檓on Bob.鈥�
Bobby had sneaked his way to the jeep, and when we left for Camberwell St I noticed he had taken a cardboard box from out of the jeep. As soon as he saw Lewy and me leaving he ran off down Adelaide St in front of us.
We arrived at Camberwell St, which was situated between Adelaide St and Mount St. Penzance Council had started pulling the houses down a few years before but had stopped when war broke out, probably hoping that the Germans would finish the job off for them, but of all the 800 or so bombs that fell on Penzance, not one of them fell on Camberwell St.
They had neglected to turn off the gas from some of the houses, and this was our destination now to blow up the American balloons.
鈥淗ey, Lewy, Whito. Look what I pinched.!鈥�
Bobby opened the cardboard box and revealed layer upon layer of the golden milktops.
鈥淐rikey, there鈥檚 millions of 鈥榚m!鈥�
鈥淵eah c鈥檓on gang le鈥檚 blow them up.
We ran to the gas tap that was sticking out of the ground, rolled the white balloon neck over the tap and turned on the gas.
The white powdery balloon expanded to about twelve inches in length, and we knotted them at the ends. When we released them the sky was filled with hundreds of white condoms floating upwards over the chimney tops with the teats uppermost. They looked like vertical barrage balloons. I had never seen so many balloons in the sky at one time.
鈥淎y, le鈥檚 get our bows and see if we can shoot them down.鈥� I cried.
Still holding on to one of the American balloons I ran into my house, trailing my prize possession in the air behind me.
My father, who must have been on leave, and my mother were sitting down to tea with my brother who was eight years older than me. When he saw me running in trailing the blown up condom behind me, he almost choked on his baked beans, and they spluttered over the tablecloth.
鈥淲hat the hell is that you鈥檝e got there, Dai?鈥� my father asked, desperately trying not to laugh.
鈥淚t鈥檚 an American balloon, and there are hundreds flying in the sky and In going to get my bow and we鈥檙e going to shoot em down from the sky!鈥�
By now I had got my bow and several arrows and I was running out the door still with my balloon clutched in my hand.
鈥淓贰贰补谤驳丑丑!!鈥�
By the time I got back to Camberwell St, the hundreds of balloons in the sky had almost disappeared from view.
I released the one in my hand and immediately strung an arrow into my bow and shot it into the air. It fell miserably short of its target and about twenty yards to the left of it.
I looked at Lewy and Bobby, and said,
鈥淲ell, you all, I reckon I missed that darned balloon by a mile.鈥�
They both looked at me and in unison said
鈥渊耻辫!鈥�

.Mysteriously, the Americans disappeared from Penzance as suddenly as they had arrived. One day they just weren鈥檛 there anymore. I realise now that those blond giants who gave us such exotic gifts , and who spoke such a strange language, were probably aged about 18 or 19. Hundreds of them were killed in a surprise raid by the Germans at Slapton Sands near Dartmouth, and others were killed at Omaha Beach on D_Day. I don鈥檛 know whether Gus or Jake survived ,or if they did whether they remembered the pleasure and education they gave to a group of raggedy-arsed kids from Adelaide St., in a little Cornish town called Penzance.

FX

漏 Copyright of content contributed to this Archive rests with the author. Find out how you can use this.