大象传媒

My room is in darkness. It isn鈥檛 the kind of darkness where the demons could hide in a corner and I could see their shadows. No, this was more a scary darkness where nothing could be seen.
What really frightened me was that Mum had caused this blackness. The bedroom door had been open a little bit when she tucked me into bed.
鈥� Now you get to sleep, there鈥檚 no school tomorrow, but that isn鈥檛 an excuse to lie awake. So get your head down.鈥�
She went to the window and pulled down the black window blind, then drew across the curtains.
鈥淵ou鈥檒l be all right now, we have to make sure the bad men don鈥檛 see the light.鈥�
What light, I thought, as she closed the door and left the room.
Gran keeps telling me that bad men always love the dark. She鈥檚 always quoting from the Bible, stories of evil people that do bad things in the dark. So why can鈥檛 she and mum agree on what the bad men like?
I wonder do all big people treat six year olds as stupid. My teacher thinks all the boys in my class are as thick as mud, even though my best mate Billy is always playing tricks on him.
Mum doesn鈥檛 know about the torch under the pillow, well, she pretends she doesn鈥檛. I鈥檝e got a comic here so I鈥檒l have a look at what Desperate Dan is doing. Actually I know 鈥榗ause it鈥檚 an old one that I have read before. They stopped selling them when the war started.
The blind doesn鈥檛 keep out the noise. Wonder what that screaming sound is? There is another noise that I can鈥檛 place, sounds like those bees that were on the farm Dad took me to. Haven鈥檛 seen much of him lately; Mum says he鈥檚 home on leave. Whatever that is.
Dad lifts me from my bed, trailing the bedclothes with me.
鈥淐鈥檓on son, gotta go, gotta go.鈥�

He carries me into the street where my Mum is waiting.
鈥淚nto the shelters,鈥� shouts the policeman.
鈥� No bloody way,鈥� Dad yells back at him.
Dad could have been arrested for swearing at a policeman!
鈥� Chrissie, get into the house,鈥� he shouts.
I鈥檓 scared, Dad doesn鈥檛 usually shout at Mum.
The bright lights in the sky hurt my eyes. Dad calls them searchlights, but he wont tell me what they are searching for.
He shoves us into the space under the stairs. There is a stinking smell coming from all that wood he had put there. Support bracing he called it. Then we lie down on the mattress Mum had put on the floor last week. It is very lumpy and sticks into my back. I can鈥檛 breathe because Dad is lying on top of me, and he wont get off, even though I鈥檓 shouting and crying.
He never hurt me like that before; maybe he doesn鈥檛 love me any more.
I fall asleep.

Mum鈥檚 shaking me. Doesn鈥檛 hurt, she鈥檚 always gentle.
鈥淐鈥檓on son, its over. Put on your clothes and shoes.鈥�
She must have got them from my bedroom.
There鈥檚 glass everywhere, our windows lie broken in the parlour. Dust is covering everything, my bike looks a mess.
Mum holds onto my hand to guide me past the broken glass on the floor, I鈥檓 glad I鈥檝e put on my shoes. We run down the hall into the street.
There must be thousands of people moving about. Everyone seems to be doing something. Water is spouting from the ground into the air, just like it does in the fountain at the park. The whole street appears to be on fire. Dad is helping to clear stones from where the shelters used to be. He turns round and sees us, at the same time I see a wee arm sticking out of a pile of bricks. I want to run away.

鈥淐hrissie, you shouldn鈥檛 be here with the young lad, go back inside.
Mum is annoyed with him, 鈥淛ack, there鈥檚 no water or lights in the house and I can smell gas. We鈥檙e better out here.鈥�
She looks around, and whispers, 鈥� Was that Mrs Devine鈥檚 wee boy in the rubble?鈥�
鈥淐hrissie be quiet, Jackie will hear you. Yes, the whole family was in the shelter. It took a direct hit.鈥�
They think I don鈥檛 hear them, but I do.
The lady from the Salvation Army comes marching down the street followed by a lot of my mates and their mums.
She shouts over to my mum, 鈥淲e鈥檙e going round to the hall for the rest of the night. Are you coming?鈥�
I hear Dad say we should. Mum takes me over to her.
鈥� Take the wee lad, I鈥檒l stay here and give a hand.鈥�
Mum gives me a hug and off I trot with the rest of my mates. As I turn the corner I look back and see Mum and Dad working among the dirt.
I鈥檓 still frightened.

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