大象传媒

This story has been submitted to the eople's War site by Tanya Proudlove on behalf of Pat Lofthouse and has been added to the site with her permission.

I was born in Liverpool. Mum had two girls and one boy, Trudy born 1930, me 1931 and John 1933. My dad had been a seaman but gave it up when he married. My gran played a big part in the family. She wasn't very tall, about my height now (5ft) and quite skinny, more meat on a dog's bone, but her word was always respected.

The house next door to my gran beacame vacant and my dad went to see the landlord about renting it. You had to offer money for the key and he went as high as 12/-, a lot of money in 1938. He got it and mum was over the moon. Dad moved all our belonging in a handcart, it took him a full day, going backwards and forwards. The house itself was a mess, craked windows, broken gas fittings, torn wallpaper hanging off the walls, plus mice and bugs. Mum, dad, gran and good new neighbours soon had it liveable.

Work was hard to find, but my dad had a job on the docks, unloading cargo boats, mostly bananas. They came in long thin wooden boxes with a band of thin metal. Men gripped this metal when lifting them. Dad came home one day with his thumb bandaged. The box he had been lifting, the metal snapped the end of his thumb off. He poo-pooed mum's attempts to redress it saying bandage would only get dirty again, said it would soon heal. He began to get sick but still went to work, you would not get paid if you were off, but he got worse. Then he wasn't at home anymore, nothing was ever explained to us children, those days children were seen and not heard. I did find out though, my dad was in hospital.

Auntie Doris said she was taking my sister and I on a day out, we could miss school (something we never did). We set off for our day out, hadn't got far and I ran back, forget what for. My aunt tried to stop me, outside our house was a beautiful glass coach pulled by two large black horses, on their heads were purple plume feathers. I thought it was a fairy coach, it was in fact my dad's funeral. That's why we were taken out of the way. I didn't go, my sister and I were too upset. Had they told me things might have been better. I had to grow to find the truth. Due to the accident with his thumb my dad got septicaemia, was very ill, he died an awful death. He did not report the accident to the Foreman so it was never logged. It was a hard task getting money for the funeral. That was 1938, at least my dad escaped the war.

Mum had to work, money was short, mum ended up with two jobs. Gran saw to our tea when we came from school, but we also had many jobs to do. I'd to do the black lead on the grate once a week, do mum's and gran's front step twice a week, polish the parlour and iron. On Saturday I'd shop for mum and gran. I got 2d a week pocket money.

War was declared two days before my 8th birthday 1939. We got gas masks to carry with us always> I had and identity disc round my neck, which was NIRG84, each of us had one with our numbers on. Nothing happened for a while. In bed one night the siren went, we rushed down to the shelter, we could hear the hum of the German planes, then the loud explosions. It went on until nearly dawn, the all clear went. At first everyone was too frightened to venture out. A sewing factory about 2 blocks away was just a shell and on fire, There was rubble, broken windows, buildings burning, it was a horrible sight. I thought that was war and that was the end of it. How wrong I was.

We were lucky our homes were still intact in a way. At least they were still standing, we'd a lot of slates off the roof, no windows, gran had no front door or windows. I think (can't really remember)it was one or two days before the next raid. That was a lot worse, the hospital got hit, part of the maternity unit. My grandad was an ARP Warden and helped out, he came home and cried.

Then came the evacuation of children, but mum and gran would not agree to us going. We were upset, all our friends were going, mum would not say why we couldn't go. With a lot of children gone most schools closed for safety, or were bombed. Our school closed so for us that was the end of school. I wore callipers on my legs as a child, and attended hospital quite a lot, which meant also as I grew I'd to have bigger size special shoes. I put this down to the reason mum wouldn't let us be evacuated with all the other children.

Mum had a friend with relatives in Canada, she sent her two daughters so they'd be safe. They sailed on SS City of Benares. The ship was torpedoed 17th September 1940, 120 people drowned, 80 of those were children. Mum's friend's two daughters were among the drowned. Mum did not find out until much later. When she did she explained to me why she wouldn't let us three go. She said it's quite simple - you three were all I had to live for when dad died, she didn't want to lose us too.

Liverpool was a mess but we got through. I spent a lot of time in air raid shelters. Food was short so was money, but mum ended up doing ten hour days and kept the wolf from the door. Every birthday I had I do know while the war was on I was in the shelter. I do know people were kinder and would help one another, would joke and laugh so that you wouldn't be frightened even if they themselves were scared. We ended up with very little, but we had each other. As we grew older and moved away mum was living alone, she was robbed and her home wrecked four times.

My brother lost touch for a while but I believe he went to London. Guess he thought life would be better, I don't know. He was found floating in the Thames - how, why, I don't know. My mother has died and my sister with cancer. I'm the only one left, with no answers.

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