大象传媒

The British Army have always held Tattoo's, usually in London where they could show off their expertise in all things military and to attract the largest crowds possible in order to garner public support for an increased supply of funds from the Defence Dept. Budgets were invariably cut if there was little likliehood of an imminent war or other fracas somewhere in the world wide Empire or other areas mandated by the League of Nations for Britain's protection as policemen of the World. History relates that there was always something going on such as the Sikh Wars, Afganistan, Baluchistan, Middle East, South Africa etc to whittle away the ever reducing funds and so when World Wars broke out Britain was always, understaffed, underequipped, underfunded and so under the gun !

The word TATTOO is a corruption of the ' Taps to Barracks ' which was a ceremony conducted by the Fyffes and Drums of the Regiment to get the soldiery out of the Pubs and back to barracks in time for 'first post' - 'last post' and 'lights out'. Woe betide any soldier incapable of 'passing muster' at the guard room under the eagle eye of the Regimental Sergeant Major. R.S.M's seldom sleep, or if they do it's dog like with one eye open, and they were all cut from the same mould. General Montgomery and WW11 had a great deal to do with softening their ways with the common soldier, particularly the conscripts filling the Army as most of the professional soldiers had been lost in France, The Desert and Burma, in the early days of 1939/41. R.S.M's had a difficult time in adjusting to the ways of the civilians filling the ranks, I remember one incident with an R.S.M whose family had served for many generations. I had returned from leave and my kit bag had been 'misplaced' by the storekeeper and so I had to report to the R.S.M.

On entering his office smartly - there was no other way to enter his office - he barked "what do you want' ? - I stammered out that "I have just returned from leave SIR - and I found my kit bag to be missing, SIR."

To use the words 'found' and 'missing' in the same sentence was too much for him and so after a lengthy semantic exercise, he appreciated that my kit was in fact lost ! He then barked " well then Lad, B..... off and report to the S.Q.M.S and tell him to put you on a charge for losing your kit, and I'll march you in to the C.O. in the morning - DISMISS !" Thankfully the kit finally turned up and so both he and I were spared the sadistic horror of meeting the C.O. who was always a bit 'liverish' in the mornings.

The Tattoo changed over many years - if not centuries as Fyffes and Drums were the Regimental Bands back in the days of Cromwell circa 1650. To-day various Regimental Bands
,particularly the Brigade of Guards,perform all over the world and well entertaining they are, and in constant demand.

So here we were in Austria and as we were helping to feed and keep warm the Austrians, someone had the bright idea of entertaining them as well,so the first Britiah Army Tattoo to be held overseas was scheduled for Vienna. This, of course, was one in the eye for 2nd Army in Germany who now had to come up with something else for Berlin.

Rehearsals were begun under Major Bullivant, Capts. Peter Bull and The Lord Carmichael with much hilarity, a stagecoach was built by the fitters and test driven through the narrow cobbled streets of Althoven with the locals shaking their heads at the antics of the "Krazy Englanders". Costumes appeared and I was dressed as a Monk, with the other passengers of the stagecoach being namely Hughes, Kelly and MacCormack dressed as well to do landed Gentry and two "females" who looked suspiciaously like Willie Moore and Al Offord.

A driver for the two horses was recruited from the front end of a Sherman Tank,who found that steering two skittish horses in a straight line was quite a challenge,while the co-driver spent hours rehearsing the "Post Horn Gallop" or reasonable facsimile, whilst bouncing up and down in a springless stagecaoch.

All too soon we were entrained for Vienna being held up at the Semmering Pass by big hulking Russians with Kalaznakov machine pistols hanging from their shoulders, the general concensus was that we were not going to have many laughs with those chaps.

The Tattoo was to be held in the grounds of the Schoenbrunn Palace with the bomb damaged 'Gloriette' in the background, and was a magnificent setting even with the absence of all floralworks.
This was to be - as always - a searchlight Tattoo and could only start when the sun went down. The show started with the Coldstream Guards performing the "Sunset Ceremony" as only the Guards can.The programme was two hours long and was enjoyed by more than 10,000 Viennese during that week. Various V.I.P.'s and Brass made short work of the refreshments on a nightly basis.

As an old Cavalry Regiment the 16/5th Lancers,founded in 1689 by Queen Charlotte who also gave her name to a group of Islands off the British Columbia coast, were well placed for a spot in the show as our second in command Major Bullivant, had some experience with the pre war Tattoos held in London, so we were in - and our sister regiments 17/ 21st Lancers and Lothian and Border Horse were out. Unfortunately our other Armoured Brigade in the Division had the 4th Hussars which was Mr Churchills old regiment from the Boer War and they were also in ,just in case the old man decided to drop in for the show !

There was a shortage of 'pukka lances' and so these were given to the Hussars and we had to make do with sharpened clothes type poles with a pennant. Our fifteen minutes of fame consisted of a sketch of mounted Brigands awaiting the arrival of the stagecoach and show jumping over benches and tables outside the hostelry where the horses were to be changed ( Wells Fargo copied this idea in the tumultuous American wild west in the 1860's) On the sounding of the post horn, the Brigands would hide
and at the right moment, would gallop out and surround the stagecoach demanding "your money or your life" ( both Dick Turpin and Robin Hood held the copyrights of this demand in the 12th century) this was also copied in the wild west - (John Wayne et al ). When the passengers had been relieved of their worldy goods, the 7th Cavalry rode to the rescue - this was a troop of the 16/5th Lancers really at the full gallop with outstretched clothes poles and pennants a fluttering - and escorted the Brigands off to the slammer, but not before the Leader - Capt Peter Bull riding a Lippzanner Stallion rode in front to give a mighty bow to the audience who went wild to see their own Lippzanner's again after their rescue from Czechoslovakia by no less than US General George S. Patton.

The rest of the programme was very entertaining with the various bands marching up and down all over the place, the Hussars doing their 'Musical Ride' (also copied by the Canadian Mounties), the 4/5 Hampshires firing a Fue de Joie - this was the whole battalion of 750 men firing their rifles in very quick succession from left to right, giving a contiuous fire. This was lost on the audience until the organisers changed it so that one man in the centre fired his rifle two seconds AFTER the others had finished ! This brought the house down as did the performance by the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders Pipe Band in their full Highland Dress as did other units.

From all reports, the Viennese were most grateful for the entertaining break in their more than dull lives of shortages of all items and being plundered by the Russians. The story of their sufferings will probably never be told suffice to say that when the Corps of Three Infantry Divisions fianlly entered Vienna they were quickly withdrawn and replaced by a Corps of Mongolian Troops who were given orders that "Vienna is yours - do as you will " - and they did, to their everlasting shame.

It was an enjoyable time in Vienna as I was able to visit St Stephens Cathedral, the Roccoco Church of St.Peters,the vineyards of Grinzing, see the statues of both Goethe and Schiller outside and flanking the Rathaus, the bombed out Opernhaus where I heard the tremendous voice of Elisabeth Schwartzkopf for the first time being conducted by Von Karajan, the Kursaal, the Spanish Riding schule. My Brother Larry visiting from Malta in a Bomber - for the day and playing snooker in Meidling and writing a joint letter home to our parents, which surprised them !

I have been back a couple of times to Vienna and can always enjoy that beautiful City of Strauss, Lehar, Bethoven, Mozart, Schubert and all the other great composers of the finest music.

Two incidents here in British Columbia in the late 90's brought all this back to me when we met an Englishwoman who was married to an Austrian - who turned out to be the son of the owners of the Gasthouse in Althoven where we had our Regimental H.Q. on the top floor of the hotel. Hans Egger's daughter now runs the Hotel ! The other was when I met an old Austrain woman and I mentioned the Vienna Tattoo - she started to cry as she had been in the audience one night. Small world !

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