大象传媒

This little story relates to an incident which occurred just before 'D' Day when the men of a certain unit were, without warning, confined to barracks. Not allowed out under any circumstances.

This enforced restriction fell like the hand of doom on two of the lads who, it so happened, were in the throes of a loving and serous relationship with two of the local girls. Suddenly they were faced with a problem, how to get out, as get out they felt they must. To see their respective sweethearts and let them know what was happening.

The more they pondered over it the more unbearable their plight became. Then suddenly a ray of hope beckoned, they could see a way out of the gloom. In my experience of army life during the war if anybody could see a way out of a hole its your ordinary squaddy and I cannot understand why a lot more of them were never decorated.

Before I get to the gist of my story perhaps I should explain to the reader that in the army there are written rules which have to be obeyed and on the spot rules, as determined but warrant officers and senior N.C.O's. These too have to be obeyed. One such on the spot for instance is, if a Sgt. Major or suitably empowered N.C.O feels that a squaddy is shirking gainful employment or being idle during parade hours, he is wont to bawl out with a powerful voice, words such as :-'you, what do you think you're on?' If he gets a reply which he thinks is satisfactory and which seems to be work related, he then shows his satisfaction with the rejoinder, 'right, you'll be on it again tomorrow'.

Now to return to our two lovelorn squaddies and their predicament, how to get out of barracks. As I've said, a sudden ray of hope beckoned, over a period of several days they had conventrated their attention on the main entrance and in so doing had noticed that the ration truck left barracks at a certain time every morning. This then was to be their way out.

An opportunity presented itself one morning when their particular duties brought them close to the mamin entrance on the route taken by the ration truck. As it neared the gate and having slowed down, they ran forward and jumped up on the back, the tail board was swinging freely over the number plate and this made their effort much easier. There they sat unconcerned with their lefs dangling.

Just at that moment the beady eyed Sgt. Major hove into sight and saw the two lads on the back of the truck. He immediately bawled out the standard question, ' You two, what do you think you're on? Quick as a flash came a reply from one of the lads, 'We are fume testing sir'. 'Right', said the Sgt. Major, 'you'll be on it again tomorrow'.

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