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CHAPTER 4— THE END OF THE NIGHTMARE ?

It was on Saturday, 23rd.January, that Mr. Dalgliesh came on board to give us our ships which we had to join to sail home. I was to join the 'Empire Meteor' along with our master and three officers. We also learned that this convoy was due to sail for home not later that January 30th. The next day, Sunday, while having dinner, we heard a very impressive church service on the radio, but that only made us unhappy.

I began to sort out and pack my clothes, but again had to stop as those raiders came again. Had another go at packing the next day, and this time finished the job. I was now ready to step off this ship within the hour.

We moved later to go down the river to finish off one or two ships which of our reliefs had not arrived-mine was one of them. The Chief Officer, 2nd.Officer, and one donkeyman were also disappointed It was a fearful knockout to hear that news, but we could not make any better of it. We just had to stay on until they arrived and were relieved.

The 'Empire Baffin', which was bringing our reliefs had had to turn back with engine trouble.

When the trawler came on 22nd. January to take off our shipmates, we who were to stay felt very sick at the parting.

Before the new crew had time to settle down we had orders to shift, but it was not a long job this time, and I got onto my back very early that night, and, for a wonder, we got a good nights sleep. No raiders bothered us.

The following morning some mail came on board but too late to send out to the ship that the others had boarded to go home. They sailed for home at about 9a.m., and as we saw them moving from their anchorages we got a nasty sickly feeling. We should have been with them, and I think we went about all day in a sort of haze. Thank goodness that we were not troubled by raiders.

For the last few days our fresh water supply had been getting too low to be safe, so when nothing was being done, in spite of repeated requests, there was nothing for me to do but take drastic measures. I stopped all work on the cargo by shutting down all the necessary steam. That caused them to open their eyes, and very soon got a lighter with water sent to us. They got steam back again when all of that water was on board and not before. That action did not suit the Russian people, but we must have water before we can get steam. It certainly served its purpose, because they next arranged for us to go alongside the 'Empire Snow' to fill up our coal bunkers. This was also the day that the Chief Officer was suspended from duty by the Ministry of War Transport, and the Second Officer was promoted to Chief Officer.

We now seemed to be going to have a change in the weather. It was much milder, and the temperature was about 30 degrees. The sky was again clear-not a cloud to be seen-so we could expect raiders over any time.

Our other shipmates had not been a week on their journey home, and we were wondering how they were faring, and whether we would soon be on our way. Oh, it was depressing, this waiting for our reliefs, and they could not even tell us if they had left home yet. The new crew were already sick of this job, and were looking out for their reliefs already! I myself could hardly find the energy to do anything - just sat in my cabin dreaming of home.

Towards the end of the first week in February we had three days of wind-blowing gale force, and with it there was more snow, so you can imagine what conditions were like-but while we had that we had no raiders.

I was still feeling very homesick, as, bout this time, February 10th.,we thought that our old shipmates should have reached Scotland, and wondered if they had got through without much fighting. The Second Officer and I spent hours together talking over all our troubles, but it was not until the 13th.February that we heard, through the kindness of Lieut.Cook R.N., that they had all arrived safely. We were very pleased to hear the news-but it set us wondering what our fate would be when we sailed for home, and wondering if, and when, our reliefs would come. The very next day we were told that the convoy bringing them had not yet left home, and here we were, looking for them every day. It was certainly a game of patience!

A few days later, on the 17th.February, we heard that the next convoy was due on the 25th. February. That did not help me much, as I now kept wondering about our trip home, and if we should have a quiet passage and arrive safely. I kept imagining all sorts of things, which I should not have done. If only these raiders would give us a little peace once in a while.

We had a very heavy raid from midnight on the 19th, February until nearly breakfast time. Of course the Second Officer and I jumped as soon as we heard the first sound of a gun, and by this time the new crew did the same, as they began to realise that it was not easy to stand up to this sort of thing for such a long period. It was now 27 hours since I had had any sleep, and here we were, to shift the ship again as soon as breakfast was over. That shift took us until after dinner, then I had a little job to do on one of the dynamos. That was no sooner finished than back came the raiders, and they kept us company until 3.45 the following morning. I think that I just dropped on my settee then - 53 hours since I last slept - but they did not return until 7.50 p.m..I did get a few hours rest in between meals. This last visit lasted until midnight, and then I did not sleep for worrying.

Sunday the 21st. February was a glorious day with a fine clear sky, yet we knew what to expect, and sure enough, over they came just after 10a.m., and bothered us all afternoon, and up to 9.30p.m..

This had been the very worst week that we had had since we came here. The Second Officer and I were now nearly 'crackers', sitting for long periods, talking of home - he planning his forthcoming marriage - I wonder - its a strange life this - just wondering what is coming next. We wonder if we shall be in our own homes three weeks from tonight - that will be March 11th.-time will tell.

The following days were just as trying as the previous weeks, at times I must have slept standing on my feet. In the engine room I was just about afraid to be left alone. Friday afternoon, 26th. February, Mr.Dalgliesh sent for Maurice and me. He said that he had some good news for us and also some bad news. He decided to give us the bad news first. Our reliefs were NOT in the next convoy. Well, you can imagine how we felt when we heard THAT news. His good news was that a relief crew was coming out for the 'Empire Bard', and he was going to try his very best to get the Chief Officer, Second Officer, and Second Engineer to come to this ship to relieve us, instead of going to the 'Empire Bard' .Well, that gave us just a faint of hope. If we had to spend a second extension out here, how we should manage it Heaven alone knew!

Next day, Saturday, was a beastly day .The convoy had not yet reached port, and the bombing was of the worst. I really cannot describe how Maurice and I stick it. We wonder if we should ever see our firesides again. Sunday came fine and clear, and very early those raiders got busy-but we saw these ships coming in, and oh, what a wonderful sight. but still we were not sure that we would get away, and all I could do was wander aimlessly about, doing nothing-just thinking and hoping. I could not pull myself together once that day, to go inside the engine room, even when we had to shift, but left it to the Chief and 3rd.Engineer.

At 7p.m. Lt.Cook came down and called for us. Yes, it was time, our reliefs were now coming on board, and within 30 minutes we were over the side and away to the trawler which was to take us to the 'Empire Tristram'.

Just as we got on the trawler 'Jerry' paid us a farewell (we hope) visit, and I can tell you that he did drop a lot of heavy stuff, doing a lot of damage, the old ship that we had just left having her luckiest escape so far. This raid was so heavy that they did not dare let us on board the 'Empire Tristram', but I am glad to say that it did not last long, and it was a big relief to find that, at 9.45 p.m.,we were actually on a ship bound for HOME!

We soon found our cabins, and, as there were no more raids that night I slept soundly, my mind now being a little easier - but what was the voyage home to be like - I still wondered about that.

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