大象传媒

MY STORY

PAULINE BOWDEN
Born 1945
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This is a short insight into my childhood years and then as an adult the search for my father.

THE YEAR OF 2002 - changed my life.

I never knew my father. He met my mother when they both served in the armed forces during World War 2.
My mother [Olive Dickens] joined the ATS / Military Police, my father a driver in the Royal Army Service Corps. They met when my mother was on escort duties, my father drove her during some of those duties.

My mother also sang with the Yorks & Lancashire Regimental Band.

She never told me much about my father. It was mentioned [only in anger] during rows with my step- father.

Born in Bradford I found out later that my father鈥檚 mother lived there after returning from India with her children. I presumed that is why my mother took up lodgings there.
The family she lived with were very good to her through many rough times in her life. I knew them but they also never spoke about my father.

My mother told me [later in my life] my father was married when she became pregnant. He said he was leaving/left his wife and wanted to make a home with her.

It obviously didn鈥檛 work out and from what she told me she had told him to go.
My first birth certificate - 28th March 1946 showed only my Mother鈥檚 name, I was re-registered on 21st May 1946 by my mother and father; after my Baptism May 19th 1946. My address was different from the first registration; I can only presume that my mother was then living with my father. Records show that he was also at my Baptism.
I do not know how long they were together.

My mother initially stayed in Bradford and brought me up by herself; her own family had disowned her due to having me out of wedlock. I was also told that my father went back to Bradford after my mother had left the area.

She took employment as a housekeeper for a widower from Woodlesford, Nr Leeds; he had 2 children. She married him in 1949 they had a daughter and a son together.

Her married years were not ones I cared to remember and as always when you get older you remember the worse times more than ever. In 1953 when we were performing a 鈥楥oronation Show鈥� singing 鈥楲and of Hope and Glory鈥� at a local institute whispers we heard that my mother had collapsed at the back of the hall and had been taken to hospital. She had taken yet another beating and had a broken jaw plus concussion; I was dreading going home.

Many years of violence and rows in ensued, being called a B* many times but never realising what this meant. I won鈥檛 go into any further incidents.

I felt that I didn鈥檛 belong in this family; I was a stranger here. A lot of animosity came from the direction of my step father; I wasn鈥檛 aware then that he wasn鈥檛 my natural father.

I wanted to stay on at school and then go to teacher training college. I was prevented from doing so because my step father would not allow it; I was told I had to go out to work like the rest of the family.

Throughout my school years and early adult life I had never been told about my parentage; whenever I had to produce my Birth Certificate at school I always took it in a sealed envelope accompanied by a letter.

In 1963 I found out I had a different father when I began Nurse training in 1963/64; I had to produce my birth certificate for the State Registry.
My step father never wanted to adopt me and give me his surname; even though I went through single life with his surname.
Reluctantly and to keep the peace I had my surname changed by Deed Poll in January 1964.

Although shocked it answered many questions I had in my mind.
I remember an argument in early 1950s; a 10 shilling postal order was mentioned. I later found out that this was maintenance money paid from my father sent via social services. My mother told me that the last she knew was that my father had gone to live in New Zealand.
No more was said and I knew straight away that if I pursued this it would only create more arguments and more trouble for my mother.

I eventually left home in 1964 and enlisted into the W.R.A.C. with the Royal Army Pay Corps.

In December 1969 I married my husband Alan; reluctantly I let my stepfather give me away.
We lived in Cheshire for a time then moved to Wakefield. Our son was born in Cheshire in 1971.

My mother eventually divorced in early 1970s. She lived near us but never went into any details regarding my father; it didn鈥檛 seem right to push her on this as her health wasn鈥檛 good.

I always had it in the back of my mind to try and search for my father. I led a very busy life and so it was put aside. I had sent requests to help me search via TV programmes i.e. 鈥楽urprise Surprise鈥� without results.
After having to give up work through ill health in 1995 I began thinking again about tracing my father.

I posted many messages on the Internet, I researched his surname without any luck.

1997 I was diagnosed with having ME/CFS and my research time became very limited.

2002 I posted more messages hoping it would help in my search.
In March I received an email from findpeople-uk.com:-

鈥渉i try www.findpeople-uk.com
i can help

kind regards annie鈥�

I gave them my details.
Annie鈥檚 husband Andy rang me with other peoples details re my father鈥檚 surname and other resources I could try. On 21st March Annie visited the Records Office to do further searches.

Andy emailed me a page from a 大象传媒 web site.

Tony Hambleton
Missing Father
I am trying to trace my father Tom Hambleton who served in the RASC as a regular, from 1940. He was a driver during WW2.I don鈥檛 know when he left the Army as my parents were divorced in 1948.

An amazing coincidence Tony was my half brother.
I replied to the message saying that Tony was looking for the very same person as me.

Records Office showed that I also had a half sister [Susan] from my father鈥檚 first marriage. Tony and Susan were born in 1941, 1945 respectively in Newton Abbot My father was divorced from their mother in 1948.

I felt excited, nervous and apprehensive wondering what the next step would be. Finding someone had already been a huge step.

What followed was truly amazing and the dates I will never forget:-

Friday evening 22nd March 鈥� Tony rang.
Tony told me quite a bit about my father and about himself and his family. He has been looking for his father for about 30 years.
Our lives at times seem to have run parallel to each other.
Both served in the Armed Forces, Tony - RAF. Both served in the Middle East [Aden]; both admitted to the hospital there.
May 2002 my son came out of the RAF after 14years of service. He did the same electronics training as Tony and has been to some of the same RAF stations.

We chatted for a very long time it felt like I鈥檇 known him all my life. We agreed we must meet.
I sent via email & post some family photos, to Tony.

We all met over the weekend of 27/28th April at a hotel in Telford, Shropshire. We planned to visit the RAF Museum at Cosford on the Sunday. Susan married one of Tony鈥檚 RAF buddies.

Before our meeting I went through a series of feelings 鈥� What would they look like, would we have much to say to each other; should I really be imposing myself into other people鈥檚 lives? After all our father was married to their mother when I was born, what would they really think of me?
Friday before our meeting my mind was somewhere on another planet, I couldn鈥檛 settle to anything. I was excited but had a feeling of unrealism. Was this really happening to me? In just 4 weeks I had found a brother and sister and in less than 24 hours I would meet them.

Night brought little sleep. Saturday morning I felt nervously excited and very unreal, there was no turning back now.

The 大象传媒 sent a reporter from the local radio station along with photographer.

Whilst I was telling some of my story Tony and Susan came into the room

The anxiety etc. soon disappeared when they entered the room. Their warm greeting was really all I needed. I was in a bit of a daze, was this really true? There they were, a brother and sister I had only found out about a few weeks ago.
We talked with such ease you鈥檇 not believe we鈥檇 never met before. When speaking with Tony I knew that our lives had so much in common, another common factor here - Susan and I wore the same spectacles.
After the chatter and meeting respective spouses we had lunch. I saw photographs of my father and my grandfather I was given copies of my father. I now knew what my father looked like in his 20s. I also saw that I had inherited the dimple in his chin.

Back in our room I felt tired with the emotion of it all; as I lay on the bed tears just flowed, and I fell asleep. This had made such a huge impact on my life and the feelings of the joy and happiness today.

Saturday night the tears returned; I eventually nodded off, exhausted but very happy. The rest of the weekend went extremely well; we talked and laughed again I felt that great feeling of warmth and friendliness, something I had not known in my younger days.
Our visit to Cosford museum went well. The men looked around whilst Susan, Beryl and I had refreshment and talked. I found myself hearing words from Susan that could have come from me. We鈥檇 also had similar employment and some of our views very much the same.

We were all under the impression our father had gone to New Zealand in the 1950s .His father had actually been asked for money to bring him back; but had refused.

All too soon the time had come when we had to go our separate ways. On the way to our cars Susan gave me a small book entitled Sisters! I didn鈥檛 really know what to say, what seemed small was huge in my eyes.
Hugs and kisses were exchanged as we said our goodbyes, we knew it wouldn鈥檛 be long before we would meet again.

Tears flowed as we left them with an overwhelming sense of happiness having spent a lovely weekend with some truly wonderful people 鈥� 鈥楳y new found FAMILY鈥�

A lovely thought was when Tony rang that evening to see if we鈥檇 arrived home safe and sound.

Monday 29th April

Extracts from our incredible meeting were broadcast on Radio Leeds breakfast show. I recorded them on tape. Listening to the tape still brings tears to my eyes.

May - our family story and pictures published on the 大象传媒鈥檚 鈥榃e鈥檒l Meet Again鈥� website.

My father鈥檚 second marriage to Elsie Rush in Bradford 1950 showed he was in the RASC.

June 14th - that evening Susan and her husband came to stay prior to going to the 大象传媒 party the next day. It was really good getting to know more about her and her family. We looked at photographs and talked of our past lives, it was such a shame that we hadn鈥檛 known each other before now.
When Susan was a baby my mother visited their home [my father was abroad at the time], this whilst my mother was heavily pregnant with me. It was therefore no surprise to Susan that I existed.

We met with Tony on the 15th. in Manchester and went on to the party after booking into our hotel. The party was mainly for war veterans. TV cameras were about most of the 3 hour event.

My father was born in India so I began a search for his Birth Certificate. I found information that birth records for those born in India could be obtained from the British Library;

September 28th - Whilst surfing the Internet I came across a US Death Index Record of my father鈥檚 death. He had died on 21st January 1997.
It was late I phoned Tony regarding my findings; he too thought this must be our father.

Individual Record FamilySearch鈩� U.S. Social Security Death Index
30 September 2000

Thomas HAMBLETON
Birth Date: 16 Oct 1922
Death Date: 21 Jan 1997
Death Residence Localities
ZIP Code: 33702
Localities: Gateway Mall, Pinellas, Florida
Saint Petersburg, Pinellas, Florida

I left a message on the message boards on a site to try and verify what I had found. A woman who was a member of the Pinellas genealogy society, St.Petersburg responded to my message and verified the information. She also told me his obituary had been published in the St Petersburg Times.

1st October I found my father鈥檚 obituary in the St. Petersburg Times.

My friend from St. Petersburg continues to keep in touch. She gave me a link regarding my father in ex President Carter鈥檚 1980 Diary. This shows of a visit by President Carter to the hotel my father managed.

From that diary my father had a wife named Clara, checking once again the US Death Index register I found she had died in October 1986 in Idaho. My father must have divorced her as the wife mentioned in his Obituary was named Dorothy.

Checked again on the death register and found that Dorothy had died in May 1998[aged 59], just over a year after the death of my father.

Autumn 2002 we had a holiday in the South of England not far from where Tony lived [in Fareham, Hampshire]. We visited Tony and his wife Beryl found out more about my father and my grandfather. I copied photos of my grandfather plus a 1935 Christmas card sent from our grandfather to our father when he was with the Ambasamudram Light Motor Patrol, Southern Provinces Mounted Rifles in India.
I felt so at home with them.

November 鈥� Whilst staying with our son in Norwich, we all went to visit Susan and her family. She lives near Cambridge.
Susan had made us all a lovely Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner; it was a memorable day everyone got on very well together. Not only did we meet my new niece and her family our son also met his new aunt, uncle and cousin for the first time.

We spoke about our father and the findings on the internet. It seemed so strange that no-one had known he had gone to the States. Susan and husband Nick had visited Florida many times and of course neither were aware that our father was close by.
Tony had been to St Petersburg visiting a friend in 2000 it was a short distance from where our father was cremated.

January 2003 鈥� Took an opportunity to have a 2 week holiday in Florida and planned to visit St. Petersburg whilst we were there.
Places visited :-

庐 Princess Martha Hotel which my father had managed it is now apartments for the retired. The people were very kind and let us look around at our leisure.

庐 21st January Clearwater Cemetery. Exactly 6 years from the day he died. The man at the cemetery was very good to us. He showed us the communal area by the lake where my father鈥檚 ashes had been scattered and told us where we could get a copy of my father鈥檚 death certificate.
It was a shame that here he was so far away from his family once again alone.
His wife was cremated at another cemetery.

庐 Obtained a copy of my father鈥檚 death certificate, tried looking for the address given on that certificate. [Gandy Boulevard; quite a coincidence as he was born in India!].

庐 Met up with genealogy friend Edith at the Library where she does voluntary work. Such a lovely old lady, giving us more information about the family of my father鈥檚 last wife. They had all worked at the Princess Martha Hotel.

庐 Final visit - Pinellas Court House - again the people were very helpful. A copy of my father鈥檚 application to marry his wife Dorothy was obtained; they married August 1981 It showed he divorced Clara in June 1981; Dorothy was divorced in September 1969 and she was born in England.

My father鈥檚 obituary showed he had a Step daughter. We tried to trace addresses for her in the records at the Court House found 2; investigated both without success.

Dorothy died in hospital in Tampa. Her Obituary was in the St Petersburg Times. I also have a copy of her British birth certificate.

Also found Obituaries of her Father who died in 1995 and her mother who died in April 2002. The family settled in St. Petersburg in1962 and worked at the Princess Martha Hotel.

More coincidences:-
庐 My father鈥檚 last wife Dorothy was born in Lancashire in December 1938.
庐 My husband Alan was born in Lancashire in November 1938!

My father鈥檚 鈥楪reen Card鈥� showed he applied for it on 4th April 1963 in San Carlos, California.

My application to the Immigration and Naturalization Service is still ongoing.
Cannot trace my father鈥檚 step daughter [Maria E Sanchez]

FINALLY:-

Words cannot explain what it has meant to me finding a family
where I actually felt 鈥業 BELONGED鈥�

Pauline Bowden
November 2003