大象传媒

The window above his head had cracked under the impact of the misguided football. Jimmy gazed unperturbed at the now empty street. He couldn鈥檛 run like the other boys, one leg was shorter than the other, and. anyway he hadn鈥檛 done anything wrong, so why should he run. The front door of the big house opened violently and he was confronted by an irate Mrs Carnduff.

鈥淵ou broke my window,鈥� she screamed. 鈥淚鈥檓 getting the polis.鈥�
She grabbed him roughly by the shirt and shook him hard.
鈥淕et on your feet. Get up, 鈥渟he shouted, all the while looking as if she was trying to throttle him.
As he struggled to raise himself from the window sill his foot slipped and he fell backwards, knocking his head hard against the wall. His eyes glazed and his mouth fell open. Slowly, almost gracefully he slid to the ground.

Mrs Carnduff released her grip and stared at the prostrate body, bewildered by this unexpected turn of events.
鈥淕et on your feet, you big clown. Stop codding about.鈥� she cried anxiously. 鈥淚鈥檝e no time to play games.鈥�
Jimmy lay still, his body twisted in the shape of an S, a half smile etched on his ashen countenance.
鈥淩abert, Rabert, come out here quick.鈥�
Mrs Carnduff was visibly upset. Her thin face was paler than usual and her hands were trembling. Rabert, her husband of forty years and no stranger to crises, appeared quickly.
鈥淟ook at him! Look at him! I think he鈥檚 had a fit. What鈥檒l we do?鈥�
By this time she was verging on hysteria. Fortunately Rabert was made of sterner stuff.

鈥淣othing for it but go up to the 鈥榦spital, dear. Fetch that rug from the front room and we鈥檒l wrap him up in that. I read somewhere you have to keep them warm. I鈥檒l put him in the car and drive him up the emergemcy. We don鈥檛 want to call the ambulance or we might have to pay for it.鈥�
Mrs Carnduff was in such a state she was more of a hindrance than a help but between them they wrapped Jimmy in the rug and eased him onto the back seat of the old Morris. The hospital was only a short distance away, and in no time at all Robert was driving through the main entrance and into the ambulance bay.
Despite Rabert鈥檚 entreaties Mrs Carnduff had insisted on accompanying him into the hospital.
鈥淚鈥檓 not sitting in the car on my own, with a corpse.鈥� she wailed.

They went to the Out-patients and talked to the woman behind the desk.
鈥淵ou should have called the ambulance. For all you know he might have broken bones and you鈥檝e maybe made things worse by moving him.鈥� said the woman sternly, wagging a huge fat finger at the hapless Rabert. 鈥淪ammy, can you and Billy come out here and deal with this. These people have brought an injured patient up here in a car. Would you credit it?鈥�

Sammy and Billy were two muscular ambulance men and they arrived at the double carrying a stretcher.
鈥淟ead me to the body,鈥� said Sammy cheerfully.
When he said that Mrs Carnduff let out a piercing howl and burst into tears. Her husband tried to comfort her, at the same time handing his car keys to Sammy.

The ambulance men went outside while Rabert stood in the Outpatients with his arm around his wife trying unavailingly to brush away her tears.
Sammy and Billy reappeared minutes later carrying the still empty stretcher. Both looked appropriately grim.
鈥淎re you trying to be funny?鈥� demanded Sammy. 鈥淚鈥檒l have you know you can be charged with wasting our time. We could have been called out on an urgent case.鈥�
They departed as quickly as they had come, leaving the distraught Mrs Carnduff to be consoled by her bemused husband. All the while the fat woman at the desk looked on unsympathetically and tsked, tsked in the most irritating way.

At length Mrs Carnduff calmed down and Rabert led her back to the car. He opened the passenger door and lo and behold on the back seat lay Jimmy, rolled up in the rug just as they had left him. His eyes were tightly closed and his face still wore that half smile. When Mrs Carnduff saw Jimmy she started to wail even louder than before. Rabert summed up the situation right away. He grasped his wife鈥檚 hand and led her back to the Out-patients.

鈥淭hat boy鈥檚 still in the back of the car,鈥� he said sternly. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know what game those two are playing at but they better get back out there. My wife鈥檚 worried sick.鈥�
Sammy and Billy appeared immediately.
鈥淲hat鈥檚 all the excitement?鈥� asked Sammy. 鈥淭his is a hospital. The way you鈥檙e going on missus you鈥檇 wake the dead. What is your problem?鈥�
Mr Carnduff rarely lost his temper but he was upset by the ambulance man鈥檚 attitude.
鈥淚鈥檒l tell you my problem,鈥� he blazed. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think you looked in our car at all. That boy was there all the time. He might be dead by now, for all you care.鈥�
鈥淢aybe you鈥檇 better show us this time,鈥� said Sammy scornfully. 鈥淚 suppose we should have looked in the boot.鈥�

They all went outside again. Rabert opened the door of the car and pointed inside.
鈥淲hat do you think that is?鈥� he asked triumphantly.
Sammy looked surprised and Billy just laughed.
鈥淒o you think maybe you need your head read?鈥� said Sammy. 鈥淐ome on Billy, we鈥檝e got better things to do than hang around here with a couple of nutters.鈥�
They strode off angrily leaving Rabert looking curiously at the neatly folded rug and the otherwise empty car.
鈥淭ake me home,鈥� begged Mrs Carnduff. 鈥淚鈥檓 fair affronted. I can鈥檛 for the life of me know what happened. We鈥檒l be the laughing stock of John Street.鈥�
Rabert had his own ideas but after forty years of wedded bliss he knew when to hold his peace.