大象传媒

From Dave Tomlinson,聽writer and Vicar of St Luke鈥檚 Holloway in London:

聽At our New Year鈥檚 Eve dinner party, we each had to recall the most significant conversation we鈥檇 had in 2017, which proved fun and interesting. I had no hesitation. It was with someone I only met once, for two hours, but who I鈥檒l never forget.

Barry lived with extreme physical suffering most of his life. Then last year, he decided enough was enough. He booked an appointment at a clinic in Switzerland to end it all. At the request of his son, I went to visit him a few days before he left the country.

I am an essentially upbeat person. Despite being a vicar, I don鈥檛 find painful situations easy. What would I say to him, I thought? I needn鈥檛 have worried. Barry immediately put me at ease. We chatted. Laughed a lot. Cried some. He dozed off a couple of times in mid-sentence...then awoke and carried on where he left off 鈥� which made us laugh some more.

Barry鈥檚 son told me his dad was a wise person who people visited for advice, but now he needed some wisdom. In the gaps when Barry dozed, I glowed at the privilege of being there. Among other things, we swapped questions. He asked me what is the opposite of life. I said 鈥業 sense that鈥檚 a trick question!鈥� He laughed and said, 鈥楴o tricks, Dave...there is no opposite to life. Life always continues in some form. Just trust yourself to it.鈥�

I asked Barry what was the thing he now treasured most. 鈥楬aving a life I can look back at with a smile鈥�, he relied 鈥� this from a man who had suffered so much! He assured me it was the relationships in his life that gave him the biggest smiles 鈥� knowing what it is to love and be loved.

It鈥檚 strange that one of the most hopeful, happy friendships I ever experienced was with a man I only met once, who was about to die. But somehow, that encounter made me feel more fully alive, more appreciative of the incredible, simple gifts of breath...and days...and loved ones.

And that鈥檚 definitely a thought I will hold onto in 2018!

Smile on Barry, wherever you are. And I鈥檒l keep smiling with you.