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From Dr Jim Harris, Art Historian:

ÌýI once told the following untruth. During a rambling conversation about football, I informed my boys that Queens Park Rangers FC was founded in by a group of West London pig butchers by appointment to the royal court, and that their original name was Queen’s Pork Rangers.

Unbelievably, the tale passed muster. Now this is not a crime.Ìý It falls, I hope, into the category of ‘cheeky story' rather than ‘destructive lie’ and I didn’t sustain the deception; mostly because it was too tempting to openly rejoice in the boys’ gullibility.

I am not a kind person.

ÌýThe trouble is, the line between a cheeky story and a destructive lie can be a touch blurry; especially when the cheeky story isn’t about fooling the kids but about kidding ourselves.

I was at the shops last week, where, along with the rest of Southeast London, I kidded myself with the cheeky story that I probably did need a little extra, although I was too late for loo paper. On Friday night, I was at the pub with my friends Lloyd and Ross, kidding myself that a warm hug between old mates wasn’t unnecessary contact.

And on Saturday, I stood with my neighbours as Dulwich Hamlet defeated Hemel Hempstead Town, kidding myself myself that this wasn’t really a large crowd.

But every time, I knew with uneasy certainty that in kidding myself I was perpetuating a more ominous kind of untruth; and that the truth is that for now I have to change the way I live.Ìý

Now on the one hand, this is a colossal pain in the neck.Ìý But on the other, hand, as Jesus said, ‘The truth will set us free’, and it is a massive relief to emerge from the weekend liberated from trying to convince myself to somehow carry on as normal.

There are some cheeky stories I will cling to.Ìý I’m sure we all will.Ìý I will, in particular, kid myself that the occasional beer is actually good for me.

But, for the time being, I reckon I have to be content with the truth, because I don’t suddenly need ten kilos of cornflakes; I don’t need to hug anyone for them to know that I love them; and I need to help keep my neighbours healthy much more than I need to see Dulwich Hamlet scramble belatedly away from the relegation zone.