大象传媒

Like many, I鈥檓 a walking contradiction - I love deep philosophy, but take real joy in a chick-flick (迟丑颈蝉听holiday I鈥檒l be diving into 鈥�罢丑别听Holiday鈥� for the gazillionth time). But one contradiction I can鈥檛 shake is that my friends think I鈥檓 a domestic goddess, but I鈥檓 actually a really messy person. It鈥檚 literally the one thing I can鈥檛 sweep under the carpet. The threat of my mess being witnessed is always enough to make me whizz around the flat like a wired fairy godmother at five-to-midnight, frantically wrestling bags into cupboards and barging myself at wardrobe doors like a battering ram to stop all my clothes spilling out. And it works!听

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When people come in, they say 鈥渙oh the flat looks nice,鈥� whilst I pray that the hinges on the cupboard behind them don鈥檛 give way, burying them in my 2011 prom dress (and accompanying fake eyelashes). The truth is, the thought of people witnessing my mess is normally a bit mortifying, because I assume it will scare them away. So, the natural urge is to keep an illusion of order. But so often my own perception of how my secret clutter will be received doesn鈥檛 square with reality. Because there鈥檚 something about admitting that you听haven鈥檛听got everything sorted that actually invites others in. Time and again, my friendships have been deepened by revealing a character flaw I thought would send them packing, or a moment of connection created from being vulnerable when it would have been easier to put a brave face on.听

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Christian writer Mike Yaconelli says that it鈥檚 in the 鈥渕ess鈥�, 鈥渦nfixedness鈥�, and 鈥渂rokenness of life鈥� that humanity truly meets with God, and others. In other words, the things I most want to hide are actually the things that help me be truly seen, and loved. As psychology Guru Brene Brown puts it: it鈥檚 only in the very act of exposing 鈥渙ur messiest鈥�most shattered鈥� parts鈥� that love itself emerges. So, as many pick up their brooms this holiday for a spring clean, I鈥檒l stop kidding myself and put mine down, remembering to invite others into my mess. Because if Jude Law walking in on Cameron Diaz in sweatpants singing Mr Brightside has taught me anything, it鈥檚 that letting someone see you in an absolute state is often how the best relationships start.听