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Please note: This script cannot exactly reflect the transmission. It may include editorial notes prepared by the producer, and minor spelling and other errors. It may contain gaps to be filled in at the time so that prayers may reflect the needs of the world, and changes may also be made at the last minute for timing reasons, or to reflect current events.

听Eleanor听

听Music O Come to the Altar

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Good morning and welcome to Sunday worship on Radio 4. My name is Rev鈥檇 Eleanor Jeans and I鈥檓 the Associate Vicar at St Paul鈥檚 Church in Leamington Spa.听

听This week is Valentine鈥檚 day, a day both loved and loathed. A day I don鈥檛 have many fond memories of if I am honest, apart from the time a boy gave me his last chocolate in a tiny box. In fact, there鈥檚 still a part of me that wonders whether a card will drop through the door each year and when something does, I鈥檓 disappointed to find it鈥檚 a bill!

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Yet St Valentine didn鈥檛 really have much to do with romance it turns out.听

听According to , Valentine signed a letter 鈥渇rom your Valentine鈥� to his jailer鈥檚 daughter, whom he had healed. Another legend states that he went against the emperor鈥檚 orders and secretly married couples to spare the husbands from war.听 Whoever Valentine was, however, what is clear is that he stood up for his faith. He refused to worship other gods or idols and as a result lost his life. What a reminder of the power of faith and love whoever we are, whatever our marital status!听 听

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Speaking of marital or relationship status, I鈥檝e always been single and in the last few years have felt called to help those who are Christian and single see the positives of singleness and to find purpose and security in it, whether that be for a season or for life, and whatever people鈥檚 sexual orientation. And so today, we鈥檒l be reflecting on what it means to be single and a Christian. We鈥檒l hear the experiences of some single Christians and remind ourselves of the ways God speaks to us about who we are through scripture, and how it鈥檚 possible to find joy, whatever our circumstances in life.听

听Our opening hymn joins us together with creation to praise our God of love. Joyful joyful, we adore thee.听

听Music. Joyful joyful we adore thee.

听Landesjugend Jazzorchester

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So let us pray

PRAYER

God of wonder and joy:

You alone are the source of life and love.

As we pray those words, we are mindful of those affected by the earthquake in Turkey and Syria. Wrap them in your love at this difficult time. And we pray for the Church of England after a challenging week at General Synod. Breathe your peace, grace and wisdom as the church responds.

Send your Holy Spirit and pour into our hearts that most excellent gift of love, as we worship you now.

In Jesus name

Amen

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Steve and Arabella are both single and they share some of their thoughts and experiences of being single听

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Arabella听听

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Steve:

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Music听听 In Christ Alone听

听Stuart Townend performed by Susan Ashton

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In that song we sang the words I am his and he is mine, words we鈥檒l hear reflected in our first reading.鈥� This is Song of Songs Chapter 6听

听Reading听 -Song of Songs 6:1-3听

鈥淲here has your beloved gone, O fairest among women? Which way has your beloved turned, that we may seek him with you? 2鈥�My beloved has gone down to his garden, to the beds of spices, to pasture his flock in the gardens, and to gather lilies. 3鈥�I am my beloved鈥檚 and my beloved is mine; he pastures his flock among the lilies.鈥�听

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5 years ago, Rev鈥檇 Kate Wharton, vicar of St Bart鈥檚 Roby in Liverpool, stood in Liverpool Cathedral in front of family and friends in a public commitment of singleness and celibacy. She shares some of her story now.听

听Reflection - Kate Wharton听

听 BELOVED听

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When Jesus was by his cousin John in the River Jordan, we鈥檙e told in the gospels that heaven was opened, a dove came down to rest upon him, and a voice was heard, the voice of God the Father, calling Jesus his 鈥榖eloved鈥�. It鈥檚 a lovely image, a moment in which we see the three persons of the Trinity interacting beautifully with one another.听听

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听It's such a beautiful, intimate word, isn鈥檛 it? Beloved. It isn鈥檛听 a word we鈥檇 use for just anybody. It鈥檚 a word that has deep meaning, a word with weight and significance.听

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The word beloved has become very special to me over the past few years. I鈥檓 single, I have always been single, and I鈥檝e been on quite a journey with God about what that means in my life, and how I can best live well within it.听听听

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A few years ago I began to sense that God was calling me to remain single. This isn鈥檛 something I had expected, or had looked for. Ever since I was a little girl, I had hoped and imagined that one day I would get married and have children. But I had begun to speak and write about singleness, and to think myself, and encourage others, about how to live life to the full as a single person.听

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I sensed this calling from God, and I immediately knew that I would accept and embrace it, even though it wasn鈥檛 what I鈥檇 expected. I did this wholeheartedly, even though I didn鈥檛 really know at that point what it would look like, because I believe that living in the centre of God鈥檚 will for me was the best thing I could do 鈥� and uncertain as it all was, I was sure that this was indeed God鈥檚 will for my life.听

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Some time after this I was again surprised by God鈥檚 specific call on my life, as I began to sense that he was asking me to make a public commitment to this calling to singleness and celibacy.

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I asked God what he wanted me to do, and prayed for grace and courage to do it. Over time, a clearer sense began to emerge. I planned a ceremony, I wrote vows, I invited friends. To start with, I jokingly referred to the whole event as 鈥楾he Thing鈥� because I didn鈥檛 quite have the right language for it. But as the planning began, it suddenly came to me 鈥� this was to be a beLOVED ceremony. Several years earlier I had heard something in a sermon which had stuck with me ever since. The speaker said this: 鈥淕od calls us beloved, and he says be loved.鈥� I thought that was so moving, and so special, and I鈥檇 never forgotten it.听听

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I know you can鈥檛 tell this because you can鈥檛 see it written down, but in the context of my ceremony the word beloved is written with a small be and a large LOVED, as my attempt to capture the intent of that phrase from the sermon. beLOVED.听听

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听I am God鈥檚 beloved. You are God鈥檚 beloved. We might sometimes find that hard to hear, and hard to believe, and hard to understand, but it is no less true because of that. Today, and tomorrow, and every day, God calls us beloved and he says be loved.听听

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听Music - In Christ Alone

Lou Fellingham

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Reading 听

鈥疘 rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11鈥疘 am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12鈥疘 know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13鈥疘 can do all this through him who gives me strength.听

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Those words are from Paul鈥檚 letter to the Philippians Chapter 4. I always had a picture of myself getting married and never thought I鈥檇 find myself in the position I鈥檓 in today - single and potentially called to remain single.听

Looking back to my twenties and thirties I really struggled seeing others marry when I wasn鈥檛. It hurt, it was challenging. And then one day someone gave me the words we鈥檝e just heard from Philippians 4. about being content. If I鈥檓 honest, I wanted to throw those words back. I didn鈥檛 want to be content as I was - it was a secret I had no desire to learn. I questioned God, his plan, his love for me.听

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Yet, now, I can honestly say听 that I鈥檝e learned that secret - although there鈥檚 still far more to learn - I鈥檓 a work in progress as we all are .

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I can say that I鈥檓 content as a single person. I鈥檝e my moments, but, that鈥檚 ok.听

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Contentment - being at peace with what you have, your lot if you like, is something many of us find difficult in today鈥檚 world. So it鈥檚 听a challenge to be content - whether that鈥檚 with material things or, in this case particularly, relationships.听

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Yet hear these words of the Apostle Paul听听

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I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.听

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These serve as A reminder that Paul, too, was single!听听

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He鈥檇 faced so much in his life, he wrote that he had a thorn in his flesh - there were things he struggled with and was challenged by - yet he was content鈥�..听

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Whatever we face, whether in need or in want, we can be content, as St Paul said. But that鈥檚 not to say we shouldn鈥檛 try to better ourselves. And that鈥檚 not to say that foodbanks are a good thing. Far from it - the bible never suggests poverty of any kind to be good. Our God is God of plenty 鈥� or at least the God of enough鈥μ�听

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So what鈥檚 the secret when it comes to singleness? Well this is what I鈥檓 learning听

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I鈥檓 learning that God loves me as I am, as a child of God - that I鈥檓 fearfully and wonderfully made as Psalm 139 says.听

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I鈥檓 learning that God is with me in all I face.听

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I鈥檓 learning to acknowledge that I鈥檓 whole and complete as I am - I don鈥檛 need a partner to be whole. But I do need others - I need to invest in my friendships.听

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I鈥檓 learning to accept that my identity is not wrapped up in my marital status听

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In John 15, Jesus says 鈥�..Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (Vs 4)听

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There鈥檚 a promise from Jesus there; when we remain in him, he will remain in us and we鈥檒l bear fruit. Surely that鈥檚 better than waiting for something to happen. Surely it鈥檚 better to make a difference by the lives we live, being content with our lot, saying 鈥榠t is well with my soul鈥� as we鈥檒l sing shortly.听

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If you鈥檙e listening and are single, be encouraged. If you鈥檙e not single, this is for you too! I believe we all need to learn the secret of being content.听听

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Mike Simpson reflects now on the bereavement and grief experienced after divorce, a situation which can often be met with spoken or unspoken judgement Yet God reminds us that he鈥檚 there.听

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听Not alone

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Earlier this winter I walked on a beach with a friend who was grieving the loss of his wife after a long battle with cancer. The sky was pure blue and the air was fresh. I listened to him and we shared in the glorious sunshine. Afterwards he messaged me saying, 鈥淚 felt good because I was able to talk without being judged. And I realised that this was the first time I鈥檝e noticed the sun for two years鈥�.

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The impact of bereavement can feel very dark. Many people say that their experience of divorce is also a kind of deep grieving.

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My own experience was like that.

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As a single man and a single parent I found many people didn鈥檛 how to respond. Friends and family helped with practical matters but there was certainly no way I could share the profound grief over the loss I felt.听 I was divorced not widowed after all! In my divorce I was ultimately alone in my grieving. Many people who lose loved ones feel that same isolation. They may have no family to turn to.

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Jesus spoke of an alternative family. When He was told his mother and brothers were outside the place where he was speaking he gestured to his disciples and said 鈥�Here are my mother and my brothers. 听For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.鈥�

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Churches sometimes focus on the biological family rather than this spiritual fellowship spoken of by Jesus. They advertise themselves as 鈥楩amily-friendly鈥� and many single people, of all ages, can feel less valued. I have attended some churches on my own and felt ignored.

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Regardless of how good the Church is at supporting the lonely and isolated, my experience as a single person is of God travelling with me, including through dark times. It is this fellowship with Christ which sustains me.

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As my grieving friend said after we walked and talked on the beach recently, 鈥淚 noticed the sun again鈥�.

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Music Song - it is well with my soul听

听Lynda RandleALBUM

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We鈥檝e heard from some who feel called to remain single and celibate, but not everyone who鈥檚 single feels that. Others dearly want to meet someone, Simon and Nicola share their experiences of singleness and how they are going about meeting a partner.听

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听Nicola:听

鈥�听Simon听

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听From seeking love to being happy Single. We hear now from Julia Loveless (what a fantastic name!) who鈥� s a poet, vocalist, and songwriter . She鈥檚 going to read her听 polemical poem 鈥� which is full on about living with singleness as a Christian. For me, It speaks powerfully into the way singleness can be seen by others.听

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Poem. THOUGHTS ON CHRISTIAN SINGLENESS - Julia Loveless听听

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I don鈥檛 have a boyfriend.听

And that鈥檚 okay - I鈥檓 really okay with that听

Please don鈥檛 make me justify it听

Just because you think my contentment is dependent on being with someone听

I am learning to be content in every situation听

So don鈥檛 raise your eyebrows in exasperation every time I deny听

Your latest observation about who I talked to at the coffee station听

I鈥檓 single, not bereft.听

There鈥檚 not a cleft down my soul听

two halves may make a whole听

But, I鈥檓 sorry, I didn鈥檛 realise half of me was missing听

So forgive me if I don鈥檛 listen to your whispering about who I should meet听

or whose parents I should greet with a more charming smile听

because all the while, behind the grin听

you鈥檙e helping the doubts set in.听

This match making culture we鈥檙e creating isn鈥檛 doing much at abating听

the three things society is dictating to me:听

I am incomplete without my soul-mate听

Never settle, but don鈥檛 let it get too late听

and as for my happiness? Well that鈥檚 up for debate, just so long as I am on my own.听

Well. Let鈥檚 try that again shall we?听

I am made whole in God.听

Concerns about my biological clock just don鈥檛 take stock, when I serve the author of time听

And as for my happiness, well that鈥檚 in His Grace - and not in the face of some stranger, I may or may not听

meet.听

Please don鈥檛 take this as a vent, because I know - so often - the intent behind the comments is so well meant,听

And I myself am just as guilty for taking on the lies that are sold to us by everybody else听

But us? We鈥檙e supposed to be different, told to swim against the stream, not just to sit back and dream about our听

one day King or one day Queen - there鈥檚 a bigger picture to be seen!听

So whatever stage we are at, I would hope we would act, with the same sort of care and tact that would set us apart.听

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听So just a little plea from us single guys and girls - we already get enough pressure from the world, but our Church,听

our community, should be encouraging us as an amenity - along with marriage and family, singles create diversity.听

For though there are doors in marriage that singles can鈥檛 claim, there are callings singleness that marriage can鈥檛听

attain!听

And whether we are called to one or the other, doesn鈥檛 make a shred of difference,听

because the one who鈥檚 above us, planned it all.听

I鈥檓 single, not forlorn,听

Because before born He was making a way just to say to me, 鈥淵ou are NOT alone鈥澨�

So He will always sit on the throne of my heart听

And maybe someday a guy will play a part,听

But even if he doesn鈥檛 and I don鈥檛 walk down that aisle,听

will you let me carry on with a hint of a smile?听

And it won鈥檛 be for his parents or faked for my friends,听

it鈥檒l be for my God, who made the ultimate amends.听

So if you catch me grinning and can鈥檛 understand why,听

or see how I can be happy without a guy by my side,听

Just remember: there鈥檚 more than one way to end the story,听

And if we鈥檙e on His side, then they all end in Glory.听

(printed with permission of Julia Loveless)听

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Music.听听

Yet not I but through Christ in me听

听Keith & Kristyn Getty,

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Intercessions and Lord鈥檚 prayer music runs under

J.S. Bach: Sonata for Violin Solo No. 3 in C Major, BWV 1005 - 3. Largo

Arthur Grumiaux

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Heavenly Father, thank you that in you we find a love far greater than our experience of human love shows us. Thank you that we are be-LOVED, that you cared so much for us that you came to show us that we are not alone whatever our situation. Help us to hold on to that reminder in the good and the bad times.听

Lord in your mercy Hear our prayer听

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We pray for all who are struggling with their marital or relationship status today. For those in abusive relationships who need to get away. And For those who are lonely, for those wondering about the future of their relationship, those longing to meet someone, those longing for children, those confused and hurting. Lord Jesus, would you meet them in their need this day. Bring them comfort and peace and help them to know your presence.听听

Lord in your mercy hear our prayer听

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Today is Racial justice Sunday and so we pray - Merciful God,听

you are righteous and love justice:听

stir the hearts of your people that,听

rejoicing in our diversity,听

we may repent of the wrongs of the past,听

and, by your grace, seek the peaceable kingdom of your Son,听

our Saviour Jesus Christ听

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Lord in your mercy hear our prayer听

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Finally, we pray for the world, where there is unrest please bring your peace and justice, where there is hurt, sickness or mental distress, bring healing, where there is confusion bring calm. May your Holy Spirit equip and guide your people wherever we may find ourselves.听听

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Lord in your mercy Hear our prayer听

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Let鈥檚 bring our prayers together in the words Jesus gave us听

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LORD鈥檚 PRAYER听

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Music

Music 听Take my life and let it be听 Geraldine Latty

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Link 12听听 BLESSING听

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God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love,听

defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace;听

and the blessing of God almighty,听

the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,听

be among you and remain with you always.听

鈥�舛寞Amen.听

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Todays service was led by the Rev鈥檇 Eleanor Jeans.听 The producer was Carmel Lonergan.