大象传媒

I haven't heard her voice in over a year. She died October 29, 2005 in her apple-green house back home in Massachusetts. A few minutes before she died I swear I heard her whisper to me, "Sit with me - you won't see me in this life again." She wasn't afraid. She did not fight death. She lay there thinking mostly of the rest of us. Earlier that day she had gasped out to my Aunt Deb, "I'm all right. I'm going home to be with Mama now." And that's exactly what she did.

The other day I received a package from my grandmother-in-law. It contained several of mom's Christmas decorations. Mom loved Christmas! She always decorated the entire house and filled the tree with zillions of ornaments. She would pinch and scrimp so that she could drown us in presents.

Today I hung the decorations on our tree. As I stood there alone in the livingroom and hung up each of her hand-painted ceramic ornaments I remembered all of the Christmases I had spent at home. I never knew that mom's time was so limited. I thought that she would be here for a long, long time and that we'd spend many Christmases together. But my mama went home to be with her mama at the age of 47. She wasn't around very long. I only had her for thrity short years. Strangely enough mom lost her mom when she was thirty. I feel bad for my two sisters - they only had her for 22 and 24 years. At least I had 30.

And now all I have of her for Christmas are a few ornaments. I'm glad I have the ornaments but I'd much rather have mom.