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Ilkeston Town's Manor Ground proudly hosts the much un-coveted Nationwide Trophy; awarded to the worst schoolboy football team in the country.

The Garthorpe Canaries - yet to win a match - meet the Knights Templar of Coventry, who have identified fitness as the key to ending their own abysmal run of form.

From the marvelously forthright and pragmatic team talks ("no laying down when the ball goes in the net... you're wasting time" and "We've been beaten time after time after time after time..." ), via a cameo pep-talk from England manager Don Revie, and a stilt-walker falling over, to a goalkeeper nonchalantly scratching his bum - this clip has a bit of everything.

´óÏó´«Ã½ Archive: This clip from Nationwide was