´óÏó´«Ã½

« Previous | Main | Next »

How To Destroy...Girls Aloud

Post categories:

Fraser McAlpine | 18:06 UK time, Tuesday, 21 August 2007

How To Destroy Girls Aloud

NOTE: This is a nasty, nasty thing to do. It's worse than throwing up on Kate Nash's trainers and then putting holes in Rihanna's umbrella and then spilling ketchup on Plain White Ts' plain white T. So, the kind of circumstance which would make this OK would have to involve a full moon, most of the band turning into werewolves or zombies, Sarah being a vampire and someone mistakenly calling Cheryl Cole 'Lily'. That's the ONLY circumstance in which it would be alright to tip cack all over them.

Oh, and don't ask too many questions about what's in the bin. You REALLY don't wanna know...

How To Destroy Other Pop Stars....

Now, I REALLY can't take any credit/abuse for the inspiration behind this beautiful little tableau. It came about as the result of a conversation between regular ChartBlog readers Kerri and PBG (whose real name is Rachel). And they very kindly sent me a blueprint for how it should go.

Kerri's How To Destroy Girls Aloud

and this is PBG's go at it...

Rachel's How To Destroy Girls Aloud

BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE, PEOPLE...

Comments

  1. At 07:52 PM on 21 Aug 2007, wrote:

    hey! you chopped off the D from aloud.. maybe you should stick it to a hat.. DUNCE :P

    other than that im very happy. your version rocks! i wish i was as good as you with computers :( .. opps i said i was happy :D the crickets going good too, cooky and belly got centuries (even though it is one day cricket which isnt as good as test matches but ohwell, i cant complain)

    [Ah yes, I did mess that up a bit, didn't I? All fixed now. - Fraser]

  2. At 11:14 AM on 22 Aug 2007, wrote:

    Hiya! your version is awesome! I can't believe how bad I am with computers. I mean, I single-handedly WRECKED my grandads computer one time.....it was kinda funny actually. Oh well, I'm better with computers than I am with guitars lol.
    Rachel
    xxxxx

  3. At 12:12 AM on 23 Aug 2007, Hazel R wrote:

    Where are all the mad fans demanding that you DON'T DO THAT TO GIRLS ALOUD THAT IS SO NOT FUNNY? :(

    Maybe it is just that the Chemistry cover needs destroying really.

  4. At 12:41 PM on 23 Aug 2007, Sev wrote:

    OMIGOD !!! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT !!! HOW COULD YOU WANT TO DESTROY GIRLS ALOUD !!!
    Just kidding, this is just to satisfy Hazel R !
    Come on mad fans, PROTEST !!! lol

  5. At 04:12 PM on 23 Aug 2007, Jenny (Kerri's mum!) wrote:

    That is definitely EWW! After living and working on a farm all my life I know the difference between cold tea and pooh. That is NOT tea.

    [Can I just say that my favourite sentence of all time is now "After living and working on a farm all my life I know the difference between cold tea and poo." - Fraser]

  6. At 03:01 AM on 24 Aug 2007, LUCA BETOLINI wrote:

    F*** GIRLS ALOUD.....................NO TALENT............

    [And they say the art of debate is a dying skill... - Fraser]

  7. At 01:48 PM on 24 Aug 2007, Leanne wrote:

    Aww thanks so much for doing a Girls Aloud 'How to destroy . .'. Its truly has made my day. I really like the 'Something Kinda eww' version aswell.

    It seems like everyones a winner since this blog hasn't been mobbed by the Girls Aloud street team (if there is one . .)

  8. At 04:23 PM on 26 Aug 2007, laura patterson wrote:

    girls aloud are my favourite girl group
    and i dont went them to get chocolate all of there
    pictures on the chart blog and i dont like what you are doing to girls aloud i dont like when you
    mix up the words in there songs and i dont like it when you are messing about with girls aloud it
    not write to pour things on girls aloud black outfits and on there cd cover you are making a mess on the girls aloud cover chemistry
    it is not write to change the words in there songs
    its is not good to pour things over girls aloud it
    is not good to put rude words on there pictures
    and i dont like it when you make rude comments on girls aloud and it is not very nice to
    put rude words on the girls aloud pictures.
    above and i dont like rude words you are putting
    on there pictures it will make me sad if you do
    put silly words on there pictures above.

    [Well, that's me told... - Fraser]

  9. At 07:05 PM on 26 Aug 2007, craig mc wrote:

    To your bloggers Rachel and Kerri, one comment - careful girls, it takes cack to know cack! So we can safely say your thinking comprises pure cack! As for DESTROYING Girls Aloud, I believe they consider themselves INDESTRUCTIBLE, so they won't give a cack about your cack spreading. Probs flick a finger to the world (cack) below lol.

  10. At 02:55 PM on 27 Aug 2007, wrote:

    i wouldnt say my thinking is pure cack, only that the idea came from something kinda ohh and i though it would sound good if they were destroyed with something kinda eww. i also came up with destroying green day with their american idiot granades and timbaland with a timberland shoe.. i just thought of it 'cus its using something related to the artists.

    and i think GA would give a cack.. it might ruin their hair! or get under their nails.. SHOCK HORROR, its the end of their world! :P

  11. At 03:02 PM on 27 Aug 2007, wrote:

    To craig mc: Thanks alot. Your confusing comment has now completely confused me. My brain is a pile of mush today because i'm having a blonde moment day (I'm not being offensive to blondes, its just thats what everyone calls them and i can't think of a non-offensive phrase) and I'm being really divvy. And girls aloud would give a cack, because being covered in poo isn't very nice and the stains would be awfully hard to get off their barely-there clothes. So nyah.
    Rachel
    xxxxx

  12. At 04:40 PM on 27 Aug 2007, wrote:

    whoa wait a minute u cannot do that to Girls Aloud, that is not FUNNY

    putting the "Something Kinda Ewww" totally ruins the fab pics of Girls Aloud

  13. At 05:07 PM on 27 Aug 2007, nonaurbuisness wrote:

    dats quite good but nt funny

    n lmao 2 some of ur comments. alot of saaaad ppl on ea!

  14. At 06:19 PM on 27 Aug 2007, craig mc wrote:

    O Rachel (pbg) you just proved my point lol! How would you know what it feels and smells like to be covered in cack? Tell you what, when Kerri and you have covered GA in your poo, will you send them up North to my Uni, the lads here would love to clean them up afterwards?. Send especially that gorgeous Kimba Walsh, and the Chez Tweedy pie. So no harm done then eh girls?!

  15. At 09:06 PM on 28 Aug 2007, wrote:

    "covered GA in your poo"

    now thats going too far!! no one metioned whos poo it was! and anyway, its fraser who is spreading the poo, we used gunge.. unless you have bright green poo in which case i think you need to see a doctor!

  16. At 06:08 PM on 29 Aug 2007, wrote:

    You are basically presenting yourself like a moron grow up bitch blogger shut up or die

    [Wow, that's the rudest 'Things To Do' list I've ever read. Well done! - Fraser]

  17. At 11:29 PM on 01 Sep 2007, wrote:

    You tell 'im Kerri! YOU CROSSED THE LINE MR! And I don't what what it feels like to be covered in poo, but I can imagine it wouldn't be nice so therefore they would give a cack. Ah....it isn't a good day without having an argument with someone on chartblog :)
    Rachel

    and p.s: just call me pbg. there is more than one rachel, and i hate the name rachel. thanks.

  18. At 07:37 PM on 02 Sep 2007, ~Rachel~ wrote:

    It's the (or one of the) other Rachel(s), here, Rachel. You don't like your name? But you've started putting it at the bottom of your postings, which you weren't doing for a while,...PPG!

    I'm just delirious now, after long day of work, and am hungry, so this may not make sense, or may not have been worth putting up...but it's very relevant to anyone with our name, eh,...PPG?

    Girls Aloud would probably NOT like being covered with poo - it would be a good interview question for them, though, since the debate has started!

  19. At 11:57 PM on 02 Sep 2007, MELISSA wrote:

    HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO THE BEST GIRL GROUP IN THE UK.. I WONT BE COMING ON THIS SITE AGAIN!

    btw nadine is fit!

  20. At 08:17 PM on 03 Sep 2007, Simon Cottrell wrote:

    Just noticed your "How to destroy Girls Aloud" item and thouight that I would drop you a couple of lines relating to the girls.

    I visited friend who live in Cornwall at the begining of August and purchased 3 tickets fir the Girls Aloud concert plannd for 1th August in plymouth. Before you ask the tickets were for my wife and two duaghters. At the begining of August the concert was cancelled by the promoters (Edge Promotions) as the ceased trading due to poor ticket sales, they would have lost money if the concert had gone ahead as Girls Aloud were Paid an upfont, non-returnable fee of £75, 000.

    I have been unable to contact the promoter, and am unable to find a way of contacting the girls as i would like to know if they are making arrangements to refund "Their Fans" out of their NON-REFUNDABLE FEE.

    Would really appreciate it if you could find some way of passing this on as I am sure some of the other 4500 ticket holders would like their money back.

    p.s. Long live R1,

    Yours
    Simon Cottrell

  21. At 01:55 PM on 04 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Yeah Rachel, you do make sense. I've been putting my name at the bottom cos my mate came on this site a few days ago and was saying to me 'I wonder who PBG is?' so I've been putting it there so my mate knows it was me. I did tell her I was using PBG, but I guess she forgot. Meh, oh well. I spose now she knows its me I can stop putting my name at the bottom...thanks for reminding me!
    Rachel
    xxxxx

  22. At 05:45 PM on 04 Sep 2007, wrote:

    OMG this is genius!
    I hate girls aloud
    thank god
    it needed to be done people
    xx

  23. At 02:49 AM on 05 Sep 2007, Sarahdine wrote:

    You are so mean, how could you do that to Girls Aloud? Why are you trying to pull them down? Are you jealous or mad at them?

  24. At 07:51 AM on 05 Sep 2007, wrote:

    how very rude girls aloud are amzing i do belive your coments are sexy NO NO NO! thnk you!

  25. At 05:40 PM on 05 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Kudos to Kerri and PBG (can you please tell me what that stands for as I am intrigued) for an excellent 'how to destroy' and well done to Fraser for his computer wizadry that bought it to life.

    Kerri, I'd like to see some more of your 'how to destroy's' as it appears you has some good ideas. Maybe you could set up your own 'how to destroy' site as a rival to this one. . . unless Chart Blog have patent pended it or something?

  26. At 08:52 PM on 05 Sep 2007, wrote:

    my parents said that i should start charging CB for displaying my ideas.. but i thought it was cheeky to mention it :P

    and it would be great to set up my own site, but the problem would be that although i have the ideas i have neither the computer knowledge nor ability to bring them to life unlike fraser

    thanks jamie btw

  27. At 11:49 AM on 06 Sep 2007, wrote:

    No probs Kerri. I wish I could say: 'I'll go into business with you, you come up with the ideas and then I'll turn them into reality'. Unfortuntely, I to do not posess the computer skills or ability to do this. I'd be a pretty lousy business partner tbh.

    I can make a mean cuppa though, however I don't think this skill will get me far in the cut throat world of the computer industry.

  28. At 11:55 AM on 06 Sep 2007, misterpete wrote:

    Oh dear.

  29. At 11:59 AM on 06 Sep 2007, wrote:

    No probs Kerri. I wish I could say: 'I'll go into business with you, you come up with the ideas and then I'll turn them into reality'. Unfortuntely, I to do not posess the computer skills or ability to do this. I'd be a pretty lousy business partner tbh.

    I can make a mean cuppa though, however I don't think this skill will get me far in the cut throat world of the computer industry.

  30. At 01:20 PM on 06 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Oh dear indeed Mister Pete. Looks like those Gremlins have very kindly posted my comment twice.

  31. At 06:08 PM on 06 Sep 2007, wrote:

    To Jamie:
    Thanks for asking. No one seems to be interested in knowing :)
    It stands for Princess Bob Gravy.....my nickname :) There are too many Rachel's on this so I use PBG to avoid confusion. And I don't think Princess Bob Gravy fits in the name box which is a bit of a bummer. Meh, oh well. Anyway, see ya people!

  32. At 07:42 PM on 06 Sep 2007, wrote:

    GOLBINS jamie GOBLINS! not gremlins :P

  33. At 10:00 AM on 07 Sep 2007, wrote:

    Goblins, Gremlins. You say potato, I say potato (doesn't really work when it's typed does it?)

    I'm sorry Kerri, I hope the Goblins aren't offended!

  34. At 10:30 AM on 08 Sep 2007, wrote:

    To Kerri:

    Goblins, Gremlins. . . you say tomato, I say tomato. (Doesn't really worked when typed.) I just hope the Goblins aren't offended. Like when you assume a Canadian is American cz of there accent.

    To Princess Bob Gravy:

    I must admit it's abit of a random nickname, but you know. . . whatever lights your candle and all that. How does a nickname like that come about?

    If I ever refer to you in a comment, I will always use your full name.

  35. At 11:36 AM on 08 Sep 2007, wrote:

    aaaahhh I look like a right idiot now! I posted that first comment years ago (yesterday) and it never came up so I assumed it had been stolen by those pesky 'goblins'.

    Now it turns up, after I've basically duplicated it another comment. Grr!

  36. At 03:08 PM on 08 Sep 2007, wrote:

    usually who cares but on CB its goblins.. and i think you did offend them.. if they keep stealing your comments and feeding them to their babies then we can be sure. you see theyre purposely making you look like an idiot

  37. At 02:16 PM on 09 Sep 2007, wrote:

    To Jamie:
    You want to know how my nickname got made up? Well, in my class we kinda are obsessed with the name bob (cause its so random ya see) and my friend decided I should be called princess bob cause it sounded kinda catchy. So i was making nicknames up for everyone, and I decided Fraser here should be Fraymond (as that is also random). He the decided I should be called Gravy, but cause I already had a nickname of princess bob I added Gravy to the end....and hurrah! PBG is born.
    Sorry about the really long-winded explanation....its sort of necessary though. Well....guess I gotta go and annoy some random person on my msn contact list :)
    xxxxx

  38. At 01:18 PM on 10 Sep 2007, wrote:

    To Kerri:

    Do you think if I apologised they would stop stealing my comments, or are they not forgiving creatures?

    To Princess Bob Gravy:

    I see! All the best nicknames have a nice story to them. . . or a completely random one like yours. Haha!

  39. At 07:43 PM on 10 Sep 2007, wrote:

    oh i dont know about that.. maybe look them up in some wierd technological nature book if such thing exists.

  40. At 10:17 AM on 12 Sep 2007, wrote:

    I shall ring my local library and see if such a thing exists.

This post is closed to new comments.

´óÏó´«Ã½ iD

´óÏó´«Ã½ navigation

´óÏó´«Ã½ © 2014 The ´óÏó´«Ã½ is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.