The ChartBlog Slightly Annoying Email Questionnaire: Cut Off Your Hands
How I love this questionnaire. It's not just that the questions are smart-alecky, although that's fun, it's also that there is loads of opportunity here for the people answering them to indulge themselves, have a bit of fun, relax and generally get creative with a process which must bore them rigid - namely doing interviews.
Why else would the first questions make it so clear that you don't have to tell the truth about where you really are and what you're doing. It's like a public service we're offering here, y'know?
And does anyone take advantage of it? No, they do not. They bristle, they act confused, they pretend to be illiterate (thank God for the ChartBlog Spell-Ulator, is all I'm saying), and they act like it's a chore.
So, will Nick, the impossibly-cheekboned singer with up 'n' coming Antipodean jerkypop band Cut Off Your Hands break the pattern and come up with some wild flights of fancy, some astonishing insights into his fascinating personality and some amazingly witty one-liners?
Er...you'd best come and look...
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QUESTION 1: Where are you (as this is email, feel free to lie if you are somewhere dull)?
NICK: In my room at the hotel Franc in Chiba, Tokyo.
QUESTION 2: What are you doing (see question 1)?
NICK: Only just checked in, and found there's a free wireless, plus I'm eating a fruit bowl the record label here sent me as a gift.
QUESTION 3: Tell us all about your new product...
NICK: There isn't one yet, I think a single is coming out soon.
QUESTION 4: How long did it take you to type the answer to question 3?
NICK: 30 seconds.
QUESTION 5: Really? Did it require any specialist training?
NICK: No, but I'm not sure if answered it properly though!
QUESTION 6: Are you looking forward to a future where computers can just read your brainwaves rather than expecting you to use a keypad?
NICK: Yes.
QUESTION 7: What would you like to be wearing right now?
NICK: I'm just in undies, but I'd quite like to take those off as its boiling hot, must be well into the late 30's.
QUESTION 8: And what are you actually wearing?
NICK: Just undies.
QUESTION 9: What would you like the next person you see to be wearing?
NICK: Just undies.
QUESTION 10: Why do you think Donald Duck wears a tunic but no trousers?
NICK: How can Scrooge swim in money?
QUESTION 11: What musical training do you have? Do you play any interesting instruments?
NICK: I'm self taught, how interesting do you mean? I play the clarinet and french horn as well, will those do?
QUESTION 12: If you and your most musical mates all had your instruments in front of you right now, but were instructed to play a song, any song, right now without conferring, what would it be?
NICK: 'With You' by Chris Brown.
QUESTION 13: Now be honest, did you cheat on question 12?
NICK: Yes.
QUESTION 14: What was the last thing you posted on your own message board?
NICK: What's a message board?
QUESTION 15: That's nice...
NICK: [left blank]
QUESTION 16: Does this little bit of admin make you yearn for a simpler life without personal assistants?
NICK: I'd quite like a PA...
QUESTION 17: One of the answers to these questions won't be interesting enough. Which one would you like to change?
NICK: This one.
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Here's the video for the new Cut Off Your Hands song 'Expectations', which is out on August 18th. You would think he'd have mentioned it, wouldn't you?
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Previous ChartBlog Annoying Email Questionnaire victims:
The Subways
Go:Audio
Alphabeat
Tokio Hotel
Princess Superstar
The Sounds
Sadie Ama
Comment number 1.
At 12th Aug 2008, Alice_the_goldfish_ wrote:Well...it's almost interesting?
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)