Old News Corner
Hey, want to make your dad either laugh hysterically or cry? Read this sentence to him...
John Lydon has signed up to be the new face of Country Life butter.
This doesn't mean they are actually making his face out of butter, although that might be worth considering, it just means that he will be in their adverts for a bit.
That's John Lydon, former Johnny Rotten, part-time Sex Pistol, former ostrich befriender, shouter at Kele from Bloc Party, and man who started punk rock.
If anyone is going to be able to convince the nation that Lurpak is evil, Flora is boring and margarine is made of powdered kittens, it's him, right?
The real fun comes when you read the press release that Country Life put out to announce their punky signing.
It says: "We don't think enough people know Country Life is the only major British butter brand and John gets the message through loud and clear."
Presumably with the aid of a flip-chart and some pointing...
"He is seen as a great British icon. His independent views are part of his consumer appeal and his tongue-in-cheek sense of humour shines through in our TV advertising."
Have you ever seen a sentence more depressing than "his independent views are part of his consumer appeal"? Does that not just suck all the fun out of whatever contrary stance Old Man Rotten might find himself taking about anything ever again?
It won't matter if he is right or wrong, we'll all know he's just doing it because he knows his independent views are part of his consumer appeal. He doesn't mean it, maaaan...
And it's not even as if anyone still thinks he's the remotest bit dangerous any more anyway. Well...maybe some people do...
"Hey John, you're a rebel, you're anti-authority, you take no prisoners and you don't suffer fools glady and I am totally down with that, guy. And so are our customers. So if you could just hop into this butter-man suit - mind the cape! - and point at this Union Jack, yeah? Good lad..."
Meanwhile, Metallica have stopped an interview with a journalist who admitted to downloading a copy of their new album from a BitTorrent site. The writer was trying to make the point that he preferred his version of 'Death Magnetic', which contained earlier mixes and edits made by the person who uploaded it to the web, to the one the band eventually released. No-one comes of the situation looking good, it's fair to say.
And Robbie Williams has split from his girlfriend because he is concentrating too hard on his new music. This could be good news or bad news, depending on whether or not you like Robbie Williams, his music, his girlfriend or finding out about people who have split up.
I think that's about it from the world of old people for now. Tune in next time and hear Van Morrison say 'bum', for Bisto.
TTFN!
Comment number 1.
At 17th Sep 2008, BettyHur wrote:Wouldn't it have been more complimentary to have had him smiling on some high class cheddar cheese, just to keep the customers on their toes to check whether it was still fresh, and check that there was no mould.
'Say cheese please!'
Complain about this comment (Comment number 1)
Comment number 2.
At 17th Sep 2008, Brianonthecam wrote:Hilarious! But what on earth were Country Life Butter thinking? We'll get that nice Mr. Lydon in to gob at the camera. He's not exactly the type you'd associate with "butter wouldn't melt .." as it clearly would and indeed, he would gob. Well...just so long as he doesn't do it during the making. And, Julian dear, do, do keep him away from the cattle.
Complain about this comment (Comment number 2)
Comment number 3.
At 18th Sep 2008, badger-parade wrote:HAHAHA! John Lydon... architypal hypocrite and media manipulator, finally nailing his colours to the mast. As scary as the latest Coldplay cd and equally as relevant.
Grab the money while you can John, your time is up!
Complain about this comment (Comment number 3)