Beyoncé - 'If I Were A Boy'
Yikes! We all know that Beyoncé likes to sing about rubbish boyfriends, but she's gone a little deeper than usual this time. Instead of taking her man down one flaw at a time, as she did with the song about the man who doesn't pay his way, or the one about the man who has to move out, or the song about the cheating man who has to say her name on the phone, she's going psychological.
It's a bit like CSI: Beyoncé, she has to try and get into the mind of a man, to find out why they are all such a bunch of hopeless, careless, lying, cheating vermin. And in order to do this, she examines every little thing that a man does, to see if essential clues are hidden in seemingly meaningless behaviour patterns.
(Here's exhibit A, )
So, it begins with an examination of how men tend to live their lives. We're sloppy creatures, by and large, tending to run in packs, drinking beer and chasing girls. We play fast and loose with our mobile communication devices, to throw snooping girlfriends off the scent when we're sleeping around. And we don't know what it feels like to be the girl who has been forced into checking up on her own fella.
And to really emphasise this last point, Beyoncé sings the melody a whole octave higher, pushing her voice into a thin, pleading whine. It's exactly the same trick that Johnny Borrell uses on 'Wire To Wire', and while not as detrimental to the ear-drum, it still manages to uncover a reedy squeak to her voice which is perhaps not as amazing as it could be.
There again, that's the really emotional bit, so maybe it's been done on purpose, as a kind of musical method acting thing.
In the end, Beyoncé's experiment with gender roles teaches us that men are rubbish sexdogs, and that women have all the feelings. And seeing as the song is clearly from the point of view of a broken-hearted girl, who am I to argue?
Mind you, if we're dealing in gross stereotypes, maybe if Beyoncé did spend a day as a boy she might buy fewer cushions, or spend less of her day thinking about shoes, or worry less about the way her body looks, or even learn how to operate hand tools. This experiment doesn't have to be all about bad men, why it could have positive benefits for all mankind humankind!
*hides*
Download: Out now
CD Released: November 10th
(Fraser McAlpine)
Comment number 1.
At 6th Nov 2008, mike-duke wrote:If there was ever a song designed for Lyriscope, surely this is it
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Comment number 2.
At 6th Nov 2008, Fraser McAlpine - wrote:I shall get the team onto it right away...
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Comment number 3.
At 16th Nov 2008, Ollyhs wrote:I am currently lying in bed with severe back pain, and although I actually quite like Beyonce, your review just made me laugh and then cry. Cry, because of the back pain, but man, that was funny - should have had a health warning on it!!!
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