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YOU KNOW WHEN YOU KNOW, DON鈥橳 YOU ?

Chris Evans | 14:04 UK time, Monday, 23 October 2006

Hello there everyone.


A wholesome and heartsome weekend had I and what of you ?


Mummy Evans was bang on form with the stew again this weekend. My friends now flock to the door of the 鈥淕reat One鈥 to taste some of the legendary faire. The ones who have never had it before nearly pass out when they cnsume their first mouthful. It is truly astounding and she loves the fact that we all love it.

It鈥檚 made from a magic chicken鈥

...It鈥檚 magic because this is what happened to the last chicken my mum bought.

She initially made three chicken dinners out of it for her self, my nephew and his girlfriend. She then made some chicken butties (with stuffing) for her and my sister to have when they went for a drive to Brighton. She wrapped the legs and wings up for me and a pal to have at golf and then, and then ! she got to work on the real task at hand, the legendary chicken stew, simply made from the carcass and a few secret spells she won鈥檛 tell anyone. This went on to feed a further six people. I mean how far can a chicken go and all this for only 拢3.29.

The more the days tick by, the more I love her being around, I so don鈥檛 want her to not be there anymore. She鈥檚 eighty one now but I swear she鈥檚 looking younger and healthier than she has for years. She joked yesterday that there was no getting rid of her yet, she said she鈥檚 gonna breeze to ninety no probs. I pray this is the case.

I've thought about her passing away, along with my own mortality, I think it's important.

The Dalai Lama says that if one was to invite people round for dinner and leave everything to the last minute, then one would have a torrid time, panicking and sweating and stressing out. Yet if one organises things calmly, the dinner is cooked well and with love and in a relaxed atmosphere, the right lighting is selected, an interesting mix of people invited, it鈥檚 a good bet everyone will have a more relaxed and happier time. He then goes on to say, why should death be any different ?

So many people know death is coming and choose not to think about, hoping it will just go away, yet this very action causes them to threat about it constantly. Depression is often linked to a fear of death. A feeling of, I can鈥檛 bare to think about what it鈥檚 going to be like, so please let鈥檚 just let's get it over The fear of losing one鈥檚 life ironically often sucks out any enjoyment one might procure from it. Think about death, accept it and then when it knocks on your door make sure you are ready with your bags packed full of all the things you wanted to take away from this life with you.

So many peoples鈥 lives are taken away from them prematurely, it鈥檚 our job to make sure we squeeze every drop of experience and love out of ours. Not living for the moment, this can often be misinterpreted but more living for the good. Just being a good person. There is no downside to this way of living; it makes one feel warm and decent.

On Saturday a friend of lots of us at Radio 2 passed away, a good few years before his time, he was as good as they get. Very reliable, very loyal, good energy and a naughty twinkle in his eye. It鈥檚 the twinkle I can see now and though we will all miss him, he鈥檚 still making me smile. It鈥檚 like he鈥檚 still here.

x.

P.S. Just read you lot on Friday. S*^t, the girl on the sofa, the chat ! Well we did have it and it was indeed serious but turned out to be very fruitful, that's all I can say.

P.P.S. Looking forward to some more sofa guests this week.

P.P.P.S. What mus have it been like for Michael Schumaker taking that final bend for the final time, weird, maybe he'd prepared himself for it many times before.

Comments

  1. At 02:18 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Robb of the East Cliff wrote:

    1st ?

  2. At 02:18 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Sir Terry played a whole show of tunes for Paul this morning, and a good laugh was had by all too - not a sombre affair.

    I agree. No use getting to the end of the line and having all of those regrets.

    My house needs loads of maintenance as it's getting old and crumbly, and I used to sit and stress about it and deny myself any fun, cos I didn't deserve to have fun while the house needed fixing.

    Now I try and strike a balance and enjoy my hobbies and also do a little bit of work on the house when I can afford it.

    I used to be a dab hand with the magic chicken too - am I right in thinking that your Mum is a merseyside girl? It's taught to us at an early age up there. Waste not, want not. :o)

    Jan x

  3. At 02:19 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Good Afternoon Chris (and all !!)

    Can you read minds ? This is all I have thought of all weekend ... No, not your Mums chicken (!!) the other stuff....

    I`m off to the Doctors at 5.40 this afternoon to start the process of finding out if whats wrong is the big C or something less scary and less sinister. I have thought of nothing but all weekend. I admit at the moment I am rather scared as do not know what lies ahead. We shall see....

    I don`t want to go anywhere for a good while yet. I know I was put here to make a difference and I haven`t made enough of a difference yet...

    Like I said before, everything has a reason or a season - today you have a reason for me ... Your post is great :) Thanks :)

    I hope you had a great weekend and that your "chat" went well !

    Have a good one one and all x x

  4. At 02:20 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Ian wrote:

    Another brilliant blog.

    Pauly was a friend to every listener to this station, and has bowed out way before his time.

    A Great Man, he will be missed more than even he could ever know.

    Terry's show this morning was moving, amusing, poinent and so much more, but it was an amazing tribute.

    My thoughts are with everyone who worked with Paul, and especially his family.

  5. At 02:21 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Joannie (Toronto) wrote:

    Good morning (or afternoon) Chris,
    How right you are about our collective 'mams' - mine died 8 years ago so I miss her a lot. Funny thing, my dad always thought he would go first - he has always smoked, liked a drink etc. My mam died suddenly at 77 - and my dad.....he turns 90 this week and hence my visit to see him. You never know when your number is up and yes, you have to squeeze all you can out of this thing called life.
    Talking about your mother's cooking....I have always had an open door policy at my house on Saturday and Sundays for the friends of my two kids....I cooked brunch for whoever wanted to come - sometimes 4 - sometimes 12....what fun we had. They always say what a great time it was, nothing like it, I get to spend time with my kids, and enjoy their friends too. It is important to know who your kids hang around with. The only stipulation (and we all loved it) is that we listened to Abba while eating our brunch...so 'our' song is of course Dancing Queen - and you can bet when either of my kids get married, that will be on the play list!!! Both my kids are at Uni now but whenever they are home, the brunch is still served for whoever wants it.
    Enjoy your mum....awwwwwww - makes me miss mine reading your blog (not that I dont miss her anyway but you know what I mean).... You sound like a cool son too - just like mine, I love em to bits and the best part, we laugh a lot - can't beat it. I must have done something right :-)
    Have a good day y'all.
    Joannie xxxx
    6 more sleeps till I come to see my Dad

  6. At 02:22 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Afternoon Christophe

    Well said about the good Doctor.

    Will try and be more organised in life and hopefully then, when it comes, death will be the same.

    Sally

    P.S. Found the house by the sea at the weekend - couldn't believe it when you read out my text ! S xx

  7. At 02:23 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Penguin wrote:

    Wow Chris - big stuff today.

    My Mum died four years ago and she still makes me smile. I haven't quite got over the - 'oh Mum will love that' and I hope I never do. You are quite right about living life for the good; it does make you feel good about yourself and decent. That can't be a bad thing, self esteem is such an important part of ourselves and lack of it can lead to such damage. You've inspired me now.

    Ciao

    xx

  8. At 02:24 PM on 23 Oct 2006, soozy woo wrote:

    My weekend was lovely - hope everyone elses was too.

    Living in the Peak District is just the best! It was probably the last decent weather for the rest of the year so we went to our favourite "pub with a view".

    The vastness of the views and the amazing number if different shades and colours in our landscape really makes you appreciate how lucky you are to have all that you have.

    How can people fear what comes after this life? This is just the first course after all. I'm looking forward to what's for mains and pud! (by the sounds of it - I should be hoping it's all gonna be cooked up by your mum Chris!)

    Keep smiling

    SWxxx

  9. At 02:25 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Andy wrote:

    If you missed Wogan's show this morning that was dedicated to Dr Wally then you should listen to the archive on the web before it's too late. Lots of great music and the Irish know how to enjoy themselves at a wake!

  10. At 02:26 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Jennie (from the blog) wrote:

    We will all miss pauly very much - he was a true legend.

  11. At 02:26 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi CLP

    I cooked stew for my friends at the weekend - one freaked out because I used chopped tomatoes but later admitted that it was delicious, just different to what he usually has! To find out about the rest of my weekend adventures you'll have to visit my blog!

    Loosing a friend is always hard - my condolences. My mum died 2 days after my 31st birthday when she was 61. It was very sudden and unexpected but one thing that has made life easier since is the fact that we had talked about death - both her's and mine. Knowing what she felt, her wishes and motivations has made the time since her death a little easier and given me some peace - even in the darkest moments.

    I'm now in the process of adopting - as part of this process I have to arrange guardians incase I ever become unable to parent. It's not easy to talk about death but it does bring peace of mind and (in my experience) reassurance if the worst happens.

    Sorry to be so glummy on a Monday - but it's made such a diffence to me.

    Best of luck,
    Kate

  12. At 02:26 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Robb of the East Cliff wrote:

    Oh Chris what a sadish Blog, everyone passes one day and your right its our duty to enjoy every part of it as best we can

    What we leave behind is equally important, my kids take care of that

    Keep Smiling mate

    Robb

  13. At 02:27 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Amanda wrote:

    Chris

    Sorry to hear about your loss Chris, it's not nice when someone wonderful goes. However, we should all use that opportunity to grab hold of the life we have and shake it like mad.

    Life is for living and as my old Nan used to say 'You're a long time dead!'

    Amanda

  14. At 02:29 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Jo wrote:

    I agree wholeheartedley with what you say about wringing every drop of life out of your years. My grandma is a great testament to that, she's just moving house (at age 84, I think) to a flat above hers so that when she can't get out and about as much (ie drive down to the seafront) she'll still have things to look at out of the window.

    Aside from that she is one of these women who can't help but make you laugh (I once heard her remark, on hearing one of cousins mention the 'C' word by mistake 'well at least she didn't say cl****is'! On the subject of death she has always said that when the time comes she wants to be sat on her sofa with her thumbs up, hoping for the best!

    She also has threatened to cut me out of the will for asking if she's alright (me, on greeting her saying alright grandma?), so now I say alright old lady instead!

    She has her will sorted (I don't know whether I'm in it!) and power of attourneuys sorted for when she's all addled in the head, a plan of action at least for when the time comes - I wish I was like her - I wish she would stay around for ever so that dshe can teach my children to climb trees and build tree houses, make jam tarts and how to put golden syrup on your porridge, just like she taught me!

    All hail old people who say yah boo sucks and thumb their noses to ageing!

    :o) Jo

  15. At 02:30 PM on 23 Oct 2006, J wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Your words touched a nerve today. There's no-one like your mum. I wish mine was still with us. Just make sure you see her as much as you can and enjoy the chicken stews and all that goes with it.

    Love the show. x

  16. At 02:31 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Christiaan wrote:

    Great post again today Chris. I have to say your mum's stew sounds wonderful. We've just started making stew for our little boy, who is 18 months old and absolutely loves them.

    The subject of death is always difficult to think about, but if we accept it's inevitable, it's easier to deal with. I think the trouble with most of us that we simply avoid thinking about it at all. I like Stephen Covey's approach to living, which in a way is similar to your quote from the Dalia Lama - "Begin with the end in Mind". What he's basically saying is think about your own funeral and what you would like those who knew you in life to be thinking. For example, most of us would like our children to think we were a loving, caring and fun parent who was patient and tolerant with them.

    If we think of things in this way, it gives us a template for living a full and enjoyable life which has a positive impact on others.

  17. At 02:32 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Joannie (Toronto) wrote:

    Hi again,
    I forgot to mention to MANDY # 91 yesterday...you were asking about books. Helpful books about being in the present moment is John Kabat-Zinn, he has written a few books ;
    Wherever You Go - There You Are
    Coming To Our Senses
    Full Catastrophe Living
    He did research is all about living in the moment and started Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction through meditation.

    Here is a quote from the internet :
    Perhaps no other person has done more to bring mindfulness meditation into the contemporary landscape of America than Jon Kabat-Zinn. Through a number of research studies, and through Kabat-Zinn鈥檚 pioneering work at the University of Massachusetts Medical School where he is founder of its world-renowned Stress Reduction Clinic, mindfulness is finally being recognized as a highly effective tool for dealing with stress, chronic pain, and other illnesses.

    Fascinating stuff.
    Enjoy
    Joannie x

    PS - CHRIS - WHAT WAS THE CHAT ABOUT PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE US ALL IN SUSPENDERS...COME ON FESS UP :-) ***

  18. At 02:38 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Kaz wrote:

    What a cool blog! First time I've blogged but am loving reading your daily japes and provoking thoughts. Tried to have a wholesome weekend - and did indeed eat lush hearty food and did a couple of runs -it was the vino that made it go a bit pear-shaped. Had a heartsome weekend and love leading a heartsome life. Great word, did you make it up?! Was explaining something to a friend of mine at a party yesterday about why I'm having counselling - which, by the by, I'm loving - and she was stunned. Said she could never have imagined me having counselling as I seemed so confident blah blah blah....Then today she called me to say that she thought I was an amazing person who touched everyone's life with love and had an impact on everyone I met and wished she'd told me before! Bless! I could go on forever but will blogg off until the next time. Wish I still smoked, I'd have a post -blogg fag!
    Much love. Mwah, mwah,mwah.

  19. At 02:41 PM on 23 Oct 2006, shygirl wrote:

    Good afternoon,

    What a nice blog that was to read, just had bad news about my Grandma who is in hospital and not very well at all. So your words sat well today Chris. We had a family sunday lunch yesterday and i was saying we should discuss what we want when our time is nigh!! But it seemed only me who wanted to talk about it, there were some silly jokes and i was told not to be so morbid (in a kind way!) but these things need to be discussed dont they?!

    Bye

  20. At 02:42 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Kate Dobson wrote:

    The philosophy of 'live each day as if it were your last' always resonates most after the loss of a friend or loved one. We examine our own mortality and that of those around us with an urgency that can inspire or depress us, but its an urgency that will die down as shock and grief subside and we will often return to our usual routine, for better or worse. I think your philosophy is very wise and I believe if you can anticipate death without fearing it and enjoy every step you take towards it, (for let's face it, we're all on that march), you CAN live for the good, your own and other people's, and that's a great legacy to leave when your time is up.
    When my dad died my mum donated a trophy, in his memory, to his running club. Twenty-five years later this trophy is still being awarded and this year I will be presenting it. I am honoured to be able to do it, but more than that I am overwhelmed that his legacy lives on in places other than my heart.
    Love to Paulie's friends and family.

  21. At 02:48 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    You = love life

  22. At 02:48 PM on 23 Oct 2006, phil hall wrote:

    hi ...

    do not really know what to write, but having read your blog i thought i would send you this...something i wrote (for some very strange/dark reason after watching a film a few years ago.)..!
    quite sad, but makes you realise things could be much worse..

    THE SOLDIERS HAVE GONE!!
    --------------------------------

    PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES NOW
    THE SOLDIERS HAVE GONE
    THE BULLET WOUND IS DEEP
    BUT HELP WON'T BE LONG


    WE ARE ALONE IN THE DARK
    IT ALL HAPPENED SO QUICK
    YOU ARE LYING THERE HELPLESS
    OUR UNBORN SON DOES NOT KICK

    COME, PLEASE GIVE ME A SIGN
    YOU HAVE NOT MOVED FOR A WHILE
    I FEEL YOU SQUEEZE MY HAND
    COME, PLEASE GIVE ME A SMILE

    I BRUSH DUST FROM YOUR HAIR
    AND WIPE BLOOD FROM YOUR LIPS
    YOU TRY WHISPER TO ME
    BUT THEN YOU LOOSEN YOUR GRIP

    PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME NOW
    NO, NOT IN THIS WAY
    WE HAVE SO MUCH TO SHARE
    AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

    ONE FINAL KISS ON YOUR FACE
    YOUR SKIN IS SO SMOOTH YET SO PALE
    MY TEARS FALL INTO THE BLOOD
    THAT DRAINS FROM YOUR BODY SO FRAIL

    YOU CANNOT OPEN YOUR EYES NOW
    ALTHOUGH THE SOLDIERS HAVE GONE
    THAT SAME BULLET WILL WOUND ME
    FROM THIS MOMENT ON.........

    end..


    next time i post a mesaage i will try to make it somewhat relevant!...mind is blank now so until next time...

    keep smiling!!!

    phil - from huddersfield

  23. At 02:50 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Kate at #11

    Wow !! I`m adopting too...From China. I too have talked through everything with my nearest and dearest regarding gaurdianship and what happens if....

    CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU !!! I hope it is a smooth journey :) x x

  24. At 03:06 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Em 25 wrote:

    I think a certain amount of fear of death can be a good thing, not fear of the actually physical process of dying, but if you fear what you may regret if pushes you to do everything your afraid of! To talk to therandom person and contact that old friend! I am a big believer of leaving nothing unsaid and never going to sleep on an argument!

    I believe lack of communication is the cause of alot of relationships crumbling.

    I also, like you chris, believe the sadness of those who die too young should make you appreciate your own life and how prescious it is, and to take all your chances.

    Tracey Anne I wish you luck at the doctors and strength to face whatever you must face.

    em25x

  25. At 03:07 PM on 23 Oct 2006, ChrissieS wrote:

    Hi Chris (and all)

    Your blog entry today is just so spot on. At least, Chris, you are prepared (well, sort of) for the fact that one day your mum won't be here. In my own experience, losing my mum and dad was such a complete shock, largely due to the fact that my parents would never discuss death. They were terrified of it, with the result they protected all their children from it and when they died (within 6 weeks of each other) my entire family were devastated. It literally took us five years to start to recover.

    I hope I have prepared my daughter for the inevitable. She knows that death is part of life and that while we're alive, we have to live as best we can. Life is tough at times but it is still a wonderful gift and we have to make the most of it.

    All I will say to you is that when someone you love dies, things can never be the same again. You miss that person endlessly, but life does go on and you take their memory with you as you go.

    I too, am so sorry that Paul Walters has died. Reading the tributes to him on the website, I wonder if he had any idea what people really thought of him. Sooooo, just in case - Chris, I really love you!!

    C xx

  26. At 03:07 PM on 23 Oct 2006, V wrote:

    Hi Chris,

    Like many others I listen to Terry in the morning and the gang getting ready for work, and your good self on the way home.

    It was with great sadness that I learnt of Pauly's death yesterday and there this morning I was in tears as Terry played Eva Cassidy "Some Where Over The Rainbow".

    My close friend is going through Chemo at the moment and is half way. Due to get results tommorrow to see if its working...its hard to imagen people not here.

    All I can say it's true they only take the best, there be great tune's being played up there now! Rest in peace Pauly.

    Cheers

    V

  27. At 03:08 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Karen George wrote:

    Wow Chris!

    How come you always say the right thing at the right time!! I, Like #3 blogger, Am in the process of finding out whats wrong with me! C word or not its all very scary! For once in my life I don't want to die just yet - not for a long time! i have so much to do! I think now i am happily married with a georgous little boy i realise how wonderful and precious life really is and we should all live it to the full.
    I think the early and very early deaths of our Dr Wally and snooker player Paul Hunter go to show we really don't know what is around the corner. I've just read Richard Hammonds story in the mirror and how lucky he was, and boy was he lucky!
    I thank God for every day i have in this wonderful world of ours and i hope and pray he has a long plan for me!!

    Thanks for your great blogs and looking forward to the show later!

    Lots of love

    Karen xxx

  28. At 03:11 PM on 23 Oct 2006, DaveTVT wrote:

    Mitch Albom wrote a really good book about all this (life's journey, not chicken stew!) - I'd recommend it to anyone. It's called "Tuesdays with Morrie". I'd defy anyone to read it & not think differently about death, life's journey, and the importance of key people in your life & our need to let them know it.

    Schumi taking that final bend? If I were him, I'd probably be thinking something like "thank **** for that - still alive!!!"

  29. At 03:12 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Sal Acious wrote:

    Hi CHris

    A very warm blog I thought!

    As somebody whose job is to organise financial planning for my clients, you would be amazed just how many people do not keep things up to date.

    Writing a Will, apointing Enduring Power of Attorney (in ase you lose your marles in later years) and thinking about your funeral arrangements are just as important as going to the dentist twice a year and servicing your car!
    All these things just make life run more smoothly and cause as little worry and pain for whoever has to deal with the inevitable as possible.

    Strangely the news today i all about writing wills - so every body how ever young even if you don't currently hae a fortune to leave - write a Will and review it every few years!

    In my family we are blessed with longevity so usually the funerals of our dearly departed relatives are a cause for celebration of their life - I find it dificult to understand peopole who choose to deal with death as if it shouldn't hae happened to Suchand such because Death and Taxes are unavoidable!

    Usually on this blog we are all cheery - so I hoe we can all continue celebrataing the joy of living -
    yesterday went on a Fungus Foray - I was incredulous t the amountof knowledge the Fungus Boffins hold in their heads - most funghi have very long latin names and they knew just about all of them - I wrote down abou 30 names and at the end of the Foray they said it was quite disapointing for them but for me it was just so exciting - apparently their are 10,000 types in this country so we really only saw a miniscule part of the vast range Mother Nature has produced.

    Chin chin Christophe

    Sal
    x

  30. At 03:15 PM on 23 Oct 2006, cath wrote:

    hmmmmmmm, fruitful eh???????????? If I had a beard I'd be stroking it now, thoughtfully ...

    Chris, your post is lovely. I think the key thing is to tell the people you love that you love them on a very regular basis. You and your mum are lucky to have each other!

    (I do think she should share the legacy of the magic chicken though!!)

    Have great weeks all.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  31. At 03:17 PM on 23 Oct 2006, MWK wrote:


    Hello Chris

    You must be a mind reader. The number of times your blog has been so apt with my thoughts or events at that time is unbelieveable! Like Tracey-Ann (#3) I have a Doc's appointment tomorrow and I'm terrified of what the outcome might be. Not because I'm scared of death, I just don't know if I will be strong enough emotionally to deal with it. It's at a time like this when being on your own isn't fun! I have family and friends who I know will be there for me but I just wouldn't want to be a burden to anyone! Both my parents have passed away and I miss them both terribly, there is never a day goes by when I don't think of them and whenever I'm sad I always think of the funny times we had and it always makes me smile. They both had a great sense of humour and I look back with found memories and I'm proud to have them as my Mum and Dad. That's why I'm not scared of death because I know I will meet up with them again! I just hope they are not ready for me yet :-)

    Chris I hope you don't mind me telling this story. I have always been a fan of yours since I tuned into you on GLR and ever since then I've been hooked. I remember listening to your show on Radio 1 and you telling a story of when your bank manager called to say he was a little concerned that money you were paying into your Mum's account was not being spent and when you asked your Mum about it she said to you "well son I can get by on what I have, I just thought I would save the money for you incase your needed it back sometime" I was touched by that story at the time and I always remember thinking to myself what a wonderful woman she was, and knew she would be the kind of person who was always thinking of others. It's no surprise you are the person you are having the Mum that you do. Cherish her Chris she is one in a million xx

    Tracey-Ann - Lots of love I will be thinking about you xx

    Take care all
    Love Mary xx

  32. At 03:20 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Tootie wrote:

    Afternoon Chris and blogsters,

    Gosh, that brought a lump to my throat. I鈥檓 very privileged to have longevity in my family. My gran is 101 years young. My grandfather was 96 when he passed away two years ago. I see my gran every Saturday in her old folks home where she has been for just over a year now. Up until then she lived on her own. Amazing, I know! But what I have noticed over the past couple of weeks is the dimming of her light. That鈥檚 the only way I can describe it really. The exact thing happened to my granddad. But the fortunate thing is that it鈥檚 a gradual process and we all got to say our goodbyes. I don鈥檛 want my granny to die. But I can see it happening before my eyes. Each time I see her, the brightness of her eyes, the warm smile, the eagerness to share stories, the strength of her hug, it鈥檚 all fading away. I know she has lived a long life and she鈥檚 tired, but it is still very hard to say goodbye.

    Treasure your mum. I do mine! And oh how I hope my son will me : )

    PS: if I can have one wish it is that my house can be like Joannie鈥檚 and my son will take his friends round to share brunch. We don鈥檛 all achieve that. Well done!

  33. At 03:21 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Megglet wrote:

    Hey guys and gals,

    Another fab blog, Mr E.

    Made me think of one of those 'proverbs' that does the rounds every now and again on the email; but this is one that actually strikes a rather marvellous chord.

    It goes something like...

    Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and perfectly preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and glass of wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOW what a ride!"

    Rather good, don't you think?!

    A hug to one and all.

    Meg x

  34. At 03:28 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Andy wrote:

    Second post of the day - hope that's OK!

    On the subject of people living on through their recipes, my mother-inlawb passed away a few years back but her tradition of cooking steak and kidney pie for the whole family the saturday before Christmas lives on. Last year it was my wife's turn and with 20-odd people to feed it's a good job my neice has a butcher for a boy friend! It's always a bit chaotic but great fun and we always raise a glass or two to Dora, God bless her!

  35. At 03:29 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Nicolle of Andover wrote:

    Afternoon Chris (and the team)

    I was going to start off with what a profound message you were writing for a Monday afternoon, but it is as good a time as any I suppose 鈥..

    I don鈥檛 know if this is just me but I always seem to be attending more funerals around Christmas and the New Year than at any other time of the year.

    I lost my grandfather 4 years ago and that was horrible, but he had a good life and lived life to the full.

    I am in the process of getting over an 11 year relationship (married for 5). It started out on the 30th Jan 06 as a separation and has now gone into a full blown divorce, although not a death it feels very similar, however this time unlike my grandfathers passing I feel as though the whole of me has been torn apart. I am sure loosing a parent or a child must be the same, I would hate to loose my parents as they make me laugh every day.
    They have an embroidered cushion in their loo which says 鈥 鈥渆njoy life it is not a rehearsal鈥 I think that this is the key.

    My heart goes out to the lady going to the doctors 鈥 I prey it is not the bug C.

    Chris on a lighter note, have you managed to speak to the sofa girl yet鈥..

    Big Hug
    Nicky

  36. At 03:29 PM on 23 Oct 2006, jo wrote:

    Hi Christophe lammy pie,
    You are so right about mum's they are always the best cooks. My mum died 12 years ago when she was 60, and i miss her more now than ever. With a boy of 12 and 2 girls under 3 i would love to know what she would make of us all and what she and my children missed out on. Must go a nappy to change. x

  37. At 03:31 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Wendy Woo wrote:

    Afternoon All

    Yes, Terry's tribute to Pauly was much appreciated this morning - I was struck dumb on Saturday when I heard the news.

    Just a reminder that we should cherish everyone we hold dear because they are not there forever. My dad died last year and on Saturday I spoke about him with a family member who is not that close to us but she was telling me how much she missed him and I was really touched.

    As for the bloggers who want to talk about their deaths and arrangements they would like I would like to say that this is an excellent idea. My dad had spoken to my sister about what he wanted just a few months before his death and given her a list of "do's", "don'ts" and "I would like if possibles". We followed his instructions to the letter and managed all of the "if possibles" and we were grateful to him for his instructions because we felt, at a time when it is easy to feel useless, that we were making the arrangements for him - a final act of love.

    Well I've now rendered myself speechless (twice in one week, my friends will never believe it!).

    Have a good week everyone.
    x

  38. At 03:32 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Jo wrote:

    While it is easy to get lost in sadness, it is better to be lost in memories for a while 鈥 especially the happy ones. It is also easy to forget about those we care about when caught up in the business of daily life and routine. So, I try to make a little time each weekend for my mum, because you only have one and time is precious. She doesn鈥檛 make magic chicken 鈥 but she does make magic cakes! Keep smiling 鈥 it will get you through. J x

  39. At 03:33 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Em M wrote:

    Isn't it amazing when someone dies and hundreds of people who never even knew them mourn their passing? I think sir tel was a bit choked up at times this morning but he kept going like the true pro he is.

    My grandparents are still going strong at 80 and 81, and I am so glad that my children have had the chance to know them, and taste my nannie's delicious shortbread!

    I know which songs i would like played at my funeral, but my husband calls me morbid as he can't see the point in thinking about it as I won't be here to care.

    You sound like you are a lovely son to your mum Chris, I hope my boys still come to see me at the weekend when I'm getting on a bit!

    Tracey-Ann - hope your trip to the docs goes well; thinking of you.

    Em xx

  40. At 03:34 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Mums are great! still looking after you all these years on.

    Paul will be missed, not only by your guys there, but all the listeners.

    Life is so nasty, but so good, what a rollercoaster. no wonder some folks can't cope with it. you do have a slight advantage over some of us, in that you can Afford to live life to the full. some can't... not that anyone should grudge you for it, you worked for it, but its hard to see over the limitations that our society place on us, to realy live life for some.

    I'll be on the road for 6 tonight, I should be home just intoime for the locker!

  41. At 03:36 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Dissing Dave wrote:

    C,
    Thanks for todays blog, I consider that I have been very fortunate to reach 38 years old and still have both my parents, to whom I can say the things I need to while they are still here. A good reference point for me was Mike & the Mechanics "The Living Years!" A song with a huge message! and one that I now try to live by.

  42. At 03:42 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Sarah wrote:

    Lovely blog Chris. 17 years ago my mum died at 66 after a longillness. (she made amazing stew too!) I still miss her and long to talk to her.
    At exactly 3.02am that morning,I woke up, wide awake, got up went down stairs and made a cup of tea. The next day i discovered both my sisters and dad had done exactly the same thing. Later we were told by the nurse who was with her that Mum died at 3.02 in the morning. When we were kids, mums answer to any illness/ stress/ sadness was to have a cup of tea so it seems like she was telling us all that it would be Okay.
    Terry's tribute to Dr Wally was lovely,fitting and full of laughter. I send love to all of his family and colleagues.
    Thanks for the blog Chris, it made a difference today
    Saz
    x

  43. At 03:51 PM on 23 Oct 2006, James or Parsnip wrote:

    I've commented elsewhere (under my real name, even) about Pauly, but it's a weird one. Kind of like when John Peel died and you felt a part of your life had been taken away. Never knew the guy; listened to him on the radio sometimes. But he just seemed a genuinely nice chap and will be much missed by everyone, however peripherally he touched their lives.

    Which is to be both say that I'm very sad he's died but also to at the same time trivialise the matter, entirely unintentionally. But the grief is really for his family and close friends, who've lost a lot more than we have. And, yes, we should say how we feel, but we should also respect those who are more profoundly touched by his passing, and be sensitive to how they are feeling.

    I say as when my sister was killed and it was over the papers we were somehow glad of the recognition of her life but at the same time wished that the press hadn't gone about reporting it lazily.

    Thought STW got things perfectly balanced this morning.

  44. At 03:51 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Galadriel wrote:

    Hello one and all

    a very poignant blog today chris.

    i hope that when my time comes my bags are well and truly stuffed with things from my life.

    I try and put something new into it everyday. As you never know when your time is up.

    My partner died 6 years ago a young 42 and ever since i have made d**n sure that i make the most of my life.

    The simpliest pleasures are often the best..Just like your mum's stew. Mine's cooking the sunday roast...i love doing it.....seeing those yorkshire puddings rise each sunday ....and the clean plates afterwards....everyone round the table together......you just can't beat it.

    Happy monday to one and all x

  45. At 03:54 PM on 23 Oct 2006, butzis wrote:

    Chris,

    seeing as you had a great time eating at your ma's, maybe you could play a song about kitchens.... "Rat in my Kitchen" by UB40 would be very apt ..... here's to great food .......

    butzis

  46. At 03:56 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Lynn Dauscha wrote:

    Hi Chris, agreed with your ruminations about death today and find that the only fear of death that I have is dying alone. Whatever my ending is, I hope someone is there to hold my hand and tell me they love me, not much to ask I hope.
    I really thought I was going to miss J.W. when he left the drive-time show but have to say you have made the show your and I hate to miss it now. Well done and keep on going. I hope your Mum gives you loads more pleasure for many years to come, as I am sure you give pleasure to her. Bye for now, Lynn

  47. At 04:04 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Thank You :) Thanks for all of your kind words and thoughts.

    I have watched my mother survive cancer and I have inherited her fighting spirit.

    Karen, Mary, Em25, Em M, Nicolle - Thank You so much for caring.

    I will be sure to let you all know how I get on...

    MARY - Right back at you. I really hope it all goes well for you. You`re in my thoughts.

    All my love to all

    Tracey-Ann x x

  48. At 04:10 PM on 23 Oct 2006, The BigUN wrote:

    Afternoon Chris, bloggers and schologgers,

    Death 鈥 In most circles this is a taboo subject.

    I agree Dr Wally is a great loss and for what it is worth I have sent a message of condolence to his family and friends fully aware at this time nothing you can do or say will help, but it will in time after a period of reflection. 59 was no age and he still had so much to offer this world, very sad :-(

    You recently and graciously dedicated a show to me (thank you again) with the title 鈥渨e all want to live for ever鈥. Not to criticise but it may have better to say 鈥渨e all want to live a long and healthy life!鈥

    Any way my point is that too many people will not face up to the inevitable and prepare for the fact that there are only two things certain in life, first you will be born and one day you will die. I was forced to face up to it and feel better for having stared death in the face and sent it packing for a while longer :-)

    We must not be glum only reflective as we do have so many reasons to smile every day :-)

    Keep smiling, and live long :-)))

    Keith
    x

    P.S. Just for a change I will post a little joke for you :-)

    George Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let some-one else go. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

    George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

    The devil opened the first room. In it were Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

    "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

    The devil led him to the next room. In It was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.

    "No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day." commented George.

    The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,

    "Yeah, I can handle this."

    The devil smiled and said,

    "Ok, Monica, you're free to go!"

    Happy Monday everyone :-)))

  49. At 04:10 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Rachel (Blue Angel) wrote:

    Hi Chris and the blogettes,

    To me, death is like an artist, signing a painting鈥 step back a little, smile; nod in a , yep, I like that kind of way, sign, and then off you go. The deal really, is to try to leave, a happy painting that other people will enjoy looking at, as much as you, enjoyed painting.

    The first step, is to 鈥..

    Keep smiling

    Rachel

  50. At 04:12 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    No Comment.

  51. At 04:13 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Karen George - wishing you a positive outcome :) x x

  52. At 04:20 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Susan wrote:

    Hey Chris and fellow bloggers

    I listened to Sir Tel this morning and also got quite choked up hearing about the loss of Pauly Walters - he was such a funny man and made my journey to work much easier than it would otherwise have been.

    It's really important that we have as much fun as we can with the people that we love and, although I'm not a very demonstrative person (other than with my partner) and have never told my parents that I love them, I would hope that my actions would show them that's how I feel. Does anyone else find it hard to say that sort of stuff?

    Tracey-Ann and MWK, hope everything goes OK for you both - thinking of you.

    Happy Monday all
    x

  53. At 04:36 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Lawgirlleo wrote:

    Hi Chris and all Blogbabes,
    The blog has really touched a raw nerve today, as this weekend I attended a ceremony to say goodbye to a much loved and missed family member.
    It is also true what you say about treasuring and valuing your Mum, I don't have one (it is not that she passed away but just chose not to be part of my life some 24 years ago)and I am so envious of those who have such a special presence in their life. It has been hard at times not having a person who loves you unconditionally to turn to, so, everybody make the most of your Mum, because you will really miss her when she is gone!
    X

  54. At 04:40 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Anonymous wrote:

    #3 Tracey-Ann, thinking of you and hope all turns out well. Think positive!

    #8 Soozy Woo - like the way you describe this life as the first course, so the pud's to come! I so agree....

    I look at the countryside around me - the leaves on the trees, the undulating heathland, the many different mushrooms and toadstools along the lanes, flowers in all seasons and, come rain or sunshine, light or darkness with its stars, Creation shouts out from each one of them, and from all the good people I know. How could I fear dying when all everything is in its place and we are all united in Creation?

    Life must be leading somewhere, I certainly have a sense of 'moving on' and of being guided WHEN I listen and look out for the guide (called God in my opinion, but others have different words) As you say, Chris, it's vital to embrace all the opportunities and see what they bring, and to be good to each other. Sometimes we need some knocks before we realise that.

    Thanks for reminding us of priorities, Christophe! As one of our sons was described by his Head Teacher at school, you've plenty of bounce to the ounce!

    xxx Love to all - Jill

  55. At 04:40 PM on 23 Oct 2006, mandie wrote:

    hi to one and all

    i think chris speaks for all of us and yes terrys show was great this morning.

    i very recently lost a very dear friend and although it was expected at the end it was very quick. unfortunatley i was on holiday when the news came through and although i went and said my goodbyes as i had missed the funeral, still do not feel there is closure. i went passed a pub we both went to in the new forest a couple of weeks ago and found myself driving along in floods of tears. but still life does go on and we have to try and make the most of what we have got around us.

    my mother in law died very suddenly several years ago, we always went there for sunday lunch and proper scones for tea, since she has died we do not keep in touch with the rest of the family so much which is really sad as there used to be 14 of us for lunch.

    anyway, must get on, love to all and i will raise a glass to paulie and his family tonight to wish him a safe journey to wherever he is going on to!!

    mandie x

  56. At 04:40 PM on 23 Oct 2006, F 38 wrote:

    My thoughts are with Pauly's family and friends.

    I have to admit I didn't listen to Wogan this morning, I had Radio 1 on. Normally Chris Moyles - but it's Scott Mills at the moment. Billie was on this morning, promoting her new book, and she was very funny. Very entertaining and cheery for a Monday morning.

    When I was 25 I used to listen to Radio 4 on the way to work, but as I'm getting older I like to listen to a balance of things. Some that make me laugh, some that are challenging, I go with my flo.

    Food - I always support our local farmers markets - and last night I had a gorgeous piece of fillet steak with peppercorn sauce. Delicious. I never buy my meat from a main supermarket except Waitrose. Saturday night - I had a great chicken stew at Mum's.

    Michael's career won't be over - he'll be back. Like him or loathe him he appears to be a determined, intelligent and aggressive person.

    Death - it's going to happen - but in the mean time I'm going to enjoy myself. I want a non-religious funeral, playing Monthy Pythons - Always look on the bright side of life. I would then want everyone to have a party.

  57. At 04:41 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Frances wrote:

    Everyone's baffled why you left Billie

  58. At 04:41 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Mark Occomore wrote:

    Hi Chris,

    We had a good weekend. Pub on friday evening and went to Frankie and Bennys restaurant on Saturday evening very nice, and rounded off in the pub yesterday afternoon for a skinfull.

    It's half term this week and great the kids are screaming and running around the house and this is only the first day. I will be grey by the end of the week.......he, he.

    Have good show and week!!

    Mark

  59. At 04:43 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Alison P wrote:

    Just have to comment on todays blog. For me 2006 has been a pretty awful year when it comes to losing people. I lost my step sister in a car crash on mothers day - leaving behind two little girls who will never know their mum's cooking again, a good friend lost both her parents within 6 months of each other and other friends have lost close family relations. And I was very saddened to hear about Pauly Walters - the show with him and Terry is something that my Dad and I share and treasure as ours and it's not quite the same now.

    Can't wait to leave 2006 behind and 2007 must be a better year.

    To all those who have lost someone please read this poem that was read at my step sisters funeral - I thought it was lovely

    I am standing on the seashore,
    A ship in the bay lifts her anchor, spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts out upon the ocean.
    She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky mingle with each other.
    Then someone at my side says, 鈥淭here, she鈥檚 gone!鈥
    Gone where? Gone from sight and that is all.
    Just at that moment there are other eyes watching her coming and other souls taking up the glad shout, 鈥淭here, she鈥檚 coming!鈥
    And that is dying.

    Love to all - a very subdued blog today? A time for reflection

    Alison xxx

  60. At 04:53 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Angie wrote:

    Hi Everyone.

    The blog really helped this time. My Mum has been very poorly for years and is currently in hospital. We have made the very hard decision for her to go into a nursing home.

    Bloggers take notice!! If you or one of your relatives are becoming more infirm then start investigating now! I am having a nightmare trying to find somewhere suitable for Mum. She is only 75 and dont want her to go somewhere which is awful. Believe me there are plenty!!

    Sort out yourselves and family members sooner rather than later and avoid the heartache I am going through.

    Wish she was well and healthy but it wasent to be!!

  61. At 04:55 PM on 23 Oct 2006, monkey mans girl wrote:

    hello cris and every1, this is a first for me, im a bit of an internet virgin but haveing just read ur blog i felt i had to say this. we all die alone, Wether we have loved ones with us or no. we all lead a diffarnt path in life but the ending is just the same, tho just leading us there at differant times wether we want them to or no. my gran died when i was 16 and i look back now (Only 8 years on but seems a life time!) and wish id spent more time than i did with her, but life dose go on and we cherish what we had more as we get older and a little bit wiser

  62. At 04:56 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Peels wrote:

    Afternoon all
    Eagerly awaiting the show even tho have to listen surreptitiously at work (can't say I am not living dangerously ;-)

    Tracey Ann - best of luck with your trip to the Docs, I hope you have a loved one to go with you

    Joannie - when I have kids, I want their friends to come round to ours like an open house too, what a faboulous testimony to your family!

    All this chat of how much we love our parents has made me want to tell them (not often done to my very chilled out, quiet, Geordie dad, whose way of telling me he loves me (I think) is to call me Slack Alice with a wink (dont ask)....

  63. At 04:59 PM on 23 Oct 2006, The BigUN wrote:

    Sorry I am back again,

    You see I just wrote my post before reading the other posts and it is only now I have made time today to get onto the blog and I am pleased I did.

    Tracy-Ann # 3 You can go to the doctors this afternoon knowing you will not be alone, my thoughts will be with you鈥..good luck ;-)

    Karen # 27 Good luck finding out what is wrong with you! It can be a scary time but you seem to have such a positive attitude and that will help :-)

    Mary # 31 Good luck for tomorrow :-) One thing you missed out of your safety net is this blog, if we can help we will. So many of the people on here (Including you) helped me through a difficult time and we will help you through yours if we can. I know it is hard but try to keep smiling :-)

    Nicky # 35 They have an embroidered cushion in their loo which says 鈥 鈥渆njoy life it is not a rehearsal鈥 I think that this is the key 鈥 Amen to that :-)

    Wendy Woo # 37 I agree making arrangements for ones death is an excellent idea. I have done mine with my wife and kids. They know my thoughts/wishes, what music to play and that they should pay the least to bury/cremate me so they can have more money left to party with! :-) A will is vital and worth every penny.

    I am off now as it is Mrs BigUn鈥檚 birthday and I have a diamond for the lovely lady, then out for a meal to let her sparkle in public :-)

    Big smile :-))))

    Keith
    x

    Nearly show time :-)

  64. At 05:03 PM on 23 Oct 2006, John wrote:

    Hi Chris

    It's so true what you say about death, or rather the fear of it.

    Those of us that are currently fit and healthy should embrace it every day and try and put some brightness into the lives of those who aren't so fortunate.

    Very basic and obvious stuff all this, so why do so many of us ignore it?

    I'm not a religous person, having waivered between being an agnostic and an atheist for most of my life. But, try reading the ten commandments and imagine a world where we all guided by those principles.

    It isn't hard to do!

  65. At 05:10 PM on 23 Oct 2006, lee wrote:

    Hi Chris
    First entry on the blog though I 've been a reader for a while.
    Moved by what you wrote about your Mum.
    Lost mine when I was quite young and my Dad not long after.

    Now I work with the bereaved and although it's often sad and distressing I'm just an ear needed when times are hard.

    It seems to be the last taboo we have yet to come to terms with and living for the day and embracing all that is and who are around is how I live my life. From sunsets to hugs for the person who needs it most.

    Love laugh live ... tomorrow?? It never really comes.

    Love the show and your philosphies

    Stay safe.
    Lee

  66. At 05:19 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Amanda wrote:

    Hello everyone on this thoughtful Monday.

    Both of my parents have gone, both in their youthful early sixties. I think about them and miss them everyday. Their deaths have unavoidably caused me to reflect on my own life and how I am living it.

    The outcome: I have turned off the television. That is not how I want to spend my free time. Last night, we sat around the Sunday table and played board games. That is much more of a memory that I can be proud of than sitting in front of the tv. I have taken more walks in the forest enjoying every detail. I breathe in more deeply. Finally, I focus on my darling daughter to help her make wonderful memories herself.

    Have a wonderful evening!
    Amanda

  67. At 05:25 PM on 23 Oct 2006, kaz wrote:

    Hi Christophe lammy- pie.

    My husband died very young but lived his
    life to the full with lots of funand laughter his
    motto was Have Fun so that is what we try
    to do.

    Have Fun and a happy monday evening to you
    x

  68. At 05:38 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hey Mr Evans
    Your ability to inspire me with your blogs confounds me!
    So wise...you've learnt a lot it seems.
    I agree with everything you say about ensuring you don't waste time.
    I spend all of my spare time in the studio with my band www.destroycowboy.com usually to the detriment of my personal relationships (and my ability to stay awake). It's tough but i feel creatively fulfilled by it.
    We have a very important gig coming up and there is a lot of pressure on us to perform.
    Reading your blog helps reduce the stress levels somewhat!
    Steve State
    www.stevestate.blogspot.com

  69. At 05:39 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Toby Dodwell wrote:

    Hello all,

    relaxed, thoughtful & inspired weekends had by all I hope!

    It makes you wonder what life would be like without certain people in it... I know friends of mine that have lost close members of their families and it worries me that I wont be able to cope without them... I'm sure as hell not ready to try!

    Anyway, back to my question...

    Anyone got suggestions of good books to read, jsut finished "White Slave & Humble Pie" Thought tht White Slave was better due to the descriptive manor!

    So any thoughts??

  70. At 06:06 PM on 23 Oct 2006, The Debster wrote:

    Hello Chris and the fabulous Blogettes

    I'm pleased to say that I had another lovely spontaneous weekend which began on Friday at about 3pm when my son called me to say that he'd been offered a permanent position as PA (or Bitch as he puts it) to ther director of a small TV company. He worked for nothing for 3 weeks then for very little for 6 weeks and now he's on he proper money! Whoopee!!

    Saturday I had a call from freind Alex whose wife is a Hindu. He wanted to use my garden to throw a surprise Divali (festival of light - BIG Hindu celebration) party for his wife so I threw a quick bonfire together (first one this year), downloaded some Bangara(?)music and stuck and some jacket potatoes in the oven. I fell into bed c. 3am! My son Joe had his girlfriend and two mates over and I had a 'special' friend staying for the weekend. Post fireworks the 8 of us took off to the garage loaded with booze and more booze and my son DJ-ed us through to the early hours. We danced untilw e literally dropped! It was fantastic. xx

    Co-incidentally our conversation turned to whne our time comes at the end of the night. I love fireworks and as the fireworks were particularly special that evening I decided that I wanted to be blasted into the sky when my time comes. Alex - being a pyrotechnics man - explained that it would be easy for him to pack my ashes into a big massive firework and I could have it blasted from anywhere I chose. He said he hasn't worked out how to make on to get to Mars yet but he may have by then. The thought of my ashes being blasted off of my special clifftop with all my loved ones waving me off sent me off to sleep with a very warm feeling. Being a single parent I have had several conversations with my son about when my time comes for the sole purpose of not leaving him bewildered as to what I might have wanted. Although I hate to admit it I am the type of girlie who knows her own mind and what she wants and that's usually how it is. The Morecombe and Wise song Bring Me Sunshine is my only request for a song. xx

    Sunday I had a surprise gathering for a friend who is expecting a baby in two weeks. I had 7 of her best girlfriends here some I'd never met) and laid on a Ritz stylee tea party. Tiny posh sandwiches and cakes - 7 different types of cake - all baked by my good frined since schooldays who caters for weddings. What an indulgence! The lady in question (Pram) was moved to tears. It was soooo lovely! xx

    Today is quite a different story......I'm detoxing which was planned. I do a 5 day detox every April and October. I am on apple juice and water and green tea and feeling very very weak. I also have a day of silence on my first day of detox and I speak to nobody and listen to nothing other than the noises of life around me. No TV, no radio (sorry Chris, I'm missing this show) and no telephone. My detox is very much my own version and includes the luxury of saunas and lot of lying on sofas too. I've got a very annoying headache and can only meditate my way through it but that's aprt of it. By Friday I shall feel amazing and that's what keeps me going.

    This Saturday I'll be travelling to Glastonbury to celebrate Halloween with the witches - white ones of course. A white witch friend moved to Glastonbury last year and I shall be accompanying her to a very special witchy do soemwhere. I just hope it's indoors as it's starting to get a bit parky. (That could be me though, detoxing and chilly). The good news is that the clocks go back Sat night so we get an extra witching hour. I can't wait!

    I wish you all a happy Monday evening and I shall catch up with the show tomorrow.

    Debs xxx

  71. At 06:27 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Graeme wrote:

    Chris,

    The talking clock - tempted by the position, but don't know if I can handle the hours.

    Graeme
    Maida Vale

  72. At 06:34 PM on 23 Oct 2006, MWK wrote:


    Thank you all for your kind thoughts xx

    Keith
    Happy birthday to Mrs BigUn - I'm sure she will be delighted with her diamond - by having you she has the biggest diamond anyone could wish for xx

    Chris - this blog has changed the life of many people, including my own, for the better - thank you soo much for giving us the privilege of being part of it xx

    My sister who is like a second Mum to me is coming up from Hampshire (im in Glasgow) for a couple of days. No doubt tonight there will be tears but there will be laughter too xx

    Take care
    Love Mary xx

  73. At 06:36 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Carrie wrote:

    Well, funny you should mention making your mum a stew this w/end. I did the same thing and also asked my mum for a rating out of 10... I got 8 1/2 (can't do a proper half on my computer). It was an Irish stew with organic lamb. I lost marks for having too much pepper and that I had not fried the lamb first. Whoops..

    Not bad... but seeing as she normally needs a tin opener for her stew .....:-) Seriously though, mums are for spoiling - you only get one - so my stew (and everything else I make for her) is always made with lots of love, care and attention. It definitely makes for good eats..!

    Love the show - makes my 45 minute journey home very enjoyable. Thanks

  74. At 06:43 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Mariella Wolenski, apparently! wrote:

    I have never been scared by death and have been planning my funeral since I don't know when.

    I want a cardboard coffin covered in messages, jokes, poems and drawings done by my friends and family, where they should express anything they feel. I want to be taken into the crematorium to Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear The Reaper. As the attendees leave I want November Rain to be played because it is one of those songs that makes the hairs on my neck stand up. My ashes are to be used to plant an oak tree in a forest, to provide shelter for animals and walkers alike. I don't want a vicar or anybody standing at the front talking about me, as they don't know me, it has to be a shared duty between family and friends, and hopefully they will see it as an honour. I have made it easy for whoever goes first as I have written a few lines, saying my farewells to everyone if I didn't get a chance before I died. Many people say they don't want tears at their funeral, but I think that is a little selfish. People need a release to their grief, and tears are one of the best ways to do so. I don't mind what the people attending do after the funeral.

    I knew a lady that was very ill, and the doctors told the family that she wouldn't be getting better. They requested that she shouldn't be told, and put on an act every time they visited. I felt that this was wrong. She was a strong lady with many many friends and family and I felt she was denied her chance of saying her farewells. It also meant that when it was time for funeral arrangements to be made nobody knew what she wished for.

    It can be tough to broach the subject, so if the family don't want to talk about it then get it written down and kept somewhere safe so that it will be found should the inevitable happen.

    Cheers,

    MW,a!

  75. At 06:52 PM on 23 Oct 2006, cat wrote:

    hi Chris and new blog friends

    first read of the blog, think it's wonderful! Some of the blogs are so moving and thoughtful.

    I'm going for a brain scan on Friday so all these comments are so good for my state of mind...it's good to know how caring people really are just when you think the whole world's gone selfish and rotten.

    good luck to everyone with health issues and my thoughts go to everyone who's just lost someone.

  76. At 06:55 PM on 23 Oct 2006, feste wrote:

    Hi all,

    It's a reflective time for all it would seem.

    A great many people who never met him will miss Paully. He was a genuine and fun personality. I'm happy to have been privileged enough to have shared a little of my journey with him, even though it was only via the airwaves.

    I was so pleased to hear the fitting tribute to him this morning. I smiled a lot and thats a good sign of a life well celelbrated.

    I love what megglet had to say and i was glad chris read it out on air.

    There are many sayings about how we should live life, many of which seem to suggest we should run around frantically doing everything we can before we die but my own personal favourite goes something like this...Sing like nobody can hear you, dance like nobody can see you and love like you will never be hurt.

    I know goals are important and achieving the best you can is a good thing but you know what? I think its just as important to make time to go and have a cup of tea (or a plate of stew!) with your mum or dad. A good life isn't about how much you do but how well you do it.

    OK i think i need to sit and have a cuppa and spend some time with people i love.

    Much love

    Feste xx

    PS To Tracy Ann, Karen and Mary (if i have missed anybody i apologise) i hope all goes well for you and no matter what happens you have friends here to help you through anything.

  77. At 06:57 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Joannie (Toronto) wrote:

    Hi there,
    I know that I have been on twice today already but I wanted to say Tracy Ann, Karen and Mary....good luck to you all. I am thinking about you, and hope all is well.
    Kate and Tracy-Ann - congrats on your bundles of joy from China...how wonderful for you. How great that you are giving such little treasures a second chance at life. Keep us posted please :-)
    Debs - good luck on your detox - I tried that a while ago but I dont think I did it right cos I could only last three days!!
    I hope I have not missed anybody who needs our positive and healthy vibes :-)
    Take care all
    Joannie xx

  78. At 07:09 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Sharon Smith wrote:

    Hi Chris, Sounds like the goddess that is your mother is just performing the minor miricle that is otherwise known as the loaves and fishes trick. It isn't just the Dali lama who gets himself organised; preparation is everything (i'm sure you already know this, judging by your continued successes).

    Anyway, living a good life (in every sense of it) ought to be the new religion or at least trying to aspire to that. I keep at it, so to speak and eventually i will get it right; maybe that's when your times up. All getting a bit heavy for a Monday so maybe its best to stick to trivia, then at least we are PC. I think the weather has taken its toll today. Keep up the good work x

  79. At 07:12 PM on 23 Oct 2006, anna wrote:

    i dont think i know what to say. Maybe it is because I have never lost some one close, but I believe that its only loss if you think they are gone. Wether you believe in life, memories or spirits, those we love always travel with us.

    On another note, i hope my son loves me as much as you love your mum Chris. I find that loving my parents isnt always easy, liking them can be a challenge sometimes, I try to appreciate them for who they are rather than the role they play in my life..... the pedestal of parenting was too much a challenge for them (and they would admit that themselves) but hopefully that in itself teaches me the beauty and honesty of motherhood.

    xx
    PS love to all those who are facing the challenge of health and wellbeing.

  80. At 07:19 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Linda wrote:

    Hi everyone, ......curiously empty of words just now, helluva blog chris.
    ........'we could never learn to be brave and patient if there was only joy in the world' (Helen Keller)

    much love to Dr Wally's family and to all of you with a health blip at the minute, keep positive, whatever the outcome only concentrate on what you can do to get well, give it everything you've got....

    lotsalove X

  81. At 07:34 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi again CLP and bloggers
    As I have already blogged - I was away at the weekend - but I missed the very sad news of Pauly's death. Am in shock. A lovely man who will be missed by many.
    Kate

  82. At 08:16 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Sam Tonks wrote:

    Hi Chris

    I read the blog for the first time tonight and your recent comments about "You Know When You Know, Don't You?" were brilliant.

    Especially, about death, it really hit home with me and you are so right when you say "Think about death, accept it and then when it knocks on your door make sure you are ready with your bags packed full of all the things you wanted to take away from this life with you." I am going to remind myself of this, when I am moaning about something!! As life is to short!!

    Love the show and love the Blog!

    Sam

    X

  83. At 08:25 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi all,

    A lovely blog Chris and I have to admit to a few tears at Terry this morning, another fine person passes over and will be missed.

    Your words were beautiful and made me consider again that my Dad has the big C and that all of us are mortal. He has been in fantastic form lately and I've really enjoyed his enthusiasm for life. I try to make an effort to appreciate every second I get with him and yet we still bicker at each other endlessly. I suppose it's one of the things we are most happy doing with each other. Mum is my rock and ever the caring wonderful protector. I hate the thought that one day I might have a life without them. I shall make a point of telling them both how much I love them later.

    For now though I am sending out as many loving thoughts and wishes as possible to El Capitain and his family.

    Loads of hugs

    Lynda
    -x-x-x-

  84. At 08:34 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Cate D wrote:

    Beautiful blog Chris - reminds us that life is fragile for enjoy as much as possible.

    To all of you awaiting test results best wishes and prayers for happy outcomes.

  85. At 08:41 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi all - again
    Sorry - I've only just read the majority of the comments. Tracey -Ann - I hope all went well at the doctor's. So you know about the Yahoo Groups for International Adoption - they are a great source of info and support!

    All the very best
    Kate
    P.S. Chris love the show and am addicted to the blog
    P.P.S For all who see references to International Adoption - please don't mention Madonna - it's a very long process that is an emotional and uncertain rollercoaster - nearly 3 years in and still maybe 6 months from parenthood.

  86. At 08:43 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Graham Philpot wrote:

    I think you're right about Schumacher Chris - what must he have thought on the final bend of the final lap - 'hang-on, there's more gas in the tank after all?'

    I think that there used to be three certainties in life in the 90s - that you would greet the nation each morning, that Manchester United would win the Premiership title, and that Michael Schumacher would win grands prix and probably the world championship.

    I guess for a broadcaster, your career can keep going for ever! But for the sportsman, what is there in life after 35ish?

    Still - they were fantastic times!

  87. At 08:44 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Catherine wrote:

    Hi Chris and all Blogees,

    A beautiful, thoughful and heartfelt blog Chris, thank you.

    Dear Tracy-Ann#3, Karen#27 and Mary#31, my thoughts are with you all and anyone else reading this and facing health scares - you know where we all are on the blog especially for the times when stuff feels hard to say, no judgements here!

    Death was something I used to dread. I'm not religious so had no real belief about what might happen afterwards. I lost 2 family members less than a year ago within 2 weeks of each other - it has been hard. Then I had some wierd experiences (don't worry won't bore you all with them) all I will say is that I have moved from being a profound cynic to being 99.9% certain that those we have lost are still around. Believe me my logic and scientific mind have tried to dismiss this frequently in the last few months but they keep coming back and providing proof after proof.

    So when the time does come, no one is alone, if no one is there physically someone is always there in spirit...

    As for music at my funeral - It has to be -
    Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb...

    Take care all
    Cx

  88. At 09:14 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Steve in portsmouth aka Trippy wrote:

    Im sure there are many listeners out there like me felt their heart stop a beat and were knocked aback when they heard of Paulies sad passing.
    We have to live life for the now not for the past. We have to look after others, treat them with utmost respect, and love. The world has lost one of the most decent of people and the way the world is going decent careing and loveing people are becoming extinct.
    I know im not the best in putting over what i mean in words i never have been but with a death of a loved one, friend or someone whom you respect there are never the right words that can ever describe feelings for them. Im sure if there is another world after this life they can hear and feel the love for them and know how each and everyone of us feels.
    There were a couple of songs that sprang to mind when thinking of Pauly one being thank you for the music by ABBA, and the other which maybe not all would of heard of is Meet on the ledge by Fairport Convention.
    I will stop waffling on now, but many thanks Chris for dedicating the show to Paul.
    Keep up the good work Chris, tis good to see and heard you back on the waves and screen, I never listened to any of that rubbish published in the media.
    Cheers
    Trippy

  89. At 09:43 PM on 23 Oct 2006, sensor wrote:

    la
    st
    what a bout 1 tune on your show every day totally brilliant tho rarely heard, as a tribute to your late friend. no need to big it up just 3plus minutes of class. just a thought

  90. At 09:43 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Sandra H wrote:

    Hi All, I was halfway down reading the postings, I stopped and rang my mum up in the North West. Just 10 mins, that's all, her & dad are fine but I just needed to phone......they're getting on in years & you just never know...you have to make the time even if it's only short.
    Yes, we do have conversations about 'when that time comes' & it gets a little easier to broach the subject now. My best friend died 3 years ago, before this she had made jokes about what kind of coffin she wanted but we had never really taken her seriously...but her family did what she wanted for the funeral & I'm sure she was happy with the result....
    I love this blog, I feel like I've made new friends out there! To all the girls/fellas waiting for news from the Docs, fingers crossed for good news. Nite Nite xx

  91. At 10:00 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Kate R wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Have been reading your blogs for a few weeks now and am thorughly enjoying them(first time I have written though)

    Your blog today touched a bit of a nerve with me because unfortunatley my mother and I do not get on at all, and I woud love to have a mother, daughter relationship but have finally realised that after all my attempts and efforts to put this right she will never be that kind,warm,loving mother that I so crave.( won't be getting a warm tasty stew from her,put it that way!!)

    Can I borrow yours just for a weekend she sounds great!! Is she on her own? I might have a dodgy mum but my dad's on his own and fantastic!!

    Take care

    Kate R xxxx

  92. At 11:25 PM on 23 Oct 2006, wrote:

    Hi Chris,
    I've been meaning to check out the blog since I first heard you mention it. I listen to radio 2 every day; tomorrow like every other day I will look forward to the shows on 2 they never fail to make me smile. First there will be Sarah, (who gets me moving in the morning鈥 along with the senokot! Her honeyed tones of witty ruminating will ring out like an old friend; you鈥檙e never alone when Sarah鈥檚 on. Tomorrow as I do most mornings I鈥檒l be pulling on pants and tackling that floaty dress that looked better in the shop or hiding my excesses with a big sweater that鈥檚 seen better days whilst simultaneously eating my porridge and feeding the cat, (I multi-task). Later, when I 鈥榤 on the M62 you know..? the north鈥檚 foremost traffic jam, I鈥檒l have the pleasure of Terry quaffing bacon butties and reading Janet and John (he can multi-task too!). It鈥檚 a pleasure to watch my fellow travellers through the rear window of my car I can tell just by the way they are smiling they are listening to Terry and the team , Oh! how we shall miss the lovely Pauly, as a tribute I shall shake off my inhibitions tomorrow and give my weary fellow travellers a wave. Some will think I鈥檓 bonkers and others鈥ell who cares I鈥檒l do it any way. Much later if I'm lucky I get to hear you鈥檙e infectious, and, in my opinion, inspirational chat, (you obviously love life) if only we could emulate your happy disposition, what a tonic to universal depression that would be.

    Aparently, I saw you once, in a restaurant in London, my girlee friends and I were celebrating finishing our MSc in REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) we were all very drunk and hogging your booked table. I was wearing my favourite red dress, funny how after fourteen red wines you loose your sense of rationality, after all, there was me shamelessly thinking I was Marilyn M, champers glass precariously close to slopping you as you stood within inches of me, of course I鈥檓 sorry I didn鈥檛 recognise you, despite my girlee friends hissing and making rude Italian gesticulations, I just went on and on and on to my rational onlookers, extolling the virtues of olives, pitta and humus as if I was the only person in the world who had ever eaten the sainted foodstuffs. Oh! God, the shame of it :) Since then despite my lack of decorum in your presence, its ok you didn鈥檛 recognise me either, I鈥檝e had the pleasure of your company every day, and for once Chris you and your fellow bloggers have stopped me working tonight. I鈥檝e discovered a little window through which I am reminded that life is fun and to short to miss out on, so I thank you for this opportunity and I wish you all a happy, happy and blogging time.

    Marie x

  93. At 11:55 PM on 23 Oct 2006, Nicole wrote:

    Hello Chris.... I have been meaning to thank you all year for keeping me company on New Year's Eve. I am sorry it has taken this long for me to send my thanks and I hope that your brilliant blog is an acceptable format in which to do this ! (Should I have sent a letter perhaps?)
    I had never spent a New Year's Eve on my own in my entire life until 2005 and then, for reasons I won't bore you with; I found myself at home , working on my computer at 11pm on December 31st 2005 ,so in the need of human contact I tuned in to Radio 2 . Your show was so great. You spoke to people having parties and to people on their own and you got the two to speak to each other . It was all so genuine and real and so non-patronising. You spoke of how your Mum was at home listening and you sounded really quite sober(?) and yet completely happy and FULL of party spirit ! I was so lonely that night, but you and your show made me smile many times and most of all you gave me absolute hope that, not only would next New Year's Eve be better; but TOMORROW would be better ! Thank you Chris and thank you for all you do and what you believe in ...Nicole x

  94. At 06:10 PM on 24 Oct 2006, ruth wrote:

    hello mr. Here goes.... I have finally decided to contact you because reality tells me you are not going to fly in and land on my sofa. Coincidently when I read your blogg there was mention of sofas and also the belief that we must grab life and extract from it what we can. Yes I am a random girl but hey, not just any girl. Have listened to you since the days of the virgin breakfast show when you would talk about all the stuff my friends and I would always talk about too. We always imagined meeting up with you guys in the pub and having a right good laugh together.
    Really hope you don't think I am a weirdo but I have got a feeling :) Would love to meet up with you for that drink after all these years of it just being a dream. What do you think? Worse case a night out with a like minded relatively normal girlie, best case, well who knows. Can't belive I am going to send this but I have had 2 pints of guiness with an added splash of tia maria, delicious :) p.s would like to send a photo but cant attach, please help[. You could call me, which would of course would freak me out. Will forward no. with photo. Presumptious Ruth x

  95. At 12:06 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Emma wrote:

    Hi Chris,

    Your words really brought a tear to my eye. I don't see my mum often because I don't speak to my father - so it is awkward. I miss her and try to contact her as often as possible but it is quite difficult for her to keep in touch. I always felt sorry for myself in this situation, but having read some of the postings on your site, I think that is very selfish. I still have my health, friends, happiness and a successful job and my Mum knows that I love her. Thanks for the perspective Chris - I listen to you every day - as you always bring a smile to my face.
    Emma

  96. At 10:58 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Helen wrote:

    Hi everyone!

    A 1st time blogger here. I have read with great interest but never wanted to join in via my keyboard before.

    I have been truly moved by Chris' words today. My mum is my rock. She is 80 years young and has not been in the best of health recently. I worry terribly about what will happen when the only sure thing in this life happens! My dad is still alive and is wonderful too. He looks after mum each day and also finds time to make me feel like I am still that little girl that he needs to look after.

    The words were very special. Just when I think, selfishly, that I am the only person going through these thoughts, you have made me realise that there an awful lot of very special mum's out there.

    If you could read this mum and dad, I love you heaps, and thank you for all you have done for me over the past 42 years 9 months! I may have let you both down at times, for which I am sorry, but I hope that you are proud of what I have achieved.

    I love you both!

    Thanks Chris and everyone. ;o)

  97. At 01:12 AM on 28 Oct 2006, sunshine Joe wrote:

    I love my mum too. I dont fear death, I just dont want to do it yet.

  98. At 05:52 PM on 02 Nov 2006, Antwill wrote:

    Brill Blog Chris
    My mum shed this mortal coil at 51 when I was 17 she raised 7 kids never drank or smoked yet my Grand Mother drank whiskey ever day raised 3 Kids married twice and lived until she was 104 Its not death that scares me but life. good luck

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