DIDN'T WATCH IT LAST NIGHT, MY LIFE IS NO WORSE FOR IT, I AM NO POORER AS A PERSON, IN FACT I HAD AN EARLY NIGHT, DID MY BELOVED CROSSWORD IN BED WITH THE NEW MRS. E. HAD A GREAT NIGHT'S KIP AND HAVE BEEN UP SINCE SIX AND AM ALREADY ROCKING
See what happens when...
... you let a viewer down. They realise they have a life and then they never come back.
This is what happened to Eastenders and Corrie and Saturday night telly. Let someone down once and they don't know if they can trust you anymore, let them down regularly and you'll never see them again.
Consistency in business is everything. If you're not in the mood don't turn up, no one wants to see that. If you "have" to turn up - make yourself in the mood, or get someone else to go instead and owe them a favour.
Just be the best, what's the point in not being the best, even if your best is nowhere near tas good as the next guy's...., people will see what you're up to and help you get along and never be afraid to ask for help, what's the big deal with that ? If I don't know something I'll always ask for help, people love being asked for help, it makes them feel valued and respected and in turn they will realise that you're not the kind of person that will put your ego and pride before what's the right thing to do.
It's all so so so simple.
Have a nice day, I have rarely witnessed such a beautiful morning, GLORIOUS is the word.
God bless all.
CLP 2007,.
X/.
Comments
Hi Chris,
I didn't watch it either, I went to book group with some lovely girls I don't often see but who are a really nice bunch of people, we talked about the book for a while and then got onto my favourite subject (Daniel Craig). Yesterday was another difficult day with son number 1 and the book club girls gave me lots of good advice and I came home feeling much better (and without the aid of alcohol, I was on fizzy orange all night).
I find sometimes I watch stuff like Big Brother and Hell's Kitchen because there's nothing better on, when what I should do is switch off and read or do a sudoku. Isn't it funny how many people are fed up with all the dross on TV and yet the viewing figures for these things are still relatively high. Maybe we should all make a pact to switch off for a month, you never know it might catch on! Obviously I'd have to tape Jimmy's Farm............!
Em xx
Quite right Chris,
What is the point of not doing your best, or at least trying.
Keep up the good work.
Peace Love and Understanding
Chris
Chris, your lust for life is infectious!!!
Love you mate!!
xxxxxxxxxx
Christophe - I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about - so obviously I missed 'it' also. Morning all - thick fog here in Northshire.
Haricot vert
Good morning everyone,
I think that HK does exactly what it says on the tin. It isn't to be taken seriously and the viewing figures will speak for themselves.
I will still watch it for light, easy entertainment. Although all the 'celebrities' irritate me, MPW makes it worth the effort.
Jim Davidson was a harmless fool really, from a era where he wouldn't have offended many. There are people like him in pubs all over the country sharing the same views with like minded people. He and Brian admitted that in normal circumstances they would not even talk to each other in a pub. So it isn't Reality TV at all is it? It is the absolute opposite of reality. Personally I think that if you know your opinion will upset somebody, it's best to keep it to yourself. Not anything to do with Political Correctness just plain old fashioned good manners.
Debbie x
PS. Phoned CAB, they are not taking on any more debt cases at the moment. I have to go tomorrow and collect a Debt Pack and read through it. Sat and had a cry at my desk, now feeling really stupid! x
I knew I should have gone to bed and tried to finish the crossword rather than watch HK. That has reminded me the newsagent has delivered the wrong paper today - an unfamiliar crossword is no good.
Did enjoy the lobster prep by MPW last night but the rest is dragging a bit. Oh well let's hope England play OK tonight so I am not tempted to turn over!
Nev
Hi Chris,
Very inspiring words. And I do agree - be the best you can be ...... not always easy, but it's the way to go.
As for you ditching HK, what people in Television Land have to realise is that you can only fool people up to a point. When viewers realise they are having their chains pulled, they will vote with their remote controls and that's the end of that. Well done Chris!
Have a good Wednesday one and all - don't know why, but this feels like quite a long week for me so far!
C xx
Morning all!
I didn't watch any tv until 10pm last night! Was doing lots of other things - more digging in the garden (I'm starting to think I'm a mole!) - whilst a friendly robin hung around watching me sweat and toil....
Woke up this morning at 6.30am thinking that it was 4am - it was so dark...! And to make no sense of autumn - Christmas decorations have been spotted in a shop over here....just for sale..but still...I have October and November to enjoy yet!
Tickle :)
((((Debbie)))) - there was something on t'radio yesterday about CAB taking on over 6,000 new debt cases a day and they're desperate for more volunteers. So you're not alone, if that's any consolation at all.
Tickle - yep, our 'seasonal goods' aisles in the well known supermarkets are not selling watering cans or bbq equipment, as hoped, but Selection Boxes & Xmas puddings! ARGH!!!
Txx
Didn't watch it last night because I watch 'Tribe' and Bruce Parry religiously. Did my degree in Anthropology and LOVE his interactive approach. Man's a genius. Only trouble is now tourist companies are offering trips to do the same as him.... Kind of misses the point I feel.
Also, the Tanzanian Tribe of Hunter/gatherers he was with last night have real problems hunting meat these days because so many tourists come game hunting. Rather than looking at carbon footprints perhaps we could also look at the west's impact on other nations and other ways of life...
My rant over...
jx
Hi Chris,
I didn't watch it either - have you seen Top Chef on one of the sky channels - the new series is very good.
I saw the second part of Silent Witness which was extremely well made and interesting.
I also saw part of Paranormal Egypt - with Derek Acorah by the great pyramid - did I learn anything new - nope, was I expecting anything new - well it was better than watching other sides at the time.
Off back to work
Phoenix
Greetings CLP & ALL Blog Friends,
Bingo Star ere.
Christoof you've 'it it right on the 'ead.
I couldn't 'ave said it better meself man.
The only thing you've spelt wrocking wrong. It's WR at the start not R.
But hey i'm easy!!!!!
The main thing is that you are 'WROCKING'!
I used ter be a big corrie fan. I used ter love top capricorn operative Ken Morley aka shop manager extraordinar Reginold Holdsworth. Remember when corrie was on Tue and Thur.
I could watch it then - 'alf an 'our each shoe, sorry show, full of 'umour and love!
THEN, what der they try ter do. Force me ter watch it, Sun, Mon, Wed, Fri. Then they want me ter watch it in bits all night damn long. 19:30 for 'alf an 'our. Then again 20:30 while they 'ave a little competition with Eastenders ter see who can get the highest ratings - 'ave thee forguten about the viewer?
I've got better things ter do with me life than spend every night of me week watching Corrie and being used as a ratings football.
That's why I don't watch it any more and as for Eastenders - total missery and rubbish. AND I think these miserable programmes are damaging society by pumping peoples minds with filth, violence, bad manners etc, etc.
It 'as an effect on easily influence people - oh yes, oh yes blog operatives!!!!
Look at The Bill. It used ter be 'alf an 'our of fun. Abit of 'oumour and a ploice investigation/ incidentation that yer kids could laugh at. Remember another Reg in the Bill. The banter between Reg and Pc Stamp. Now there probally trying ter jig each other and while on duty of 'er majesty!!!!
Also now - you've got ploice killing ploice. Pc getting off with pc and even incest!!! It's gone too far blog friends. TV iz destroying society!!!
We used ter make fun of Mary Whitehouse but she 'ad a strong point!!!!!
I'm off on one now - am tellin yer!!!!
Where's me DAMN pen i'm goona write ter Sir Tezza Logan aka Points Of View dude..... RIGHT DAMN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!>>>>>>>>>>>!
CLP yerv sent me over the edge terday...... were's the Priory clinics number>>>>>>>
Chow!
PS I'd just like ter say CLP yer mentioned last night that many thought your great show, that by the way yer kids CAN listen too in safety, was gonna be in the toilet.
NOT ME friend. I thought yer show would be great as long as you turned up - munch two, munch two!!!!
I've always known that the toilet is situated along a corridor away from your operational centre aka The Studio!!!!!
Em M - so glad your friends have given you some ideas about helping your son. It's such a relief when someone else understands!
Debbie - sorry to hear about the CAB, but all is not lost! Have a look on Jeremy Vine's page on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ website - look at the Links section - Money Saving Expert. This is a terrific guy who regularly shows up on Jeremy's show. Bring up his page, under Cards & Loans - there is a whole section on debt management and who to contact. You should find it o.k.
You will get help, just hang in there.
C xx
God & the wizards bless you too....
I'd rather listen to radio 2 all day any way..
telly is getting worse and worse...
And..you can take radio with you where ever you
go..
can't do that with telly...
We having glorious weather , i went blackberry
picking along the river yesterday, beautiful.
De x
#13
Debbie- the Martin Lewis money saving expert
site is brilliant..
Me again!
Bingo Star - brilliant post! (only thing is, Corrie was on Mon & Wed, but that's a minor point).
I agree with every word and you must make a point of writing to Points of View - I am so looking forward to hearing Sir Terry read your letter word for word - am tellin' yer!
C xx
CLP - couldn't agree more!
I used to watch lots and lots of TV. Was, in fact, founder of the Couch Potato Society. Then, when hubby and I separated, I actually started 'doing things' instead of watching TV. I stopped drinking as much, stopped eating TV snacks and lost lots and lots of weight, resulting in having an even busier life than previously.
I do still watch TV, but not very much and, amazingly, considering there are two kids in the house, there are evenings when the TV's not turned on at all! When I do watch it now, I enjoy it, because I am 'selective' about my viewing, rather than allowing complete dross to take over my living room.
With regard to giving your best, I completely agree. "If a job's worth doing...". I am struggling with this at the moment, as a supplier I am working with is struggling to deliver the level of service they have promised, with wide reaching ramifications. My team have repeatedly offered help, as the supplier's failures are also our failures. Unfortunately, end users (or a TV audience) cannot simply go away or change suppliers, so the hard work and pain continues for all.
As for all you lovely blogging type people, I hope you're all well. I am trying to keep up to date with everything, but am rather stretched at present.
As always, I do hope you're all well, although I understand La Love has been/is poorly.
Debbie - xx.
Lots of sloppy stuff,
S xx.
Couldn't agree more!
If more people voted with their TV remote then I reckon it would force the programme producers to give us something worthy of our intelligence!
Couldn't agree more!
If more people voted with their TV remote then I reckon it would force the programme producers to give us something worthy of our intelligence!
PS - it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm going to have a solo meal in my local pub. Can't drink too much as have "Mad Friday" at work where have to be really on the ball all day and then got to drive to Guildford early Saturday for sister's party; she has hijacked my birthday weekend to celebrate her 50th... Is that fair!!!
jx
Re #17
when you switch telly off...its amazing how much time you find you have.....
very liberating
Actually last night was an improvement, MPW demonstrating more of his talent than usual, and as the numbers working in the kitchen dwindle we should be seeing a lot more of him, I hope! I will be missing it tonight as the football has won the daily battle of the channels in our house - which is fair....... This may be the only time MPW is on TV so for that reason I will return to watch it and ignore the bickering between 'celebs' and hold out for the good educational bits.
Debbie - I agree with ChrissieS (13) and Q (15), Martin's website is very informative, register for the free weekly letter and make sure you read through relevant threads, also there's lots of inspirational readers who have reduced their debts substantially in a short time. Good Luck!
JoJo
x
I have checked out that website, I recognise him from 'This Morning' or 'GMTV'. Had a quick look through and yes, it does seem very helpful so I've emailed it to my husband. Thanks x
The weather here has been as nice as it could be, one and all.
Still on the subject of TV. I don't watch alot, usually find myself on UK Gold mainly.
I have to admit to quite enjoying some reality shows. I suppose it all started with Bruce at the London Pallidium doing Beat the clock and of course Crackerjack with those harilous little plays in and between. They had me in stiches..... not.
Still, when I was very very young I had to sit through Dixon of Dock Green and the Black and White Minstrel Show.
You know on reflection, I think I prefer the X factor and Ant and Dec.
Bingo don't talk to me about Spooky.Could write a book.
Where is HL and who is Q . I used to be Q.
Good day
Debbie - I have been reading the blog for the last few days and wanted to say that I can sympathise with your situation completely, through my partner's recent financial problems.
The CAB have been completely overwhelmed but we have recently been in touch with the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (www.cccs.co.uk) who were very, very helpful. Others on the blog might have already mentioned them to you so I apologise if you've already been in touch with them.
Please don't feel that you are alone, and if you haven't already done so, please give CCCS a call or at least take a look at their website ..... getting in touch with them was the best thing my partner could have done. They are a charity and are very experienced in these matters.
Good luck xx
((Debbie))
I work for the National Association of CABx and there is a website that they have that has a section of debt. It's www.adviceguide.org.uk - a dedicated person at a bureau might not be able to help you out at the moment but the website should help.
As for CLP - I prefer to listen to the radio than watch TV!! Have never watched Hell's Kitchen and feel I am not missing out!!
Alison x
I caught the end on Monday night and I completely agree - not going to bother again. My weakness, however, is Brothers and Sisters! Not popular with Mr D.
There are so many more stimulating things to do - like reading, studying, and of course listen to the radio!
I always do my best at work and I am very self motivated. Why is everyone not like that?
Happy Hump Day blog-dudes.
TV, chefs, reality shows .... wow, today's Blog is right up my (Coronation) street!
TV chefs: I'm loving MPW on HK. Yes, I agree it went a bit panto with the Jim/Brian issues but last night seemed to get back on track a bit. The prep and cooking of the lobster was great - made me want to try it at home, if only lobsters weren't so darned expensive!
Nigella: have probs watching her but have almost all of her books. My life would not be complete without her "Domestic Goddess" bible. Cakes and bakes to die for. But watching her is another matter ...
Jamie - gone off him of late. Boots and too big for spring to mind.
James Martin - too big headed. Ditto for Ainsley, AWT, Gary Rhodes.
I really like Gino Di Campo and Marcus Wareing - you can see their respect and love of food is real and not an act for the cameras. If anything, Marcus Wareing is a bit shy of the limelight.
Brian Turner ... uses far too much butter, lard, cream etc for my liking.
Gordon - love him to bits. So commanding!
Moving on. Reality TV. Always watched BB but missed the start this year so didn't bother with it at all. And d'ya know what, I survived!! I'm still alive. I had a summer. I enjoyed summer evenings on the allotment and sitting outside the local instead of being home by 9 for BB.
Love The Restaurant - yes, it's like The Apprentice but some of the candidates are so weak, one wonders how they got thru the selectiom process in the first place. I'm sure myself and Mr Diva would fare much, much better. Perhaps we could have a blog team if there's another series?
Bloggers Bistro!
Yikes - I'm rambling now!
Soaps: used to watch them all - Eastenders, Brookie, Neighbours, Corrie, Eldorado, Albion Market - without fail. Now only watch Corrie. The thing that made laugh this week was the tv guide said of Eastenders ... Phil falls off the wagon. I've not seen EE's for AGES and this was roughly the plot when I last heard the drastic drums at the end going dum dum dum dum ...
I love quiz shows. University Challenge and Egg Heads are amongst my faves.
Oh - and don't forget Come Dine With Me on Ch4. Shame it's on at such a lousy time as it deserves prime time placing.
Finally, Jimmy's Farm. Fab. Brilliant. It's only up the road from me and I went to the Christmas farmers market there last December. The place was buzzing. Jimmy and Michaela have worked wonders and I can hand on heart recommend a visit if you're ever passing by!
Right, let's see if this gets posted.
CtD, saying byeeeeeeeeeee x x
PS: Chubby Club tonight - yikes!
I'm sitting here looking through Martin Lewis' website and found his blog. Guess what - he went to Hell's Kitchen for dinner the other night! Love it or hate it, you just can't get away from it can you! It makes quite funny reading actually, worth a look.
That's given me a bit of a giggle, trying to find out how to sort out our debts and end up reading that.......off now, better got on with some work.
Debbie x
Ello All,
Bingo Star yet again ere.
ChrissieS #16 - glad yer appreciated me commentations.
Yer say me Corrie days are mixed up, that's me point - i'm totally confused - I ain't know when anythings on anymore, because they keep changing the damn days & times etc.
It ends up being a stress just trying ready ter watch these programmes.
Prof. Plum #24 - SPOOKY (Ref ter me 911 comment ter other day) - Why do you 'ave connections with the other side, the supernatural!
The only time i've 'ad connections with the supernatural was in the organic section of me supermarket - abit over priced though!!!!!
Chow!
my my gosh did not have waffel on up there--chris must be the excitement of being married
Anonymous and Alison P, everyone who has helped, thank you. Every single bit of advice so much appreciated and will be followed up.
Really MUST do some work now!
Back later.
Debbie xx
Yo All,
Bingo Star again,
I keep forgetting ter say, god knows 'ow I could forget though.....
Talkin' of very good tv.... did anyone see the David Gilmour concert from the Royal Albert Hall. (´óÏó´«Ã½1 Saturday night)
Amazing performance - it just inspires me ter practise me guitar harder.
I can't tell yer 'ow much I like his guitar playing and style of unrushed music - abit like Carlos Santana!!!!!
Chow!
Happy Hump Day!
Who cares if some people want to watch TV and others want to go to bed early? ... what's great about this life is that we all have the option to do whatever it is we want to do. Lucky ole CLP gets an early night with his new missus, some of us would love to find that someone that would make us want to have an early night but that doesn't mean that watching a bit of mindless telly is a bad thing.
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Bingo
As you know Prof Plum was a suspect in the game Cleudo.
Cleudo was the first real game I ever had well apart from Snakes and Ladders. I have an interest in the paranormal, conspiracy theories and a gift for reading the future.
I suppose you could really call me a sort of Miss Marple.
I think the term Organic foodby the way, is vastley overated. If they called it Grown in S...t would people be so keen to buy it.
Adios
Hello Blog Fiends
Apols for recent absences but really I've found I've had little to contribute and have just enjoyed being a bystander!
Baby not arrived yet but there's still 2 weeks and 6 days to go (not that I'm counting).
Well, since I stopped work I've got a nice little routine going, get up at 7:20, breakfast with the husband, wave him off to work with the dog, fuss the dog a bit, get dressed etc, print off sudoku form The Times website, crank the pod up to ASBO levels and by the time I've finished and had a bit of a read and done a few house jobs it's probably about lunch time, lunch, start on tea then the husbands almost back home. No telly throughout the day - I find that if I have the telly on in the day I just stay in front of it - it's so easier to just not turn it on!
I heard something interesting this morning regarding scientists which has cropped up on the blog occasionally. Something about an ethical code for scientists.. At Bloody Last I say - here's hoping that all scientists are made to sign up, then get struck off for accepting industry bribes or reporting some of the truth but leaving other bits out. Scientists should report all the facts, regardless of what they mean for the research funders....
Off the soap box now!
Hope you are all well
:o) Jo
Dya know you're damn right.
And if I can just add, if you had watched it last night as I did (well, a bit of it anyway, in between yakkin' on t' phone), you'd have seen what happens when people are given praise and encouragement as opposed to being bullied.
The result is that a happy, confident atmosphere ensues and the results startlingly fruitful.
I always try to encourage my little band of elves and pick up on their good points. That's why my little team gets results and the other teams can't quite understand how it happens without my threatening hell fire and brimstone.
I well remember working in one of the major fashion houses, which shall be nameless, but the boss was the most dreadful woman since Lucrezia Borgia. I was drafted in to support a fantastic young new designer who the board had brought in to inject a little fresh blood into the designs.
Said woman and her equally repellent sidekick used to systematically bully her and most days she was to be found crying in the toilets. Hence I was summoned. Now, the point is that I didn't give a stuff if I was sacked since I was only on a short-term contract to begin with, and it was hard work what with the commuting; so I did what I do best and stood up for Lizzy at every turn, and MADE HER LAUGH. Consequently, her performance soared, much to the chagrin of the Wicked Witches.
I think-well, I know- the women in question bloody HATED me but ask me if I'm bothered.
Lizzy and I remain good friends to this day, and she fondly recalls those times and refers to me as Boadicea. Hurrah.
Now then.
What you were asking, CLP, about Who wears the trousers in a nudist relationship, reminded me of being on holiday in southern Spain with the Dear Departed Father when it was brought to his attention that just further round the cliffs was a nudist town.
"Eric, you should see it," laughed the brother-outlaw. "Everybody walks round absolutely starkers, even in the village, the bank, etc. Marvellous."
Eric looked livid. Rugger bugger he may have been but in a house full of girls (even the dog was a bitch) he had some body issues and was a bit like Barbie's Ken. Had his underpants welded on.
"I'm not fond of THAT." He boomed. "Anyway, what do you do if you want to find a policeman?"
Raucous laughter ensued before the brother-outlaw replied, "That's easy, Eric; he'll still have his truncheon with him."
Hahaha.
Right I'm not tellin' any more stories about the Dear Departed Father. I'm boring meself now.
Clodagh.xx
Clodagh: don't you dare stop the stories of your Dear Departed Father - they are hilarious. And through these stories, even though none of us knew him, you are keeping his memory alive. I think that's wonderful.
Jo - what a lovely wee routine you have - enjoy these peaceful times - it may get a little more hectic fairly soon!
BigBump - glad you are o.k. You must have had a bit of a scare, but sounds like everything is fine!
Sorry, I have been on here about 90 times today. I'll be going home soon, promise!
C xx
Hi guys and Girls
Em M- meant to post you yesterday, the shoes were from New Look and so so so comfortable. Hope your son is ok today. I remember when started a new school I hated it and never really liked school (left straight after GCSE). When is parents eve? That might be handy if its coming soon.
MFR- love Rick Stein. Would so love to go to his restaurant despite not liking fish. The French Odessey series was my dads and my favourite.
Debbie- Sending you big hugs. Maybe try going to CAB in person. I think some times it almost depends on who picks up the phone. And don't worry about having a cry. I always used to! Just get the info set aside an evening and sit down with a cup of tea and take notes of what you can be doing. I have become even more of a list maker since having my benefit troubles (as some will know I was bad before). Just stay focused and get as much as advice as possible.
Citizens Adivce went really well. Apparently doing everything right. I am trying not to think about monday too much as will just get nervous. Did my Tai Chi yesterday and it helped to calm me down.
Right now off to listen to the show. missy x
very well put chris i couldnt have said it better....its not the dog in the fight its the fight in the dog...if you fail to prepare you must prepare to fail......the tv does have an off button.
That was simply outstanding. What a great way to look at life. I try to but I don't always manage it. I am getting better however. Definately a market for a book of the thoughts of chairman Evans
That was simply outstanding. What a great way to look at life. I try to but I don't always manage it. I am getting better however. Definately a market for a book of the thoughts of chairman Evans
JK Nonegreen
Debbie.
Please don't feel stupid. Being in debt is the most horrible situation to be in and it's scandalous, really, that you should be told by the CAB that they can't help you and just tossing you back with a pile of paperwork. I'm so angry for you about that.
As you can see, you've loads of support and empathy out there and it's massively to your credit that you're facing up to things.
But can I say something.
Your biggest demon seems to me to be the support you're receiving close to home. You can't sort this out for both of you alone and if you're not pulling together and communicating properly it's, well, one hand clapping.
Forgive me if I'm mistaken sweetheart, in fact I hope I am and that himself is as focussed on the problem as you are. But it seems to me that maybe it's not the case.
It's all too easy to develop money problems these days because we try to fill a void in our lives by acquiring THINGS. God knows, we're targeted enough by the media and the Retail industry. Spending money can give you a buzz and a feeling of power... at the time. Then the payback-literal and emotional- kicks in, and the result is guilt, shame and hopelessness.
So be assured that you're not alone, that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we're all rooting for you. Hey, I'm guessing most of us have been there.
Just take a look at where the problem stems from in the first place, back up the truck a bit and then hold your head up high and be true to yourself. Take everyone's advice and tips, they make sense. And follow your instincts.
You'll do it.
Good luck sweetheart.
Clodagh.xx
Clodagh,
The accuracy of your post is frightening. I am too afraid to try and discuss our debt problem, or indeed any of our problems with my husband.
Here is what troubles me. All bills are in my husbands name, we do have a joint mortgage. He got all but one of the credit cards out without me knowing. We have a consolidated loan secured against the mortgage that I guess I must have signed for as well but as much as I try I don't remember. I have basically just signed whatever he asks, trusting him to be doing the right thing. I have to now accept responsibility for that. There is so much more to it, but I would bore you with the details.
When I phoned CAB and she asked me the amount of debt, I genuinely didn't know. How ridiculous is that! All he wants to do is sell and rent, he knows that it cost thousands just to sell!
Sunday, things reached boiling point for me when he was being so short tempered with our little boy. I considered asking CAB about my rights and what to do if we separated. Where and how would I live etc.
I do love him and at the moment I am blaming stress for our troubles but unsure if I'm making excuses. Either way this must be resolved.
I have had a rough year or so, and I believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just been a blooming long tunnel, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. People out there have far worse to deal with and I feel like I'm going on now. Sorry.
I'm going to CAB tomorrow to collect this pack, read what it has to say and take it from there. Tomorrow night I will make him face this, sit with me and go through the bills.
I will definately do this. Maybe I'm stronger than I think. Fingers crossed.
Thank you for your time and support.
Love Debbie xx
debbie dearest we seem to spend money we cant afford on crap we dont need mrs lazy is just the same....minimilist is the new 40 no matter what happens it could be worse..... smile he said it could be worse...so i did and it was...a little jest from me.
Debbie - having been horribly 'up to my ears' in it before I feel for you. Clodagh's posting was spot on (and lovely).
The harsh reality - which you already seem to have faced - is that you both need to sit down and be honest, get out the calculator add it all up, take a deep breath together and press the = button.
Then, and only then will you both be able to move forward, possibly with the occasional sideways or backward step!
As for the seperation thing, I don't think I should comment on something that personal. Only you know how you feel about that. But... there'll always be a bag full of help and advice on here whatever you decide.
I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world. I came through from horrendous money troubles. Stories that even today make me shudder and still embarrass me. I went for CAB help and spoke to people I trusted, after the shambles that was a debt solution firm!!! The light at the end of that tunnel could well be nearer than you think?
Love and xxx's
KWx
Mogan one and all.
I think more people than ever are facing debt.
The invention of the credit card has probably been to blame.
Iv'e had times of money crisis and I got a hell of a kick making do. What you can't buy you don't need. Good luck Debbie.
(((Debbie))) hugs again. Clodagh, Gingembre and others have said it all much better than I ever could. I'm on my own with my daughter (although I do have a partner, we don't live together and are totally financially separate) and I am having a continual struggle to keep my head above water financially, but I know that I'm sort of in control.
I have a friend who was in a very similar situation to yours by the sounds of it. Her husband was getting into loads of debt with credit cards without her knowing - they split up in the end. It's a really tricky one and every relationship is different - but you need to get him to be honest with you. And if he won't be, I really would advise seeing a solicitor and getting some advice about how you go about sorting it all out - you need to know your rights about the house, etc, because you need to make sure you have a home for you and your son.
I have everything crossed that he sees sense and just opens up to you so that you can sort it out together.
And don't ever feel like you're 'going on' - that's why this blog is lovely, we can have a laugh, or we can have a moan, and everyone will be here for us whatever. (Sorry if that sounds corny guys!!)
T xxxxx
Debbie - anonymous # 25 again
My partner's money problems occurred when he was earning very good money and the credit card companies were throwing stupid credit limits at him, although he didn't necessarily want or need them. By the time we got together he was managing fine, but he was then made redundant. He got another job, but the salary was nowhere near what he'd been on before and so began the slippery slope.
Luckily for us we've always kept separate bank accounts for no other reason than it seemed a lot of hassle to change things. This, for us, has turned out to be very lucky. The only way forward for my partner in the end was to declare himself bankrupt, rather than wait for a creditor to do it for him, and because we have no assets (rented house, cars bought and paid for), it's been the sensible solution for him. In 12 months time, or even less, he will be discharged. In the meantime, he has to manage on his meagre salary, but with no opportunity for a credit card, cheque book or overdraft facility, if he hasn't got the money, he can't spend it.
I'm behind him 100% because it could so easily be any one of us. He knows he spent beyond his means, but for a long time he was earning enough to pay his bills etc .....
Bankruptcy is not a soft option. It is embarrassing having to declare to a complete stranger that you cannot manage your money, you have to go to a court and have your lifestyle scrutinised, and the shame that my partner has felt has been immense, but the relief of not having to rob Peter to pay Paul and to know that at the end of 12 months he can walk away with a clean slate is what has kept him going through all of this.
I'm not for a minute suggesting that this is the route that your husband would want to take, but it's like any addiction or problem - you have to admit that there is a problem in the first place before anything can be done to help.
I wish you so much support and I really hope that with your love and help, your husband will be willing and able to face up to the truth. I will say that my partner felt unable to do this for a while until, in his words, he felt so overwhelmed by it all that it was either that or just pack up and run away, and he didn't want to do that to me or his family.
I hope you find the strength that you need to make the right decisions for you and your family.
Sorry if I've rambled on! xx
My husband has been here and read everything that I have been saying. I just received a text from him telling me so. Everything from the funeral situation, my mum's comments to the posts over debts. This is just awful now. He said that he is finding somewhere else to live. that I will have to leave the blog now. I don't know what I can say to him now. I feel sick.
I suppose I will have to leave the blog now.
He will probably read this too.
Thanks for all of your support.
Love Debbie x
Happy Thirsty Thursday everyone!
Important announcement: Happy Birthday j! Hope you have a lovely day even though your birthday meal will be solo - awww!
Thought I would let you know that I have heard from MWK - we haven't seen her for a while. She had a wee bit of a setback from her op, but she's getting better and will be back with us soon! x
Tinsel - not at all corny. This blog has been such a help for so many of us over the last year and no judgements being made, it is a fabulous place.
C xx
Debbie I hope he reads this one then....
...I hope you have read Debbie's worries and very soon realise that you need to be honest firstly with yourself and then with Debbie. She obviously loves you dearly and is beyond herself. It says a lot that she needed to come here, as you were unable to listen to her and admit responsibility for your actions.
I hope that you do not take this personally as quite obviously I do not know either of you. Please sort yourselves out. I've "been there done that" and it's bloomin' awful I can tell you.
Good luck to you both, and Debbie, if you really are going to leave the blog (which I hope you don't) then my heart goes out to you both for a happy ending.
KWx
PS - again, don't take this personally Mr Debbie. I have found help on here when needed, it's ok to talk x x x
I have calmed down a bit now and the shock has worn off a little.
I feel that maybe I have used the blog too much for help and support. Maybe I have been too open on here. I should be able to talk to him more I suppose.
I really don't want to leave the blog, I would miss you guys. Maybe I'll just pop in occaisionally and see how you are all doing.
Please don't be too hard on him. He is a good man and I do love him.
Debbie x
Debbie,
I genuinely feel sick myself reading your post. I am so sorry it has come to this.
To your husband, and I hope he does read this, I would say: no matter what Debbie has said here, the one obvious thing has been her love for you. Nothing that has been said has been vindictive or nasty - just the opposite.
Debbie, if only I could say something that will help. I wish you all the very best in the journey that lies ahead. We'll be thinking of you here.
Chrissie xx
i dont think everything on tv is bad at the moment you just have to be picky. I love the tribe, i watch newsnight every night and very into heroes. I am so pleased Kath and Kim is back on and cook yourself thin has got me back in the kitchen!
I just wouldnt watch the tv if nothing was on and i have stopped watching any soap or reality programme, instead i have taken up running and swimming.
I am doing a run tonight of 4 miles and am soo nervous! Only been back to running for a couple of weeks and it is very daunting!
wish me luck!
em26x
Well said Gingembre. Mr Debbie - sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers, that's why lots of us come on here - please take a deep breath and think about what Debbie is worried about. She obviously wants to sort things out, not lose you.
Tx
Debbie
Good luck to you both. Your deep love for him has come through on here in bundles.
Sorry if I was a bit knee-jerk with my last post, I genuinely wanted to help you and perhaps was a tad personal at Mr Debbie. Not my intention.
For what it's worth, I don't think you have said too much on here, you needed to get it off your chest and now you may have a chance at sorting it.
KWx
ps - HAPPY BIRTHDAY j x
Awight CLP & ALL Blog Operatives,
Bingo Star ere.
Debbie - I'm very sorry to hear all of the difficulties that your going through at the moment.
I don't know what to say to help but all I can say to try and help abit is i've been through very difficult times in the past and even now I do have problems in life but try to keep positive.
Debbie all I can say is just try to re-focus on the good things you have in life.
Look at the positives. I mean some people are totally on there own, might have terminal illness, might have lost a limb, etc, etc - whatever the situation in life, how ever hard or depressing there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes the tunnel is very long but believe me there's always that light at the end.
All i'm trying to say, is this life in my opinion is just one big test for the next.
Just try and keep the faith and it will work out good in the end.
I'm sorry I can't say anything else but I hope this hepls abit.
Take care from Bingo x.
Alwight ALL,
Bingo Star again.
On a lighter note I just wanted ter say :
A VERY BIG 'APPY BIRTHDAY to........................
SALLY BOAZMAN and J.
I've got a little birthday tune i've written but i'll bang it on the blog later - if the blog ploice don't arreast me tune!
Chow!
Debbie - I hope your husband comes to realise that it is because you love him and are worried about him and the situation he's in that you have talked to us about it, but that it's really him you want to talk to but haven't been able to.
Please don't be a stranger on this blog ......
Wishing you and your family the very best
xx
Debbie - can't really add anything that hasn't already been said by others.
Mr Debbie - I speak from the heart when I say that this blog has really, truly helped me in my dark times (quite recently actually). It's good to be anonymous at times and have "virtual friends" to offer advice and just read what you have to say. There were days when I sat at my desk literally bawling my eyes out with no-one to turn to and this blog has helped me through no end.
My very best wishes to BOTH of you. We're all here and we're all waiting to hear of your happy ending.
CtD x x x
I give up with TV too. I like certain things, Dexter, Heros, and House. That's it. and I record them and watch them at my leisure.
I've got radio, books, knitting, my lavender bags, and most importantly, my kids,
ho needs the TV
DWNB
Blimey - what a rollercoaster ride today.
Mrs AND Mr Debbie - hope you can sort it all out - seems as though you've had a really tough time of it lately and I'm sure that together, you can turn that corner and look forward to each new day again.
Saw Special Friend last night; he cooked me a lovely meal, but I went home just after 22:00, as I was cream crackered. Early night tonight - bath and bed at 21:00 is in order.
Nohting exciting going in in my life at the moment, except I really did wind Special Friend up on Sunday, and am still laughing about it.
Silly man texted me at 03:45 (YES!) on Sunday morning to let me know he'd had lots to drink (no kidding!) and that he loved me (awww bless!). Anyhow, he phoned me later that day and I thanked him for the text (actually, I didn't mind, it made me smile), at which point he denied texting me. Well, I mean, come on - far too good an opportunity to miss - isn't it? So, when he asked me what he texted, I told him he'd asked me to marry him! He was speechless - I could just imaging him doing a goldfish expression! Unfortunately, I couldn't keep my laughter under control and came clean - but thank goodness for that - the thought of it has made me giggle all week! Oh, and by the way, my mum and sister thought it funny too!
On that note, now that I am grinning again, I will leave and try to pop back later.
Muchos Lovos,
S xx.
ooh yes Bingo, I'm with you on that one - a very happy birthday to Sal & J!
T xxxxx
I am moving back from Spain to England with my wife and 3 young children I a have lived in Spain for 6 years. Can I get a house can I get a job can my children fit into school i the counrty where I was born and paid all my taxes..... What a story....NO!!!!!