WILL THEY EVER LEARN.
Todays recipe, How to ruin a great...
... television show.
Hell's Kitchen last night did what we call in tv... jumping the shark. When a show betrays the viewers who have invested in it and so turning them off.
It became Big bloody Brother. I am not interested in whether Jim Davidson is a bigot, I don't care how sensitive Brian is or pretends to be or if Anneka is a loon. I just want to be inspired by Marco and the art of cooking and some fairly well known, fairly decent people, giving it their best shot and surprising us all. I want to be left with something at the end of the whole experience that leaves me richer not poorer. I want to see stroppy customers who haven't got a clue what they're talking about being refused any more food after daring to complain and then being asked to leave.
Shirt lifters, short shrifters, we knowwwwww ! What we don't know or very often get to see, is a genius at work, it's annoyingly simple.
Also this is the vote 'em off show, where no one gets voted off, we're not bothered who's going to win. And the way the script is worded,
"Vote for your favorite to stay," something they have to say so as not to be sued by the producers of Big Brother, who invite you to vote for someone to leave.
And then, the votes having been counted, suddenly the words change to...
"The person you've decided to sack tonight is...."
How did that happen ? we weren't asked to sack anyone, we don't want to sack anyone ! Pathetic.
The makers of this show have a golden opportunity to take reality television to a new acceptable next stage but are blowing it big time. What's the point in hiring Picasso to teach you how to paint if all you then focus on is whether or not the students get on, or like each other, or fancy each other, or are really sad. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.
Ridiculous and unbelievably annoying.
Goodbye ITV, again.
CLP 2007.
X.
What a waste of a decent show, what a lazy, predictable
Comments
I agree - I have never watched BB or this show and we only watch the auditions for X-factor - evrything else is just a waste of time - especially the verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg pause before anoucing ther loser - not fair on the poor people on stage and annoys everyone watching!
other then that great - but watch very little telly at the mo - are you surprised?
Elm x
The problem, Chris, is that most people who watch ITV like that sort of thing. I agree, I thought last night's Hell's Kitchen was boring and left a nasty taste in my mouth; not really what you want from a cookery programme. I think reality TV has become so contrived, but it appears to be what the viewer wants. I like watching Jimmy's Farm, a programme featuring real people (shock horror!).
The latest in the rollercoaster that is my son's first few weeks at high school (if anyone's interested, I'm not sure I am), he had a better day yesterday and seemed quite happy going off this morning. A welcome distraction today was the two lovely four year olds i am looking after before school, they are both really sweet and my boys seemed to love having them here.
Book group tonight, the Memory Keeper's Daughter.
Em xx
Awwwww .... did I get name checked on Drivetime? I missed it! Will soneone please, please tell me in what context I got a mention.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!
Missed it because when I got home from work, Mr Diva was very happily snuggled up listening to a CD and as he started his overtime this week, I dind't have the heart to nag him into letting me put the radio on.
Hell's Kitchen: glad Jim's gone but totally agree about the BB reference, CLP. And WHAT is wrong with those celebs? Gagging and retching when asked to draw a pidgeon. Hor heaven's sake!! It's only a pidgeon.
CtD, over and out. For now.
xxxxxxx
Hi Chris,
Jolly good rant!
I cannot comment on HK because my lovely husband just loathes reality tv and refuses to watch any of it. In all honesty I would have watched HK but if I'm going to watch the box, I like to do it with my husband, so I let it go.
By the sounds of things, I made the right decision!
C xx
p.s. Have a good day everyone.
p.p.s. Good luck Debbie.
p.p.p.s. Hazel - we are missing you!
Good for you - entirely my thoughts - lets bring this nonsense down once and for all - I thought Mr. Grade promised to do rid of these crappy formats. Very disappointing indeed - it reduces the viewer to the most basic level, turns the channel into nothing more than an advert and leaves us all with a sour taste in our mouth. For once, thank God for the Beeb's strong stance . .
Here, here, Christoff, here, here . .
Alwight CLP & ALL Blog operatives,
Bingo Star ere.
I see the new blog 'as just arrived.
I think it's much better ter 'ave a 10am-ish blog CLP. It sets up the commentations as the day goes on ready for your shoe at 5pm.
CtD - I was just saying on yesterday's blog congrads on your mention at the start of last nights shoe, sorry show!!!!
Talkin' of mentions. I 'ad an embarressing mention on Century FM on Saturday from the very nice Jo Lloyd. Yer can read her blog on their website and see pics of her and her dog - centuryfm.co.uk
Jo does 'er brill Disco Divas show every Saturday night for 5 hours.
I often send in Bingo requests for tunes.
I wrote :
'Yo Jo great show, Bingo Star ere.
I've just jack-knifed me rig inter Sandbach Services ter request a tune. But don't worry there's no injuries. Any chance some Bee Gees funk groove. Chow!'
So being mischeivious she read we've just 'ad a message from Bingo Star not Ringo but the other one Bingo Star. He's written saying 'e's just had a little crash in his truck. But he says it's ok there's no injuries!!!!!!!!!
I went bright red. The whole of the NorthWest & NorthEast now think Bingo Star doesn't know how ter drive 'is truck and 'as crashed 'is truck!!!!!
A tell yer - that Jo Lloyd goodlooker is nearly as mischievious as me.
When I said jack-knifed me rig inter the services it was Bingo slang for handbraked me rig i.e. parked me rig - i'm sure Jo knew this!! LOL!
STRESS, I'm still beetroot colour know, err sorry now!!!!!
Chow!
PS Hells Kitchen, seems a good show but i've not 'ad time ter watch it yet.
But if I was a top celeb i'd go on that show just ter 'ave a big arguement with the chef!!!!!!!!!
My soup iz good, spiffing. (me)
Bingo your sup iz na goood. Clap!! (French Chef)
Am TELLIN' YER.... me soup IZ goood. Bon sure mate!!! (Me)
Bungo, you nout 'ave aye clue (French chef)
Der yer want this over yer 'ead ere. Am tellin' yer me Bingo special soup iz spiffing. I always put lots of black pepper and raison revels inter me soup!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah Chris, a man after my own heart. Unfortunately the ´óÏó´«Ã½ did exactly the same with Castaway. The first one (in 2000 I think) was absolutely fantastic. And of course discovered the gorgeous Ben Fogle. A year living in the wilds of an island in scotland being self-sufficient, how would a community cope? Brilliant social experiment.
The second one, earlier this year ... a group of wannabes playing a Lord of the Flies type game ... I was so disappointed.
Still - I'm very glad that Jim has gone.
T xxxx
Early morning rant Chris...best get it out of your system.
I did think that they seemed to have to pad out the extra half hour and assumed the viewer has an interest in the celebs rather than the cooking! Perhaps they are looking for a bit of controversy as Marco is being too nice with them all!
Must admit that bambi looked scrumptious...!
Nev
Meant to say as well, as much as I prefer Gordon to Marco, Marco's obviously a brilliant teacher. They've consistently fed everyone who's come in, they're getting excellent marks from the punters, and you're right - we don't get to see hardly any of that. We don't see how much prep they have to do or anything!!!
Come on HK - you can pull it back!!!!
(Still glad Jim's gone though)
xx
Morning!
I do apologise - work has completely taken over my life, so I haven't even had a chance to read CLP's musings, never mind all you other lovely bloggers' missives!
In fact, it is official, I am a saddo. Work exhausted me so much, that last weekend, I was in bed at 10pm on Friday, Saturday AND Sunday nights! Is there any hope for me???
The pressure is off slightly today, so wanted to drop by and say hello and to let you know I haven't forgotten about any of you, I've just been really, really up against it. So, here goes...
"HELLO!!!! HOPE YOU'RE ALL WELL. MISS YOU LOTS. X X X X"
There.
S xx.
P.S. Six years.
P.P.S I'm tired of 'reality, but not really, 'cos it's edited so the producers get what they want' TV.
p.p.p.s Cynical - who me?
Well said, Chris.
I only watched the first two before I decided it was a Big Brother formula, and switched off. The Raymond Blanc programme is more entertaining, though an obvious rip-off from The Apprentice.
Nigella, though a lovely woman, seems to be becoming a parody of herself - I can just imagine French & Saunders doing that programme!
Bring back Delia I say!
Chris
I watched about 5 mins of Hells Kitchen and switched off. Washed-up celebs arguing? No ta!
I'm with Di, and am watching The Restaurant (Apprentice) instead. Even Come Dine With Me has better cooking!
What about some decent drama on TV. I end up watching re-runs of Sherlock Holmes for the 95th time.
Jan x
Apart from one and all....
Angus Deaton, this show is rather tired and boring. Yester year celebs with a chip on their shoulders. Jim Davidson (NICK NICK) was about as funny as watching paint dry in his hey day.
I had a much more interesting evening at a Designer Clothes party.
Now the pround owner of a Christian Lacroix PVC outfit.
Sorry to have missed Cori though.
Yo CtD,
Bingo Star ere.
Your mention was right at the very start of CLP's mega shoe, sorry show yesterday. (about 17:06 and 18 seconds)
It was about you saying can CLP remove the pork pies pic from the blog.
Yer can 'ear it on the listen again thingy thing.
CtD i've writted abit about it on the end of yesterdays blog!
Chow!
Chrissie S- meeting him for coffee next thursday hopefully!
Thansk all for the comments on the wedding photos! Em- the shoes are New Look. A bargin at £20! Havent watched any of Hells Kitchen! I refuse!!
Now off to do some Tai Chi to calm me down as I have a meeting at Citizens Adivce later today and a bit nervous about it. But will hopefully get some tips for monday.
Will comment again later, missy x
oooher That is a spectacularly good rant. It reminds me of me lol. I agree Marco is the man and the show has been hijacked. Davidson makes me look like a raving leftie sandalist tho and its time he grew up. Perhaps now he has gone it will be better but how come Chris Evans is not exec producer? Huh? How come?
JK nonegreen
CLP
Been under the cosh at work lately - mostly to do with new train set - so blogging has been a little way down the list.
The last few days went something like this;
Saturday. Watched footie, got bored, cooked instead.
Sunday. Birthday, got caught up finishing decorating stuff, had to cancel table at The M.
Monday. Had a filling, booked holiday.
Pretty gripping stuff, I'm sure you'll agree.
Agree that HK is disappearing up it's own waste disposal unit. Mind you, did you see Nigella last night? As Di says, she is trying way too hard now. I mean, using a bus?
Missed the show entirely last night, so will try and make up for it tonight.
Peace & love
MfR
PS I am the law
Happy Tuesday people...... have to agree about last night's HK. Ninety minutes and probably less than fifteen minutes about preparation or cooking of food!
Anyway CtD your mention was in relation to your request to remove the picture of the pork pies - if you can listen again it was approx 17.13.
It's a lovely sunny day here - hope it is with you all.
Wilsmar
P.S. HL could send someone round to peel some grapes, if you are up to that much attention.
I agree totally, when are our tv channel`s going to get bored of this continual dumming down exercise. BB, DK, X-factor etc...
I watched this hoping to pick up some of the expertise that is Marco and his ability to run a busy kitchen,. I really could`nt give a toss about whose a homophobic,make up tips, etc.> Why do we have to suffer??? go back to showing numerous repeats of interesting stuff if you need to, but please save us from this continual outpouring of z listed personalities, Brian who ???and there petty lives...people who need to watch tis get help!!!!! you need it!!! your intellect is dying.Yes i know there is an off switch and yes we should all start using it.
Here Here Christophe Lammy pie
Nigella was good last night. Some scrummy
recipes
x
Well said Chris.
Marco is the star and now it is just another reality show.
I will still watch it though.
Hurrah!! a voice of reason in an otherwise dull and dreary world.
Hells K - yawn yawn yawn - the producers have done the 'lets pick people who will rub each other the wrong way' - again - it seems to happen on just about every realiTV shown out there - even the dear ol' Beeb is guilty of it to an extent - picking a couple for 'the Restaurant' that had little to no clue as to what was required - thank heavens for Raymond getting rid of them.
If you're going to do a cooking programme - what ever the format - how about concentratinng on the food, and how about Mr producers, picking contestants that might, just might have a clue.....
I'd love to gain an insight into who Marc does things - learn a little of his secrets - his take on food - but it seems that once again what we are actualy served bears little to no relation to what was on the menu.
Di et al ... Nigella has already had the p*ss taken out of her by someone - poss Ronnie Ancona? She was doing some very sensuous unwrapping of mars bars (other choc bars available) if I remember correctly!!
Missy = good luck with the CAB!
xxxx
Well said Christophe!!
That programme seems totally confused - I would love to ask the producers what their top two objectives are......well, apart from the obvious (and maybe sole) objective of (high) ratings. Maybe, that's part of the problem.....the ITV's desperate attempt to obtain some decent ratings results in confused and muddled programmes.
Nigella - haven't watched her for a while - had to smile last night. I did notice she had a particular adroitness (is that a word?) with the spatula-jobby (that IS a word) when she was stirring her naughty chocolate mousse. She did what I would call a 'normal stir' which happened to be clockwise (mmm, do people in the southern hemisphere stir anti-clockwise, I wonder).....but at the end of the 'normal stir' she made a little inverted flick which I think meant that the whole mixture was 'folded-in' rather than totally churned-up'. Anyway, it was a mighty fine manoeuvre and one I will attempt to emulate at the next opportunity.
Talking of opportunities, I am looking forward to my opportunity to join in the Show's Office News slot. I am currently and feverishly job hunting at the moment and am looking forward to actually being part of an office about which I can text-in to the Show !!!!
Perhaps, if I spent less time blogging and more time job hunting I would have an office to talk about!! ?? !!
Laters
Gaby
xx
ps I have noticed that I am so accustomed to typing 'mange tout' on these pages, that when I am typing other missives elsewhere and I wish to type 'many thanks', I actually, and automatically, type 'mange tout' !!!!....not very good for the typing tests at job interviews....no wonder I am jobless!!!!
pps mange tout
ppps and many thanks xx
pppps ...last but by no means least.....Gingembre, I was disappointed Shorey wasn't even on the bench...bit of competition for that position : )
pppppps what happened to ppppps?
ppppps oh, there it is : )
Good afternoon bloggers and lurkers.
I have an excuse note for my absence last week due to a nice sunny break in Cornwall.
Like the auditions for BB - stopped watching HK and enjoying the new series The Restaurant indeed. Silent Witness was brill last night can't wait for the second part tonight.
Off back to work
Phoenix
Di - I totally agree re: Nigella - she is in very real danger of becoming a parody of herself. A couple of times last night she looked into the camera and I really thought I was looking at a mad axe murderer. And MfR, you are so right - Nigella taking the bus? As if! Lastly - they must have filmed part of the show in my pantry! What? You guys don't have pantries like that?! (Having said all this, I do like Nigella, but I don't like this format).
Missy - if this guy does not take you for a coffee on Thursday, I am sending the boys round to him!
C xx
I agree Chris - was left wondering Where had Marco hone and I have only just caught on to his brilliance - what a difference in tone to the one that effs and blinds all the time(even his he has got a nice chest)
What happened to the art of learning to cook from a pro, that is what makes interesting TV? Big Brother is over (or so I thought!!), I am bored of this style of TV. Reserve Z list celebs trying to pay the bills from future contracts and work..................
DCD
you quite right ...i've already switched off
too many prima donna s
AND fast heading down the B B route
De x
"Hells Kitchen" not "Hells Bitching"
DCD
I'm in total agreement.......
Who cares if JD has an opinion that he wishes to voice - it's a free country still isn't it??
Me thinks this big brother culture has made such a negative impact on society and it's time it is stopped!
Reality shows have now had their day, shelf life has expired, caput!!!!. when will TV productions companies realise this?? - stop making a fast buck and give us something worth watching & value for our license fees or sky costs!!!!!!!
Leb x
And there was me thinking I might have something to look forward to watching after spending last night in London at a dinner with Shane Warne and Paul Nixon... (both I can tell you are seriously good guys) at a restaurant called Defina which was great. Now I think I'll forget watching last night HK and opt to read my book instead... shame though I was hoping for more insights from MPW.
Good to hear you having a rant though CLP it does you good to get it off your chest every now and then doncha think?
Luv
Lyndyloo
-x-x-x-
Absolutely agree CLP and t'others...
The biggest shame about not getting enough MPW action is he is so gorgeous, talented and an inspiriation....
Sack everyone and just film him working in his own kitchen with his own staff...
Ca marche pour moi!
jx
Yo ALL,
Ello ter Rebecca, Ello!!!!
That's Rebecca aka THE FOX!!!!!!
BIG sorrys as I forgot ter mention 'Welcome back' yesterday even though CLP put it in big writing at the top of 'is blog.
I was just too excited thinking about the Coldplay tribute band I was thinking of starting with CLP.
SORRY FOXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chow!
I totally agree about Hell's Kitchen. I watched it last night for the first (and last) time. Didn't actually make it to the end, it was so dull. Who is writing Angus' jokes? They're awful.....
Can't quite see the point of this show, somebody enlighten me?
Nigella not much better....
Nice 'shirt' Jonny.....mmmmmmmmmm
Hi Guys!!
CtD - what a mention last night!!!!!!! GO GIRL VIVE LA RUSSELLUTION!!
I totally agree with CLP - total rubbish - what an opportunity wasted
Actual Love
Cathmel x x x
I watched HK for the first time last night, on Christoph's recommendation, and must admit I wondered what all the fuss was about! he obviously agrees. Not for me ...
The bell is fine Chris...don't loose it...
Q x
Hear bloody hear Christoffe; couldn't agree more.
Except....
I have to say that much as I HATE HATE HATE reality shows, BORING now, please; I was curous to watch the strangely gorgeous genius that is lovely old dangerous Harpo Marx White. And for the first few programmes he didn't disappoint.
However. I simply cannot understand his apparent allegiance to Jim Rabidson. The man is an obvious buffoon and a seemly deeply angry, ineffective and unhappy man.
Not that I'm interested to probe further, but I've met bullying bigots like him before and they're best left to fester in their own acid. But JD really did disturb me. The way he messed about with certain people's heads made me wonder if that's what it's like to be mentally abused. If so I never want to witness that sort of thing ever again.
No, surely, methinks, Marco was simply and cleverly pandering to his great arrogance and vanity in order to keep him there, considering it would keep viewing figures?
I hope so. Because I HATE when people I admire disillusion me. And I'd never have thought somebody so charismatic and talented could hook up with Fred Flintstone. Still, we have to be aware that we're looking at edited hightlights and the reality may be totally different.
Well now. Today is 9/11. Nuff said. Let's all of us privileged ones hug our children, count our considerable blessings and be glad to be alive.
Clodagh.xx
And Oh yes, Nigella.
Bless her. I'd happily watch her pegging washing out, whatever, the woman is a Goddess.
In me next life if I can't come back as summat that hibernates and never has to deal with money or hairdressers (which leaves me with the choice of a tortoise or a grizzly with alopecia), then I'm comin' back as Nigella.
Top Bird.
Clodagh.xx
Bring back TFI Friday ! - at least this was a show that us viewers could get our teeth into, and be entertained by.
What is Hell's Kitchen all about anyway? is it about trying to re-launch C list celebs careers or is it about cooking with a great talented chef..! hmmm, I don't get it.
Bring back TFI Friday ! - at least this was a show that us viewers could get our teeth into, and be entertained by.
What is Hell's Kitchen all about anyway? is it about trying to re-launch C list celeb's careers or is it about cooking with a great talented chef..! hmmm, I don't get it.
Hi
I could not agree more you have hit the nail on the head.
spot on
Simon
OK.
Let's sort this TV chef thing out.
What/who is worth watching, what is a load of twaddle, who is clearly hamming it up so badly and who's ego is way out of control?
This is how it goes for me. And, for someone who professes to watch little TV, I seem to know rather too much about this subject.
Works:
Keith Floyd. Any era, anywhere. The Godfather.
Rick Stein. See above. The Godfather's pupil.
Ramsay. Now I know this will divide people, but, hand it to him, foul mouth or not, he is top of the heap these days and compulsive viewing.
Bill Granger. Whoa!. Where did that curveball come from? If you haven't seen this little Aussie genius, check him out. Must be all that funky 80s style jazz funk that does it.
The Restaurant. Whatever anyone says, this one is working for me.
Hairy Bikers. Yeah, yeah, I know, they are not chefs, but even you have to admit that it is good TV.
No.No.No:
Ainsley. Nuff said.
AWT. See above.
HK. Now, I really wanted to enjoy this time around with our Marco, but it ain't doing it for me. Even MPW. His ego is way out of control (''Let me take you by the hand and guide you.....'') even if his seat on top of Cheffy Mount is well deserved, and the 'celebs'? don't go there.
Market Kitchen. There will be a shock one day when Tana Ramsay finally brings herself to actually eat something and gamble on the 27 calorie binge.
Nigella. Sorry, but she has morphed into Ronni Ancona impersonating Nigella. How does that work? Oh, and then there's the bus thing.
Gary Rhodes. Anywhere. Especially India. In fact, let's commission a new series for him in Siberia. 92 episodes, entitled 'Icy Rhodes - You Have To Grit 'em'.
Peace & love, one and all.
Your friend,
MfR
PS.
Two obvious omissions.
Jamie. Hmm. Early stuff, great. Even forgive him for 'pukka'. Currently, a little too 'well fed' and smug for my liking. Brian is good though.
James Martin. No. No. No. Talent? I guess. Ego? Enough for four portions. Second helpings anyone?
Ta ta.
MfR
why is anyone surprised by the dross on tv?
It's all about making money thro' phone-ins, putting z list celebs on the air and insulting our intelligence.
Let's just see a great chef at work and be done with it.
Bring back TFI/Toothbrush etc....without creeping to CLP but shows that entertained and didn't cost money to watch.
Rant over!
Hope you are all well.
Loved todays entries.
KWx
reality tv ...not for me big brother,hells kitchen,x factor,dance this dance that, no not for me thank you...top rant chris.by the way do you think were turning into grumpier old men again now theres a show ......bye.
Hiya Christy et al, Ive been watchin HK from the start and I think Marco is fab, I work in catering and have always said there is NO NEED for chefs to be the arrogant ego maniacs that a lot of them are, and there is NO NEED for all the swearing that goes on in some cookery progs we see!! I remember working many years ago with a head chef in Ireland in a very swish hotel who had 20 chefs in his brigade, the restaurant sat 180 and sometimes you did two sittings a night, he commited every check that came in to memory!! I never heard him swear or raise his voice,Marco seems to be just like that (apart from the odd outburst) Chefs (notice Marco doesnt even call himself a chef he simply says hes a cook) can learn a great deal from watching how he operates, particularly how he treats his staff, then maybe they wouldnt have such a high turnover of people (sorry rant over, its a subject close to my heart)! I thought it was back on form tonight, I agree with what you say christy but the type of show it is you have to expect a lot of coverage on what the celebs get up to out of the kitchen, you could always ask Nigel if he would consider job sharing his slot with Marco, you seemed to get on well with him on the phone................
Fully recovered from Sunday nights little accident thank god, but was laid up with a bad tummy,even missed the show, will make up for it tomorrow, Night all, x
Well I gave Hannibals kitchen one more go. His cooking was superb but.......if I have to listen to that scouse bird brain anymore I will attack the TV with a Hammer.
Thank God for the Vicar of Dibley.
Nice summary MfR, although I am sure you have missed the odd chef......!
I agree Rhodes in India was a complete nightmare but still enjoy his less pretentious old stuff.
For some reason i quite enjoy Market Kitchen (although mainly as backgroung material while cooking the tea!) but that does depend which chef is on and Matt Tebbut is definitely the best presenter.
Nev
I'm glad that Jim has gone, as Marco can now get back to some cooking and stop licking jim's backside
A suggestion for Chris during his business news - when Foxy gives us the markets it would be helpful if she told us why the markets were either up or down. I don't mean for small fluctuations but would be interesting to know when there is a big change.
I am off to barbados for the 40th time and iam hoping to hear typically Tropical Im going to Barbados. What are my chances???