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GAZZA

Chris Evans | 16:20 UK time, Friday, 22 February 2008

The truth is...

... I haven't seen or heard from Gazza for months.

The last time, I think, was when he came to stay at my house for a few days and then left without a word. He often did this. He was always on the move, it was as if he thought the ground would gobble him up if he stayed in any one place too long.

Hotel, hotels, hotels. I don't believe anyone has spent more money on staying in hotels for no particular reason. Hotels have evrything he needs, whereas the real world has very little. Hotels most of all have people, people are what Gazza feeds off. He's only ever known the real love of thousands, millions in fact, never one special person. His existence is stranger than you could possibly imagine.

Stories about him are legendary. I have been there to witness many of them first hand. Hilarious, dangerous, tragic, he would have you crying with laughter one minute and breaking your heart the next.

He has't been himself for a long time now. Everyone who knows him properly will tell you this. You could say, "How can a guy who had millions and the world at his feet - literally, implode like this, abuse what he's been blessed with, self destruct ?" The answer is simple - because no one understands him and when no one understands you, there's no feeling like it. Abject loneliness.

He just can't understand why he found playing football so easy yet living life so hard.

I have another friend in a very similar situation to Gazza and I want them both back.

Whether that will ever happen, I honestly don't know.

For once, albeit against his will, he may finally be somewhere where some nice ladies and gentlemen can help him.

CLP.

2008.

X.

Happy Friday.

Comments

  1. At 05:22 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Anne G. wrote:

    Hi Chris, understand what you're saying. I come from the same place as Paul and I have to say there are lots of families where there are maybe parents but there are no adults. I think this always creates problems for children trying to grow up and join the adult world.

    I hope he gets the help he so obviously needs.

    Anne x

  2. At 06:27 PM on 22 Feb 2008, martin james wrote:

    I too wish Gazza well. Chris has given us an intelligent, close insight into one of the greatest football players we have ever seen.

    m xxx

  3. At 06:30 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Richard 'Dick' Head wrote:

    Just another turn in the Gazza story. Lets hope he get well and back involved in the game

    John L in the cold

  4. At 06:31 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Jeff & Von wrote:

    Get well soon Paul.
    You're a great bloke and deserve much better treatment than you've received so far, by the media I mean.
    It's a pity it's taken this for TV personalities to start making nice comments about you. I hope when you're better that they have the decency to give you the respect that you deserve.
    Lots of love mate.

  5. At 06:36 PM on 22 Feb 2008, martin james wrote:

    I to wish Gazza well. Chris has given us an intelligent, close insight into one of the greatest football players we have ever seen.

    Get well soon Gazza.

    m xxx

  6. At 06:37 PM on 22 Feb 2008, David Cole wrote:

    Get well soon Gazza a true legend for England &
    Newcastle.

  7. At 06:42 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Judy T. wrote:

    Hi Chris,
    Thank you for passing this on to Paul. Just to tell him our thoughts and prayers are with him, and we all hope he gets back on track soon.

    He's a luvely person and everybody loves him.

    Judy xx

  8. At 07:37 PM on 22 Feb 2008, john chilton wrote:

    GAZZA
    You are the best footballer of your generation
    you have been blessed with amazing talent -God given

    That goal you scored against Scotland in Euro 98 will live with me forever- me and my mates danced around our house for ages

    dont give up - We love you mate
    i am praying for you

  9. At 07:53 PM on 22 Feb 2008, MfR wrote:

    Chris

    Paul needs help, and, as you and KK have said, he's now in the best place to get it.

    Without wishing to say 'I know how what he is going through', because none of us do, I can understand, to a degree, the feeling of despair and lack of direction that I imagine he is going through.

    There is no simple answer. We have all got to find our river and navigate it the best way we can. Sometimes we need help, other times we can manage on our own. Either way, we all need to stop from time to time, think about where we are going, and talk to those we love and who love us about the journey we are on.

    You are a wise man. I know, I have met you a few times. If you can pass some of your wisdom and love to Paul, please do so.

    And pass our love too.

    Peace and love

    MfR

  10. At 08:07 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Simon wrote:

    Gazza, I've never met you and our paths are unlikely ever to cross.

    I just want to say that I hope you are with the right people at the right time in the right place. Tell them that they need to take care of you!

    The world is a weird and complicated place and I know people, who I really love and care about, who suffer from various diagnosed problems with their brain mucking them about.

    I don't have anything constructive or clever to offer. I just want to offer some support and to let you know I am thinking of you.

    Simon
    xx

  11. At 08:29 PM on 22 Feb 2008, gingembre wrote:

    Great post Chris

    I think I speak on behalf of all Spurs fans (well probably football fans everywhere) when I pass on my love and affection for a great player and someone who appears to be one of lifes really nice guys

    Good luck Gazza, remember what you wrote in those 2 books of yours.

    KWx

  12. At 08:44 PM on 22 Feb 2008, wrote:

    I was heartbroken when I saw Paul a couple of years ago, he was obviously disoriented, and I didn't think he was drunk.

    Mental illness is a tragedy, I'm glad he has been taken somewhere that people can help. Only problem is, in order to get help for mental illness you have to acknowledge it yourself.

    I suffer periodically and medication keeps me straight. People joke that my sunny natures must be due to medication... maybe it is, but my un-sunny nature without it isn't one I like to live with.

    DWNB

  13. At 08:54 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Craig Hawthorn wrote:

    Gazza

    I hope wherever you are right now, you are getting the best help in the world and you come out the other side as good as new.

    You are one of my football heroes and I speak as a West Ham fan. Italia 90 and Euro 96 are memories that will live with me for ever thanks to you.

    Get well soon Gazza and thank you Chris for passing this message on.

    CRAIG

  14. At 09:34 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Big Bump wrote:

    Hi Christy, poor Gazza, my heart goes out to the poor man,he has the look of a lost little boy, Lets hope he gets the help he needs,
    Have just come across a group on a well known social networking site called Chas n Dave to Open the 2012 Olympics! Join, Join! That would be class! This is my first post in ages, have tried loads but keep getting 502'D!!! Baby Evas getting really big (and beautiful) now, and sleeps thru! Result! Have a great weekend all, xxx

  15. At 10:21 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Dave wrote:

    Gazza
    although i don't know what you're feeling i too have been down in the depths, where you feel like nobody understands. At the time it feels like the end of the world but believe me it will get better, you will learn to cope and you do come out a stronger person. You were my boyhood hero and even though i'm older and a bit greyer you still are.

    take care mate

    Dave

  16. At 11:24 PM on 22 Feb 2008, Jeff & Von wrote:

    Get well soon Paul.
    You're a great bloke and deserve much better treatment than you've received so far, by the media I mean.
    It's a pity it's taken this for TV personalities to start making nice comments about you. I hope when you're better that they have the decency to give you the respect that you deserve.
    Lots of love mate.

  17. At 01:00 AM on 23 Feb 2008, Ryan Butt wrote:

    Hope you get well soon Gazza and find what it is that your tortured soul seeks in this messed up world.

    Thanks for helping me fall in love with football

    You are a true legend who has inspired and enthralled.

    Good luck mate

  18. At 09:42 AM on 23 Feb 2008, wrote:

    Poor Gazza I really feel for him. It must be so difficult to find something to do when your playing career has finished.

    So who watched the Brits on wednesday. The fella surprised me with a visit and we watched them together. I'm not sure if you have already talked about this but I actually really felt for Amy Winehouse. I don't see why her family and management let her do it. And then thinking about it some more I thought actually what was the relevence of her being there. Ok she had the mark ronson song to do but she has not got a new album out, Black to Black got it awards last year so she wasn't nominated. She is in a vunerable state and would be even more so at the Brits, why go at all?

    Bigbump- that would make me laugh so much, chas and dave. But they are british and so maybe its a good idea. I'll be voting!

  19. At 11:53 AM on 23 Feb 2008, Prof Plum wrote:

    What's all this Chas and Dave stuff one and all

    Wow is this Tony Blackburn?

    Toodle oo

  20. At 11:54 AM on 23 Feb 2008, Prof Plum wrote:

    What's all this Chas and Dave stuff one and all

    Wow is this Tony Blackburn?


    Toodle oo

  21. At 12:47 PM on 23 Feb 2008, lindsay, From Glasgow wrote:

    Paul take this time to rest ,think only of your own well being,treat this episode as a water shed,comeout the other end changed and plan the future for yourself ,switch the lime lights off you dont need them any more.Did you ever catch a salmon?

    Best wishs Lindsay

  22. At 12:50 PM on 23 Feb 2008, A Viewer wrote:

    Could Gazza`s problems have some similarities to what happened to Frank Bruno?

    I recon it`s hard to suddenly find you don`t have to train anymoor, your not in the lime light anymoor, no longer an active player as a world class sportsman doing what you enjoyed most. It must be hard adjusting to it all.


    A
    Viewer

  23. At 04:55 PM on 23 Feb 2008, Andrew Smith wrote:

    I am a huge football fan and a huge fan of anyone who can make entertain and make our lives feel brighter. As a footballer, I feel, Gazza lit up our worlds. Sadly it seems rarely his own.

    Please pass this message on to Gazza.

    Gazza I coach my sons under 11 football team. I talk about players of who they know little, but they have all heard of you. Your skills, your passion, your zest for life came through when you played. You were the seeds to the best two summers of my life. 1990 and 1996. I know hope and pray that all our thoughts and kind wishes can bring about some great summers for you. Get Well, Keep Smiling and please know that the world loves you.

    All the best and thankyou

    Andrew Smith and all of the SAS Saints under 11 side.

  24. At 09:39 PM on 23 Feb 2008, wrote:

    We all search for reasons and answers when we here of situations like Gazza's. Even those who have met him can, at best, only guess.

    It may not be the cause for his troubles, but one of the contributory factors must be our country's inability to applaud success. From school age when we're told not to brag about winning, through to adulthood when we're not allowed to 'blow our own trumpet'.

    The tabloid press embody this way of thinking - all too keen to pounce on anyone with any amount of success and rake some dirt or fabricate some damaging story. And what makes it worse - this rubbish sells newspapers.

    Paul should have been highly praised by all and protected by his club. He needed strong mentors at an early age and support from the general public.

    It would seem that Gazza has been hurt too many times to really trust anyone and often finds himself alone - even whilst being the centre of attention in a crowd.

    I'm just glad all these posts are being written because Paul's getting some help - we could so easily be writing about how great a footballer he was and how much he will be missed.

    He probably won't get to read any of these posts. Maybe he won't see much, if any, positive press coverage. The newspapers do not speak for the British public; the British public love Paul Gascoigne and wish him well.

    I hope we can learn from watching Gazza these past twenty or so years. Whilst he must take responsibility for his actions, we too must take responsibility for ours. There are plenty of young, impressionable celebrities being created every day. We don't have to like them, that's our choice; we also don't have to shoot them down just because of their celebrity. Let's be proud of the talent that our country can produce and maybe we'll see less cases like our Gazza.

    PeeBee

  25. At 11:22 PM on 23 Feb 2008, Big Bump wrote:

    Prof P, its a group on facebook that are campaigning for Chas and Dave to open the London Olympics, altogther now, RABBIT, RABBIT, RABBIT, RABBIT............

  26. At 08:09 AM on 25 Feb 2008, gingembre wrote:

    wahay, well done to the mighty Lilywhites.
    Great to see us outplay Chelski, have more attempts and generally deserve to win

    CoyS

    KWx

  27. At 09:45 AM on 25 Feb 2008, RosieRoo wrote:

    What a great blog and some brilliant comments - especially yours Ryan Butt - very poignant. Gazza = Legend.

    Yay Gingembre!! We did it and we bloody deserved it!! Fantastic!!

    Dan - guess I was wrong about the cinema. Keep us posted.

    CtD - good luck on your first day - let us know how it goes.

    Big Bump - welcome back. Chas and Dave for the Olympics? Oh, the hilarity. Vote, vote, vote!

    Love to you all,

    A very proud and smiley Rosie x

  28. At 10:34 AM on 25 Feb 2008, A Viewer wrote:

    Well said PeeBee, plus I like your link, has Chris seen the link?

    A
    Viewer

  29. At 11:09 AM on 25 Feb 2008, Debbie wrote:

    Morning all

    CtD, good luck today let us know you got on x

    Just been told off the Mr Nasty and I think I have finally decided to leave. I have no confidence to be honest and he tolerates no mistakes. The way that he comes in shouting and complaining is too intimidating for me. Things were ok for a while but I will always have this threat of his moods hanging over me.

    Dan the Man, I just managed to hear your track on Friday as we pulled up at the hotel. We left much earlier than planned and missed the rest of the show!

    Hope you all have a good day
    Love
    Debbie x x

  30. At 11:34 AM on 25 Feb 2008, Tinsel wrote:

    Ah Debbie, when the time is right you do know, don't you??

    I'm having battles with the Chair of my residents' assoc at the moment - a more unpleasant woman would be hard to find. Unfortunately she lives next door to me so I get the brunt of her power-crazy ways. Anyone know what rights I have????

    Morning all. What a weekend for footie - that poor Arsenal player's ankle - I thought I was going to be sick. And tbh I'm glad Tottenham won - that's what Chelsea get for letting my lovely Jose go.

    Have to say I also enjoyed the rugby - that last touchdown (? is that what it's called) for England was FAB!


    T xxxxxxx

  31. At 12:23 PM on 25 Feb 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    Ello CLP & ALL Blog Operatatives,

    Bingo Star ere.

    CLP - It's nice too see you writing something deep & meaningful about Gazza & to read the truth from you instead of reading such from the papers. I never believe anything I read in the papers.

    Life is so difficult for most people - like I always say I think this life is just one big test for the next - that's the only justification I can find for all the missery & suffering that takes place on this mad yet beautiful world.

    To try and understand abit how Gazza must feel, it must be weird being famous like he is yet so lonely & unable to find someone to understand him.
    To lead two seperate lives, a normal one & a public one.
    It must be so difficult being famous. I mean we all have problems in life but can keep it just to ourselves & our family but when your famous your problems are shared with everybody & on top of this he truth twisted by the media.
    Britney Spears is an example lately, I really feel so sorry for her at present.
    I mean imagine if life has got so bad & your suffering a breakdown only to have the media chasing after you & sensationalising everything.

    Getting back to Gazza, I think when you are born with a talent of some sort, abit of genius even, you tend to be different from most people, find it hard to fit in.
    I think too when your like this you only find happiness in your talent, you sort of escape from the world that you feel lonely in & loose yourself in the thing that your good at.

    That's probally why why Gazza finds it so easy to play football yet can't find fulfillment in ordinary life.

    If Gazza is reading this all I can say is keep the faith mate, you've just got to keep it going no matter how hard this crazy life can.
    Believe me it's like this for most of us.
    It's so easy to see the grass as always seeming greener with other people but when you get to know them - it's not!
    I really do hope Gazza does find someone who understands him, finds what he is looking for in life.

    And CLP you must be a good friend to write what you have about Gazza & your other friend. It shows you understand what their going through & care about them which is more than alot of people get from their friends.

    Aye & PS - If I stayed at a top celebs house & I 'ad ter leave suddenly for some reason without saying goodbye, say for example ter 'cos I 'ad ter go on the Richard & Judy Shoe, sorry Show, i'd at least leve a note & an 'am, 'umous & lettuce sandwich as a thank you!!!!

    Know what am sayin'!!!!!

    Chow!

  32. At 01:08 PM on 25 Feb 2008, Phoenix wrote:

    Cheryl - good luck with the new job today.

    Debbie - I echo Tinsel - you definitely know when it's time to move on jobwise.

    To Gazza - to have the right support and friends who are behind you 100% is the best medicine. You are in the right place and I hope we all see you well and whole once more. I agree with others comments that it must be extremely hard to come out of such a bright limelight and find something else to challenge yourself. I am sure that you will come through this.

    Phoenix

  33. At 02:35 PM on 25 Feb 2008, j wrote:

    Best wishes and good luck to Gazza. Such talent borders genius and genii seem to have to walk a tight line.

    Please can something be done about the press in this country though. They are vile, shocking, and need curbing.

    The least we can do is stop buying and reading this dog-poop.

    jx

  34. At 02:43 PM on 25 Feb 2008, wrote:

    Debbie - stay strong lovely, good luck with leaving and finding something else to do, somewhere where they'll appreciate you instead of yell.

    CtD - let us know how you get on today, I have had too many first days to know that they're all different! Good luck to you lovely.

    And Dan! Congrats mate, glad it went well even if you were separated by armchairs the size of small houses! Here's to next week =) Was well chuffed for you especially when I head Chris say it was your song to kick of ARF!

    Weren't the games good at the weekend? Sad that Scotland lost, and was also a bit gutted for the Italians (I do like the underdogs) but England - well!!! Yes, that try at the end was something else indeed, well done lads!!!

  35. At 03:12 PM on 25 Feb 2008, clodagh wrote:

    Indeed, Gazza's is a story of the tragedy of modern life when it overwhelms and consumes a person. I hope he gets the right help and medication and emerges stronger and wiser.

    As for the rest of us, we owe it to the likes of Gazza to sympathise if not empathise, for without these colourful characters in life, ours would be the poorer and duller. I expect there will be some nauseous numpties out there who will be sending text jokes about Gazza's situation; I have to say, though, there won't be any coming my way as my nearest and dearest know better.

    Depression is still in this day and age, greatly misunderstood. When a person is truly clinically depressed they are simply not capable of 'pulling themselves together' and 'counting their blessings'. So all the privilege and money in the world means nothing if you are unhappy in your soul and drained in spirit.

    And as we see so often in comedians, eg. Tony Hancock, Ronnie Barker, etc., comic genius often hides deep, dark depression.

    As one who is oft perceived as being of a quite sunny disposition, it can also be something of a pressure to 'perform' when around those who feel uncomfortable with one's quieter moments. I'm lucky in that I can withdraw for a while during my darker times, but for those who have to live in the glare of publicity it must be hell.

    So get well soon, Paul. You've had a hard time and my thoughts are just a drop in the ocean of everyone else's wishing you well now.

    Right chaps. I need a bit of luck wishin' meself today as I brave Dublin-Holyhead via Cape Horn back into the loving arms of that psychopath Renee. I wonder what she's bakin' as we speak.

    Clodagh.xx

  36. At 02:03 PM on 27 Feb 2008, Jan Doe wrote:

    Hi

    Have just read Chris's blog re; Gazza.

    It made me cry.

    Gazza must be in such a sad, lonely and confusing place at the moment I also hope he finds health and happiness again.

    Hopefully he will realise that he does have some really good friends like Chris who just hope that he gets better soon and he rekindles those friendships that are so important to him with people who like him just because of who he is and not for what he has done in the past.

  37. At 01:26 PM on 28 Feb 2008, Yvonne wrote:

    I met Gazza in my local gym about 18 months ago - no one bothered him and when I asked for his autograph and talked about his autobiography he seemed amazed that anyone would want anything to do with him

    He was a gentle soul that day, completely unassuming and I am sad that it has come to this, but he is no doubt in the best place to come to terms with the demons he obviously has

  38. At 01:50 PM on 28 Feb 2008, Nevster wrote:

    Good luck to Gazza
    hope he gets well soon.

    We all remember the tears in the semifinal of Italia 90 and he had us crying with him too.

    But he put the biggest smile on my face (after I picked my jaw back up off the floor) with what was probably the best goal ever scored at Wembley.
    Sorry Scotland
    Sorry Colin Hendry
    THANK YOU PAUL!!
    JUST BRILLIANT!!
    Yes you were sizzling and needed the water from your teammates
    ALL THE BEST
    Nevster

  39. At 03:54 PM on 28 Feb 2008, David wrote:

    Yes yes yes I hear what you're all saying about this gazza fella. Let's be honest though, if it was Joe soap you wouldn't care less. If I'm wrong then go volunteer your services at a mental health charity and do somthing about it. Help those who have nothing or no-one. Bleating about some "celebrity" who has got into hot water purely of their accord and then declaring undying love for someone you've never met is plain rediculous. Get over it and look after the ones you can help.

  40. At 11:46 PM on 28 Feb 2008, Jim Dawson wrote:

    Hi Chris,you obviously know the real Gazza and what a caring person he is.My one and only meeting I had with him will stay with me forever.When he played for Rangers he came with the team to visit the childrens hospice in Kinross where I was a volunteer.He made the day special spending time with all the kids and parents laughing and joking and shedding a tear.That is one reason why we should all rally round and give back to him what he has given to so many others.All the best

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