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TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO START STOPPING.

Chris Evans | 14:59 UK time, Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Reading a book at the moment called The Last Cigarette, excellent, effortless writing by a bloke called Simon Gray - "Beware when...

...these days become those days"

"You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs."

Etcetera.

Very funny, very wise, very articulate.

The opposite of my mate, I was just sat next to him whilst he was reading about this young kid who took one glance at the London skyline and then reproduced it perfectly in a pencil sketch....

"Oh 'ees one of those authentic kids 'innee ?"

For authentic, see autistic ! He's hilarious. He followed this up with some news, that in his opinion, was eventable... I'm guessing inevitable, what do you reckon ?

QUICKLY...

Paul Burrell's a waste of space. Naomi Campbell should be exiled and Janice Long and her team have just landed in London, to be based here full time in The Big Smoke, they're terribly excited and why not. Welcome one and all.

CLP.

2008.

X.

Comments

  1. At 06:38 PM on 08 Apr 2008, Red wrote:


    What's happening to the blog (again) read

    Chris's post ...then read Dan's ...came back

    later then ...! it's gone ...!..?...

    And..no posts at all...?

    X R

  2. At 06:42 PM on 08 Apr 2008, The Kate wrote:

    Hi !

    That bloke you were talking to in America bout sleep n stuff...was he a machine ? cos his voice really sounded robotic ...R you sure you were talking to a real person??

    K
    x

  3. At 06:51 PM on 08 Apr 2008, Anne G. wrote:

    Oh Chris, so nice to have you back.

    I need that book. Stop me having a fag every now and then!! Bums, I'll have to go back on Amazon - and I'm still waiting for the Irish Fridge to arrive.

    Have been away from home for a couple of days, staying with various children. BECAUSE, folks - I HAVE A MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!

    Scary, shreiky, standing on chairs. Was browsing the t'internet when I saw a blur out the corner of my eye - a little brown thingy with biggish ears wandering round my kitchen. Oh god I'm a wimp, shrieked, phoned youngest, packed back and left. Have slept on his sofa for the last couple of days but I'm trying to be a grownup and staying here tonight, although I had to go to the nearest supermarket and buy a bottle of red to get through the night. Don't think I'll sleep much tonight.

    Anne x

  4. At 06:56 PM on 08 Apr 2008, wrote:

    I'm on holiday.

    I'm very happy.

    I'm doing nothing, cept being with my family and loving life!

    DWNB

  5. At 07:41 PM on 08 Apr 2008, Red wrote:


    Good for you DWNB... be happy..:)

    X R

  6. At 08:12 PM on 08 Apr 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    Ello Christoof & ALL Blog Operatative Dudes,

    Bingo Star ere.

    CLP - Paul Burrell - I agree with you.

    Naomi Campbell - That's the kind of goodlooking tempremental woman..... I fear picking up in Kiev!!!

    PS I wonder if Al Fayed will chill out now?

    Doctor Beaker/ Beeker - Sorry I didn't mean ter upset you if you really do resemble Beaker out of The Muppets - BIG 'pologies 2U!!!!!!

    PS Yer not the oldest on the blog, it's ow yer feel not yer age!!!!!

    PPS Doctor Beaker/ Prof - I notice CLP as used your 'one and all' in 'is blog above - must ave picked it up from Prof Plum!!!!!!!!!

    PS CLP - Ave been aving BIG nightmares after yer article about fake autographs. It involves me getting Wrightie's 'graph - i'll reveal all in two weeks!

    A can't blog for two weeks blog friends. Why you may ask or who cares some may say. Well i've got mesen inter a BIG mess.
    I can't go inter detail just yet but ave gotta do abitta time inside!

    Chow!

  7. At 08:30 PM on 08 Apr 2008, wrote:

    OK.

    I've already said too much, but I will confirm two things.

    It will not be sprayed pink. Sorry Cheryl.

    It's the daddy.

    I will buy the supplier of the correct answer a pint at The M. Oh shoot, I still owe you one Chris.

    Isn't it strange how things come and go in waves? One minute you're up, feeling fit, ready to take life by the scruff of the neck, and then, a few sleepless nights later, simply picking up the phone or facing the world is such a challenge.

    I think I must be plunging headlong into my 'pack it up and become a goatherd in Albania' mood.

    Mind you, I don't care much for Norman Wisdom's films, so that would never work.

    Peace & love

    MfR.

  8. At 08:40 PM on 08 Apr 2008, LadyP wrote:

    Hi Y'all, back again

    Rosie - 6.30am is late for me - I had a spare minute as I went out the door to work. 5am get ups for me...busy, busy, busy. Piece of cake in summer - but damn tough midwinter.

    Doc - elephant man was alive at the close of the program, going to google to see if I can find out more.....it really puts niggly moans & groans in to perspective. So you're a Manc like me. I've lived all over the UK but like the proverbial bad penny (Have to live up to my name) keep turning "back up North".

    Bingo - If you don't mind I'll put the Bingo diet on hold for the time being. Got to deliver some presentations and so there will already be enough hot air in the room.....if you catch my drift! However, if I meet an audience I don't like it could come in very handy! Have you got a book out?? If not what about "the Bingo belly & bum diet" as a title?

    Paul Burrell....agree completely
    Naomi.....who'd have her? They keep sending her back!
    Janice - whatchoo doin' down there lovey, North is best....even our own Mr Evans came from Warrington!! Oh well........ don't say I didn't warn you.

    Tara all

    LadyP

  9. At 09:11 PM on 08 Apr 2008, Anne G. wrote:

    MFR: Don't like Norman Wisdom much myself. But bought his biography for a friend, called "my turn", which is quite interesting and thoughtful. He had a truly awful childhood!

    Now off to bed, pissed on the bottle of red, trying not to think of the mouse in the kitchen, listening to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

    Won't sleep but have lots of books available.

    Anne. x

  10. At 09:16 PM on 08 Apr 2008, Dan the Man wrote:

    MfR

    Think you might owe me a pint . . F Enzo???

    DtM

  11. At 10:05 PM on 08 Apr 2008, wrote:

    Hey hey hey ...

    Also meant to say.... Stopped Drinking on 29th February. Had 2 Glasses of Wine last night.. that was my first since February... what's that ... 5 weeks 4 days.....

    Didn't like how I felt this morning. So that's it. I'm done with the booze.......

    Way hay hay ... loving life...

    DWNB

  12. At 10:12 PM on 08 Apr 2008, wrote:

    Annie -

    Borrow a cat........ Honest. If the cat doesn't find it and "remove" it in seconds. The mouse will smell the cat and RUN.......

  13. At 10:15 PM on 08 Apr 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:


    PS..... LFC - WROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!

  14. At 09:00 AM on 09 Apr 2008, lazykev wrote:

    the wifes on her sixth day without a fag ......she seems determined this time...good luck to all those trying to quit,my tip is dont start in the first place.....why is paul burrell a waste of space.

  15. At 09:42 AM on 09 Apr 2008, j wrote:

    Anne G - ask the mouse to leave. Explain you are very scared, this is your space and please could it go find somewhere else to live. It worked for me when I had a whole colony living in the pantry.

    Wierd but true...

    jen ewan
    xx

  16. At 09:48 AM on 09 Apr 2008, RosieRoo wrote:

    Some good philosophy there. My own take on the omelette one is simply 'you can't make an omelette' because I really can't. Honestly.

    Rosie x

  17. At 11:43 AM on 09 Apr 2008, Wickerman wrote:

    Morning CLP and all bloggers

    Annie G just put some traps down in the kitchen with a little bit of chocolate in them that should take care of the little mouse then no more sleepless nights

  18. At 01:12 PM on 09 Apr 2008, Julia B wrote:

    Hi Chris and bloggers

    Annie G - like Jen Ewen my husband got rid of our mouse through the power of verbal communication - he didn't really reason with it though, he shouted at it to scare it away and believe it or not that worked!

    I hope Janice and the team settle well in London. I lived there for a number of years, but like many other people, the tug of the North brought me back. I have nostalgic memories of happy times living and working in London in the 80s - but it's even better going back as a visitor, you get the good bits without the grind of the daily commute to work!

    J x

  19. At 01:46 PM on 09 Apr 2008, wrote:

    Good afternoon everyone!
    Hope you are all well. The sun is shining here in Lowestoft and I 'm happy at the mo. I will let you know tomorrow if I'm the same as I'm at the fella's tonight with the AWFUL neighbours!

    Oh MFR- what are you talking about? Why do you not want to be srayed pink? will have to go back to yesterday and read!

    So as some of you may know, well Gingembre anyway, on monday I went back to work! Now first let me say that is legal and the benefit people do know so I'm not doing anything naughty. Its in a little shop in Norwich doing 3 hours twice a week and they sell gifts and little things for special occasions such as wedding and Christenings. I'm really happy and they have a stool for me to sit on if I get tired! On monday I really enjoyed it getting to know the stock and products. Although I did have to have a nap in the afternoon as I was a bit worn out! But still its great and I'm happy! So please be happy for me as letsa face it it's been a long 3 years with CFS!

    I hope this gets through and check my blog out for some silly photos of the fella and I!! hehe!

    Love to you all as always, missy xx

  20. At 01:48 PM on 09 Apr 2008, wrote:

    Good afternoon everyone!
    Hope you are all well. The sun is shining here in Lowestoft and I 'm happy at the mo. I will let you know tomorrow if I'm the same as I'm at the fella's tonight with the AWFUL neighbours!

    Oh MFR- what are you talking about? Why do you not want to be srayed pink? will have to go back to yesterday and read!

    So as some of you may know, well Gingembre anyway, on monday I went back to work! Now first let me say that is legal and the benefit people do know so I'm not doing anything naughty. Its in a little shop in Norwich doing 3 hours twice a week and they sell gifts and little things for special occasions such as wedding and Christenings. I'm really happy and they have a stool for me to sit on if I get tired! On monday I really enjoyed it getting to know the stock and products. Although I did have to have a nap in the afternoon as I was a bit worn out! But still its great and I'm happy! So please be happy for me as letsa face it it's been a long 3 years with CFS!

    I hope this gets through and check my blog out for some silly photos of the fella and I!! hehe!

    Love to you all as always, missy xx

  21. At 01:57 PM on 09 Apr 2008, Cheryl the Diva wrote:

    Bonjour mon Blog Amies

    Anne G - yep - the traps with chocolate in work a treat. Sooty brought us gifts of mices last year and traps with "work rest and play" bars in them (not the whole bar, obviously coz that would be bigger than the mouse!) got rid of the little blighters. Good luck!

    Bingo - are you really Pete Doherty? I read that he's "currently unavailable ... " !

    dogwithnobrain ..... glad you're happy. As Mr Bowie said, I'm happy - hope you're happy too!

    The sun is out here and the sky is blue but it's bloomin' freezing! Honest. Really cold. Brrrrr.....

    OK ... the hat. It's black (that wasn't rocket science!) and has a big wide brim (12 - 14" or so), made of shiny chiffonny material, then over the top of the "thicker" shiny layer/brim is another flimsy chiffon layer, kind of floaty, and then at the front/side (10 o'clock position) is a flouncey tied bunched bow kind of thing. There! I will endeavour to get Mr Diva to photograph it at the wedding before I dance round it after a couple of sherry's!

    The hat will be worn with a full length straight black velvet skirt - split to the knee on one side, and a black velvet "morticia adams" styleeeee goth top, and a beaded victorian choker.

    Black to a wedding? That's just me!

    Anyhoooooo ....

    Woman's Minute this week .... how would I describe myself in a lonely hearts ad?

    "Ageing goth (but still young at heart) who likes a cuddle seeks Russell Brand for fun, frolics and education. Lookalikes need not apply".

    As Johnny Ramone (not Saunders) once said ...

    HEY HO! LET'S GO!!

    CtD x x x x

  22. At 02:53 PM on 09 Apr 2008, Doctor Beaker wrote:

    Gooday one and all

    The stop it book sounds quite interesting.

    Was it Bingo Starr that cut off Ringo's topiary head from the display outside Liverpool Station?
    Is he now a prisoner due to his unmutual behaviour?

    Best way to deal with a mouse is get a stuffed cat. Works very well without all the fuss of a real one.


    Tally ho Doc

  23. At 03:43 PM on 09 Apr 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    CLP Hubby sometimes gets words muddled - sometimes hilarious sometimes Oh for goodness sake! Arthur itis - Ather letics!!

    That "Thank Evans" on the web site - soooo glad you are back!

    Mfr Tried the anagram thing for the veehickle but missing an H for Diahatsu. Wouldn't be a Bugatti would it?

    CtD Just new it!! black great! big brim! - got one in red - one in purple - one in navy with red chiffony stuff/bow thing - one in cream got married in and several more stuck at back of cupboard.

    Bingo/Pete D - not reeely naughty was it?

    Anne G. ickle mouse - just yell at it to go away. Tried it with the rats trying to invade from next door last year but it didn't work so had to get a "man" in. All this "composting" without knowing what you are doing - please note chicken wire under the bin and way up the insides and bury the thing - don't just plonk it in the garden and fill it full of kitchen goodies!

    Biggles Mum xxx

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