大象传媒

Of course this will bring peace to the Middle East - you can鈥檛 fire guns and laugh at the same time.

Chariots of Ire

What do you mean, you'll wait for the 4x4 version?

Of course it鈥檚 appropriate 鈥� Ben-Hur was Jewish, wasn鈥檛 he?

George W. Bush demonstrates the new Dyson "Ehud" novelty vacuum-cleaner made especially for the Israeli market

Call that a limo ?

"Ya know, once you've mastered not falling off, its quite good fun"

So that's how you stay on!

Laura! Laura! The bullys have stolen my
brum, brum again!

In an unusual attempt to prevent peace talks from derailing.........

The figures are wheeled in for Madame Tussaud's new world leaders exhibition.

OK, now where are the air-bags?

President Dolittle to Rider: "Is that a Pushmi-Pullyu?"
Rider: "No, it's the Lone Hydrangea."

A stretch version? Well, that's called a Mini.

I love it. It can go in the garage with all my Sinclair C5's.

George, shouting Hi-yo Silver won't make it go!

鈥淗ow much are you going to pay me to accept this gift?鈥�

Don't pull that - that's the ejector seat.

Now George, you remember the words, 'The Wheels on the Bus go....'

A fist fight ensues after Olmert steals Bush's Segway.

Sorry about that, Ehud. I hadn't realised you didn't actually need an operation to have the axle implanted in your feet.

President Bush: "What does this little red button do?"

First came the Road Map. Now for the stupidest way to use it.

Wheels of spiel.

Little did Olmert know that Bush had set the controls to "Buckin' Bronco" mode

Its like the talks, Ehud, its takes a lot of effort to prevent it from stalling.

When you can't talk the talk, or walk the walk, then get a Segway.

President Bush prepares to send off the White House's first gay couple.

As with the peace process, you need a delicate balance, Sir

Ah, gosh! So that gooey stuff was quick-drying glue, was it?

The consequences for the peace process were disastrous, after Bush brought a garden strimmer by mistake

And in Damascus, Arab leaders finally spotted the truth; Mr Olmert has two left arms.

"Suits you, sir."

One small step for a man, one giant leap for a Prime Minister.

And, with this model, there's enough space for all your friends, Ehud

Call this a Mark I Transport Machine? Tell Davros to try again!

Just thank God you're not on his Christmas present list, Mr. Olmert

This handle is the throttle, this ones the brake, and this lever opens the safety deposit box..

Of course it will only go in circles due to your leaning to the right.

"And the golf clubs go at the back."

"And you're sure James Bond uses these all the time?"

I'll just go and get two horses, and then we're off to the Circus Maximus, Ehud

How do you do a wheelie?

Bush and Olmert unveil seized Palestinian tank prototype

"When they told me about the new Mars Rover, I was expecting a dog."

President Bush: "Well, I guess I鈥檇 stand on it to, you鈥檙e not going to get many clippings on that barrow.."

Israeli Ghias

George: "Don't worry, the RPG comes out the front."

My turn, my turn!!!

And, with a fleet of these, you no longer need to be dependent on Arab oil

George couldn't help but feel smug - he'd *told* his speech-writer he'd spelled segue wrong.

George: "I gave Dad one and he only fell off twice."

Bush's present of a Segway was bad enough, but calling a photo-shoot as well was going too far ...

Well at least one of us isn't off his trolley.

"Onward Christian Soldiers, marching off to war!"

World's slowest man mown down by Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.

Bystander next victim

George, don't do that!

Olmert: "Now that's what I call schlepping in style"

Psst, don't let on, but it's the nuclear powered version..

I thawt it'd be just the thing to get yew round those there occupied territories of yewrs...

Its my turn! I want a go.......What is it.

George couldn't understand why Ehud couldn't get the pogo stick to work

No Ehud, it's right arm in next...

Olmert (thinking) "I went to Washington and all I got was this stupid go cart."

The 大象传媒 Magazine Monitor pulls out an interesting segway for the return of the Caption Competition

George always thought of himself as a pillar of society!

Bush is saying "I tend to have the handles further up, sort a'round my shoulders" and the guy with the ginger hair is saying.. "Ride it like a horse your excellency, giddy up!"

George looks horrified as he realises his din-dins of a can of Pepsi and two Oreos have been made into a golf cart gift for a visiting Premier!

...And the right handlebar controls the flower watering function...

As George ponders life outside the Whitehouse, he wonders could he remake Rolf Harris' 2 Little Boys...

George (throwing his voice) "Which way did he go?" "Who said that?!"

George : "Hey it's the 118 dude. Maybe he has the answer to the Middle East problem."

So, it's no longer George Walker Bush but George Segway Bush?

George: "Yes, this is the PFV or Personal Fighting Vehicle prototype from Dick Cheney's company. Great cost savings, but don't forget your flak vest."

The conversation segued from "How can you possibly have an international agreement that's effective unless countries like Israel", to "and of course China and India are not full participants?"

Of course it travels at an appropriate speed for the Middle East road map.

This time, George was determined that they segue smoothly into the next part of the meeting

Bush was rather pleased with his choice. This gift was even better than the space hopper he presented to Pope Benedict XVI.

No Mr. presedent, it doesn't speak your weight.

After George's plan to humiliate Ehud by causing him to fall off a segway failed, the president lined up a cheeky right hook to speed up proceedings.

Jeeze!! Where do I have to invade to get me one of them!

It comes complete with Sat Nav for the Middle East road map.

"For the last time, if you want to help, just leave me alone!"

Ehud was not impressed by George's "pinch his bum with my long left arm" gag.

George: "Yes, Ehud, I thought and thought about it, and decided what the heck, how about a bit of Kid Pro Quo to grease the skids of our negotiations."

'Well of course you can stand upright with someone holding you up. Now try on your own.'

Wow! That "wheel" thing is an awesome invention!

George was startled when he noticed the third arm protruding from the starnge man's back

Geogre gets ready to swing at Ehud after shouting "Its my turn for a ago, your been on it agesssss..."

Olmert: "Now, where's that road map?"

A little bird (He-He, more like Falcon), named Hilary, told me you'all could use it on our next President Obama.....smirk...I guess she's still sore about her loss.

"I wanna go, gimme gimme gimme!"

George (thinking) "A brillant piece of strategery if I do say so myself. Who wouldn't want one of these? Just hope he keeps it out of the sand."

George stood in the background, properly chastised after being told "look with your eyes, not with your hands"

George: "It's like riding a bicycle, only it's not."

George: "Me Tarzan - You Jane"

Olmert: "But I wanted an iPod Nano."

Fact: A successful negotiation requires a two-wheel dialogue.

No, the armour plated version still requires body armour.

Sorry prime minister, the most recent version is no longer horse-drawn.