大象传媒

Well, I鈥檓 not cycling through these ruddy tunnels

Last week it was apes, this week it's more disturbing

Cameron admits the Tories are down the tube

There's always one loony on the Tube.

Perhaps I should put my hair part back on the right

BlueTube

Mindful of recent criticism, David decides to leave his family out of next year's Christmas card.

Dave reads his paper quietly after nobody will give him 10p for a cuppa

Wait just a minute, that's not how you spell 'cappuccino'..

Oh, so that's what a Comprehensive School looks like..

Dave likes to show he has the common touch, as he heads home in his chauffeur-driven tube train

Mind the sap

Now that would make a nice stocking stuffer

Tory protagonists pushed further underground

Let's see what the Guardian editorial says. Ah yes, "This is no time for an invoice"...

I see Grimethorpe Colliery FC have lost again..

Busking: Conservative Style

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Let's see what's in today's paper... "Gordon Brown Opposes Knife Crime". Well in that case our new policy is Pro-Knife Crime!

David Tennant's replacement poses in the revamped Tardis

It's not mine actually, I just found it on the seat

"This reign is ready to depart. Mwah ha ha ha ha"

Seeing Gordon approaching, David wonders if he should give up his seat to the elderly

"14 Down. TV channel, also blokey name personifying 'man of the people'. Four letters."

With Paper Monitor off again, Dave has to resort to actually reading a newspaper.

Please give up your seat for those less able to stand.

"Let's see...jobs, jobs...ah, here we go....'Manager wanted at football club in relegation zone. Constant abuse from supporters, hostility from opponents, chance of losing job high'. Sounds made for me"

I wish they'd stop stealing my bike...

Upon minding the closing doors, David pursues an open policy.

Cameron decides to fire his secretary after she forgets to staple together his Guardian for him

"So, let me get this right. Recession, bad. Remember that, Dave. Recession - BAD"

I'm going underground

Dave's new signature fragrance guaranteed him the compartment to himself.

After hearing instructions from God, Cameron decides to look after the doors

David starts to feel dirty after finding some top shelf literature.

Leadership training

Cameron decides to secretly catch up on what Lord Snooty and his Chums are up to

Leading Tory reads leading story.

David Cameron's latest successful initiative: a solo flashmob

Cameron followed by cameras after being given an Oyster card.

"Oh hello Mr Conveniently-Placed Photographer. I didn't notice you capturing my 'everyman' glory there"

Cameron desperately tries to cover up the fact that his zip is broken

Just as I thought, 50p cheaper than last week

"Would JUBILLIE've the TFL news today !'

Mornington Crescent!

Bakerloony

As Cameron casually reads his newspaper, everybody else crowds to the far end of the carriage with the hoodies and the students with large rucksacks

At least with The Guardian nobody could be bothered to read over your shoulder.

Where are these oysters I was told about?

Right, lets see if I can't find George Osborne a new job..

Not showering for a week was worth it to be able to sit by yourself during rush hour.

Dave wondered how to best to fund the next election campaign, " Hmm, 3.10 at Haydock..."

"Well, well, well, look at that. Old 'Flasher' Snodgrass, once a leading light in Pop at Eton, now just a High Court judge..."

Cameron tries to dry out after his speech in Canary Wharf

Circle Line to be used as replacement for broker Hadron Collider? Oh dear...

Cameron relaxes in the back of his stretch limo

But up ahead, Boris was enjoying his chance to drive a tube, and play with all the levers..

A Study in a Blue Tie?

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Daily Star falls out of Cameron's Guardian on underground

New union rep urges tube workers to strike

Next time, he thought, he'd get Annie Liebovitz to do his portrait, not 'Arry and his dad's digital camera.

David was amazed at how big London had become. He'd been riding the Circle Line for 10 hours and it still hadn't arrived at the terminus.

Tory leader woos voters with inflating trousers trick

DC was determined not to lose his train of thought

"What do they mean, no First Class?"

Shock photo shows Cameron leaning to the right!

Typical. Buy it at Woolies on sale and two days later the coupons show up.

However much he tried, Cameron's skirt would never *quite* match Beckham's sarong

Cameron tries to hide his concern as the train ploughs further down into the earth's crust en route to his meeting with Peter Mandelson.

It was clear that David hadn't understood the ad that said 'Guardian Angels Wanted on London Underground'.

"Oooo, yeah we'd better have a policy on that...and that...and that, too..."

Ah, Tube origami. Such a relaxing pursuit.

Leading the way for the Conservatives, Cameron is showing that they too cannot afford to drive Land Rovers around Notting Hill.

Hmm, no Page Three girls

As a seasoned politician Cameron had run on the platform of...........Piccadilly.....ensuring his seat in the process.

Cameron vows never to watch Blue Peter again, after being hit by a falling star in Trafalgar Square

What's black and white, but not read all over?

"Britain's in a recession"? I didn't know, thinks Cameron

Cameron studies intensley the answer given to his letter to Dear Diedre that has been published

An early photograph of David Cameron as a teenager, setting out on his morning paper round

"Mind that chap!"

鈥淚f only that idiot Boris hadn鈥檛 banded drinking one could be having a Pimm鈥檚 now.鈥�
Dave was desperately trying to think of was to fit in, unfortunately as he鈥檚 just let one go that鈥檚 not going to be easy.

Does this train stop at Clapham Common?

New Energy Policy Unveiled - Take The Tube and Conserv-a-Tory.

Cameron descends to meet the Devil to check if his deal of swapping his soul for being Prime Minister is still on

If this is rush hour, why is everyone giving me such a wide berth?

Even when reading leftist papers, David can't help but lean slightly to the right.

"Dash it all, I wanted that nice Eoghan Quigg to win the X-Factor..."

Ahh, job vacancies!
Prime Minister:- available May onwards.
I'll give it a try!

"Would the right honourable gentleman in the third carriage please note that this train terminates here"

"No coverage of me on this page..or this...or this...or this..."

At least Dave had brought his own loo roll with him in case of an underground movement.

Although one up from last years phone box venue, the Tory Christmas party was still a flop.

Leadership in readership.

Cameron tries to hide his embarrassment over asking Boris for his advice on how to track down Government "moles"

大象传媒4...Bravo...Cbeebies...Dave. Aha, it was only a matter of time!

If I pretend to read this 2nd hand paper, no one'll think this pictures staged, result!

Cameron thought he'd been riding around on the tube for hours, but decided he'd get out just as soon as he got to somewhere he recognised

How amusing - there's someone else with my name who seems a real blithering idiot.