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Paper Monitor

10:28 UK time, Thursday, 20 August 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

This is subtle.

THIS IS NOT.

Perhaps the world athletics body, the IAAF, should take note. Shortly before Caster Semenya's 800m race at the championships in Berlin, it announced she would undergo a gender verification test.

Not that she's accused of cheating, so let's be sensitive about this, says an IAAF spokesman. "It's who she is physically. As a result it's done very carefully, very quietly just with the aim of working out if there is something that gives her an unfair advantage."

(Paper Monitor obviously works from a subtly different interpretation of careful and quiet. Which is perhaps why NO-ONE HAS GOT IN THE LATTES YET.)

And so begins the speculation, none of it discreet.
"Did a man win the women's 800m?" - Daily Mail front, followed up with "Is this golden girl all that she seems?" on page nine
"Is women's 800m champ a man?" - Daily Express
"Golden girl: Win for gender row runner" - Guardian front, followed with "Gold medallist told to prove she is a woman"
"Gender doubt over 800m star" - Independent, page 46 (not one to move sport to the front)
And, most subtle of all, the Sun:
(and its URL for this story includes the words "Is-sprinter-The-Running-Man.html"

Meanwhile, what did you really learn at university?

For Times , life at Oxford taught her "what an overdraft is, the confidence to pursue dreams and an infallible recipe for Bolognese".

Paper Monitor discovered that icing sugar is not a substitute for cornflour when coating fish. Caption Comp learned toilets are not self-cleaning. And Quote of the Day learned that posh people - really posh people - actually exist. It read politics at a university frequented by such people.

So what did you learn? Share, using the comments form on this entry.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    I've only been at university a year and I've quickly learnt that not only do toilets not clean themselves but also clothes and dishes. Also, surprisingly, food doesn't cook itself. And £5 can feed 4 people with some change left over for a quick bevvy

  • Comment number 2.

    I learned that wasps love Over-head Projectors. In a meeting earlier today with some top level Managers, there was a wasp in buzzing about the room. This was of course the center of attention, despite the ominous gentleman presenting up at the front. Every few minutes, the wasp would fly through the light from the OHP, turn towards it, rocket towards it then bounce off the unit and fall to the floor. This happened several times until someone covered the poor confused creature with a cup!

  • Comment number 3.

    After years of home cooking, I learnt that crinkle-cut chips exist!

  • Comment number 4.

    I learnt that a reputation can be gained far quicker and easier than it can be shaken off!

  • Comment number 5.

    I learnt a thorough grounding in many fields of engineering, including electrical, mechanical, thermodynamics and civil...

    Which is what I would have hoped, having paid for it.

  • Comment number 6.

    I studied chemistry at university. I learned that dropping a small piece of sodium in a bowl of water makes a pleasing fizzing noise. I also learned that dropping a great big chunk of sodium, embedded in a bread roll, in a river, makes a bloody great bang, and more pleasingly creates some wonderfully startled expressions on the faces of those boating near the bread roll.

  • Comment number 7.

    I learned to read the instructions on ready meals properly, as the smell of burning polystyrene when you missed the "all" in the "remove all packaging" step was a bit pungent.

  • Comment number 8.

    1. You can cook fish fingers in a toaster.
    2. Fish fingers, when they have fallen inside the toaster, make an unpleasant smell as they are burning.
    3. Coco Pops do not turn lager chocolatey.
    4. Creme eggs sink in Guinness.

  • Comment number 9.

    I didn't go to university but I have learnt that life experience will get you most places, even if it does seem to take a little longer because you don't have a posh piece of paper

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