大象传媒

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman - the tie, of course!

I'm melting, Dorothy! I'm melting!

Harry (left) fully realised the disadvantages of living next door to a tribe of Amazonian headhunters

I'm feeling thaw - must be the thun

Help! I think I'm becoming incontinent.

This train鈥檚 taking a while to arrive, isn鈥檛 it?

Is it me or can you smell carrots?

Fancy an ice cream?

Fancy an ice cream? Only if I can have a flake in it.

Ruddy Met. Office! I've just had to shovel five inches of "warm and sunny" off our drive.

With temperatures as they are, I reckon they'll be coming back for the coal pretty soon

Your're not clever. You're just a snow-all.

Go away Fido. Bad, bad doggie!

Ok, my turn: 鈥淚 spy with my little eye, something beginning with S..鈥�

We could get married, but we'd only have a frosty reception

Hi! I haven't seen you since, when was it, 1963?

Thanks for the card - it was a bit slushy though

Wall's ices

I see that Raymond Briggs next door is scribbling in his notebook again

Snowman at right: "At least you've got hair."

I see Bill鈥檚 at it again, show off. I mean, swimming trunks, what鈥檚 that all about?

This acupuncture isn't working - I've still got a splitting headache

Personally, I rather fancied skiing this year

Snowman at right: No, mate, I'm your conscience.

The neighbours will never spot the new CCTV I've installed

Kilroy most certainly was here

Once upon a time they had both been huge but their popularity was shrinking like snow off a dyke.

I鈥檝e decided to leave you John. You鈥檝e been very cold to me recently..

I did warn you not to wear your thermals

Mr Bill gets a Mini Me

For a few brief days, Harry need no longer be ashamed of his wife's fetish for garden gnomes

Do you fancy a curry too?

I'm afraid of heights

Gordon Brown survives the vote, and Hell (shown here) does indeed freeze over

This is Dermot Murnaghan, for Sky News, with the latest on the weather.

The years had not been kind to Frosty

Well, I'm for jumping. It may not have worked out for Humpty, but he landed all wrong.

Hey, Frosty, did you know they'd named a breakfast cereal after you?

Has Hell frozen over yet?

Don't worry, the Drugs Squad will never think of looking out here

Go take a powder

What do you mean, you think you've got a cold?

It鈥檚 not the dogs, it鈥檚 not even the cats. It鈥檚 those damn pigeons I hate..

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Scientists are worried as swine flu jumps species and infects snowmen

We've been short-changed I tell you. There's at least six inches on the ground.

Sorry, mate. Why that stupid dog thought you were marshmallow, I do not know.

And I suppose you want jimmies with that.

Brain freeze? Teach you to eat that ice cream so fast.

"Hello, good evening, and welcome. I'm David Frosty the Snowman."

The pigeon on the right looks forward to resuming the race that it started before Christmas.

G spot? Darling, I haven't even found my legs yet.

And then this rabbit came along and ate my nose

So then the policeman yelled "Freeze!"

I could look like DC with a bit of air brushing, too.

"If today is Thawsday why are we still frozen."

It doesn't surprise me the freeze on interest rates is continuing

It's so cold I can't feel my feet...

Me too.

"Sooty and Sweep never spotted the snowballs heading their way."

The cold weather had adverse effects on the queue to buy cat litter

Who you calling big nose? At least I've got one.

I always fancied being a lorry driver, myself - artics, of course

How's the acupuncture going?

Well, the neighbours don't like us - they've really taken a fence

Gordon had been busy in the garden of Number 10 building effigies of Hoon and Hewitt.

How's about we both make a dash for the freezer?

Well, it must be hot - the perspiration is just pouring off you

I see Jonathan Ross has been given the cold shoulder too

Why was Frosty so popular down the pub?
Because whenever he entered he'd say 'the Snowballs are on me.'

Have you seen my car keys?

Ever get the feeling the Twig Monster is sneaking up on you?

Oh, look, Smithers is being made into a snow fort.

And if one small snowman would accidentally fall...
There would be one small snowman sitting on the wall.

We could get married, but I just can't stand my snowmother-in-law

Six sided, really? That's put a hex on it then.

Snowman on right: I've got a part in new Kenneth Branagh film playing the lead role...

Snowman on left: Really, what part are you playing? Macbeth?

Snowman on right: No, it's not shakespeare.

Snowman on left: Really? So who are you playing?

Snowman on right: I'm playing an ancient god.

Snowman on left: Really? Who? Zeus?

Snowman on right: ...Thaw.

Cold, isn't it?

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Wot? No grit?

Hey, that little kid from Raymond Briggs' book is coming - let's melt and traumatise him

Nick Clegg's policies are really starting to take shape.

Am I melting, or is it dandruff?

Just look at my older brothers haircut. As if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

The budget cuts on Eastenders were really starting to show

Blimey Ethel, your not half the woman that I married!

Just had to pass me the salt, didn't you?

Frosty was beginning to wonder if he'd been a little bit mean to answer his friend's question about how he'd got such a dashing hairstyle by saying he'd used a hairdryer.

Let's hope that damned groundhog sees his shadow.

Oh, c'mon, let's sing 'Let It Snow' one more time.

Global warming is rubbish.

Is that a carrot in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?

Snow balls?! Ask your mother.

大象传媒 provides new ident for fans missing David Tennant already.

Bank of England reveals 'foolproof' method of checking whether the country is in meltdown.

Ice, ice baby.

I thought I would be making a difference when I signed up to be a PCSO.

Don't panic, but I think we're out in the cold on this one.

Rumours of the special effects "not being up to par" for the hotly anticipated relase of Ghostbuster 3 are strongly denied by Columbia Pictures.

Fred the Shred finds perfect disguise to sneak back into the country

Turner Prize winner for 2010 announced early.