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Why the Sony e-reader was invented

At least there's no chance of your leaving THIS behind on the bus, Professor Jones

The Borrowers start a book club

I'm getting a little tired, Professor Wilson - I think I'll finish it off in bed

I'm still waiting for it to come out for the Kindle - I'd never get that in my briefcase..

Nope, I reckon I still need glasses..

Horrid Henry and the Purple Hand Gang really should have gone to SpecSavers!

I think some of the print's coming off - my hands have turned purple

And this is the pocket book

"Write the theme tune, sing the theme tune..."

So let me get this right, you found THIS down the back of the sofa?

Why they stopped throwing the book at them.

I'm replacing your last library assistant, Professor - she'll be unfit to work for two years, after you shut the book on her thumb

It came in the post this morning

This is why Gutenberg took early retirement

Well you entered the competition, you decide what to do with it.

"Kor Anne, that's a jolly big book isn't it...."

(sorry, some-one had to do it)

I can't understand why Amazon were so difficult about sending it

Hmmn, we’re going to need a considerably bigger lectern..

At least i'll be able to get rid of my specs

Can't wait to see how it ends ...

"Nice of Hagrid to give you his own copy."

Of course it's overdue - my van broke down

It's OK it's only the list of jobs the wife has for me

Ribena factory saboteurs found in the library.

What do you mean, is that a fly squashed between the pages? That was the library cat.

Thanks to the recession, The Borrowers have had to re-train as cleaners.

Thank heavens for the Reader's Digest

The 8th Harry Potter book was even bigger then the 7th!

Thank God for pocket editions

Thanks for helping, Julia - as they say, "Mauve-y hands make light work"

Told you forgetting your reading glasses would not be a problem.

Translators finish work on the Arabic version of "War And Peace".

The boys book on things to do with three ballbearings.

I'm going to need a bigger messenger bag I'm afraid

If this is the book of the month, thank goodness it isn't February

Pump up the volume

Well, we're all agreed, this tome wasn't built in a day.

The Health & Safety Department release their new guide for using a ladder correctly.

We've decided to charge late borrowers by the pound

Gulliver was a Muslim?!

Staff at the Golden Globes prepare the rule book for Ricky Gervais to stick to next year.

I wouldn't say it was unputdownable, more unpickupable

Yes, and they used to drop it on their enemies

'Come back to mine and see my flower press' was proving to be a surprisingly good chat up line for Colin.

I'd say we can waive the need for the magnetic strip in this case

It says "Congratulations on purchasing your flatpack bookcase. Please follow these instructions..."

It's OK, Professor - we're coming to get you out now

Can't judge a book by its coverage

Investigators find the supplimentary clauses booklet from the Lib Dem's manifesto.

What do we file it under? Don't worry - we'll build the library around it.

"Ok Dougal, let's try this again: This book is large, but the ones over there are far away..."

And, if I need a bookmark, I use a large carpet

Tolkien's handwriting deteriorated in his final years... 'epileptic spider' said the curator.

Here we see an early, unabridged health and safety manual

And this is our health and safety manual - the last safety officer we had broke his back trying to lift it

"It's a novelty cake by Jane Asher - I heard her whispering to her agent in the corridor that she doesn't know a word of Arabic so just winged it".

The "coffee table book" takes on a new meaning.

It looks good in the lounge, but it's already demolished eight coffee tables

We've just had the title translated - it's "Kansuh al-Ghuri's Booky Wook"

And if you turn to page 388 you will see the jacuzzi...

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"...and this is just the "moderate" edition."

Prospective buyers examine David Cameron's book listing Britain's assets to be sold off

Ever wonder what happened to the more bookish Lollipop kids?

I swear that's a mustard stain next to the notes

The Gideons move into Afghanistan

Even after ten pages I can already see Tom Cruise in the lead role

Lidl releases its own version of the Kindle.

The Tate Modern is asking to do a replica actually

Borrowers caught on university library CCTV

Chronicle of a Back-ache Foretold

Somewhere in here it must tell us how to get back to our proper size.

Caption Competition staff carefully checking their facts after the "plasma screen TV" replaces the metre as international unit of measurement.

After the Police say they will "throw the book" at criminals, Victim Support offer to produce them.

Lawyers put the finishing touches to Mccartney's new pre-nup.

OK, I've printed out the label to the Amazon Returns Department. Did you retain the original packaging?

When John and Mary ordered the large print version of the Council Tax leaflet, this wasn't quite what they were expecting

Government spin doctors prepare David Camerons Big Society pamphlet.

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Publishers finally release a large print version of the World's Smallest Book.

I don't care how big this one is. I'm entitled to borrow six books and I'm going to borrow six books.

Why?

No, I read first and you watch out at the door for Gulliver, then we swap over.

I think this signifies the end of the mobile library as we know it

A new challenge is set for the book worm

See, I reckon I could press the entire rose-bush in here

Historians pore over the 20th Century's shortest election manifesto

But I hadn't realised they had plasma televisions in Kansuh al-Ghuri's day, Professor

The finishing touches are put to the first readable billiard table in the world

Finally, "a book at bedtime" for the bedridden

"I thought it was a bit heavy going to be honest"

Kindle owners manual.

Translating Harry Potter into Klingon was harder than expected.

It was discovered that educated people were more susceptable to the recent Purple Glove Syndrome epidemic risk

Grandma was definitely going to be able to read this copy!

'Come on love, Argos shuts in half an hour. Which bin do you want?' 'This one'

The 30 year secrecy period having expired, the public were now free to interrogate Joan Collins' plastic surgery records

Look at the size of this - cor, Ann!

"No, sorry. I still can't tell if it's the right way up. Try the other way again"