Paper Monitor
12:09 UK time, Monday, 7 February 2011
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Footballer has first name that is also a song by a cult Swedish pop band of yesteryear.
Cue an abba-lanche of puns in Monday's papers.
THE STORY: Fernando Torres plays his first match for Chelsea after his £50m switch from Liverpool. It's against Liverpool and he fails to score in a 0-1 defeat.
THE PUNS:
"FERNAN-DOH!" (Mail)
"GOOD FER NOTHING" (Sun)
"HELL NINO" (Mirror)
"FERNAND'OH" (Mirror)
"£50M SUB STORY" (Daily Star)
What? Not an Abba reference in sight.
At least Sky Sports ventured where the papers feared to tread, by using Abba's Fernando as the soundtrack to an evaluation of the match.
And ´óÏó´«Ã½ Radio 5live's Abba-esque suggested headline was: "Can you hear the glums, Fernando?"
Could you do any better?
In the spirit of a certain pun-fest that used to reside in these pages, come up with your punning headlines for some of today's news stories, using the comments form below.
The 
Comment number 1.
At 7th Feb 2011, John_Sevenoaks wrote:Gnome Men's Lad
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Comment number 2.
At 7th Feb 2011, John_Sevenoaks wrote:Super Blooper
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Comment number 3.
At 7th Feb 2011, John_Sevenoaks wrote:Claims History?
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Comment number 4.
At 7th Feb 2011, John_Sevenoaks wrote:New type of B.O. offensive
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Comment number 5.
At 7th Feb 2011, John_Sevenoaks wrote:Ashes Tour Crashes
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Comment number 6.
At 7th Feb 2011, Gray Gable wrote:Mystery Torres..
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Comment number 7.
At 7th Feb 2011, littleDickie wrote:Torre-ole, not!
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Comment number 8.
At 7th Feb 2011, Candace9839 wrote:Bull in a signing cop
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Comment number 9.
At 7th Feb 2011, Candace9839 wrote:Switch splitter
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Comment number 10.
At 7th Feb 2011, Candace9839 wrote:Wait not want nought
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Comment number 11.
At 7th Feb 2011, Candace9839 wrote:All mouth and Scousers
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Comment number 12.
At 7th Feb 2011, Candace9839 wrote:Picador, any door
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Comment number 13.
At 8th Feb 2011, smokingunnz wrote:debut is on defeat
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Comment number 14.
At 8th Feb 2011, smokingunnz wrote:Torres shall reign forecast
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Comment number 15.
At 8th Feb 2011, smokingunnz wrote:Transfernando
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Comment number 16.
At 8th Feb 2011, TomGillyGillam wrote:The Visitors! Fernand'oh
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