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"And from this angle, the bus stop looks like General De Gaulle."

"Biggish-Ewe!"

Excuse me, but the balloon seems to have left without us.

Baad company

Damn it, I just know we'll be in a caption guessing game

Hello Dali

I couldn't sleep you see

Where do I get the bus to Ewe-ston?

I only have ayes for ewe

We're on our way to France actually

Andy Murray offers exciting new bonus to the next coach

Three Bags Full Consultancy, may we help you?

Well, I said I'm not a cheap date, so we're off to dinner at The Ivy first.

Ram, lamb, thank ewe, Mam

Best stag do ever

I'm so embarassed, at least he could have bought the Farmers Weekly.

He may be white, but we call him Inky, because he keeps running out of the pen

She's in mint condition I can assure you

Oh no, thought the sheep - those wellies are in my size

The first indication internet access is being monitored

Sheep:"You take the high road".. and I'll take the bus

Farmer Giles took 'Rover' with him for his appointment at Spec-savers.

Bus conductor: "No, sir, that space is reserved for PRAMS".

Tractor Supply Catalogue seeks a more urban readership

Taxi! Potter's Baa, please.

(sheep)I can't believe he reads Metro

Yes, you do like a little Gene Wilder and no, I haven't seen 'Every Thing You Always Wanted To Know About Sex'.

Giles had come to London for an operation on a boil on his rear, but the cabbie kept taking him to a chemist's whenever he mentioned his farmer cyst

Well, he looks like a spy, but, there again, he also looks like a shepherd - maybe he's a shepherd spy

But this little voice at the back of his mind kept saying, yes as a doctor you can be attracted to your patients, but not when you're a vet.

Don't worry, Musa, no one will know

Cabbie, take me to Ram Summers' Sex Shop

Stupid cabbie took me to see a French girl - I wanted a vet, not Yvette

Gyles was clearly a Metro sexual

The fancy dress invitation did not specify same species

Oh Harry, why can't you just take sandwiches to work like everybody else?

"Them Londoners, they'll fleece anyone."

His parents didn't understand, the last thing he remembered was his dad telling him to 'get the flock outta here', well that's what he thought he said.

How ’ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm, After they’ve seen Paree?

What do you mean it's not allowed on the bus it's a Sheep Dog

I see day trips to London just got cheaper from Cardiff.

Mr Wolfe I presume?

"Ruddy sheep must have caught the 10.15 from Parkway to Paddington"

One single and one return to the abbatoir please

If he'd had a pig with him, he could have been fined for porking on double yellow lines

Cameron and Clegg on the town, watch those wellies lad...

Giles clearly used manure for underarm deodorant

Tweed Cwed

Shear madness

Charles was upset that Farmville still didn't include an internet dating option

Pigs and chickens on the tube? Don't be daft.

Giles was arrested for sheep-worrying, after he'd been found wandering around London muttering "Mint sauce, mint sauce ..."

Midnight Cowboy 2 - midday farmboy

Yet another Media Studies graduate enters gainful employment.

Harry just wished he hadn't bought the DIY cardigan on eBay

Ah well, could be worse - I could be standing in Sao Paolo dressed up like a mime.

Relax, I left my avatar trapped in the hay bales

A victim of a designer dog scam(r) returns home after being informed by the vet that his new pet(l) is most definitely not a Labradoodle.

We're trying to capture the mystery knitter

Do you mind if we prance with your date?

Should've gone by Ewe-Tube

Come the next Mayoral election, Dick Whittington planned to appeal to the herd mentality.

Get Orf Moi Laaaaaaandon

Roger Waters and the pics that never made it onto the Animals album cover.

Ovine Street please.

Demon Baa-Baa of Fleece Treat

The RNIB's experiment with guidesheep proved to be mostly unsuccessful, as this Dorset man discovered when he tried to pop out for some milk and ended up at a demonstration against NHS cuts.

Ewe's on first?

single to Baarnet please

Those Guide Dogs for the Blind people will have their April Fools' pranks

"Aw right mate?" "Oh, mutton grumble..."

Herd on the street

There was nothing to worry about Bert was just sleepwalking

Farmer Harry decided to have his eyes tested after he and his sheep were unimpressed with their ride on the London Ewe

Matt Baker sets off for another day in the One Show Studio

"Smithfield? Yeah, sounds great"

Dominic was determined to show off his new CountryFilofax

"You definitely need glasses...the bus stop says London Eye...not London Ewe!"

Always pays to read the small print if you shop at Farmers Markets.

It was take away. It was lamb. But it wasn't donar.

Metrosexual man baag.

The Riot Police estimated there were at least 3,000 sheep present

Suddenly things were looking up for London's fox population.

Turn again Dick

All aboard for Baarking.

(Tried it without the r, looked odd.)

Even if Birmingham Jail IS privatised, I'm sure your pen will be safe

On his first visit to a Farmers' Market, Londoner Gerry had spent ages looking for the sell-by date

Midsomer Murders' new producer was determined to shake off the "parochial" tag.

Giles at last found out what the Metro was published for, as he desperately tried to keep the flies off his sheep

At long last, Noah had managed to catch him, and could think about casting off

Luckily, Barry flagged down Fred Housego's taxi, and he was able to explain to him what an even-toed ungulate was.

Shaun was upset about having to go by taxi, as Wallace and Gromit always had a stretch limo

Derek was having more success hailing a cab with the Metro than with a copy of Playsheep

I say, do you go anywhere near the International Clowns' Convention?

That bendy bus was no good - it was just like walking over a cattle grid

Giles thought it must be a very strange drinks party if they asked you to bring some Mouton with you

It was Giles' first day in the City, and he clearly hadn't understood what was meant by a Sky High Earnings Expectations Possibly investment

It was the last time Gerald would raise his arm like that at a Farmers' Auction

Kevin had got a job at the Met Office, and was asked to talk about the wether

Two legs good, four legs baa'd