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"And No. 5 is now in the lead, both the remaining drivers having passed Number 2 several laps ago..."

No, I'm Loo-is Hamilton

Only for those that are feeling a little flushed.

A parable for Arnold Schwarzenegger's life

Help! Mum! The puppy has run off with the toilet roll again....!

The pit crew was in a funny mood that day

The FIA discover the perfect format for nervous racing drivers...

Grand Pix

And remember, no flushing in the straight away

It was a good thing Beryl decided to go and check what those two plumbers were up to

This comment has been referred for further consideration. Explain.

Nurbergring was spoiled this year by the driver's pre-race dinner choice of a "a nice green salad"....

Bernie Ecclestone's attempt to combine F1 with bowls was misunderstood

Bowl movement.

And now the two racers are coming up to the U-bend ...

Don't get bogged down in the details

.....there were skid marks everywhere by the end of the race!

Has yours got a dump valve?

Hurry, don't flush

Where's the Ausfahrt?

The "Push to Pass" button is a packet of Ex-Lax.

Unfortunately, number five was later disqualified when he tested positive for Toilet Duck.

It only has two gears which we call number one and number two...

Ayrton Senokot

(He was a legend, I know - sorry...)

An interesting Segway indeed

They're going quite fast for bog standard P reg machines....

Thomas Crapper would have been pleased with the pace of technology

Jurgen used to be a closet racer until he met Hans

'I got it off CisternHeads.com'

(There's a website called PistonHeads.com)

No 5 was the subject of a stewards enquiry for having a cone strapped to his left wrist.

I'm no longer a little teapot short and stout...

Loo-is Hamilton and Michael Poomaker

Driver no5 is clean around the bend.

And you join us with the closing stages of the Grand Prix from the Nürburgring of fire sponsored by Madras Curries.

Bran's Hatch

Take that, Lewis Hamilton

The toilet paper's by Lotus, of course

It's a tight squeeze as they approach the Hairpin

Harry Potty and the Chamberpot Secrets

Rolls-Royce announce they are to enter F1 with "Team Bog Rolls"

With only one piece of toilet roll left it turns out to be a paper chase

And here comes Stirling Mess ...

With only one piece of toilet roll left it turns into a paper chase

Has F1 racing gone down the pan?

Team LamBoggini take on the might of MessyRati

Sebastian Unwell shows he is no flash in the pan.

Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond's toilet humour had finally driven everyone to despair.

It's the only way we older folk could manage the Le Mans 24-hour

Formula One? Nah, I'm using Preparation H.

Chariots on Tyre

Jimmy Riddle and Tom Tit battle it out to become number one and two respectively.

And of course Health and Safety demanded that we wear slash helmets

Sat here broken hearted paid a penny and never got started

Loo-is Hamilton was in po position

No matter how hard they squeezed, they just couldn't get themselves round the bend.

Unexpected roll models

The Australian driver complained that his vehicle flushed in the opposite direction to everyone else

No matter how hard they squeezed, they just couldn't force themselves round the bend.

New Road Vehicle marks the end of Motorway "Comfort Stops"

ITV launches its new Saturday night schedule...

The Lo-commode-tion..

We nicked these from the Lewisham Hilton

Michael just didn't feel comfortable sitting there without his newspaper

No, I did not say I had to stop for the pits

... and you can keep your Button

The cars were breaking the emissions guidelines

Life had changed somewhat dramatically over the last twelve months for The Stig...

And it's GO GO GO!

No, you fool, you can't go that way - there's a one-way cistern in operation

Hispania make some improvements

Throne for a loop

There's a steering column between my legs, and it's driving me nuts!

Princess Beatrice's new furniture collection is launched in a blaze of publicity.

You should have thought of that before you set off.

port-a-loo

Pan's People...

The organisers were not looking forward to the next race.
It involved just one contestant ... Mr Bepp Splatter.

After finishing off here, Karl and Gunther went in search of another bouncy castle to destroy in their own evil way...

Duracell let's you go longer.

When you see the red flag, you've got to stop,cock

Two loos 'lectric?

Santa pod? I thought you said senna pod.

Ayrton Senna Pods

Frank Williams supports Max Mosley's call for tighter privacy laws

Can's Hatch

They're nearly at Clearways ...

On your marks ... get set ... wait for it ... GO!

Despite Armitage and Shanks' vain attempts, the Japanese had already slipped past on their turbo-fanned, voice-controlled electric bidet.

I should have done what the circuit suggested - No Burgering

Minimalism is taken to new heights by the Caravan Club.

Such chicanery!

I bet they felt silly doing this, but atleast they can lav about it now

All toilet and no play makes Jack a dull boy

And the French are in the lead with their two Run-os

And even the army have entered two loo-tenants

Do you think they'll put us on U-tube?

Dumper Cars

Tap gear

No, I literally dropped the kids off at the pool on my way here.

I use sat-lav to get from A to B