大象传媒

My mother insisted she didn't want to fork out too much for the limos

Can't we just skip the reception, darling?

The first time I asked her to marry me, she told me to fork off.

Typical, you wait years for a wedding forklift truck, then 3 turn up at once.

I told my boss I was getting married and could I please have a rise ...

He must have done something to a tractor.

When 'I need a lift to the wedding' gets lost in translation.

They can't wait to hear the patter of little caterpillar tracks.

And, for my mother-in-law, I ordered a knife-lift

And we've got empty propane cans at the ready for dragging behind...

Don Quixote Kong.

His standard chat up line of 'fancy a fork lift?' eventually paid off.

And, for the honeymoon night, there was a Coventry Climax

They arrived at the reception in a Rickshaw, but they 'went large' on the Wonton soup starters, and the return transportation had to be hastily re-organised!

Sorry, love, but I couldn't hire a stretch fork-lift from anywhere

The look on her face says it all!
"I thought I'd got rid of this damned thing!"

Don't worry, we'll be at the reception by sundown

Honest, love, this is how Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married

Suddenly, the power tools and accessories on the gift registry all made sense.

Placing the figurines atop the worlds largest wedding cake should prove easy

And I promise to never speak with a forked tongue

Honestly, I thought their brochure said "We cater for weddings" not weldings

For the engagement, he hired a Ferrari ... tractor

Do you take this man (and his tractor) to be your wedded husband?

they were prepared for the highs and lows of marriage

To have and to definitely hold from this day forward...

I doubt whether he got Westminster Abbey right either ...

Thank God I didn't sell him a hearse

I only did it to get a rise out of my mother-in-law

I don't think you quite understand the term 'wedding train' ...

Buy-A-Bride-Online Inc. thought they were being very clever by adding a Groom to the delivery 鈥渁t no extra charge鈥�..

She realised that he wasn't the best looking of men, but there was something about him that seemed to a tractor.

As a screw fell out onto the road, the phrase "Until death us do part" became spectacularly relevant

Look, Ma, top of the world ...

At least the guests would have some cutlery at the reception at McDonald's

Old Oriental proverb: "If your future son-in-law insists on having fork-lift trucks for the wedding, don't stand in his way"

Of course he loves me - he put cushions on my seat

The real reason was the groom's name - she was doing it all ... for Cliff Truk

Love lifts us up where we belong.

It's only the trailer for "Bridesmaids".

And the honeymoon? A shelf in row B143, column 17..

Sticker on back: My other car is definitely not a tank

As the best man jokingly approached with his foam pie, Shen screamed and leapt in front of her husband...

well fork me

Bride and vroom

"You raise me up..."

The reception at the warehouse would be a lavish affair

Following the housing slump Barretts hastily diversified into wedding planning.

He couldn't wait to see her face when she realised that he had booked the Wurzels to play for their first dance.

Things got a little awkward when the funeral procession narrowly beat them to the church.

They'd have no truck with getting married on a Saturday.

"To have and to load, to lever and to cherish..."

In fact, the bride found the whole thing quite pallet-able

Shen's mother had insisted she find a man who was going up in the world

Sorry Kong, but you're not going to get her to the top of the Empire State Building with that

"To have and to hoist"

For the reception, Kong was going to hoist a grand party

Filming for Cars - the live action version had started well

The main course at the reception was going to be Pekin Truck in Hoister Sauce

Shen's mother was in tears ... of laughter

Some say marriage joins them; Kong says it lifts him.

When he proposed, he said he'd fly me to the moon

Hoist by her own retard

Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd now all raise your glasses ...

Forklift Weddings and a Funeral (soon, believe me)

Warrantied for 100,000 miles and/or 25 years wedded bliss.No returns.

An uplifting story ...

And the reception is at Westminster Abbey British Pub

Shen was determined to keep the bouquet out of her sister's reach

Honest, love - same forklift as used for William and Kate's Wedding

Lewis Hamilton leads the Chinese Grand Prix with a radical front wing design.

When I asked you to book a stretch limo, I meant one that was stretched horizontally, not vertically

The groom had already sold the film rights for "The Bride of Kong'

Forklift? No, it's been adapted for chopsticks.

Kong had chosen Shen even though she had actually been twenty-seventh on his picklist

They'd been told about the ups and downs of marriage.......they were relishing it.

Shen didn't mind the fork-lift trucks, but had been unhappy about the wedding dress being made from industrial tarpaulin

"And when the boss said he'd provide the car to the church, well I was overjoyed..."

Shen deeply regretted not getting that job with Maserati

Kong just couldn't wait to see his mother-in-law getting out of the refuse truck

Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' translated well into Japanese with the feud between the Toyotas and the Mitsubishis

The Archbishop of Canterbury complains of overworked clergy because weddings are stacking up...

Fork richer, fork poorer...

King Kong swims to Tokyo!

And in traffic news a disabled forklift vehicle on Highway 101 has led to a five mile tailback......and apparently cancellation of services at the Love Lives Forever Wedding Chapel.

After lying dorment for 11 years... The Millennium Bug Returns!

And the two trucks behind have got our DIY Wedding Reception Gazebo from B&Q

Reasons not to go on Don't Tell The Bridge: #24

That's just what you'd expect from someone who gets a mail-order bride

I told you to enter Channel Four's "Winner gets a Wedding Paid For" ... not Channel Five's

Sorry Darling, but I had a tip-off that all the stretch limos had been bugged by the News of the World

Ladies & gents "A hoist to the Bride and Groom"...

He got her to the church "Just In Time"...

Forklift Weddings and a cardboard funeral

Forklifter, for poorer

So I said, no sweat, we can have the car body fitted on the way to the Church

Unfortunately the other half of the wedding video could only be seen by subscribers to Sky

The bride looked overwhelmed with joy as her husband of 30 minutes beamed with delight. In her head she could hear her mother saying "I told you so".

And for weeks afterwards the Daily Mail ran articles about Pippa's brrrrrmmmmm

I've heard of getting a bride off the internet, but I didn't expect this form of delivery.