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Ben Dirs

Look back in Angers (37)

- As far as I鈥檓 concerned, last night鈥檚 biggest revelation wasn鈥檛 that France have got no hope of winning the World Cup, but that French youths drink and rose rather than cans of Stella.

It鈥檚 depressing to think that even France鈥檚 chavs are more sophisticated than ours, and even more depressing to think that Argentina might have naused up the whole tournament with their .

Although we had planned to be in Nantes by now, Tom and I watched the match in Angers, a pretty (are any French towns not pretty?) town in the Loire Valley.

Hungry for a bit of Gallic culture, we plumped for Le James Joyce pub, which was so rammed to the rafters with hopeful locals that we were forced to watch the first half in the reflection of a bus stop.

Click here to listen to Ben on Radio 5Live the morning after France - Argentina

Coming as I do from Essex, I never thought I鈥檇 find myself rooting for France at anything, but when it became clear the Argentines were going to do the equivalent of nutting the bride at a wedding, the nerves started to kick in.

Those nerves turned to concern at the final whistle as I contemplated capturing the magic and atmosphere of a tournament from which the hosts have been dumped.

Also, bemusement: would the English give their team a round of applause after watching them lose a World Cup opener at Twickenham? I don鈥檛 think so either.

frenchfans_getty438x318.jpg

When Tom鈥檚 new French mates offered us a drink after the game, I didn鈥檛 expect one of them to produce a cheap bottle of aniseed-based aperitifs from their knapsack and serve it up on top of a wheely bin, but, when in Rome, do as the oiks do.

I call them Tom鈥檚 mates because after a few gargles he turns into Johnny Hallyday and can hold proper conversations and everything. It was when he told me he鈥檚 got to work on his that I realised he鈥檇 slipped up a gear and left me in his wake.

So ended another surreal day, which started with me emerging from my bunk to find Tom鈥檚 vest making a cup of tea.

I exaggerate of course (some people need these things pointing out), but when I caught Tommy using my towel to remove a swordfish steak from the oven, it hit home that hygiene was becoming an issue.

The smell problem has been eased by the fact that I am yet to wear shoes on the trip. Indeed, I am turning into something of a , which will probably annoy my dad no end.

I once turned up at his house wearing an eyebrow ring, and not only did he not talk to me for days, I thought he was going to suffocate me in my sleep.

Today we will finally arrive in Nantes, hopefully in time for , and definitely in time for England鈥檚 opener against the United States. Any suggestions as to where to watch the games would be much appreciated.

If any ladies fancy an arm wrestle and are due to be in Nantes this weekend, let me know, we might need you for our next bit of video.

By the way, Fiona 鈥 we have a little bit of a chat on the blog and you think it鈥檚 OK to start taking the rise out of my forehead. Madam, I am as God made me. Saying that, you might have a point - what鈥檚 the French for 鈥渉as the time come to shave it all off?鈥

PS. France may have lost their first match, but, on the upside, there is some serious crumpet in this country. Too scared to talk to any of them, but just thought I鈥檇 let you know.

PPS. Message to bosses 鈥 that risk assessment form, did it cover Tom swimming across brackish lakes? He鈥檚 been gone a couple of hours now鈥

Ben Dirs is a 大象传媒 Sport journalist travelling around France in a camper van with Tom Fordyce.


Comments  Post your comment

  • 1.
  • At 03:24 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Tez wrote:

As you wend your way, hopefully closer, to Nantes have you been keeping an eye on colleague Sonsy's commentary on the ODI decider/ C'mom be honest. Ind all out 187, Eng currently 61/2 off 38 overs.

  • 2.
  • At 03:33 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • roger hattersley wrote:

What is the point of this?

Have you done the joke yet of eating frogs legs? etc

The French drink pastis and the girls are pretty. Wow.

If you spoke French you could engage with the girls. In my experience they find open-minded English guys who speak French quite attractive and interesting. You will also then find out how promiscuous they can be.

  • 3.
  • At 03:34 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Chris the Drummer wrote:

I've worked out how you decided your route around France - pick the names that you can make interesting headlines out of!!

As for last nights match, a case of mettez le chat parmi les pigeons! Awesome from Argentina, not so from the French. Just got to wait until Friday for the next match of any worth.......

  • 4.
  • At 04:04 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Peter, Italy wrote:

Hungry for a bit of French culture, eh? Try some smelly (even more so than your feet) french cheese and you'll probably get more culture than you bargained for.

  • 5.
  • At 04:11 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Roger, let me guess, you are one of those open-minded English guys that French women find interesting and attractive? And why did you go and ruin the frogs leg gag? We were going to do that tomorrow.

  • 6.
  • At 04:41 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Rob Haamblett wrote:

Just thought I'd leave a quick note to ask what you thought of Angers. I was in a pub opposite the James Joyce last night as I've just moved here from Manchester for my third year of uni. I lust admit I'm very surprised that anyone outside of France has heard of the place, it's tiny! Oh well, bring on America in 15 minutes!

  • 7.
  • At 04:42 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • jmilinnog wrote:

Boys,

You are in absolutely the best area of France for les oiseaux (look it up). Try and get to Saumur if you can and visit the Musee des bindes, which contrary to expectation isn't a museum of wheelie bins or even a museum of exotic S&M gear, but a museum of Tanks, which is excellent.

Yours etc,

Judith Chalmers

  • 8.
  • At 04:57 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • ruben gomez wrote:

I am an Argie living in the US (probably not the best combination, but that's life). I enjoyed the passion, commitment, and courage with which the humble Pumas faced the French... I wish my fellow countrymen remember this victory as an example of attitude towards life, and not just as the rugby match when we beat the French in the 2008 World Cup...
Good luck to England (my wife and children are English), but mind the PUMAS... their balls are bigger than most!
Let's hope for a great World Cup, rugby lovers deserve it.

  • 9.
  • At 04:59 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Philip Sewell wrote:

Frog's Leg's? Please! Isn't that a little old hat (or should that be beret?) by now? In my experience, tons of young French people, including all the crumpet, wouldn't be seen dead near a frog's leg. They're all too busy wolfing Big Macs down. Which is why you'll find that the crumpet doesn't stay crispy that long. The blokes seem to last longer though, I mean just look at those rugby player calenders...

  • 10.
  • At 05:02 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • ruben gomez wrote:

I am an Argie living in the US (probably not the best combination, but that's life). I enjoyed the passion, commitment, and courage with which the humble Pumas faced the French... I wish my fellow countrymen remember this victory as an example of attitude towards life, and not just as the rugby match when we beat the French in the 2008 World Cup...
Good luck to England (my wife and children are English), but mind the PUMAS... their balls are bigger than most!
Let's hope for a great World Cup, rugby lovers deserve it.

  • 11.
  • At 05:29 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Joseph wrote:

Funny blog, I was married to a girl from Angers, lovely town at the gateway to the Loire.

Word of advice give Nantes a miss, compared to Angers it is a dump, try Poiters instead.

England are playing like numpties against the USA, come on England lets have a bit of Gallic flair;

  • 12.
  • At 05:52 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • mike cheyne wrote:

the all blacks were pretty awesome. however, i was interested in murray mexted's comment whilst commentating on itv. he remarked, after sivivatu's second try, how typical it was of fijian style. it made me wonder just how many of the all blacks are actually born and bred new zealanders as opposed to pacific islanders?

  • 13.
  • At 06:19 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Fiona wrote:

Ben

The French for "has the time come to shave it all off" is plain and simple really. I am not going to fall into the trap of saying "can I have it off sir?" either. Oh no....I just have.

Speaking from a woman, you need to get it Grant Mitchell, Phil Mitchell like. Thats the only style left for you. Sorry I am not being nasty of anything, just pointing some important facts out. Some fellas dont realise things you see.

Hope you are enjoying the match by the way. It could be a triple England victory today. Lets hope!!!

I wonder when the last time that happened? Thoughts anyone? England winning at cricket, footy and rugby on the same day?

  • 14.
  • At 06:44 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • pierre wrote:

You seem to know a lot about cliche.. great.

  • 15.
  • At 06:45 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • roger hattersley wrote:

ha ha lol - you caught me out. i'm very closed minded nerd and can't speak any french: parlez vous angleterre n'est ce pas?

But i have had my fair share of femme fatale (heureusement)

anyway have a good trip. but cut out the cliches or the sarahs will lose interest in yer........

  • 16.
  • At 07:03 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Robin Wilton wrote:

Ref. your question about what to say to a barber:

"Monsieur, je veux me faire raser la tete" - 'sir, I would like my head shaved, please...'

Hope this helps. Please blog a photo of the results...

  • 17.
  • At 08:29 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Olly the moule king wrote:


Tom,

enjoying your interesting slant on The Cup. I trust there will be some late night moule eating contest to report on. If I remember correctly there was an English triumph in that in 2003 as well. In Paris.

Olly the Moule King


  • 18.
  • At 09:54 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Harvey wrote:

So guys, what time can i expect you to lumber up to Brighton for the lift?

11.15? wicked. I'll get the Neil Diamond cassette and my regulation french speedos.

  • 19.
  • At 10:32 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Tom Fordyce wrote:

2330: Back in the campervan after a night out in Nantes watching the England game on a giant screen in the Place JB Daviais. Hearing 2,000 beveraged Welshmen booing in perfect harmony makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck, I can tell you.

Anyway - Rob H, Ben and I are now officially huge fans of Angers. Ben had his debut Pastis there and I got rid of my own aniseed-based hangover with a cheeky swim across the Lac du Maine. Aggressive fish, but delightful nonetheless.

Olly le Roi du Moules: talk of your previous triumph in 2003 is all very well, but true champions make winning a habit. Are you willing to take on all-comers from this blog in the ultimate shellfish eat-off?

  • 20.
  • At 11:58 PM on 08 Sep 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Robin Wilton, you are a mighty, mighty man. I will be digging that phrase out at a Nantes barbers on Monday.

Fiona, you are a harsh but fair woman and I respect you very much. Thank you for the advice.

  • 21.
  • At 12:12 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Bindu wrote:

"Some serious crumpet" ?? Is this the level that the 大象传媒 has descended to? Do you know what year this is? I am appalled. Why we pay for this level of gutter talk (and your secret pact with Bill Gates), I know not SIR!

  • 22.
  • At 12:16 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • jrobfletch@tiscali.co.uk wrote:

England were worse than awful, slow boring and dithering about. It was dire dreadful appalling.If they lose by less than 35 points to South Africa I'll count it as a win.
Not unhappy though as default position for all English teams is as losers who occasionally (law of averages?) manage to surpise us. Not this time but who cares one world cup win a lifetime keeps me happy.

  • 23.
  • At 03:05 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • joe wrote:

wishing to find out more about 'serious crumpet' I clicked on the above link, only to find myself confronted with a recipe for brioche!!! most dissapointing! :(

  • 24.
  • At 04:50 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Koko Meyer wrote:

Ben, Tom,

Great stuff, I would have loved to do the whole campervan trip myself during the world cup but can't because of work ... I'm a Frenchman living in Scotland currently in the US for work but I'll be coming back to France Sat Sept 15th for a week holiday (an hour outside Nantes). Shame you guys are a bit late to hit the cost of Brittany cos it's getting pretty damn quiet at this time of the year but there are great times to be had in the Carnac/Quiberon area, give me a shout if you guys wanna come down there during the week i'm around, i'll very gladly show you the place!!! That phrase from Robin Wilton should work wonders for you at the barbers ... As for the poor French opener, we've always needed a good slap in the face to wake us up, well done los pumas although I still don't believe they are the better team ... good thing is, we still have our fate into our hands!!!
When in Nantes, try bars like 'la maison' or 'le remorqueur' (it's actually a boat), they are decent and unusual places, it's been a few years but they should still be there hopefully, have fun!!!

  • 25.
  • At 08:24 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Bindu - Apologies, it was foolish and immature of me to refer to French women as 'crumpet'. But what Bill Gates asks me to write, I write. Bill Gates? What's that all about?...

Koko Meyer - I think we'll be over in Provence when you're back in the mother country, but thanks for the offer and the bar tips.

  • 26.
  • At 09:57 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • SteveHurley wrote:

Mmmm...? French women described as 'crumpets'? No way. How about "delicious, warm, fresh, crunchy Baguettes".
The pick-up line is: "Excusey-moi, gan I 'ave a beete of your Baguette.

  • 27.
  • At 12:28 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Noel H wrote:

I find it amusing that someone who is offended by a reference to French women as 'crumpet' is choosing to read and comment upon a blog on the Rugby World Cup. Rugby, that paradigm of politically correct reference.

Keep it up fellas; and just out of interest how does one get a job like yours? And I'm serious.

  • 28.
  • At 01:16 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Scott Johnson wrote:

Chaps, you planning on heading down through the northern Dordogne ? If so, there's a warm welcome and a special spot for a weary camper van at our bar for you...

French women to practice your new linguistic skills on too, perhaps !

  • 29.
  • At 04:13 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Olly the moule king wrote:


Tom

will gladly challenge anyone to a monster moule match up. I'm four years wiser and fatter and nobody can touch me when it comes to bivalve mollusc munching. You get the rugby out of the way and let's get it on.

  • 30.
  • At 04:45 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Steve Hurley wrote:

Mmmm...? French women described as 'crumpets'? No way. How about "delicious, warm, fresh, crunchy Baguettes".
The pick-up line is: "Excusey-moi, gan I 'av a beet of your Baguette.

  • 31.
  • At 05:09 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • sebastian wrote:

angers is host to les accroches ceours this weekend(like fringe festival in edinburg.) , check out the afrique handicappe cave man bar in the streets , ask to speak to fanny! tell her that sebastian essex boy says hi. She is beautiful, warm but dont try any essex boy chat up lines. I still have feelings for her ok!

  • 32.
  • At 07:46 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Ben Dirs wrote:

Noel H - do a journalism course, get someone to sort you out a job and then act the goat. It might take six years, but they'll eventually send you to a Rugby World Cup.

Scott Johnson - Thanks for the offer. We're off to Bordeaux after this and, if my geography is correct, I think we might pass through northern Dordogne. Where you at?

  • 33.
  • At 06:45 AM on 10 Sep 2007,
  • wrote:

Ben/Tom

You're more than welcome. My only concern is that as we are quite rural/quiet and at 40 mins by bloggernaut from Bordeaux we might be a bit tame and too far from Bordeaux for your tastes.

However, if you feel the need to chill you could always use the pool or do some carp fishing - the weather seems set fair. We also have Wi-Fi so filing stuff shouldn't be a problem. Incidentally Ben, as my wife used to teach Advanced and Defensive Driving, perhaps she could give you a lesson.

The Blog rules say I can't give e-mail or phone numbers, but it appears that if you click on my name on the blog entry it'll take you to our website and that'll give you the info. Failing that, just type "Le Moulin de Malineau" into Google Maps and it'll go straight to us.

Let us know.
Cheers.

  • 34.
  • At 10:31 AM on 10 Sep 2007,
  • Andy wrote:

I happened to be in the James Joyce for the match last Friday night too (remember the barmen with their noisy red horns?) and I want to know what you were doing leering after my girlfriend! And no, I'm not insecure at all, she definitely wouldn't run off with a couple of English blokes in a camper van... Would she? ...did she?

  • 35.
  • At 11:07 AM on 10 Sep 2007,
  • Alice wrote:

very funny. English humor has no equivalent worldwide.
Alice, French from Paris.

  • 36.
  • At 01:09 PM on 10 Sep 2007,
  • julien wrote:

An abolutely not pretty French town ? Go to Grenoble. Unless you love mormon's spirit.

  • 37.
  • At 02:42 PM on 11 Sep 2007,
  • Duncan Smith wrote:

re: 'are any french towns not pretty?' Lille might well be, but not when one's view is glimpsed between the sub-machine guns and riot shields of the friendly police who were there to herd supporters onto 'special' trains to Lens. Were we mistaken for football fans? Did the Scots, Welsh and Irish have similar experiences?

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