Tom Fordyce (archive)
- 大象传媒 Sport Rugby
- 23 Oct 07, 09:01 AM
Hang out the bunting, strike up the band, Tom and Ben are home.
Not quite in a jet draped with flags, awaiting a press corps and tumult of fans, more in a campervan, on a ferry, still wearing those flip-flops. And that vest. Probably.
So here's a best of Fordyce & Dirs, in photos and links to remind you of the past seven weeks' adventure.
You can check out all of .
Continue reading "Now That's What I Call Tom and Ben (in photos)"
- Tom Fordyce
- 22 Oct 07, 09:44 PM
Calais ferry port, Monday morning - C鈥檈st tout. Seven weeks to the day that we set sail from Dover, hope in our hearts and three clean pairs of socks apiece in our luggage, the time has come for Ben and me to go home.
It鈥檚 a very quiet Bloggernaut the pair of us sit in today. For once the well-known brand of mp3 player is silent, the rugby ball motionless on the floor.
The rear of the campervan, as always, looks like a cross between an abandoned refugee camp and an explosion in a pant factory.
Continue reading "Heading back to old Blighty"
- Tom Fordyce
- 20 Oct 07, 11:22 PM
Stade de France, midnight on Saturday - Can I make this blog sigh? Can I make this page shed a soft tear? Can I make these words jump off the screen and link arms with you?
Tonight, the nerve-frying, heart-squeezing, bone-shaking dream that has been .
At a Stade de France so cold the claps froze on your fingers, the Springboks did exactly what Brian Ashton鈥檚 boys had done for the last four weeks 鈥 held firm, made no mistakes, poured on the pressure and picked the enemy off with penalties.
Continue reading "England's World Cup dream dies"
- Tom Fordyce
- 19 Oct 07, 10:22 PM
Paris, Friday evening - Right 鈥 let鈥檚 get down to business.
Like , my nerves are currently clanging like a fire engine bell.
And while Ben is dealing with his personal squeaky-bum hour by , I鈥檓 going for the classic diversionary tactics.
Rather than torturing myself with the thought of how I鈥檒l feel if I don鈥檛 get a ticket, I鈥檓 drawing up a provisional timetable for Saturday鈥檚 shenanigans.
Continue reading "It's the final countdown!"
- Tom Fordyce
- 19 Oct 07, 10:20 AM
Paris 鈥 Friday morning - Every now and then, you have a chat with someone so expert, so unarguably knowledgeable, that you just have to ferme your bouche and listen to every single word they say.
Such was the scenario the other day when I parked myself down next to Martin Johnson and Joel Stransky at a Visa Legends reception down the road in Bercy.
Did they know their onions? My giddy aunts 鈥 to the extent that I鈥檓 just going to step away and let their words speak for themselves.
Continue reading "Legends Johnson and Stransky re-live the nerves"
- Tom Fordyce
- 18 Oct 07, 08:24 AM
Paris, Wednesday night - Suddenly, I feel as if I鈥檝e fallen into the plot of a cheap, tear-jerking melodrama.
After seven weeks, 12 matches and 4,500 miles together in Le Bloggernaut, are about to be split up on the eve of the biggest sporting event we鈥檝e ever experienced.
Two men, one ticket.
I never liked maths, and I like that particular sum about as much as Bernard Laporte likes shampoo.
Despite having been to more matches, travelled more miles and watched more minnows than anyone else we can think of, only one of us has been given the nod by the organisers for the World Cup final.
And it鈥檚 not me...
Continue reading "Desperately seeking a Cup final ticket"
- Tom Fordyce
- 16 Oct 07, 12:16 PM
The outskirts of Paris, Tuesday - 鈥淐onfidence,鈥 sang Elvis - 鈥淭here's no job too immense when you've got confidence.鈥
While was a hero to most, he never meant squit to me. But, as I鈥檝e strolled around in the last few days, the words of the be鈥檘uiffed porker have rung in my ears time and time again.
If there鈥檚 a Springboks fan out there who isn鈥檛 completely and utterly 100% certain that his side will win the World Cup on Saturday night, I鈥檝e yet to meet them.
Continue reading "From Cape Town and Dover they came..."
- Mark Orlovac
- 14 Oct 07, 10:40 PM
Paris - It worked so well on Saturday we're continuing the Orlo/Dirsy blog partnership for the SA v Argentina ratings, but this time with added Fordyce!
Here are our player ratings for the Boks' semi-final win over the Pumas. I have rated South Africa and Ben and Tom are now so inseparable they have jointly rated Argentina.
Do you agree? Let us know your thoughts!
Continue reading "South Africa v Argentina player ratings"
- Tom Fordyce
- 14 Oct 07, 12:17 AM
Paris, early hours of Sunday morning - Words - you fail me. Legs - you can鈥檛 hold me. Liver - stand by me.
I鈥檓 dreaming. I must be. Except in dreams I鈥檝e never thrown myself into the arms of a bug-eyed, bawling Benjamin Dirs while bellowing myself bandy and thumping myself on the legs like a banjaxed Keith Moon.
Continue reading "England in dreamland"
- Tom Fordyce
- 12 Oct 07, 07:43 AM
The outskirts of Paris, Friday - Just one day to go now until .
Gulp.
Right now, Ben and I are incapable of doing almost anything except run round in ever-decreasing circles, squeaking in schoolgirl fashion before collapsing to the ground like a pair of over-dramatic old luvvies.
Continue reading "Quelque chose pour le weekend?"
- Tom Fordyce
- 10 Oct 07, 05:22 AM
Macon, Wednesday, en route to Paris - 400 kilometres down, 400 to go.
At this stage of the trip, with the sunny pitches of the south disappearing in Le Bloggernaut鈥檚 dusty wake and the bug-battered bonnet pointing towards the autumnal north, we鈥檇 expected to feel as glum as in a library.
Instead, our chuggathon up the autoroute has seen the pair of us so sparkly-eyed and perma-smiled that we could pass for aged members of a particularly bad-looking boy-band.
Continue reading "Gaga about Paris"
- Tom Fordyce
- 8 Oct 07, 12:00 PM
Marseille, Monday morning - There鈥檚 no two ways about it 鈥 that was without doubt the greatest sporting weekend I鈥檝e ever been involved in.
Marseille this weekend has been a city drenched in beer, tension, disbelief, sorrow, happiness and wild, wide-eyed celebration.
Even now, with the streets finally emptying of campervans, sleeping fans and plastic pint pots, you can still almost feel the excitement bouncing off the sticky pavements.
Continue reading "Sweet and sour memories of Marseille"
- 大象传媒 Sport Rugby
- 6 Oct 07, 05:38 PM
Marseille - Tom and Ben here, together in one blog. Here are our player ratings for England's quarter-final against Australia. Tom's rated England and Ben, Australia.
Do you agree? Let us know your thoughts!
Continue reading "England v Australia player ratings"
- Tom Fordyce
- 5 Oct 07, 11:28 AM
Marseille, Friday morning - England probably think they鈥檝e got a tough task on their hands, in the World Cup quarter-finals this weekend.
They have. But I can tell them now that it won鈥檛 be as hard as driving Le Bloggernaut around a lap of the .
That鈥檚 right. On Thursday afternoon, fired up on baguette and an over-ripe piece of goat鈥檚 cheese, we took our stinking campervan into one of the world鈥檚 richest countries, put pedal to metal and let rip.
Continue reading "Dang. Dana-nang neh-neh ne-ne-nah nang..."
- Tom Fordyce
- 3 Oct 07, 02:43 PM
The suburbs of Marseille, Wednesday - Hold onto your seats, for I have shock news for you: plan to defeat features some of the most radical strategies ever unleashed on a rugby pitch.
I鈥檓 still shaking after what I鈥檝e just witnessed, to be honest.
But at the risk of being hung for treason, here鈥檚 the inside scoop.
Continue reading "England unleash cunning new plan"
- Tom Fordyce
- 2 Oct 07, 11:55 AM
Marseille, Tuesday morning - 鈥淥h, what an atmosphere!鈥 Ben chirped this morning. 鈥淚 love a party with a happy atmosphere!鈥
I sighed. No man likes to be woken up by a semi-naked rugby fan from , particularly when he鈥檚 dancing around singing lines from his favourite songs - but for once Dirsy had a point.
After four weeks of phoney wars and soggy squibs, the party feels like it鈥檚 truly about to start.
Continue reading "For those about to rock, we salute you"
- Tom Fordyce
- 28 Sep 07, 01:39 PM
Lyon, Friday morning - 鈥淵ou know what?鈥 said Ben this morning, as he stared forlornly out of Le Bloggernaut鈥檚 windows at the whacking down outside. 鈥淲e鈥檙e halfway through our trip. We鈥檙e officially on the back nine.鈥
I looked up anxiously. Since that desperate night spent parked on an industrial estate in St Etienne, Ben鈥檚 mood has been as up and down as a garryowen.
Continue reading "Lyon and the leggy lioness"
- Tom Fordyce
- 25 Sep 07, 01:33 PM
Bedoin, at the foot of Mont Ventoux, Wednesday morning - Some people are born foolish; some have foolishness thrust upon them. Very few combine both those traits, and then also happily embrace additional foolishness with arms outstretched.
It would appear that I am one of them.
My companion Degustation Dirs is fulfilling his cultural remit on this Francophile extravaganza by sampling , wine and he can lay his eager hands on. By idiotic contrast, I decided to break our journey from Montpellier to St Etienne by cycling up .
I know.
Continue reading "Man against Mountain"
- Tom Fordyce
- 22 Sep 07, 10:49 AM
Aix-en-Provence, early on Saturday morning - I鈥檓 not sure which was the louder noise - the yells of joy in the cobbled streets last night as the celebrating citizens of Aix watched , or the two hours of hacking coughs that Dirsy produced around the 3am mark.
Continue reading "Things that go bump in the night"
- Tom Fordyce
- 19 Sep 07, 02:55 PM
Aix-en-Provence, Wednesday - Delightful though the home city of and (Emile, rather than Gianfranco) is, there was only one reason why The Bloggernaut was blocking its cobbled streets this sunny morning: the mighty were in town.
So far on this trip, we鈥檝e only heard distant rumbles of the favourites鈥 inexorable progress whilst chugging down autoroutes or perched in the stands at other games.
Continue reading "Star-struck by the All Blacks"
- Tom Fordyce
- 17 Sep 07, 11:47 AM
Montpellier, Monday morning - You want to know what true happiness is? A man named finding out that the assistant venue manager at the is called Paul Bastard.
The weight off Ben鈥檚 shoulders since he arrived in a country where his name fails to raise a single snigger has been obvious to all concerned, but this was a moment of pure redemption. Only if he had discovered that 鈥淔ordyce鈥 translates as something obscene involving goats and PVC aprons could he have been any happier.
For the residents of , these past few days will forever be known as The Weekend When Nothing Went Wrong.
Continue reading "What's the French for 'schadenfreude'?"
- Tom Fordyce
- 13 Sep 07, 11:18 AM
Condom, again - We should have known that something bad was afoot when we both woke up on Wednesday morning from jaw-clenched technicolour nightmares.
Mine involved hitting a furious Brian Ashton in the face with a misplaced spin-pass, while Ben鈥檚 saw him steal a VW campervan belonging to Steve Coogan before inadvertently driving it backwards off a cliff.
Continue reading "Toulouse, la trek"
- Tom Fordyce
- 10 Sep 07, 12:11 PM
Nantes - Of all the scary sounds you鈥檝e ever heard - fingernails being scraped down a blackboard, two foxes fornicating in the street at midnight, the atonal singing of - nothing can compare with the noise of a hundred hungover Welshmen clearing their orifices in an echoing campsite wash-block at nine in the morning.
For those directly involved it was bad enough, but pity the 60-year-old Frenchwoman who was attempting to do her breakfast washing-up while being brutally serenaded by this furry-tongued squadron of obscene .
Continue reading "Welsh fans in fine voice"
- Tom Fordyce
- 7 Sep 07, 11:25 AM
Rambouillet, near Chartres, in the rain, Friday - A new morning, a new campsite 鈥 and a new way to be woken up before any normal human wants to be unsnoozed.
Yesterday, it was a rabid dog attacking the campervan next door; two days ago, the freezing dawn air whistling round the van after someone 鈥 let鈥檚 call him Den Birs 鈥 left the windows open and the electricity off.
Today? Today it was the sound of unspecified lumps of something falling out of the trees above us and crashing onto the roof of the van.
Donk. Donk. Donk. CRASH. Donk. Donk.
Continue reading "Not so mighty oaks"
- Tom Fordyce
- 5 Sep 07, 08:57 AM
Day three 鈥 somewhere near
Lesson number 62 of motorhome camping 鈥 don鈥檛 leave the window and skylight open when you crawl into your bunk at night.
Someone 鈥 I鈥檓 not naming names, but since it wasn鈥檛 me, you can probably guess who it might have been 鈥 also inadvertently turned the electricity off in the middle of the night.
鈥淚 thought I was switching the lights off,鈥 was the mumbled excuse at dawn this morning, when the brutal reality of sub-zero temperatures in the van woke both of us up before the sun had even cleared the horizon.
Continue reading "Up with les oiseaux"
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