大象传媒

The Searching is over鈥︹�︹�︹��

My Story

From the scant information we already had and my searches on the 1837online register of births, marriages and deaths (for England and Wales) I established the following facts about my Dad鈥檚 mother:

飦� Her name was Vera Vivienne Rhoda Huggett.
飦� She was married to Cyril Huggett in 1938. The copy of the marriage certificate states that she was 19 and Cyril 26.
飦� Her maiden name was Saunter.
飦� She had a daughter, Sheila, during the last quarter of 1940. The birth was registered in Bromley, Kent.

Once Dad had established the link with the Canadian side of his family, I embarked on a mission to find his mother or her family. From the information I already had I tried to search for Vera on the 1837online site. I knew that she was 19 in 1938 so I searched for a record of her birth during 1918 and 1919. I found nothing. It seemed then that she may have been Scottish. Dad鈥檚 Canadian half sister, Karen, was told that Ewart had a Scottish girlfriend during the war. I was unable to find any online Scottish records to back up this theory. My search came to an abrupt halt.

In the meantime, the Canadian side of the story had been published in the Gravsend Reporter on 6th May 2004. We decided to keep Vera鈥檚 full name a secret and just mention the name Vera. We didn鈥檛 think it would be fair on her if she hadn鈥檛 told her family particularly if her and her family were still alive and living in the Gravesend area. Of course we had no idea of knowing how close we actually were.

I then searched for a record of Cyrils birth. I knew from the certificate that he was 26 in 1938 so I searched under 1912 and found an entry for Cyrils birth. He was registered in Romney, Kent.

Following this I searched the 1837online death records for Vera Vivienne Rhoda Huggett. This turned up nothing. I performed the same search for Cyril Seymour Huggett and established that he had in fact died in 1994. His death was registered in Shepway. For two weeks I searched for any Huggetts living in that area. I had not realised that as well as being a little village outside of Maidstone, Shepway was in fact, a district on the Kent coast. It covered New Romney, Hythe and Folkestone.

Assuming that Vera was still married to Cyril when he died, I then searched for any Huggetts living in the Folkestone area. I was excited to find a V Huggett registered. The UK phone book directory provided me with an address and telephone number. So on the morning of 19th May I visited my Dad and gave him the address and number. I left it with him knowing that he would at some point have to ring the number to see whether we could have at last stumbled across his mother.

Ray鈥檚 Story

Ray rang the number during the afternoon but got no answer. Later on in the evening he tried the number again a lady answered. Ray asked whether he was speaking to Vera Huggett. She replied 鈥測es鈥�. He then asked whether he was speaking to Vera Vivienne Rhoda Huggett, she hesitated before saying 鈥測es鈥�. With his heart hammering in his chest Ray said 鈥渕y name is Raymond French鈥�. The line went quiet so he clarified 鈥淚 am Bob Flintoff鈥檚 boy鈥�. At her sharp in take of breath Ray realised that he was now for the first time, speaking to his mother.

On Sunday 23rd May, Ray and his partner Maureen travelled to Folkestone to meet Ray鈥檚 mother. During his visit he also met his half brother John (39) and spoke to his half sister Sheila (63) on the telephone. Neither John or Sheila knew of Ray鈥檚 existence until Vera told them following Ray鈥檚 phone call earlier in the week.

Vera鈥檚 Story

Vera told Ray of the great love that she and Ewart had for each other and how she met him where he was stationed in Bromley. When she met Ewart (also known as Bob) she was pregnant with Sheila. Her husband Cyril was away in the war. He saw active duty in Aden. Vera and Ewart fell hopelessly in love and Ewart was with Vera whenever he could be. He helped her after she had given birth to Sheila and he looked after them both. Ewart was transferred to Milton Barracks, Gravesend and they rented a room in Wellington Street, Gravesend. When Sheila was 3 months old, Vera fell pregnant with Ewart鈥檚 child. In the final days of Vera鈥檚 pregnancy Ewart took her to stay with his Canadian wife鈥檚 relatives in Nile Road Gillingham and Bette Andrews helped Vera during her confinement. The baby was a boy and was named Ewart Reginald Huggett.

Due to the difficult circumstances, three month old Ewart was adopted by Winifred and William French of 173 Old Road West, Gravesend and his name was changed to Raymond William French. Vera explained to Ray why she had to give him up. Ray assured her that of course he understood why she had to do it and doesn鈥檛 have a problem with it at all. She recalls that herself and Ewart took their baby to Mr and Mrs French in Old Road West. She remembers thinking that they were fostering him for a while and didn鈥檛 realise that they were adopting him. That wasn鈥檛 the last time she saw Ray.

During the 1950鈥檚 Ray and Vera both coincidently worked at AEI Cables in Gravesend. Vera noticed Ray a couple of times and knew instantly that he was her son. His resemblance to Ewart was remarkable. She knew that she couldn鈥檛 say anything to him. How would she have known whether he had been told of his adoption? It was also a secret that Vera had not shared with anyone else. Vera says now that she never stopped thinking about her son or Ewart and although she got on with her life, they were never far from her thoughts.

A twist in the tale

When Ray turned up at Vera鈥檚 house for the first time, she told him straight away that she had told her children 鈥� Sheila and John. She then asked Ray to phone Sheila as she had something to tell him. It transpired that Sheila used to live in Gravesend and that her husband was Peter Pay.

Peter is a cousin of Ray鈥檚 first wife Carole. Their paths would have crossed a few times over the past forty years. Sheila and Peter have four children and their youngest daughter; Lisa is the same age as and went to school with Ray鈥檚 daughter Alison. They used to play together at school and go to each other鈥檚 parties etc. Of course Lisa and Alison knew that they were related as second cousins but did not realise that they were actually half first cousins as well.

Carole鈥檚 mother Vera was a Pay before her marriage. She still kept in touch with her 鈥楶ay鈥� relatives and over the years it seems amazing that the 鈥渟ecret鈥� wasn鈥檛 revealed earlier. A chance comment about Ray鈥檚 real mothers鈥� name and it would have been all out in the open. However, it remained a secret for a reason and I believe that fate intended now to be the time that everything was revealed.

Plans for the future

Ray has met up with Sheila a couple of times and they have got on very well. He has also met with three of Sheila鈥檚 children 鈥� Mandy, Lisa and Alan. He has met up with John a couple of times both in Folkestone and in Gravesend. Ray has also introduced Alison and David to their new Nan. Ray plans to have a big party for the English half of his new found family later this year.

My story

Now that Dad has come back down to earth he has had a chance to reflect about the past four months. He can鈥檛 believe that in such a short space of time he has found two sisters and a brother in Canada 鈥� and actually met two of them! Then found out his mum is still alive and met her. Then to find out he has another brother and a sister, the sister who he already knew.

A lifetime of why and what ifs all answered in four months. Everything he wanted answers to had been answered. That is all apart from the one answer he wanted more than anything. To be able to have his Dad tell him why he didn鈥檛 feel that he could write back to him when he wrote. To comprehend why he was able to completely cut his son out of his life is all that he wishes to know. Of course we will never know the complete truth but Karen and I have discussed this and we have come to the conclusion that Ewart gave his son up so that he could have a better life. He made sure that he was adopted in to a wonderful family, a family who could give him stability and love and give him the best foundation on which to base his life.

How wonderful it seems that Dad has inherited his looks from both of his parents. He is a clear mix of both of them. He looks enough like Ewart for Karen, Brian and Lynda to know immediately that he was Ewarts son and enough like Vera so that now sat side by side it is as if they should never have been parted. It seems as if this appearance gives testament to the fact that he is a true 鈥楲ove Child.鈥�

There may be a couple of things that we will never know and it would be impossible to find them out now. Instead Karen. Dad, Maureen, David (my brother) and myself have come to realise what is most likely to be the truth. There was one thing bothering me and it seems now that we have that answered too.

Mr and Mrs French were quite poor; they already had grown up children and were in their late forties. How did they come to adopt Dad? Dad has recently spoken to his adopted brother Ron French. Ron remembers that his mother and father answered an advert in the local paper. Of course during the war, there would have been a shortage of young couples to adopt babies so a couple with grown up children would be the next best thing. We knew that Ewart used to visit his son there up until the time he went back to Canada. It was this that made us think that he must have known them. We thought at one stage that Mr and Mrs French might have known Bette Andrews. Ron has confirmed that this wasn鈥檛 the case. I suppose we have to remember that the laws regarding adoption were very different in those days. Vera and Ewart were able to take their baby to his new home and Ewart was welcomed during his visits.

As for me, I have spent the last 8 months investigating Dads family tree and now it is time for me to hang up my detective hat! The searching has been an interesting story in itself. For me it took a lot of time, patience and effort to trawl through and read many websites and reference books. It was worth it though! To see the joy it has brought not only to my Dad but to his new brothers and sisters and his dear old mum is a wonderful thing. I am glad that it was me that made it possible. I feel proud of myself and of my family. I have developed a wonderful friendship with my new Aunt Karen. We email each other every day and I feel as though I have known her for years. Instinctively I knew we would get on. Of course she will always hold a special place in Dad鈥檚 heart because she was looking for him. As the line from the song goes 鈥淚鈥檝e been found in the living years鈥� (Mike and The Mechanics 鈥� The Living Years)

Alison Slater 鈥� June 2004

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