大象传媒

As the regimental office was in Tetbury we were not as well informed as 362 battery. We overheard conversation. I met Stan Garnham in the WVS in Tetbury and he said there was a rumour that we were off to France in the near future. There was to be an advance party with the guns and vehicles and the rest of the regiment would follow later. Bruce and I and most of our particular friends were on this advance party.

One sunny winter day, don鈥檛 remember if it was before or after Christmas we were off to Southampton with sandwiches and a police escort. We must have taken up about two miles of road 鈥� how the locals must have cursed but they must have been well used to it. It was getting dark by the time we were ready to embark. We stood on the quayside and watched the guns and vehicles being hoisted aboard by ropes. No Roll On Roll Off ferries in those days. Some one pointed out the well known letters S.R. 鈥� Southern Railway 鈥� visible under the camouflage paint on the hull. We boarded and made ourselves as comfortable as possible on the hard wooden seats and by dawn we began to disembark at Le Havre.

We limbered up as the expression was and proceeded a few miles out of Le Havre to a village called St Romain-de-Colbosc and settled in a church hall and were fed and watered. We were there a few days and found an estaminet where we were welcomed 鈥� no doubt they were pleased with the extra custom and proudly produced a beer especially brewed for the Tommies with a crossed tricolour and union flag on the bottle label. The regular troops apparently had proclaimed that French beer was gnat鈥檚 piss months previously and this was an attempt to produce English beer 鈥� obviously French beer with added sugar and brown colouration which was also like brown gnat鈥檚 piss. It was revolting. So we drank French lager a la pression in moderation which was cheaper than the bottles. They must have thought we were a funny lot.

The only thing I remember about the area was that the sign posts were still in place and were remarkably ornate. The rest of the regiment arrived and the next day we were off to the east, first stop Abbeville on the Somme where we passed the barracks and were amused to see the sentry on the gate changed. A poilu appeared, stubbed out his cigarette and relieved the sentry of his rifle. The guard had been changed.

We continued to Hesdin and eventually came to a small village near Lillers and Bethune really in World War 1 country as we could see from cemeteries which we passed. There was much stopping and starting. The convoy was in troop order and one by one the troops moved off to billets or whatever. My troop was to be in Haverskerque in or around it. All around, on grass verges where practicable, were large shells 8鈥� howitzer or bigger we thought just stacked in orderly fashion like soldiers on parade, no obvious guards, just a series of ammunition dumps open to the weather.

We arrived at a farm with a filthy muddy stinking farmyard. So here we were. I was put in charge of non-smokers, about seven, I think, all about my age, and was told to make ourselves comfortable up the open stairs in the loft on top of this building. On the right of the stairs was a stable with a cart horse in it. On the left were a number of cows and the stench was awful. We examined the loft, tiled ceiling 鈥� looked waterproof 鈥� and the floor consisted of rectangular bales of hay, firmly packed. We had lots of room and a soft firm bed and under floor central heating, but the smell! It wasn鈥檛 for several days that we noticed that the bales of hay were not on a floor but were resting on beams with gaps of about 3 feet between. We got used to it and had lots of visitors who discovered how cosy it was. They were admitted on pain of death if one had a cigarette. I kept numbers down to 10.

One of the reservists, Geordie Lloyd, a driver 鈥� I鈥檒l never forget him, balding grey, red cheeks, twinkling blue eyes taught us to play brag and no doubt made a few centimes but it was illegal and harmless and I didn鈥檛 think I鈥檇 be in trouble if an officer or senior N.C.O. found out about it. What else was there to do? Dark early in the afternoon and dark late in the morning. We hung a hurricane lamp from the rafters and I decided that the fire escape if the stairs were blocked was to pull up some bales and drop on the cows below. I cut card schools down to three a week and put up NO SMOKING signs at the door downstairs and we were warm and snug 鈥� but the smell of the cows 鈥� what smell. Awful for town boys but we really got used to it.

At least we started having reasonable food 鈥� hot food in a neighbouring barn, and we discovered that the local estaminet was warm and welcoming and a few of us made a habit of having egg and chips and a bottle of wine once a week. We celebrated Jack Hobbs 25th birthday and commiserated with him over his advancing years. Man of the world that he was 鈥� I was 19 鈥� he ordered a Chartreuse all round after the egg and chips. So we said in our best French 鈥� 鈥渟ous la table鈥� and she weakened and she said we were 鈥渂on enfants.鈥� Of course spirits were not supposed to be served to British troops.

Life was boring, vehicle maintenance, driving tuition 鈥� wrong side of the road, TEWTs 鈥� for some of us 鈥� tactical exercises without troops and while a few of us did the technical side of gunnery with range tables, logarithms, trigonometry, meteor telegrams, non-rigidity of trajectory maps and tracings for fire plows and barrages, the others were doing gun drill in the cold. And it was very cold.

Occasional hot showers broke the monotony. We were taken to Lillers, a small mining town nearby to use the miners鈥� pit head showers, large concrete cubicles covered in thick black grease. The water was piping hot but the grease we discovered was like thick black paint. There was a certain amount of skylarking about and sometimes hysterics because this black grease was almost impossible to remove without turps or white spirit and who knows what secrets these clean and glowing soldiers hid under their 鈥渄rawers cellular.鈥� I remember one perfect black bottom which reduced us and the chap with the black bottom, although he couldn鈥檛 see it, to helpless laughter which apparently was heard some long distance away with satisfaction by the sergeant major who thought morale was high. I just can鈥檛 remember what happened about laundry. There must have been some arrangement but no one appeared to suffer or become lousy from the fairly primitive conditions. Washing was normally in cold water and shaving in the dark was difficult and I remember the merriment when someone used the tube of shaving cream to clean his teeth, but the months passed and soon we could see what we were doing. Boots were the problem because the farmyard was ankle deep in manure and mud but that was well understood and an immaculate turnout was not expected below the gaiters.

We took part in various exercises on the Belgian frontier. In view of Hitler鈥檚 complete disregard of treaties and international opinion and the existence of the Maginot Line there appeared to be considerable concern about the vulnerability of Belgium. In the end the Germans did bypass the Maginot Line by penetrating the Ardennes with panzer divisions and also attached Holland and Belgium at the same time.

Everyone seemed to keep well in spite of our primitive circumstances 鈥� except that I had toothache, not too painful but the M.O. arranged a 2 p.m. appointment for me in Bethune and I was driven to the A.D.C. surgery. The only person there was a sergeant, the dental officer hadn鈥檛 returned from lunch. At 2.45 he turned up, examined my teeth and breathed Cognac fumes and made a comment to the effect that it was a pleasant change to see some decent teeth and made the remark that they are all RWF and SW Borderers round here and they all have teeth like little bits of coal. I duly laughed feeling confident that I was going to have special consideration. I thought that was a promising start but before I knew what was happening he had whipped them out. It really spoilt my beauty and I was very conscious of the fact for a few days.

In March we were transported to Bethune for an ENSA show 鈥� what a treat, Will Hay, hilarious and other acts which I don鈥檛 remember. Previously we had had a concert party 鈥� end of pier type and we sat on collapsible wooden forms, standard army type. An officer arrived late, sat on a form and leapt to his feet holding his behind; he had sat on the end of the form, someone had moved and the gap between the two forms moved too and pinched his bottom. We knew what had happened from experience 鈥� never sit on the end of a folding form. The biggest laugh in the show!

We had two officers in the troop 鈥� Captain Bayley troop commander and 2nd Lieutenant Siley. Now George Siley was a really friendly, approachable, cheerful character, large. It was his turn to go to the bank in Lille to collect the Regimental pay and he asked Bruce and I if we would go with him as the armed guard 鈥� that was typical of him 鈥� 鈥渨ould you like to.鈥� We jumped at the chance.

We were too early for our appointment. There was a small park with a French army military band playing and nearby caf茅/bar. George bought three beers and we listened to the band and commented on the characters 鈥� obviously old soldiers, moustachioed, portly but good I thought. As my father had been in the T.A. in the early 1900鈥檚 before the First World War and had played in the band of the Queen Victoria rifles, posh, based in Hanover Square, bottle green uniforms, very smart, and my mother had first spotted him on the bandstand in a London park, there had always been military band records on our gramophone and always on holidays at Hastings or Eastbourne, each resort had two military bands, I was quite familiar and interested in military band music. I happened to say that there was a lovely little trombone part coming up as I knew they were playing a waltz by Wauldtaufel called 鈥淭res Jolie鈥�. Sure enough two heavily moustachioed characters played it with gusto. We continued our conversation generally. Bruce remarked that his father had been an infantry officer in World War 1. George asked about our education and asked if we had ever considered a commission and we said that we had but thought it politic not to ask about it, as non-commissioned officers and keen we thought we could do the job. And while we slept in stables and barns officers slept in hotels and chateaux. He laughed and said he appreciated the point 鈥� he had come into the army from a university O.T.C. but it wouldn鈥檛 be a wise answer at interview. We collected the large envelopes of notes at the bank and returned to Haverskerque. We thanked him for the beer and said we had enjoyed the trip. Nothing more was said.

It became warmer with the spring sunshine, and flowering trees and we were into May. Little did we realize that in a month鈥檚 time we would 鈥� or most of us 鈥� would be back in England.

漏 Copyright of content contributed to this Archive rests with the author. Find out how you can use this.