大象传媒

Jill Chubb interviewed at Guernsey Museum, by Becky Kendall of 大象传媒 Radio Guernsey 12/2/2005, and recorded onto CD. Transcribed by J David 21/11/2005

I鈥︹�︹��. Now tell me about how it actually ended, you鈥檙e five years old, can you remember what happened, how you knew it was over?
I remember being liberated by the French, and that was quite something, but then the Americans came, and that was even better, because they had all these sweets, and they took us for a ride around the town in their big lorry things, you know, I remember that, that was good.
I鈥︹�︹��. Was it just that the Germans were no longer present, and the French came in, followed by the Americans?
The fact I was pleased about was that you could get out of the gates, no more barbed wire. I used to look at it and think 鈥淲hat鈥檚 it like鈥�. You know, never been out there, don鈥檛 remember being free.
I鈥︹�︹��. And was it long before you were able to come back to Guernsey?
We went to Burnley, and I remember being there, and we had to wait. When they were liberating the camps, I remember my parents were very fearful, and I was terrified, because they had heard rumours about these camps they had found, and the Germans were killing people before they were liberating the camps, before the British could get there, and apparently, I鈥檝e found out, that twenty miles down the road was Dachau.
But to be liberated was fantastic. I remember the SS men, no, the Gestapo, coming into the camp while I was there, in their long black things, all in black, their black cars, because we鈥檇 had some Jewish people had been brought into the camp.
I鈥︹�︹��. That age, between two and five, is the age when you pick up a lot of language, did you end up speaking German?
Not really, I can understand a bit, and I speak a bit, my brother, he鈥檚 older than me, and he would speak more, and even now, he鈥檒l say do you remember this, but not really, I can say some things in German, like 鈥淩aus鈥� and 鈥淗anderhoe鈥� but I don鈥檛 remember, I never really conversed properly in German, just the commands
I鈥︹�︹��. This must have had a huge impact on your life, this early experience. You mentioned that sadly your father died soon after you came back, was that in Guernsey?
Yes, he died in Guernsey, and I think the fact that my father died, my mother was a very strong lady, and she brought the two of us up, she died just a few months ago. I think my father dying, I think it gave me a sense that I could do things, to prove, and it would be for him, for he was very important. I had a scholarship to the College, and I did it for my dad, and I thought 鈥淚鈥檝e done it for you鈥�
I鈥︹�︹��. A sense of determination. But that fear that you lived through, has that had an impact?
Yes, it has, actually, it鈥檚 not a fear of living. Until quite recently, I鈥檇 never shake hands with a German, I hated all of them, I mean literally. And it wasn鈥檛 till recently that I had an experience with a little baby German boy, and I thought 鈥淲ell he鈥檚 had nothing to do with the war鈥� and it was lovely, and I think perhaps this little German boy I met altered my life, up to then I wouldn鈥檛 tolerate any Germans because of the experiences I鈥檇 had, and it didn鈥檛 matter what age they were, really.
I鈥︹�︹��. And how do you feel now, we have German holidaymakers鈥�.
I just ignore them. I mean, they were so awful to us.
I鈥︹�︹��. Do you feel very angry about it?
No, not really, no. I just thank God, and I鈥檓 very thankful, that we came out as a family, and this experience really has made us a very close family, and that鈥檚 what I felt happened. And even now, my family, we鈥檙e all very close, perhaps that鈥檚 what has an effect as you get older.
I鈥︹�︹��. And how do you feel about war now, in general? Times are changing, and we鈥檝e the fear of terror鈥�
I feel great empathy for these people who are put in the same situation as what I was in. And now, with the weapons they have, it鈥檚 terrible. But in those days, it was just as frightening.
I鈥︹�︹��. I suppose you鈥檝e got real experience of what it鈥檚 like to be constantly under threat?
Yes, that鈥檚 right, it was a terrible experience, very, very frightening, and it must have been worse for my parents, because they kept trying to put a brave face on it, I suppose.
I鈥︹�︹��. Would your mother ever talk about it?
She didn鈥檛 much, no, she didn鈥檛.
I鈥︹�︹��. You mentioned that you鈥檙e reluctant, as well.
I was
I鈥︹�︹��. And what changed that?
What changed that was that years ago my cousin 鈥� because I鈥檇 never talked about it 鈥� her son was doing a project at school, and she said 鈥淚 know that you wont want to, and you don鈥檛 have to, talk about it, but would you help Guy out, and would you tell him a bit about what happened in Biberach, and how you felt鈥�, and I sat down and couldn鈥檛 stop typing, so I wrote it to him as a letter 鈥� I think she鈥檚 still got it, actually 鈥� and put down how I felt, and how frightened I was, and the experiences I鈥檇 had, and that鈥檚 what made me start to think about talking about it, but then again, it was not really until recently that you would admit to yourself that you were there, or admit to anybody else that you were there, but having talked about it, it does help you, it does help. My mum died three months ago, and I鈥檓 doing this for them, for my mother and my father.

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