大象传媒

During the war part of my grandfather's farm in Kent was taken over by the army as a live ammo training area. This meant that for the next two years it could be dangerous to go to check on the sheep at certain times of day when live firing was taking place and constant repairs were necessary to hedges and gates which were damaged by trainee tank crews. It also meant the odd bit of petty pilfering.

On one occasion (as my mother tells the story), my grandfather caught two soldiers red handed stealing eggs from the hen house. He requested that they put the eggs back but they refused to co-operate and started to get abusive.

My grandmother's cousin, Wilfred Shewell-Cooper was a well known gardening authority and had an encyclopoedic knowledge of food plants and nutrition (after the war he went on to write numerous books on gardening and famous gardeners). When the war broke out his knowledge of food and nutrition meant that he was posted to the Catering Corps and given the rank of colonel. His work from then on was mainly concerned with writing nutritious recipes and organising a small army of staff to turn them into realities which could be made to feed vast numbers of soldiers and numerous civilians. Wilfred was a very mild mannered man and (I am told) never got angry except when he felt that something was being so serious misused that its whole purpose had been corrupted.

On the occasion of my grandfather's catching of the two egg thieves, Wilfred was on leave visiting his cousin (my grandmother), and at that moment was strolling down the path (in uniform of course) to talk to my grandfather. As he rounded the corner my grandfather addressed him, saying (something like): "Ah, Colonel Shewell-Cooper, I believe these might be some of your men. Would you mind sorting them out for me?" Wilfred instantly felt that my grandfather was abusing his family connection and misrepresenting his status as a colonel of the Catering Corps rather than that of a line regiment. He became very angry and prepared to shout: "BERNARD! I am in the CATERING CORPS!", but found himself unable to speak. The two soldiers, presented with this sudden apparition of an angry, glowering colonel returned the eggs to the hen house and then made polite, but hasty exits. My grandfather then walked the enraged Wilfred back to the house for a cup of tea, while Wilfred explained in great detail his role in the Catering Corps and how that differed from that of a 'proper' colonel. A lieutenant later appeared at the front door to offer his company's sincere apologies for the incident, along with an offer (which was enthusiasticly accepted) to have a new and bigger hen house built by his men (who my mother believes were engineers).

Paul Geddes

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