大象传媒

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In the quiet times we'd crowd round the door to fight for a place to listen. The blue wood was cold on your ear and the trying hurt your neck. It was a game and I, being small, usually lost. But that was when it was quiet and it wasn't usually quiet. Usually it was noisy and the scratching and moaning scared us away. Then no-one went near the door - not unless He slid some more paper underneath. Then the others got excited. Being small I stayed out the way. Sometimes the paper would say 鈥淢ORE PAPER鈥�, or sometimes 鈥淢ORE WATER鈥� and everyone would pass it round to read it and looked sad. Sometimes it was different. Then the bigger ones rushed it off in secret. Once I asked the one with glasses:

鈥淲ho's in there?鈥� Pointing at the blue door. He pushed his hand in my face.

鈥淲hy don't you listen?鈥�

鈥淚 do.鈥�

鈥淎nd what have you heard, Drip?鈥�

They usually called me Drip.

鈥淣othing. I never hear nothing.鈥�

鈥淕辞辞诲.鈥�

And he walked away and that was it.

It was hard to tell how many there was. They all looked the dark and were forever coming and going, in and out and slamming doors. It made you dizzy. I wasn't allowed in no other rooms. I tried counting them all but I got stuck. I tried to remember their faces or ears and all sorts of things. Ears was a good one 鈥榗os they got up close at the door - but it was no good. I wanted a bit of chalk to mark 鈥榚m, but I didn't have none to hand so it was hopeless and they'd probably get funny. They always got funny. I don't think they wanted me to know who was what and how many there was. I don't think they wanted me to know anything. 鈥楧on't tell Drip,' they'd say, 鈥榙on鈥榯 trust Drip as far as you can chuck him.' But I reckoned on twelve all told - and me of course. No-one ever disturbed the blue door.

In the noisy times it was best just to watch. I watched everyone, they watched the door. We all kept our distance. Once one of the bigger ones went up to the door when the scratching was real loud and up he went. He put his ear up and had a listen. I never saw no-one do that before. I stayed in the corner. I don't know what he heard but pretty quick he run away banging his hands on his head and shouting something crazy like he was gonna' cry. He didn't, but it looked like it for a bit.

We'd wait a long time for the paper. They'd say:

鈥楪o'n have a listen Drip.'

鈥業 don't want to.' I'd say.

鈥業t don't matter whether you want to, you little snot! We want you to. Now up Drip!'

They'd be angry and I could see their teeth so up I'd get.

鈥楪et to the door Drip. Go!'

It'd be noisy and there was the moaning and the scratching and they shouted. I'd imagine the blue door cold on my ear and the noise was horrible and I didn't know what to do so I'd drop down like a lump and cry. Every time the same. 鈥榃ell done Drip!' They'd say. 鈥楬a ha! Well done!' And that'd be it. They looked happier then and wait some more. Sometimes the paper would come and it would say 鈥淢ORE PAPER,鈥� and everyone was sad.

And then one day when it was dark it was worse than ever everyone looked scared. The moaning made the light bulb swing and I thought He'd scratch his way out loose. I felt sick and I was scared they'd send me to the door. But they was too frightened to notice me. I must've fell asleep.

When I woke up everyone was gone. All the doors was closed and the place was empty. It was quiet. There was no-one. I'd never seen it like that before. I looked at the blue door. Nothing. Then I thought to myself, 鈥楴ow Drip (I usually called myself Drip in my head), you're all alone and it's quiet. There's no-one here. You could play on your own and no-one's gonna' spoil it with their pushing and their elbows!' So I got up quietly and went over to the door.

The one with the glasses asked me why I didn't listen. But I did listen. I always did but I couldn't never hear nothing what with being small and getting shoved and elbowed and worrying about their ears and wanting to chalk 鈥榚m. But now I could listen proper. I put up my ear. The door was cold but I didn't care 鈥榗os I held it there anyway. And I couldn't hear a thing. What was I listening for? I had to make sure no-one was coming 鈥榗os they'd beat me if they saw me on my own at the door.

I held my breath 鈥榗os it was putting me off listening but I could still hear it. In, out. In, out. I put my hands over my mouth and bit my fingers to stop it and my head hurt and I thought I must be going blue like the door but still it was there. In, out. In, out. And then I couldn't help myself and I gasped. But I was confused. How did I hear my breath if I weren't breathing? I tried again and almost dropped dead. And no! I wasn't me breathing! It was He ! I listened again. In, out. In, out. For certain it was He!

I wondered was he listening to me the same. What did he want? I got scared and wanted to run but I my legs wouldn't go so I thought of knocking or calling out or both but I didn't want to make no noise 鈥榗os that'd get everyone back and I didn't want to set him off again neither. So I just stayed right there.

I've never really been too brave, being small, but as I stood there with my ear to the door I decided to do a brave thing. I said to myself 鈥楴ow Drip, you really must do something. You've done this much already.' So what I did was tap my knuckle on the door nice and light. I looked around and there was no-one and nothing happened. I did it again. Just a little tap with the knuckle. I was still scared even though I was brave. Then a little scratching started up behind the door. I got worried 鈥榗os what if He really got going 鈥榗os then I'd get beaten? But I didn鈥榯 move. And then nothing. 鈥楬e's gone!' I thought, so I tapped one last time just to prove it and how brave I was when there it was - down by my feet - a piece of paper! I picked it up and was thinking should I call 鈥榚m? And where could I get more paper from? But when I read it it didn't say nothing bout paper. Water neither. It said:

Did you see the trees

grown from selfsame soil as you?

No stars in the city.

And I was disappointed 鈥榗os I don't even know what trees and stars and cities were but they all sounded strange and I didn't want to know neither. So I pushed the paper back under the door and run to my corner. Then He started up the usual racket and I heard them all come in and I pretended to be asleep. They came over to my corner and stood 鈥榬ound me and I screwed my eyes up tight and didn鈥榯 move.

鈥楲ook at him! Who else but Drip could sleep through that? Give him a kick'

And one kicked me in the side and I couldn't help but open my eyes 鈥榗os it hurt. They laughed and went away and he carried on behind the door.

I lay there thinking about the paper. It didn't make no sense to me but it I reckoned it meant something. Then I got wondering what the bigger ones was up to whenever they didn't show no-one the paper? Maybe it was more stuff like what I saw? So then I don't know why, but I did another brave thing. What I did was stand up. I stood up and looked at them all and got my breath back.

鈥楢nd what are you doing? Sit down Drip!'

But I wouldn't 鈥榗os I had something to say now!

鈥楧id you see the trees,' I said, 鈥榞rown from selfsame soil as you?'

And they jumped up and started shouting and waving their hands. I didn't know what they was saying, they shouted even louder than the noise behind the door.

鈥楴o stars in the city!'

And I was scared again.

鈥榃hat! You've never even seen a tree in your life. Where d'you get that from Drip? What's your game?'

鈥業t came to me.' I said.

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