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29 October 2014
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Looking for love

Drawing of a woman's face
What do women want anyway?

Looking for Love 3

by a loveless dame
In her third entry, the anonymous blogger recalls an evening of romantic contemplation in a bar with friends. The eternal quest for answers to questions such as 'What do women want?' and 'Why can't men keep it in their trousers?!' continues...

'What do women want?' It's a plain, simple, straightforward question which one of my male friends put to me the other night.听 There was a group of us out in a bar in York city centre, near to where I live.听 'What do women want from a man - what do you want?'.听

Now it takes a lot to silence me but he managed to get a few seconds.听 'You don't know do you?' came his quick response.听 I mumbled a few usual things like honesty (for obvious reasons - can't have another man running off with the au pair), fun, someone who gives hugs.听 And that was the sum of it.听 Here I am looking for love in my forties and I still don't really know what I want from 'the' man.

"Here I am looking for love in my forties and I still don't really know what I want from 'the' man"

Our discussion continued for most of the evening with most of my friends thinking I'd pulled.听 I can assure you he isn't that kind of friend.听 He did make me think though.听 And now I'm totally confused.听 Why?听 When we started talking about our friends' relationships we realised that many of them weren't happy.听

I remember reading somewhere that your soulmate should look like you.听 I know it sounds strange but have a look at couples you know - do they bear a striking resemblance to each other?听 I've become slightly obssessed by this fact.听 I wander around places looking closely and then analysing if I believe, on this theory, that my chosen couple will survive.听 OK, a little strange but it does pass the time.

Anyway back to my discussion with Tom.听 As we were chatting and putting the world to rights over relationships, I spotted this bald headed man just staring at me.听 I have a penchant for men who are folically challenged.听 He wasn't bad looking but I didn't know what to do.听 Should I smile back?听 Should I ignore him?听 Perhaps he wasn't looking at me and was just staring out the window behind me.听 I pointed this out to Tom - and I'm afraid he wasn't much help.听 Men eh!

In the midst of all this I received a couple of texts which prompted Tom to ask if I was having an illicit affair.听 He said the wrong thing as two of my friends are going through relationship breakdowns at the moment.听 Usual thing.听 I had to ask Tom why men just couldn't keep it in their trousers?听 A girl has to know.听

OK so men and women are different - it has taken me a long time to work that one out. But I still don't understand why women throw themselves at men when they're clearly not available and men just accept what is on the plate - no matter what dish is up for grabs.听

Tom pointed out that men just had that basic instinct.听 He had had many offers over the years but I was pleased to hear had put the plate in the bin, so to speak!听 Our chat moved onto 'why are men so afraid of successful women?'.听 Here I am, divorced, truly single, no ties, baggage is there but has reduced to tiny overnights rather than several big suitcases.听 And let's face it, who hasn't got baggage?听 It just comes in different shapes and sizes.听 What am I doing wrong?听

Tom said it was difficult for men to know what women want, which took us right back to where we started the evening.听 Oh well it was fun and I found out a few things from my dear friend, who incidentally has no unattached male friends.听 Oh yes, I did ask!

last updated: 09/10/06
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