I鈥檓 twelve and I鈥檝e had really bad experiences with bullying.
When I was six or seven, and we were just so happy. Talking, laughing, us all sitting all together.
And then, my mum and dad got divorced, the house was sold, and we moved.
The first day was just like an induction day just to see if I wanted to go. It was all fine, everyone was nice, they would invite me to play football, and then I just thought like, I鈥檓 really getting accepted they鈥檙e actually like wanting to be friends with me.
And then it all just went, just really bad.
Every time I鈥檇 go to school someone would call me names, it didn鈥檛 really go to my mind at first but then after a while they were saying something about my family and it would just, get me down.
They wouldn鈥檛 invite me to the games, they would try fight me, swearing at me.
I was just playing football with my friend, he was the only person that played would play with me.
And erm, they just came over, they would say, 'Don鈥檛 play with him.'
They had a baseball bat and smashed me in the chest. I fell on the floor crying.
I just felt like my hair wasn鈥檛 right, my shoes wasn鈥檛 right. I鈥檇 like try show off like, get a new haircut, erm I would try getting new shoes but nothing.
At break time I would sit on my own in corner, thinking I don鈥檛 want to be here.
Just put my hands on my head like that. Probably cry.
I would come home and I wouldn鈥檛 talk to my mum. I wouldn鈥檛 tell anyone. I would just cry on my bed. And my mum would come in and say what鈥檚 happened, I鈥檇 say I鈥檝e hurt myself or something. Make an excuse.
I was too embarrassed. I just felt like no one would believe me. I was just like, because it was so bad I thought everyone would just say I鈥檓 lying.
Sometimes I鈥檇 come home and I felt like I wasn鈥檛 safe, I鈥檇 of just kept checking out the window, I just was scared to leave the door open.
And I would have nightmares in the night. I鈥檇 wake up, go to my mum's room crying saying I鈥檝e had nightmares.
It went on for about two, three years. I felt like this is gonna be my life. This is what I鈥檓 gonna go through for the rest of my life.
It鈥檚 hard to explain鈥 you wouldn鈥檛 think anyone could go through something like this.
Unbearable, the pain.
I do the army cadets now. There鈥檚 no incidents there with bullying. But if anything does get out of hand they鈥檒l say sorry and be all alright.
Since I鈥檝e been there, I can do things better than other people!
I鈥檝e had the drill tests and I鈥檝e passed that first try,
The military knowledge test passed that first try,
Badges of rank test first try,
Air rifle test passed first try,
First aid test passed first try.
And I鈥檝e got the highest marks out of everyone.
It makes me feel, I鈥檓 doing鈥 I'm doing鈥 good for once.
Everything's better but I鈥檓 still the old person. Because the bullying happened for so long, It鈥檚 like, it鈥檚 just added a new part to me.
I wanna build awareness of the bullying so I can just like make these people think look what you鈥檙e doing to people.
You was doing pushing them, flooring them, calling them names, even just giving them a dirty look might really hurt them.
Yeah I just feel like it鈥檚 always gonna be with me. But then I feel like I鈥檝e got鈥 I鈥檓 friends with so many people now, they鈥檒l all back me up no matter what.
Video summary
Jake鈥檚 intimate description of how it felt to be bullied - the sense of isolation and fear that he went through - will help students to empathise with his story.
He describes how being bullied pervaded every aspect of his life, making him afraid even when he was at home, and also how being in a new environment and making new friends through the army cadets helped to develop his sense of self-confidence.
This film will be particularly useful for teachers in opening up discussion around bullying, self-confidence and the effects of an individual鈥檚 actions on others.
This clip is from the series When I Worry About Things.
Teacher Notes
You could use this clip to start a discussion about how to deal with bullying, what to do if you think someone might be being bullied and where to seek extra help, if needed.
This clip is relevant for teaching PSHE at KS2 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland and Modern Studies 2nd Level in Scotland.
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