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Pure poetry...

Bryan Burnett | 20:03 UK time, Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Thanks for all your double acts tonight. Somehow I managed to avoid playing Keith Harris and Orville and instead squeezed in The Black Keys, the Louvins and Marvin and Tammi. I hope you are grateful.

Mind you, I did play Rock Bottom in all its cheesy Eurovision glory. It was funny to hear it again but sadly, unlike Jim on the text, I suspect that none of us have ever had Lynsey de Paul make us a bacon sandwich. Jane Asher did once have to use Miss B's loo but that's as close as we get.

Tomorrow's show was meant to be titled 'rhyme crimes' however I have a problem with that title as the cheesy rhymes that drive some folk wild are the ones that I actually love. Whether you think they are criminal acts or works of genius then get in touch with the best of them.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    WEDNESDAY




    • "Kansas City star,

      That's what I are,

      Yodel-eidel-ay,

      You oughtta see my car!"





    Kansas City Star - Roger Miller


    Keep it Country!
  • Comment number 2.

    "I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say, I got a lot to say. I can't remember now, I can't remember now, I can't remember now."

    'Got Alot To Say' ----- The Ramones

    poetic license ...

  • Comment number 3.

    ok ... steward's enquiry ... same time, alphabetic order kicks in ..... shirley?

  • Comment number 4.


    heehee!






























    A. Git

  • Comment number 5.

    titter titter

  • Comment number 6.


    Mandi takes advantage of Miss Babs' absence to add another 15 points to her total.

    Eight shows to go until the winner is declared!

  • Comment number 7.


    Adam,

    Dionne Warwick spends a lot of time in Brazil. Are y'all neighbours?

  • Comment number 8.

    "Write on the cross at the head of my grave
    For women and whusky here lies a poor slave
    Take warning dear stranger take warning dear friend
    Then write in big letters these words at the end ...

    Cigareets and whuskey and wild wild women
    They'll drive you crazy they'll drive you insane"

    .......... The Sons of the Pioneers

  • Comment number 9.

    Anyone know who tonight's producer was?

    And, is Dionne Warwick gay?

    thanks

    henri

  • Comment number 10.


    1) see #6

    2) I think not, but I know why you felt the need to ask.


    >8-D

  • Comment number 11.

    Here's an indictment we're all going to run from...



    Whoa, Black Betty, ram a lam, whoa, Black Betty.
    Black Betty had a child, ram a lam, damn thing gone wild!




    Who's suggesting these themes, is this not kinda like ear-worms???

  • Comment number 12.



    Young MC - 'Know How'

    I'll treat 'em like doublemint gum and start chewin'
    "I spit 'em out when the flavour's gone
    And I repeat the chewin' practice 'til the break of dawn"

    "I got know-how...and I'm chillin', never illin'
    In my mouth I got two fillin's...whatever!"

    Love this track though...really funky...like the sampling of the 'Theme From Shaft'

  • Comment number 13.

    Oh dear...what can I say...this is just completely full of cringeworthy rhymes...but it's quite a jolly wee tune...

    'Recycle Michael' - P.D.Dewhurst (trivia item...he's 6'7" tall)




    Sure Ian Anderson's played this.

  • Comment number 14.


    On the flute?

  • Comment number 15.

    #14 yes dear...

  • Comment number 16.

    #6 there were points awarded for this evening's dross?

  • Comment number 17.


    *sigh*


    Playing a song requested by Scotch Git = 10 points

    Playing a Country song (regardless of requester) = 5 points

    Ergo, playing a Country song requested by Scotch Git = 15 points

    P.S. March Bonus! Throughout March, a bonus 5 points will be awarded for Country songs requested by Scotch Git, giving a total of 20 points towards the grand prize of a CHOCOLATE EGG

  • Comment number 18.


    N.B. Competition open to Get It On producers ONLY!


    Bambi killers need not apply.


    ;o)

  • Comment number 19.

    Look at the brick wal gravestone where some kid sprayed,
    Saying nobody could be bothered to rule here ok
    Don't believe what you see on tv
    There's no romance for Joey in the city....

    Joey's on the street again -The Boomtown Rats

  • Comment number 20.

    Why did they write a song about a kangaroo?

  • Comment number 21.

    I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
    I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

    If you want my future, forget my past
    If you wanna get with me, better make it fast
    Now don't go wasting my precious time
    Get your act together we could be just fine

    Spice gills - rhyme kills

  • Comment number 22.

    #20 Geldof didn't give a XXXX for marsupials

    He just wanted your Koalas

  • Comment number 23.

    #16

    23 tracks were played tonight, which ones do you think were dross?

    I counted 6 that were obvious. The other 17 I had either never heard before or felt weren't obvious or populist choices. I'm not saying they reflected my taste, just that they weren't obvious, at least, not to me.

    17 points Mandi, highest score yet.

    regardez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 24.

    My love for you is immeasurable
    My respect for you immense
    You're ageless timelees lace and fineness
    You're beauty and elegense

    And then we get

    You're celtic united
    But baby i've decited
    Youre the best team i've ever seen

    If i remember rightly he also manages to rhyme 'play' with 'me'

  • Comment number 25.


    Please pardon the grammar.

  • Comment number 26.

    #23 haven't time to list them all. The Cash/Dylan one was dire, the Gotye one is rapidly becoming this year's Pop Corn, the first two didn't seem to have any sort of actual tune, Rock Bottom is a fair description of itself, Morecame and Wise - oh please.

    'These comments are entirely my own and not in any way representative of the views of the blog, the general public or the 大象传媒.'

    of course a large CHOCOLATE EGG would give sufficient sugar rush to allow me to think that this was a delightful and eclectic mix.

    However, the class monitor says no.

  • Comment number 27.

    Great show last night, and this is a fun little theme.

    "ripping off stars from his face
    funky little boat race"

    Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes

    How many points for the wee Glam gem Mr Arbiter Of Taste?

  • Comment number 28.

    I was staying at the Marriott
    With Jesus and John Wayne
    I was waiting for a chariot
    They were waiting for a train
    The sky was full of carrion
    "I'll take the mazuma"
    Said Jesus to Marion
    "That's the 3:10 to Yuma
    ..." - Warren Zevon

    A tongue in cheek look at the inevitability of death with a nice 12 string hook.

  • Comment number 29.

    #28 brilliant. Did you know that...never mind.

    #27 Boat race = face. Darn no points on the Henri clapometer.

  • Comment number 30.

    29

    Yeah it's a mighty long way down rock'n'roll
    From the Liverpool docks to the Hollywood Bowl

    I always liked too

  • Comment number 31.

    #27


    Nice legs! (Shame about the boat race).


    >8-D

  • Comment number 32.

    ' I was working part time in the five and dime
    My boss was Mr. McGee

    He told me several times that he didn't like my kind
    'Cause I was a bit too leisurely '


    A bit harsh, just cos he was busy doin' somethin' close to nuthin'

    Raspberry Beret / Prince

    Al.

  • Comment number 33.

    Not sure whether to blame Billy Bragg or Johnny Marr for this howler.... I would like to think that the bard of Barking was made of sterner stuff, but maybe it was an off day...

    Sexuality: (Bragg/Marr)
    I look like Rober De Niro
    I drive a Mitsubishi Zero.

    Lads, lads... please!!!

  • Comment number 34.

    Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.

    The pumps dont work cause the vandals took the handles,

    I said "do you speak-a my language ?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich,

    Dont know much about algebra, dont know what a slide rule is for

    I dont want to see a ghost, its a sight that i'd fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast,

    So wild, standing there with her hands in her hair

    The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky, are also on the faces of people going by

    I'm gonna take two weeks gonna have a fine vacation. I'm gonna take my problems to the United Nations

    They took all the trees put 'em in a tree museum. And they charged the people a dollar and a half just to see 'em

    Well I nearly 'bout starved to death down in Memphis I run out of money and luck. So I bummed me a ride down to Macon Georgia On a overloaded poultry truck

    How many times have the weatherman told you stories that made you laugh? You know its not unlike the politicians and leaders, when they do things by half

    We'll go to Yonkers where true love conquers

    The weekend at the college didnt turn out like you planned. The things that pass for knowledge I cant understand

    I don't have digital I don't have diddly squat It's not having what you want It's wanting what you've got

    Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings Of the bluebird as she sings

    Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground where an old man of aran goes around and around

    Mr Green is so serene, He's got a tv in every room

    From 9 till 5 I have to spend my time at work, The job is really boring, I'm an office clerk

    Power from the needle to the plastic, am, fm I feel so ecstatic

    She's got a sister and god only knows how I've missed her On the palm of her hand is a blister

    Locked up inside my opium den Surrounded by some china men I'd sing the song that I sang then

    They seek him here, they seek him there, His clothes are loud, but never square.

    And while lennon read a book of marx, The quartet practiced in the park, And we sang dirges in the dark

    On a morning from a Bogart movie, in a country where they turn back time, You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre contemplating a crime

    Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

    Lord knows the cold wind blows it鈥檒l turn your head around. Well, there鈥檚 hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground

    When your world is full of strange arrangements and gravity wont pull you through, you know youre missing out on something. well that something depends on you

    Everybody's making love and no one really cares. There's nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs.

    The way that we cheered, whenever our team was scoring a touchdown
    The time that the floor fell out of my car, when I put the clutch down

    I'm down the lane on Sunday morning, hungover and forever yawning

    i'm a little shy, I like to stay homeo, Shakespeare's my guy. Julie and Romeo

    Look at that mountain look at those trees Look at that bum over there, man He's down on his knees

    Rolling like thunder under the covers

    Now if I appear to be carefree, It's only to camouflage my sadness
    And honey to shield my pride I try to cover this hurt with a show of gladness

    Gonna write a Classic, gonna write it in an attic

    .....What a tale my thoughts could tell Just like an old time movie 'Bout a ghost from a wishin' well

    Abra-abra-cadabra I want to reach out and grab ya

    Take me down to the paradise city Where the grass is green And the girls are pretty

  • Comment number 35.

    A tinkling piano in the next apartment
    Those stumbling words that told you what my heart meant

    If there was some way to link him to the national grid
    Our power needs could be met by The McCafferty Kid

  • Comment number 36.

    WEDNESDAY




    • "We're as common as muck.

      Buona fortuna! Vaya con Dios! Good luck!

      Where bold is beautiful we don't give a damn...

      Love a duck!

      We're as common as muck!"





    Common as Muck - Ian Dury


    Well, it almost rhymes.......
  • Comment number 37.

    #34

    I think it's 'And while Lenin read a book on Marx' ...

    Although a profound reader, if John did indeed read about Marx then it was doubtless about Groucho:-))

    regardez - youse

    henri

  • Comment number 38.

    Out in the mezzanine
    On the arm of a dumb marine
    Her beauty looks out like a trailer
    Norman Mailer
    Waits to nail her
    He's under the bed
    And he's waiting for her to be dead
    He's out on the patio
    With his polaroid and scenario
    And he's armed and he's dangerously....

    Somewhere In Hollywood - 10CC

    regardez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 39.

    If you want a lover
    I'll do anything you ask me to
    And if you want another kind of love
    I'll wear a mask for you
    If you want a partner
    Take my hand
    Or if you want to strike me down in anger
    Here I stand
    I'm your man

    If you want a boxer
    I will step into the ring for you
    And if you want a doctor
    I'll examine every inch of you
    If you want a driver
    Climb inside
    Or if you want to take me for a ride
    You know you can
    I'm your man

    I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen

    regardez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 40.

    When thinking lyrics my first stop is always ABC

    All of my Heart
    鈥淎dd and subtract
    But as a matter of fact
    Now that you're gone I still want you back鈥

    Look of Love
    鈥淚f you judge a book by the cover
    Then you judge the look by the lover
    I hope you'll soon recover
    Me, I go from one extreme to another鈥

    And of course there is the majestic
    That Was Then But This Is Now
    鈥淔ruit鈥檚 grown rotten on the bough
    Reap what you sow, with a counterfeit plough

    More sacrifices than an aztec priest
    Standing here straining at that leash

    Can鈥檛 complain, musn鈥檛 grumble
    Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble

    Hearts of oak are charged and blistered
    Russians should be baby-sitted
    Americans enlisted鈥

  • Comment number 41.

    #7

    I believe she does have a place here. Not sure where though. I'll have a look out for her next time Im doing the messages.

  • Comment number 42.

    Rhyme crime maybe,but there ain't no rhyme for oranges....



    Al.

  • Comment number 43.

    There's a big toga party tonight down at Delta Chi
    they've got Canadian bacon on their pizza pie
    they've got a cooler for cold Coronas and Amstel lights
    It's like were all livin' in a big ol' cup
    just fire up the blender, mix it all up

    It's a French kiss, Italian ice
    margaritas in the moonlight
    just another American Saturday night

    American Saturday Night / Brad Paisley

    Al.

  • Comment number 44.

    I went sky diving
    I went Rocky Mountain climbing
    I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
    and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
    and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
    and he said someday I hope you get the chance
    to live like you were dying.

    Live Like You Were Dying / Tim McGraw

    Al.

  • Comment number 45.

    Space-age couple
    Why don't you flex your magic muscle?
    Space-age couple
    Why do you hex your magic muscle?
    Space-age couple
    Why do you hustle 'n bustle?
    Why don't you drop your cool tom-foolery
    'n shed your nasty jewelry?
    Cultivate the grounds
    They're the only ones around.
    Space-age couple
    Why don't you flex your magic muscle?
    Hold a drinking glass up t' your eye after you've
    Scooped up a little of the sky
    'n it ain't blue no more.
    What's on the leaves ain't dew no more.
    Space-age couple
    Why don't you jus' do that?
    Why don't you jus' do that?

  • Comment number 46.

    #37
    A shocking schoolboy error on my part, i do apologise

  • Comment number 47.

    #46

    Yup Paddy, you're in with the big boys now you know.


    :)

  • Comment number 48.

    I drive a Rolls- Royce
    Cause it's good for my voice

    Children Of The Revolution - T Rex

    #46

    no problemo - mind you, surprised Glen didn't get in first:-))

    regardez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 49.

    It should, of course, be "practised" in standard English.

  • Comment number 50.

    #47

    You speak for yourself..... I'm 5'6


    (spent ma life calling everyone Bigman)

  • Comment number 51.

    aye, speak for yourself, Adam, I'm 5'5'' and not even a boy

  • Comment number 52.

    That's it - I'm off.

  • Comment number 53.

    I wanted to comment before the show started but it's taken me two and a half hours to read #34

  • Comment number 54.

    #52

    What's happened, GM???

  • Comment number 55.

    He's gone sour?

  • Comment number 56.

    He's missed the Zevon song again

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