Only Sexy People Have Feelings
The awful truth about popular music, particularly music which is devoted to dark emotions (ie not lust or happiness or general excitement), is that the audience needs to feel empathy with the person who is emoting. Their words need to resonate with you, and for that to happen, you have to want to listen to what they are saying. And for THAT to happen, you have to want to keep looking at them.
This means you can only look AT them or UP AT them. Or, to be clearer, in order for a song to fully represent your emotions, it needs to be sung by someone who you could see as being you, someone you would like to be, or someone you would like to be with. An Amy Lee, an Avril Lavigne, a Gerard Way or a Pete Wentz, see?
If you're looking DOWN AT them (and this includes thinking you could out-pull them at their own gig), their feelings are therefore less important than yours, and you're probably more reluctant to associate them with your own. Not unless they express those feelings VERY VERY well (like Beth Ditto does) or they are expressed in a funny way (tries not to write Art Brut, fails).
This won't be news to you psychology students. There's been studies which suggest that in a communication situation, the words you use are far less important than your tone of voice or your body language. Factor in how quickly people make an impression of you based on what you look like and apply that to MASS communication - like pop songs - and it's frankly amazing that any songs ever get released with lyrical content beyond "I WANT MAKE KISSY WITH GURLS"*
I'm not saying this is what I think should be the way of things, by the way, I'm saying this IS the way of things, as unfair as it seems.
Don't agree? Think it's ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC? OK, try and imagine your favourite band - let's use My Chemical Romance for example - replacing their lead singer with someone who looks like the Liberal Democrat MP (and Cheeky Girl dater) Lembit Opik. Now Lembit is probably a very clever man, but he has a face like a crescent moon, and is therefore poorly-suited to singing about his emotions in public...
It's not right, is it? And more to the point, if he started going on about a big parade we all join when we're dead, most people would just giggle and then put all their savings into investigating means of attaining immortality as soon as possible.
So, if they're not allowed to emote, what are people who are not all that pretty allowed to do? Well, they're always allowed to be funny. This is a dynamic which has been part of human interaction since forever. Shakespeare's plays - even the really sad ones - often contain a group of misshapen oiks, whose job is to provide some belly laughs and bottom jokes (or, in the case of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Bottom jokes) so that all the wailing and hand-wringing doesn't amount to a thoroughly miserable night out for theatre-goers. They are called 'mechanicals' and their patron saint is Ringo Starr.
People who are not that attractive are also allowed to be very clever. This is because most people are happy to let other people have their successes and natural gifts so long as it seems that there's a universal balance at work. If whoever-is-in-charge saw fit to equip someone with an extraordinarily smart brain, then it's only right and proper that they should be a minger.
A good example of this is David Beckham. Not that I'm saying he's either a minger or massively clever. But seeing as he's a very talented footballer, and good-looking as well, the one thing preventing him from being chased down the street by hordes of vigilantes, angry that he has been given such extravagent gifts, is that squeaky voice of his and the fact that he begins every sentence with the word "obviously...". That's the yang to his talent/looks yin.
Course, he's still basically up on the deal, right? I mean it's not like Rik Waller, who got HIS voice in exchange for an ego and an appetite the size of Venus and Mars respectively. That doesn't seem massively fair.
Oh, and before you all rush to the comments box to point out there have been LOADS of not-massively-attractive pop stars, it's not like your less-than-gorgeous muso is totally useless, oh no...They can be anything in the band that isn't the lead singer (remember Ringo?).
There is a strict heirarchy at work in bands, and you mess with this at your peril. Basically it works like this:
Best Looking Person In Band - Singer/Songwriter
Second Best-Looking - Lead guitarist/Songwriter or Bass player/Songwriter
Third Best-Looking - Bass player, or Lead guitarist (if they don't write songs)
Fourth Best-Looking - Keyboard player
Gollum - Drums
Good examples of this are Oasis, the View, My Chemical Romance (although Bob and Ray are the wrong way around), Arctic Monkeys and Lostprophets.
Bad examples would be McFly (Tom and Harry are the wrong way around), Take That (ditto Gary and the band), Kaiser Chiefs (all over the shop, really) and especially Fall Out Boy. FOB are particularly interesting because Pete Wentz's Julia Roberts smile is so VIVID it acts as an umbrella to protect Patrick Stump from any undue criticism for his lack of front-man looks...
...well it's partly that and partly that Patrick is doing ALL THE WORK. That's kind of compelling in its own way.
So, to conclude...if you're going to form a band and you want them to perform songs about feelings, in order to succeed in any meaningful or significant way, you will need to get your members in the right order. You need to make sure the hotty is the one with the microphone, and you need to keep the drummer away from the lyric sheet in case all of your songs just become an endless stream of willy jokes.
It would please me no end if you prove me wrong, of course. Bloggers are, by and large, even less fit than drummers!
*Taken from 'I Want Make Kissy With Gurls' by Shaggy (not really).
(Thanks to Kat)
Comments
maybe your rite.....except for one example where your not wrong but not right either is with yellowcard. its not that the singer isnt good looking but i didnt know what he looked like when i 1st listened to their music and yet they still made me cry. and matt belamy, hes not hot but not ugly in my opinon and yet invincible makes me feel really emotional, like im inspired and full of power. and dont be mean to ray, hes really sweet! not hot yeah but sweet. and my cousin prefers mikey to gerard, and my mum thinks he (gerard) looks like a girl cus of the (he did have) long hair and the eyeliner, but i suppose she doesnt like their music.... i think shes wrong though obviously...hmmm, maybe your rite, but i dont really want to admit it, i dunno. im no psychology student, im doing with 3 sciences and geography for a-levels!
so would you like to be gerard way or wentzy then?
[Gerard, no question. He just seems like a more fun guy to be, don't you think? - Fraser]
its so true about mcfly
and arctic monkeys
absolutely true with bon jovi
Dude I just lost my entire comment :S
Anyways I was going to try and give a decent argument against this just for kicks but I can't figure out how. I keep thinking of Jack Black who simply provides another example in support of it, since despite being typically sub-gorgeous he still manages to get everyone's love through being funny.
What Kerri said about not knowing what a singer looked like before you hear a song. It's interesting, people in general will imagine a singer to be good looking, especially when they have a good voice. And once you have decided that you like the song and see a picture of the ugly singer you're less likely to change your mind about the song, because this would make you feel shallow. In fact you're less likely to notice the singer's looks because if you did then you might experience cognitive dissonance of sorts (I am a psych student lol.. basically just means that you have two conflicting thoughts or values).
Gerard Way tends to look like a mixture of Billy Joe from Greenday and Eminem. Especially in the video for Famous Last Words.
Wasn't Bon Jovi okay looking when he was younger?
this is so not true i think sum sexi ppl but most dont ave any feelings sum sexi ppl fink of other ppl but da fing wat reali p****s me off is big headed ppl so dats wat i fink XxX
ITS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE!!! In the Zutons, for example, I think that most people consider Abi (sax player) to be the best looking, not third and Sean (drummer) is not a gollum....none of them are. SO THERE YOU GO! (I am very hyperactive at the moment)
Roz XX
oh yes, and I do agree with the lead singer being the best looking in my example, but thats just my opinion...I shall now stop annoying everyone.
Roz XX
@Sam Jordan.. That's harsh man..This isn't about whether a person actually has feelings based on how they look.. it's about how other people react to them based on how they look and how they're more likely to identify with that person's feelings if they're good looking!
Saying a person has no feelings or doesn't think of others -purely- because they're sexy is like me saying that because you typed your comment with half the words completely messed up you must have a pet dog. It's completely idiotic.
matt helders is not a gollum.
and jamie is just as good looking as alex.
but apart from that, as has to be said that you're absolutley right!
Whoever wrote this is an idiot - FACT
There's loads of ppl who have feelings not just sexy ppl.
[Yeah, it's true. But when it comes to singing about those feelings, most of the time it's the sexy people who get listened to. Do you see? - Fraser]
Oh for God's sake! Whoever wrote this is not saying that to have feeling you must be hot - all he's saying is that if a band has a hot lead singer they are more likely to suceed - and hence sing about their feelings! Actually read the article rather than the title - there is such a thing as irony.
[Yeah! Irony is what you call things with a lot of metal in them, right? - Fraser]
Jessica Fielding, the point isnt only sexy people have feelings, cus if it was id completely dissagree, the point is that the people who seem to be able to makes us feel the 'dark' emotions most are attractive. its not that no one else can make us feel these, but because we subconsiously look up to these people because of their looks it is easier for them to induce these feelings in us. i think thats the point neway.
[Top marks to Kerri. It's the point. - Fraser]
I'd quite like to see Lembit Opik lead My Chemical Romance. Imagine if the emos did takeover the Liberal Democrat party. Out with the orange for a start.
Lolz this is sooo funny i laughed hard when i read this.....but Bob Bryar is not a gollum! And Patrick may not be the best looking guy in the world (cough cough) but he works hard and seems like one of the sweetest guys EVER! ok, ok, maybe thats a bit ott, but ya know......
Haha....do you know what else is hilarious? The bit about David Beckham. I don't think he's that fit really, and he has got a squeaky voice.
Before I go, I need to say one thing. I read something where someone was comparing the super-talented singer that is GERARD WAY to JESSE MCCARTNEY...OMG! They said they were seperated at birth. WTF? They are soo different. Anyway, better go now...i've practically written an essay. Bye people!