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THANK GOODNESS FOR THE SUN'S SENSE OF HUMOUR.

Chris Evans | 16:22 UK time, Thursday, 27 March 2008

So, had it been left to other parts of our illustrious press...

...I, The Lambie Pie, may have been thrown to the lions never to be seen again but today, thanks to Britain's soaraway Sun, it seems the mushroom mention may finally have been taken with the huge pinch of humurous salt with which it was originally intended. Ta for that and phew !

So it seems one has to be careful what one writes here, how on earth Mr. Clarkson gets away with all the things he says (V.V. funnny by the way) in his various columns I am only at a loss to imagine.

Woke up this morning after being naughty in a dream only to find my wife hovering over me asking me had I been naughty in a dream.

"How did you know ?" I asked.

"Because it's part of the deal, us wives know these things."

"How naughty had I been ?" did she think.

"Very naughty indeed, " she replied.

I was at a loss for words and boiling over with redness when I woke up again. This had been a second dream. My wife had in fact left the house two hours earlier to fly to Portugal. This bit was not a dream. So I went back to sleep and carried on.

See, some of us don't need mind altering drugs, the previous events all happened after one glass of wine and a quarter of our last easter egg yesterday evening.

CLP.

2008.

X.

Comments

  1. At 05:50 PM on 27 Mar 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    Testing Testing stop 502ing me!

  2. At 06:00 PM on 27 Mar 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    Testing testing stop 502ing me!

  3. At 06:06 PM on 27 Mar 2008, j wrote:

    CLP - I missed the mushroom reference - oops. Am very anti press anyway so sod 'em all.

    Can I be naughty with you please? Am very bored here and could do with a bit of distraction, we could keep our eyes shut the whole time and then it would be dreaming and not real and therefore totally acceptable....

    jen ewan
    xx

  4. At 06:44 PM on 27 Mar 2008, Geoff wrote:

    I did read that today not that i am a sun newsrag reader but a work colleague had it! Now u followed that up with todays clanger that you dont have planning permission for your chicken coup! They will tear you to pieces over that too no doubt! Mind you my Granny had chickens all her life and i never once remember her say about putting planning permission through for it...FACT!

  5. At 06:45 PM on 27 Mar 2008, Jungle Based Jake wrote:

    Hi Chris,
    Can you play Handle With Care by the Traveling Wilburys 1st thing tomorrow please, brilliant song that reminds me of summer. Love the show.

  6. At 07:02 PM on 27 Mar 2008, The Kate wrote:

    Just checked out your web cam and noticed that you are now a strawberry blond !! hmmm nice !!
    This is obviously affecting through to the grey matter and resulting in naughty dreams ....

    K
    x

  7. At 07:27 PM on 27 Mar 2008, LadyP wrote:

    Happy Thursday everybody

    Clodagh, Will seriously consider ths fashion statement of velcro rollers - but if you hear about a mega accident on the M6 - it's both of us to blame, OK?

    You going to attach any rollers any where Prof?

    Chris - just checked out the webcam and it looks as if you were having another naughty kip! In air time!!
    I'm usually too pooped to dream or if I do I don't remeber it. It's going teetotal that did this - when I used to have an odd bevy I used to dream. By the way - hows Foxy's latest attempt at a dry spell going - no mention in the part of the show I caught tonight! Wish Johnny a Happy Bithday for Monday - he shares his birthday with my pater.
    Early wishes for a Happy Birthday to you too Chris. when can I expect my slice of cake!

    Up at 4.30am tomorrow as travelling to Brum. Why do I do it? For the sheer joy of it of course!!

    ARF - PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE anything by Michael Buble, isn't he cute - even though I think he is shorter than me. By the way I'm 5' 8" and love to make it to 6' on 4" heels. Does anyone know how tall our Michael is?

    Cheery bye

    LadyP

  8. At 07:31 PM on 27 Mar 2008, Sweet Babbo wrote:

    I read the story in the sun just there on my break - talk about sanctimonious!

  9. At 08:46 PM on 27 Mar 2008, wrote:

    Drugs dont work...... why use them?

  10. At 09:02 PM on 27 Mar 2008, lazykev wrote:

    the sun, naughty dreams, clarkson,are you sure it was one glass of wine.

  11. At 10:05 PM on 27 Mar 2008, clodagh wrote:

    Right chaps I'm off over the Irish Sea early in the morning so for ARF..... Given CLP's current theme it has to be "Hold on tight to your dreams", by ELO. I'll be out of range so have that one on me to get your weekend off to a flyer.

    And to Lady P under a scrum on the M6 in the rollers, yes indeed MB is very cute with his lovely treacly voice.

    And what's sweet is that recently I was feeling inexplicably down and lying low, and the ex gave me Michael Buble's CD and told me to listen to Lost. Bless him I had a bit of a blub and felt heaps better.

    We all need a virtual hug now and again don't we. Even eejits like meself.

    A Bientot, xxxs

    Clodagh.xx

  12. At 10:59 PM on 27 Mar 2008, The Stig wrote:

    A late play for ARF and the first tune -

    Lost and Found by Feeder

    A little bit more fanmail for Foxy. She has a silky, sultry voice which is perfect for radio and the business slot is my favourite!

    Keep up the awesome show Chris!

  13. At 11:05 PM on 27 Mar 2008, Debbie wrote:

    Clodagh I love that song, it made me cry when I first heard it too!! The words are lovely. Any hug is good even virtual ones, sending you some now x

    For ARF can I request Break Out by Swing Out Sister for the first track please CLP? By the time you play the first track I would handed in my notice and that song would be the perfect end to the day.

    Must go to bed now, wish me luck for tomorrow guys.

    Love
    Debbie x x

  14. At 11:24 PM on 27 Mar 2008, izzy wrote:

    Friday starter for 10? - FOOTLOOSE ? I love it!

  15. At 03:23 AM on 28 Mar 2008, Prof Plum wrote:

    I tried to post one and all ...


    Anyway speaking of Rollers how's about this for Arf...... arn't they cute with fabulous dance moves.......


  16. At 05:43 AM on 28 Mar 2008, LadyP wrote:

    Prof, Clodagh et al

    Rollers - Remember being the owner of a half mast pair of tartan trews..........God I thought I looked hot. Sure it was well pre 1994 though!!

    I'll bid you adieu
    'cos I'm off to Brum
    Just stick out me chest
    and suck in me tum
    In velcro rollers
    and tartan trews
    I'm sure to make
    the Brummy news

    Sorry folks - just got all poetical whilst in the bath!!

    Any one know how tall Mr Buble is?

    Happy Friday All

    LadyP

  17. At 07:00 AM on 28 Mar 2008, Clive wrote:

    Great show.

    Please don't laugh at Foxy's drinking. A great many people have difficulties with alcohol.

    I would like "Slow boat to china" by Emil Ford and the Checkmates played as the first record on all request Friday for my Wife, Rosalind

    Clive

  18. At 08:04 AM on 28 Mar 2008, Bernie the bolt wrote:

    Morning alll

    ARF - Dancing Queen by Abba. Very camp but guaranteed to get hands tapping on steering wheels.

    Debbie - Good luck.

    CLP - I'm sure Freud would have something to say about your dreams.

    BtB

  19. At 08:25 AM on 28 Mar 2008, jillygoat wrote:

    Debbie - just wanted to wish you luck xxxx

    jillygoat

  20. At 08:32 AM on 28 Mar 2008, Annanboy wrote:

    Please play Mardy Bum by the Arctic Monkeys to start ARF - it's a very funny feel good tune and ties in well with your flying lessons etc - Up, up and away!

  21. At 09:28 AM on 28 Mar 2008, Cheryl the Diva wrote:

    Debbie

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!

    Let us know how it goes - be brave. Head up. chest out. Think of the summer with your wee ones and no more Mr Nasty!

    CLP, my ARF request has to be Friday I'm in Love by The Cure.

    Contrived - yes!
    Friday - yes!
    me in love- yes!

    And I'm still on Cloud 9 after seeing them live last week!

    Been driving a courtesy car for a couple of days thanks to the garage pranging mine when they MOT'd it. Getting used to a brand new Corsa a bit too much - handing it back tomorrow tho!

    Happy Friday everyone.

    CtD x x x

    MfR - how were the Velvets? Are you ears still with you?

  22. At 10:09 AM on 28 Mar 2008, cate D wrote:

    ARF - She's a model - in honour of this weeks state visit!

    Thank you

  23. At 10:18 AM on 28 Mar 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    Guten Morning CLP & Every Blog... Writer,

    Bingo Star ere.

    CLP - Yes the sun 'as got a warped sense of 'umour.... snowed, 'ailed & gailed all damn BH weekend & the past few days now that everyone iz back at work..... it's been beautiful sunny weather.... mind you terdee isn't to good though..... weather wise speaking/ writing!

    Jem Stone - aka ´óÏó´«Ã½ Blog Meister, we need your 'elp!!!! The blog 'as been working well the past week, thought the new implemented improvements 'ad been approved & implemented but the past day the blog 'as gone ape again... 502 errors, cannot display the webpage massages, sorry messages.... it's all stress. I can't finish me 'Bingo Astro Readings' that ave been on since damn October '07 - please Jem be a gem & get this new implement..... errrr implemented!!!!!! Tarrrr!

    PS CLP - Talkin' of nightmares & things that don't work properly - ave been aving a very bad re-occuring nightmare just of late.....
    It all starts when i'm passing BC 'ouse. Next thing i'm standing in the street surrounded by CLP, Wrightie, Sally B & the worst stare of all, Ken Bruce, all glaring at me with their arms folded & we're in the street which is full of fire engines?!?@?
    All I can remember is i'm shrugging me shoulders & saying "I only popped in for a brew.... with abit of ooooh, I didn't know ´óÏó´«Ã½ kettles are like ´óÏó´«Ã½ MICROWAVES & don't automatically switch off"!!!!!
    A very ALARMING nightmare in deed!

    Chow!

    PS ARF - Got some wrock.... say Bad Company & Feel Like Makin' Love - WROCKIN TUNE it goes like this ('eavy power chords accompianied by raw percussion)- 'derrller der, derrller der, derrller der' - then a beautiful philsopical sounding (gentle geetarr solo) - 'derrrr, derrlerrrr derrrrrrr' & strong powerful vocals of wrock & emotion or what about The Spider Bite Song by The Flaming Lips - most good tune ter 'elp Jonny Saunders ter discover this band!

    Chow aagin!

  24. At 10:44 AM on 28 Mar 2008, wrote:

    ARF - 'I GOT NO, I GOT LIFE' by Nina Simone (original version pls not the yogurt remix)

  25. At 11:26 AM on 28 Mar 2008, MfR wrote:

    CtD

    Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

    What a gig. The Velvets were on fire, big time.

    From Scott's snake-hipped Jagger-style moves, Duff's thumping bass to Slash's sublime riffs and solos, the whole thing was fantastic.

    And they threw in 3 G'n'R tracks to boot, although none would be suitable for ARF as one was a 'slowy' and the other two contain, ahem, 'colourful' language.

    So, my choice for this evenings opener?

    Rock and Roll All Night - Kiss

    No chance of Chris playing it, but hey!

    Great weekend all

    Peace and love

    MfR

    PS You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy.

  26. At 12:05 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Gaby wrote:

    Chris,

    I have had some vivid dreams recently: nuff said!

    ARF - with British Summer Time about to commence......how about 'Good Day Sunshine' by The Beatles.

    Mange tout

    Gaby
    xx

  27. At 12:07 PM on 28 Mar 2008, John wrote:


    My request for ARF is Charlotte Green getting the giggles on the Today programme this morning.

    Laughing like a naughty school girl on broadcasting's most serious news show.

    Classic.

  28. At 12:20 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Gingembre wrote:

    Debbie - good luck mate, hope it all goes well

    KWx x x x x

  29. At 12:34 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Phoenix wrote:

    My choice for ARF - Blaze of Glory by Jon Bon Jovi or

    Sunchymes by Dario G to bring on the sunshine as it looks like a wet weekend my part of the UK.

    Debbie all the very best for today - thoughts are with you as you face up to the boss.

    To everyone else - enjoy whatever you are planning or not planning to do over the weekend

    Phoenix

  30. At 12:52 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Debbie wrote:

    This is blooming torture! I can see him walking past my window and wandering around on the CCTV but he isn't coming into the office!

    How can my hands be so cold but palms sweat so much?!? When I hear the key in the door I swear I am going to fall out of my seat.

    Thanks for the messages here and on facebook. It doesn't feel so lonely in here when I know that you guys are out there x x

  31. At 01:01 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Debbie wrote:

    This is blooming torture! I can see him walking past my window and wandering around on the CCTV but he isn't coming into the office!

    How can my hands be so cold but palms sweat so much?!? When I hear the key in the door I swear I am going to fall out of my seat.

    Thanks for the messages here and on facebook. It doesn't feel so lonely in here when I know that you guys are out there x x

  32. At 01:10 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Peter Davis wrote:

    Dear Chris,

    have I just read this or was it a dream. Should I buy the Green wellies or not ?

  33. At 01:16 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Gaby wrote:

    Chris,

    Vis a vis my last post with ARF suggestion 'Good Day Sunshine'..........

    .....I have reviewed the situation.....and, as I look out at the torrential rain, I feel that 'Daydreamer' by David Cassidy is more appropriate.

    Gaby
    xx

  34. At 01:28 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Phoenix wrote:

    My choice for ARF - Blaze of Glory by Jon Bon Jovi or

    Sunchymes by Dario G to bring on the sunshine as it looks like a wet weekend my part of the UK.

    Debbie all the very best for today - thoughts are with you as you face up to the boss.

    To everyone else - enjoy whatever you are planning or not planning to do over the weekend

    Phoenix

  35. At 01:32 PM on 28 Mar 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    Not partaking of the red top I looked on their site and thought they were extremely rude!! Agree with RosieRoo - got no brains to find a story of their own.

    Too many media students methinks? How about one who looks for good news instead of all the doom and gloom and slating people? That would be a first!

    Let's go with Debbie's ARF - should be feeling good by 5pm and that song should be just the ticket. "Hummed and hah'd" myself once and felt like a weight had been lifted off my head/shoulders/everywhere when I walked out of the place!

    CLP Not enough peas in the jar yet so you have to dream? That doesn't count!

  36. At 02:01 PM on 28 Mar 2008, mark owen wrote:

    Chris

    First track for all request friday should be Monthy Python's - I'm so Worried

    Just listen to the first few lines and the baggage retrieval system at Heathrow. How topical!

    Cheers
    Mark

  37. At 02:15 PM on 28 Mar 2008, BINGO STAR wrote:

    Yo Debbie,

    Bingo Star ere.

    Sorry ter ave a sense of 'umour about your work problems ere but I believe in tryin' ter see the light hearted side of everything, not easy sometimes - I know, but your commentations # thhheerrrtie (that's 30 in irish) sound like a Jilly Cooper novel ter me!!!!!!!

    Chow!

  38. At 02:23 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Anne G. wrote:

    Afternoon each

    Had one half day left in my annual leave so upped and offed.

    Debbie: Do it with style - you don't ever have to see him or talk to him again.

    Peter: Was in the Green Welly at the weekend for a coffee. Bit expensive but very nice.

    Anne x

  39. At 02:32 PM on 28 Mar 2008, j wrote:

    My ARF suggestion is something jolly from the GLC (Goldie Looking Chain) what a fun crew they are!

    How about 'guns don't kill people, rappers do'

    or

    'self suicide'

    jen ewan
    xx

    still waiting...

  40. At 02:47 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Jim wrote:

    Chrissy boy!

    Keep it mencap, son! :O)

  41. At 02:53 PM on 28 Mar 2008, wrote:

    hmm.

    1. Footloose,
    2. ELO - hold on tight
    3. Swingout sister
    4. Delihla - Sensational Alex Havey Band. (PLEASE)
    5. That one which is the Girl who is a welder, dancing her boooty off in a room full of staid people -I can hear it,but I don't know what it is called.
    6. Rubettes. Sugar Baby Love
    7. Sclub - Don't Stop
    8. The travelling Wilbury's one, which I like, ,but can't hear anymore, and don't know the name of.
    9. Anything really. I'm quite happy with everyone's choices.

    DWNB

  42. At 02:55 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Cheryl the Diva wrote:

    Dear Mark Owen

    Please say Hi to Howard for me, and feel free to give him my number ....

    CtD x x x

  43. At 03:14 PM on 28 Mar 2008, j wrote:

    Or Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" in honour of your red cap story.


    Happy Weekend all,
    jen ewan
    xx

  44. At 03:33 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Dissing Dave wrote:

    ARF how about a bit of the legendary Queen - Hammer to Fall. As Freddie famously once said "This is what you wanted, this is what you're gonna get!"

    DD out

    PS Come on you Seagulls

  45. At 03:33 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Debbie wrote:

    Bingo, no worries I could do with a laugh. I haven't read Jilly Cooper but guessing that it was the sweaty palms bit that did it maybe?!

    Debbie x x

  46. At 03:39 PM on 28 Mar 2008, wrote:

    hmm.

    1. Footloose,
    2. ELO - hold on tight
    3. Swingout sister
    4. Delihla - Sensational Alex Havey Band. (PLEASE)
    5. That one which is the Girl who is a welder, dancing her boooty off in a room full of staid people -I can hear it,but I don't know what it is called.
    6. Rubettes. Sugar Baby Love
    7. Sclub - Don't Stop
    8. The travelling Wilbury's one, which I like, ,but can't hear anymore, and don't know the name of.
    9. Anything really. I'm quite happy with everyone's choices.

    DWNB

  47. At 03:43 PM on 28 Mar 2008, The Stig wrote:

    ARF

    Lost and Found by Feeder

    It would give one runner a much needed boost!

  48. At 03:43 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Prof Plum wrote:

    Debbie

    Don't be afraid of handing in your notice. If you change your mind we could ring up and pretend it's a you've been framed video.

    I really hope the Bay city Rollers don't make Arf, the biggest load of rubbish I have ever heard.

    How about ...Leaving on a jet plane or not as it happens...


    Toodle oo pp

  49. At 03:44 PM on 28 Mar 2008, The Stig wrote:

    ARF

    Lost and Found by Feeder

    It would give one runner a much needed boost!

  50. At 03:45 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Dissing Dave wrote:

    ARF how about a bit of the legendary Queen - Hammer to Fall. As Freddie famously once said "This is what you wanted, this is what you're gonna get!"

    DD out

    PS Come on you Seagulls

  51. At 03:49 PM on 28 Mar 2008, j wrote:


    Or Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" in honour of your red cap story.


    Happy Weekend all,
    jen ewan
    xx

  52. At 04:00 PM on 28 Mar 2008, The Stig wrote:

    ARF

    Lost and Found by Feeder

    It would give one runner a much needed boost!

  53. At 04:30 PM on 28 Mar 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    DWNB
    Wilburys Where were you last night? that the one? Love it!!

  54. At 05:01 PM on 28 Mar 2008, mwk wrote:


    Hello All,

    Good luck Debbie xx

    Chris - I always have vivid dreams and always remember them, the one I had last night involved my boss but I really don't want to remember it......gives me the heeby geebies!!!!

    I had to have a day off today, my nephew discovered I had a leak in my petrol tank turned out my tank was split and I needed a new one aarrgghh! A garage quoted me £420......well thanks but no thanks! However a huge thank you to my nephew who helped me find a recondition one, we visited the biggest car scrap dealer i've ever seen, not that I've seen many! This one covered eight acres of land! My nephew is really into cars and he was like a kid in a sweet shop, bless him! So it's only going to cost me £80 including fitting, what a result!

    Bizarre weather in glasgow, four seasons in one day! Nothing new there then lol

    ARF - You've got a friend by James Taylor. I arrived home to a card from a lovley friend thanking me for my friendship - this would be my thank you to them and it also mentions winter, spring, summer and fall.......drove through them all in the space of 4hrs!!

    Thinking of you Keith xx

    DWNB - good luck for your charity walk on Sunday, hope the sun shines for you! xx

    Keith - Thinking of you, sending you love and hugs xx

    Have a good weekend all xx

    Old firm game tomorrow......good job I'm having my grey bits touched up after the footy - think I will gain a few watching it! lol

    Take care
    Mary xx

  55. At 05:05 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Richard Young wrote:

    Hi Chris

    Nothing like dreams of naughtiness but the women always know somehow don't they?

    And I think Clarkson gets away with it because nobody thinks he's serious. "It's only a car programme". I happen to think that he's both very funny and deadly serious the majority of the time.

    Lucky bloke - he can say whatever he wants!

    by the way, any chance of Foreigner and "Cold as Ice" for my lovely (very pregnant) wife Susannah who is 30 today?

    Cheers CLP.

    Richard

  56. At 05:08 PM on 28 Mar 2008, Liz wrote:

    Duran Duran - Hungry like the wolf please

    Liz x

  57. At 05:10 PM on 28 Mar 2008, B's Mum wrote:

    DWNB
    Wilburys Where were you last Night - that the one? Love it!

    Bingo that Flaming Lips song YUK!!!

    ARF Le Freak Chic? not heard for ages!

    Debbie how did it go?

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