Punorama
It's Punorama results time again..
You know the rules - we give you the story and you give us your best pun.
This week's it was about one plucky duck who survived gunshot wounds and a two-day stint in the fridge.
A hunter in Florida shot it, and took it for dead, home to the refrigerator.
When his wife opened the door two days later, the duck lifted its head in a burst of life and she rushed it to the wildlife sanctuary for treatment.
It now has a 75% chance of survival.
How'd you all do? Magnificently.
As usual, there were some very popular entries. Quack from the dead was sent in by Helene Parry, Susan, S Murray, Brian Ritchie, Nick Jones, W Mobberley and Jip Foster. Along the same lines was Rajat with Quack to life.
The charming Cheese and Quackers was suggested by Tom Ralph and Tony Doyle, while Chill Bill was sent in by Anne, Jeff and Steve Jackson. There was also Canard-ly believe it from Savo in Surrey and Peter Forrester.
Honourable mentions go to Dave Smith for The Duck of Hazard, Nigel Macarthur for See you later, (in the) refrigerator, Rod Evan for Hard Duck Story and Tim Francis-Wright for
Webbed Feat .
But our favourites this week were Duck-billed Lazarus from Gareth Jones, Mall-'ard as nails from Giles and "Charged with faking your own death, how do you plead?" "Not guilty, Mullard!" from David Regan. Bravo.
Comments
Duck Cheyned
Cold Duck whine.
Crack shot's quack shock
Well hard mallard
Fine cut marred mallard
Fowl shot!
Duck Chaney II
Duck a la Orange (County)
Down but not out.
Flight of Fantasy
Duck and grouse
Plucking Lucky
Duck's Hope
Duck and (re)cover
Duck a le range
Mallardy (Mallard malady)
mallardy remedy
or
remedy for a mallardy
Wade to go
Ungentlemanly conduck
Bring me the head of a Florida goose
Ducky blasted
Canard Shot
Do you mind a struggle, Duck.
duck cheney II
Ruddy lucky Duck
The Fright of the Hunter
Many are culled but few are frozen..
Safe-quacker
Up at the quack of dawn
Mall'ard
Get the lead out!
Get down!
Freezer's jolly good limbo
That rifled his feathers
Duck and cover.
Keeping a cool head helped duck the situation
Dabble indemnity
Down but not out.
Duckter Livingstunned, I presume...
; )
Keeping down helped cool headed duck fly to freedom
It's a peeking duck
Quack-erjack
Deflib-gerator
Stunned shivering shot duck shoots out past shooters wife to sanctuary
Foie Grasputin
Mighty Duck
Duck under done
What a plucky ducker!!
The Eider Sanction
Wings and knockabouts
'Quack, Quick!'
Peeking Duck
"Clean bill of health"
No quackers for supper
Nervous drake down leads to quack-up.
Locked, Stocked and Two Smokin Barrels .
Eider Down, Not Out
Duck gives hunter a cool reception.
Eider down
Eider Dead or Alive?
Quacker back
None for the pot
Duck and recover!
Cold-try
Duck duck deuce
Orville's new song - 'I wish I could fry'
I should be so ducky
Orville's new song - 'I wish I could fry'
Quack's Up Duck?
Cold Duck is best served chilled.
I'll be quack
I'll be quack
A hunting, well hello
One fresh mallard, wife hears pate of tiny feet.
I'd a duck down.
Duck a l'twinge
Once sittin', twice spry
Nigh bye birdie
What's up duck?
Punorama,
Probably for the gazillionth time but it has to be 'Bird Flew'
Le Mallard in Frigidaire
Fowl shot - freeze away. (I watch too much snooker).
Peeking duck in fridge, woman’s fowl run saves game
Cold and flew
Duck duck loose
Down in the Mouth
There once was a lucky duckling - it's feathers all shot at and torn . .
Mallard malade
A Fridge Too Far.
Daffy Luck
Downy, but not out.
Sigh of the Hunter
Wade a minute!
A foul canard
Foil it duck
Freeze a jolly good fellow
Le Mallard Non-Imaginaire
She's still in the beak of condition.
Drake that!
That was the beak that was.
Going well for feathers!
Our tethered friends
Duck a la strange!
Wing something simple.
CanHard One
Duck and Re-Cover
Out of the frying pan and not to expire.
clean bill of health
Quack Quack survives Ack Ack
foul play
clean bill of health
Crisp n'drake
it's no yolk, ducky
tis but a fowl wound!
quack shot
It's OK, Elmer, we don't need that orange any more.
Medical Bill
Donald Ducked.
Op-pressed Duck
Ducked out
Duck filled Sarnibox
The mallard 'e lingers on
duck and recover
Faulty Duck Surprise
Tweets, shoots and freeze.
I'm a Muscovy, get me out of here.
"You must be quackers! Eider rather thought you would pick up the bill for this one"
Luck, duck and both barrels
luck-a-duck-icicle
From a snack... to the Quack !!
Like a duck to slaughter.
Heartbreak Fridge
Following the incident vets gave the duck a clean bill of health
Seen on the web.
Cool customer or freshest food?
Game for a laugh
A Bird in the fridge is worth two in the bush.
The Mighty Ducks Rise Again!
Life of Bird
Quack doctor needed
"Lord love a duck"
"Kill Bill, Part IV"
"Down, but not out."
After Mallard
Its driventhe poor bird quackers!
Half a Mallard
Cool and Unusual.
And when she shouted "duck" I said where?
Duck and Recover
Shelf life
Not suitable for home freezing.
Bangers and stash
Struck duck truce
Down of the Dead
Yikes! A duck that's been hit over the lead
On a wing and a scare
Duck rushed to quack
Peeking duck
Peeking duck found in hunter's fridge - two days after being shot.
How about this one:
Mal-Hard!
It's a trance this drake
Code blue - a duck
Eider he's dead or he's not
duck a la strange
Duck liver
You think this is bad wait till you see the bill
I am the resurr-egg-tion
Poultry in motion
I'm off to the quack
No harm, no fowl
One flew over the chicken breast
Maladroit hunter
Duck foiled paté lust
Desert Eagle 0.75
Duck down but not out.
" Duck's off...sorry !!"
" The Duck is a Con....Fit and well !"
" He's Eider dead.......or alive !"
" Duckin and Survivin' !"
" It's not looking good for Duck down on its luck "
Freezer jolly good fowl-ow!
Peppered duck goes cold turkey
Bombed Dazed Duck, to Rise
Plucky duck.
Eider downed
"I am afraid that the 'Duck Lazarus' is off tonight sir"
I'll be quack
The quack and the dead
Eider down but not out
Duck chilled flapped at us!
Duck and Re-cover
Quacks optimistic but fowl play suspected after Donald emerges from cold turkey
Risen from the gravy.
Duck and re-cover
Hell for feathers
Eiderdown but not out
Struck duck in luck, chilled but not killed and grilled.
Glazed roosted duck
Shelf life after death.
Shocked housewife faces rising bill
From the sublime to the 'reduckulous'
Liver Bird
Duck spins an intricate webbed of de-feet.
Quack to the Suture
Bill of life
Duck!
Birrrrr-d
Illius me paenitet, ducks.
Phew Canard!
Quackers and freeze
Freeze and quackers
Fridge full of Quackers
Duck and Re-Cover
duck and (re)cover