大象传媒

Not another seal photo! Who nicked his sunnies?

Well, I just can't see what attracted Heidi Klum to him

Going anywhere nice on your holiday?

Now we're not going to hurt one another are we?

鈥淕oing anywhere nice on your holiday?鈥�

鈥淕苍苍驳丑苍苍谤谤谤..鈥�

No Mr Bond, I expect you to die..

I asked you to clean the pinnipeds, not the toothypegs

You mean you're really a member of the Special Operations Forces of the American Navy?

Actually, I have written a book - I'm an author-dentist

Hey, I only asked for a seal and polish

It was the sardines and mustard wasn't it?

I want to look my best, tonight it's an 'all you can eat seafood buffet' at Rick Stein's.

Well, the last thing we heard him repeatedly mumbling was 鈥淒o not bite the hand that feeds you鈥�..

Look, I am NOT the walrus!

Is that a club in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

There's something behind the third molar, could be a fish bone, now I wonder where that came from?

鈥淗ello, is that you darling, have you seen my toothbrush?鈥�

I like the peppermint flavour better

I hear you need really white teeth to get into Sea World

You don't have this in a herring flavour do you?

Halit-sofus might have been a more appropriate name

I see someone has not been flossing properly.

Phew! If you can hold your breath for so long under water, why can't you do it now?

Well your breath would stink if all you had to eat were pilchards

The reason behind Monitor's delays this week: a Seaworld internship. Care for some fish?

Sealed with a kiss? No thanks!

Yep, Mrs Glossop鈥檚 pet carp is in there all right, lets see if we can dig it out..

Up and down, up and down, side, side, side, side, side
In and out, in and out, and side, side, side, side, side
Right, now you try it on your own.

Phocanella! No wonder it's extinct.

Sammy insisted on beauty treatments every time Frankie Boyle was due to appear on TV.

SWALK

Who are you calling common? It's "harbour seal," thank you very much.

"Making me think it's a burger only to get my teeth brushed! That's cold."

My fate is sealed

Yes, I've thought about bleaching, but it's bad for the coral

"Is it safe?"

One must look one's best for Shamu's visit.

Er, actually, I'm not sure you can eat me and still be a vegetarian.

He's never been the same since David Attenborough did that 3 minutes to camera next to him.

Can I have gold one in its place?

New novelty glove range proves less popular than anticipated...

Sofus so wanted to look his best, he was going out clubbing tonight...

Seal with a loving kiss.

What do you mean, you're putting me on a non-fish diet?

But I can't say aaahh

Betty's life took an interesting turn after she won an online auction for denture seal.

Did you wash your hands first? They taste so much better when they're clean

My teeth feel fresh and clean - that gets my seal of approval

I feel like she's brushed me aside lately

The tooth! You can't handle the tooth!

You need my family? Is that what you mean by seal's kin?

I'm definitely against clubbing - I prefer sealing-wax to whacking seals.

My bite is definitely worse than my bark

For fish breath confidence

Seal's new version of Max Bygraves' classic "I'm A Pink Toothbrush"

I can see it's a pink toothbrush. Have we met somewhere before?

Latest animal rights scandal dubbed "Colgate"

And just how am I supposed to floss with these flippers?!

Wow, these cleaner fish are getting really sophisticated!

The adman's dream - if Maclean's can give HIM fresh breath confidence ...

Tynemouth? I thought this was Bristle Zoo

When do I get to meet the Orbitz gal?

Why do they call you a hygienist if you're only five feet tall?

Aquafresh - my favourite!

How was I supposed to know it was Jacques Cousteau? It's pretty dark down there, I just thought it was a rather large mackerel.

I want a toothpaste that reminds me of the waves ... Crest will do

"Yes, I do like fish, but how did you know?"

"Well, if you don't want it to stink, try chucking me some flowers instead"

"...and if you need me to stop at anytime just clap your flippers or balance a ball on your nose..."

Hey! I bet that singer guy, with my name, dosn't get this treatment!!

Not a pink toothbrush, dont they know I'm a boy!!

Surely he'd get past the doorman at the aquarium this time.

Everyone thought it crazy that Simon Cowell and David Attenborough should plan a joint venture, but not old Salty

Just teeth for two and two for teeth

Eh-up Mr Herriott, if you're going to cure his piles with that you'll need a longer handle.

May I clap when we're finished?

Nurse, turn on the sealing fan

You've got to look your best if you're going to advertise Sealy Beds

No, it's S-E-A-L-I-O-N - I don't press people's clothes for them

Scale and polish? I've eaten so many fish, just polish the scales.

Doc, I gotta know. Will I be able to play the trumpet when you're finished?

What do you mean, root canal problems? I can swim anywhere.

I'd like it filled with anchovies

My mouth is fill of fish-scales? That must be because of the piano tuna.

No, no anaesthetic! I want to transcend dental medication.

No thanks, I think the 'tache will be fine as it is, but maybe the old eyebrows could do with a trim.

Yeah, I love pinball machines - you should see me on the flippers

And I've got my own toilet now - I'm a privy seal

And it was then that we realised our destiny was already determined : our seal was feted

Braces?! I suppose you'll be asking about my stockings next!

SEAL: I'n a 'oy. Can I have a 'lue 'rush, not a 'ink 'rush."

Smile though your tooth is aching...

We call this one 'Kiss from a Rose' flavour, and you're a seal, see? It's clever. You're going to be in the advert, it hits the stores on Monday.

New high grade dental seal found to be impractical

A downbeat re-interpretation of the Herriot books - 'All Creatures Grunt and Smell'.

Are you on the pull or just brushing by?

Of course I need a filling - haven't you ever heard of a cavity seal?

Ah gotsh shome kippersh shtuck in mah teefs. Can you getsh dem out, pleash?

Blue brush for the buoys, pink for the gulls.

The NHS is wonderful - I get free dental work AND a herring aid