´óÏó´«Ã½

you might want to have a look at this. thought it was quite amusing.... you'll see why.....

this is hilariously stupid that poor girl

a very stupid burglar fell asleep in the victims house

Can't wait for this it's going to be great :-) Russell is hilarious and love the "good news" theme everyone needs a bit of cheering up at the minute!

Go Russell! Good luck for the first show - so excited x

hello i cant wait for the first show here is a funny clip
[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

can't wait to see the show! :)

saw a very funny news story the other day about a a football manager asking the players to kiss eachother to form a 'bond'... yes, very wierd...

This is really Funny you should take a look at it ...
A geek proposes to his girlfriend through supermario!!! god knows how he got his girl friend Haha.



lease give some credit to Liam Simpson he found it :P

Solution found to fattest man problem


The world's fattest man, UK resident Bob Large, is to be pumped full of helium and set adrift into the Earth's stratosphere. "It will save the NHS millions" said a Government spokesperson. Golly gosh.

Solution found to fattest man problem story- jenny, bristol

where can i send in pictures

thanks russ for mentioning where i live in your westcountry sketch :):):) jenny

what do you like to do in your spare time?

jen x

whats the worst thing you have done while drunk?

who and what is your inspiration?

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

I'm planning every detail of my 5 kids' lives..in 6 months they'll be orphans
BRAVE JUSTINE'S MEMORY BOX, 'ADVICE' MANUAL, EVEN 1ST CAR



Like many busy single mums, Justine Hargreaves is already up to her ears in gifts and wrapping paper preparing a fantastic Christmas for her five children.

She has carefully chosen the perfect presents for Jade, 16, Sam, nine, Nathaniel, eight, and five-year-old twins Coral and Crystal.

But she's also buying gifts for birthdays and Christmases to come - because she won't be there to see them
Christine, 37, has cervical cancer and has been told she has less than six months to live. And in a heartbreaking twist, her death will leave her children orphans - after their dad Stuart committed suicide three years ago.


But in an amazing display of courage, Justine is devoting her final weeks to securing the youngsters' futures and making sure they feel her love for ever.


She has written a "mummy manual" packed with helpful advice to see them into adulthood and has filled "memory boxes" with treasured family mementoes for each of them.


She is also raising money with fancydress sponsored walks and donations - £15,000 so far - to give them a good start in life and buy them their first cars.


And she's arranged for the kids to be brought up by her sister Jannine and best pal Victoria Tierney once she is gone.


Justine said: "When Stuart died I promised them I'd never leave them - yet that's exactly what I'm doing.


"It breaks my heart, so I have to make the most of the time we have left.


"I've told the children the truth - they know I'm dying. But they also know I can still be their mummy in heaven.


"I'm focusing on making their futures great, leaving them memories to stay with them for ever and planning presents for their big birthdays.


"I've been creating memory boxes with items that hold memories we share.


"For example, I've put shark's teeth in the boys' boxes to remind them of a visit to Blackpool aquarium and postcards from the pleasure beach for the girls - we had a scream on the funfair there.


"I'm also writing letters to help and guide them through the challenges they have ahead.


"I want to tell them it's OK to make mistakes but make sure you learn and move on from them. I want them to give each other cuddles when they feel sad and be proud of themselves, individually and as a family."


Justine's tragic story will bring tears to the eyes of every parent in Britain.


But her heroic determination to help her kids face losing their mum is nothing less than inspirational.


Hellish


The nightmare began in August 2006 when Justine's hubby Stuart, 36, hanged himself in a fit of depression after his cabinet-making business collapsed.


Horrified Justine had found his body in their bedroom.


Soon after, the family lost their home in Accrington, Lancs, because Stuart had left them with massive debts.


Justine said: "Our lives went from perfect to hellish in just a few months but I had to be strong - I had five devastated children to think of.


"I promised I would never leave them and gradually we rebuilt our lives and they began to smile again."


But a year later a smear test revealed Justine had cancer of the cervix.


She said: "I know it's irrational but I blamed Stuart - I had missed some smear tests because I was so busy looking after him when he was depressed and then had to look after the kids once he'd died."


She began chemotherapy in August 2007 and was told the outlook was good.


But in May this year a scan showed the cancer had spread to her bones - and was incurable.


Justine said: "It was like being smacked with a hammer.


"I'd coped with losing Stuart, losing our lovely home and paying his debts and I was coping fine with five children.


"But now I was faced with something I couldn't beat - I was dying."


Justine had to face the unbearable pain of breaking the news to her children.


She said: "Nathaniel and Sam were very angry and Jade sobbed and sobbed.


"The twins were too young really to take it in but Crystal asked, 'Will we have a new mummy? Will you be going off to heaven today?'" Now Justine's planning her funeral. She is choosing the songs for the service and she's asked best friend Victoria, 37, to pick the clothes she'll wear in the coffin - joking she doesn't want her mum to do it. Justine said: "It's important my nails and make-up look beautiful because I need to look normal for the kids.


"I can't have them scared and I want them to believe, when the day comes, I will be an angel resting in heaven."


She went on: "One of the most important things is I fear the children will forget their mummy and daddy.


"I want them to know we are still there in spirit, spurring them on, watching them and are so proud of them.


"They all have special roles - Nathaniel is our clown, Coral is the protector of Crystal, Crystal is the peacekeeper, Sam is the sensitive one and Jade is our intellectual. I want that to carry on.


"We started a ritual when Stuart died of celebrating his birthday at his grave. We'd take a balloon and yellow flowers and sing Happy Birthday to him.


"I have said it's important once I am gone this continues.


Celebration


"Every Christmas I buy them pyjamas, slippers and dressing gowns and I'd like that to carry on too.


"We have a tea party on each birthday and I want this to go on as if I was there.


"I'd also like my own birthday to be a celebration - and I want a cake!" Justine added: "I don't want them to be angry I had to leave them and never got to do all that I wanted with them.


"Stuart always said we'd buy them their first car so we're trying to put £10,000 in each of their accounts for that purpose."


Victoria is leading the fund-raising efforts through the www.helpjustine.com website. It has so far raised £15,000 to be placed in a trust fund for the children.


And it leaves Justine free to concentrate on her kids in her final precious days.


She said: "At bedtime, I kiss them good night and tell them how much I love them.


"I want my voice to be the last thing they hear at night long, long after I'm gone."

so sad, but inspring

jen, bristol

Yew’ve been framed


A THIEF is caught in an act of shrubbery - as he steals a YEW TREE.
The man was snapped running from a garden in a town hit by a dozen cases of stolen trees in three months.

Police - who have failed to twig who he is - last night released the CCTV picture, hoping it will help them root out the middle-aged tea-leaf.

He was caught on camera at the end of October as five yews were either stolen, or dug up and abandoned in Milton Keynes, Bucks.

All the stolen trees have been yews. A police spokesman said: "We have no idea why he's doing it.

"We're not sure if he's just being a nuisance or if there's another reason. But we know everyone would like it to stop."

[img]/img]

what do you think of your fans? and please can i have a shout out?

jen x

Farmer kept tiny ducklings in the sink to protect them from cold"



[img]/img]

what is your favourite desert?

where is your favourite place to wake up?

boxers or breifs?

[img][/img]


hope you like it

jen x

[img] [/img]

ok sorry, here is the correct link.

hope u like it :):)


[img]/img]

gordan brown-kung foo fighter.


[img]/img]

please can you pass this onto russell.

hi russ, do you remember me, met you at bristol hippodrome for your dvd, you said you wanted to be a turtle, i gave you the chocolates :) just wanted to say it was really nice meeting you, it really made me happy and it made my day, its a moment i will never forget, and also to be on the dvd is fantastic, its a great momento to a really special day. i always wanted to meet you and was so really happy i got the chance, a dream come true, thank you :):)you were so friendly and easy to talk to.

im still amazed. hope you enjoyed the chocs. saw you munching on a choc on the dvd and you were saying you were horny, hehehe.

much love, and thank you again for making my day that extra special :)

jenny, bristol.

The Jesus Christ Sponge


[img]/img]

please look at this one!! funny haha

jen x

Bin Laden



[img]/img]


please please please look at this it make you smile :):)

jen x

gaddafi on conan obrien


[img]/img]

i laughed !!

jen x

X Factor: Dorset cows 'increase production after listening to Jedward'


Dairy cows in Dorset have increased have increased their milk production by 15 percent after they were played clips of X-Factor stars John and Edward Grimes.

Farmers Jozef Andrezejk and Tomas Piotr, from Beaminster, swapped classical music - thought to increase milk yields by keeping cattle calm - for the less sweet sounds of the 18-year-old Irish twins, dubbed Jedward.

"We always have music playing in the yard and you can hear it in all the feeding areas, barns and milking parlour," said Mr Andrezejk.

We were told that classical music is likely to produce a higher milk yield but we never noticed much difference."

"But as soon as we played the cows a clip of Jedward singing We Will Rock You they really seemed to enjoy it and milk yields have noticeably improved."

Mike Pullin a local cheese maker who uses Jozef and Tomas milk, said: "I would have thought that the sound of the twins singing would have made the milk curdle.

"But as far as we can tell the supply has been as good as it has ever been."

The controversial Irish duo were voted out of X-Factor last week, but are being tipped for a lucrative show business career after being inundated with offers from film, television and music companies.

The twins lost in a sing-off to crowd favourite Olly Murs after performing an out of tune version of Boyzone's No Matter What.

Dannii Minogue cast the deciding vote, throwing the pair off the show after six weeks.

Their exit was watched by more than 13.8 million people.


www.telegraph.co.uk


jen x

Jesus in the UK

JESUS may have come to Britain - and paid a visit to Glastonbury, a new film documentary claims.
Researcher Dr Gordon Strachan said it was possible the Lord walked our shores to further his understanding of spirituality, as Britain was the seat of learning in his time.

He examines theories Jesus built a chapel near the site of Britain's biggest rock festival while in the West Country with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea.

The medieval Glastonbury Abbey is thought to be on top of it.

The film, to be launched tomorrow at London's British Film Institute, follows the legend reflected in the words of the hymn Jerusalem.

It starts: "And did those feet in ancient time walk upon England's mountains green."






Ted Harrison, producer of the film, And Did Those Feet, said: "If someone wanted to learn about the spirituality of the classical and Greek world, he'd have to come to Britain.


But there is nothing specific by way of archaeological finds. Jesus's shoe has not turned up."


www.thesun.co.uk

Just another day at the office.