´óÏó´«Ã½

Russell may want to check out this website, a compilation of hilariously stupid lyrics from rap songs:

Can't be bothered to wait for the "your stories" section as I'm 110% likely to forget, but:-


Knock yourselves out! =P Just not literally...

Hi Russ have you ever been mistaken for another celebrity and if so did you own up or go along with it? Have a great weekend x

Hi Russell

Me and my friend are having a debate and Im running the Roflparty. Would you mind helping me kick her a$$ and say something about roflparty

>:)

it would really help ;) and by the way its not official :D

Heyy Russ what is the wierdest thing anyone has ever given you at a gig? have a fantastic weekend! xxx

Evening!

Just for clarification purposes babyblonde is a she!! :-)

Hi Russ! Did you hear the news story about they guy who wanted to sail around the UK? He bought an unsuitable boat off of the Internet and set off with only a road map and a radio he didn't know how to use. He had to be rescued after runnning out of fuel circling the Isle Of Sheppey.

Rescuer Tom Ware said: 'Because he had no chart, his general principle was to keep the land on his right, except he didn't realise Sheppey was an Island.

'It took him a day-and-a-half to get from Gillingham to where he ran out of fuel.'

And the best part? After being told that he couldn't get to where he wanted to go (Southampton) with that boat and no chart, he still wanted to carry on!

x

Was it just me, or did the football maniquin on the left have his finger up?

Heya hows you? what is your fav thing to have in a sandwich??





ps. how funny is the bounty hunter??


*sam*

hey russell!!!!! :D

whats the most embarassing thing thats ever happened to you as a kid or now?

whats the craziest thing a fan has ever done?

you're the best x :D

Something for your next show??

Hey Russell(le pimp) Howard! This is one of the craziest videos I've ever seen, well, it's the guy that's crazy, you need to use it in your next show!!! It's a clip entiltled simply: "Crazy Shower Guy". Enjoy good sir...

Hi!

Question for Russell.

If you could live your life over again would you do it the exact same or would you choose to change what happened? If you did change do you think you would stil be a (brilliant) comedian?

xx cat xx

Hey Russell! I think my last comment may have been removed, but I don't know what I said that was wrong and I apologise if I did say something wrong, but if it comes back up then sorry if this is a waste of message.
Anyway, you need to put this video in your next show, it's quite simple amazing...

HIYAAA!
question for Russell (:

what is the funniest or favourite dream you've ever had?
xo

Sky news, Gordon Brown stepped right in it:





love the show
xo

Something for next week's show maybe?
I'm currently watching the Prime Ministerial Debate and I'm only 20 minutes in and I've noticed that Gordon Brown seems to be shaking his head. a lot. I'm finding it very amusing.
Last night's programme was my favourite so far :)

hi russell, look at this!




i just wondered what you thought of it! :)

Hey Russel :)
At school I always have such a laugh with all my mates and hilairious things seems to happen everyday. Whats the funniest moments you had a school, with either mates or teachers ?
also what were the funniest and weirdest rumours that went around?

thanks,
³§³¦²¹°ù±ô±ð³Ù³ÙÓË¥

russell i wont to no if you r gay but u do not have to tell me my email address is [Personal details removed by Moderator] but that is ok if your not but you r well fit theres fit then theres fiter then theres u.and one more thing you r so funny and have a gd weekend

yo russell check out this story, got me laughing



And it better be on ur show OR ELSE ! lol

i just got called racist because i used the word immigrant hows that work???

Sup bluds,

Have you seen this?


gosh. what a palaver.

With love,

Mosh
xxxx

Russel, if you where a Ribena Blackcurrent where would you go and what would you do? (Yes I twitted this-but I think it got posted in the wrong section)

Hi Russell

Something for your next show...perhaps?

I don't own a car myself, but even I know that this is
some INSANE parking!!!!!!

Hey Russel,

Have a few articles for you =D

Russell you're soooooo god damn awesome!
I would love some advertising or something, noone wants to visit my site whatsoever :(

its www.grimtech.co.uk

If you Russell could put up my link in the credits i would love you forever, you have made me laugh soo hard

Russell, have you ever snogged a man? :D

Hey Russell, if you could make one law for the UK, what would it be?

Chef dies with eel up bum.. yes an eel



You can't make it up

This is brilliant.

~ What about this story? O.o

When will the series end?
will there be another series, and if so when will it start xx (:

Egg's. O.o

Hey russell, i have a couple of questions,

What experiences have made you who you are today?

and, If you could change something in the past, what would you change?

Best show on telly
Emz xx

Hi, i have found a story about a man who is offering children as young as ten pole dancing lessons here's the link

MGM are deeply regretting purchasing the "Pirates" franchise, now that their future seems so uncertain. However, the creative development team has found the perfect solution to the budget cuts...



Can't afford the real Depp? No-one will know the difference... teehee!

Love Emily xx

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Found this for you, /blogs/russellhoward/2010/04/russell-answering-your-blog-qu.shtml

Players in an American Gay softball legue are kicked out...for not being "Gay enough". Then sue. Possibly worth a giggle.

shitbrix.com and funnyjunk.com are great websites for stupid pictures and helpful material about politics given to me by my mom.

Also can i ask, if you had to go up too someone dressed as an old person and act like an old dear who tells kids off for baggy pants and peircings, who would it be and why?

also, this is gordon brown 'breaking' apparently.

cavemen vs astronauts, weapons to be determined, who would win? Emily x

small story about a girl at my local uni

hi something for next weeks show maybe? watched the recent bnp party political broadcast and towards the end nick griffin said gorden browns name there was a definite wrist movement!!! check it out.

A National Express West Midlands bus driver was suspended after being videoed by a passenger to be reading at the wheel, using his elbows to steer, driving along a dual carriageway in Birmingham.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?

love the show :)
Jo xx

this isn't a question but im like love you your so tidy ;)xx

if you could change lives with one of your mistory guests who would it be? xxx

Have u heard about Jedward's new 'post x factor jobs' as an endorsement for a mexican-irish food chain??? If u go in2 youtube and find it, the advert is beyond cheesy!!!! Also, have u heard about the worry about fat americans being 'a security threat?!?!!'

Hi Russell enjoyed the show this evening.
Just a small point from your story on the house fire - the man in the gorilla suite - if I caught it correctly was named BURNS? to add insult to injury.
Cheers Alan

I love how the show ends with inspirational heart-warming stories. I came across this tidbit whilst surfing the news. I think this story is definitely worthy of your "It's not all doom and gloom" segment.



I hope this warms your heart.

For the next elections they should forget the debates and demand stand up routines instead. And you should be the compère!

this is very bazaar!

Don't think we didn't notice your sneaky swearing mannequin last week in the show russ!!

20. At 11:56pm on 30 Apr 2010, leon wrote:
russell i wont to no if you r gay but u do not have to tell me my email address is [Personal details removed by Moderator] but that is ok if your not but you r well fit theres fit then theres fiter then theres u.and one more thing you r so funny and have a gd weekend

He's straight..
lol at you :)

I saw that swearing mannequin too :) Made me smile :)

Hey, Russell. I saw this article and thought it might be good for the "It's Not All Doom and Gloom." When I read it, I almost cried. Sorry it doesn't have a video, I tried looking for one but I couldn't find one.

This is just the most adorable thing I've ever seen



Love the show!

Hi Russell this is sort of weird...




btw..love the show.x

here's a story about poll dancing for 10 year olds, full story-

question for russell- do you watch your show when your at home, or do you find it weird watching yourself?
episode six was so funny.. belly laughing the whole way though!
xxxxx

Hi Russell - how about this one



Stag party in a lift crash 100ft to the base of a cliff but it worked out Ok as one reported 'We were lucky no-one was seriously hurt or killed and five of us managed to get to the pub as planned.' Yep, have fun in hospital guys, we're off down the boozer!

man bleeds green blood!!

Russ

If you could give Stephen Hawkins a pimp my ride style modification what would it be and why??

Looking forward to the next series!

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Hey Russ, check out Antiques roadshow episode 29 (may 2nd) find it here: /iplayer/episode/b00sbvg7/Antiques_Roadshow_Series_32_Greenwich_2/ and go to 39 minutes in - look who's in the background again!!!! The guy that liked to interrupt news programmes!!! Lol!!!

Hello Russell,
How do i send in stories for the show cos I don't get it. Do i post them here, do I email them? You get the picture.

Congrats on the show, at the moment you're my favourite comedian

Oh wait I get it now.

Hi Russ,
When I watched the third election debate, I was distracted by the title sequence music. It's so blo*dy dramatic. For a minute I thought they were gonna fight with swords or something (although that would be pretty funny). You've probably already watched it but here's the link if you missed it.

/iplayer/episode/b00s6lft/b00s6lf7/The_Prime_Ministerial_Debates_29_04_2010/

So, you know, just maybe something to put in the politics section

The sue that Brown refers to when he calls Gillian Duffy a 'bigoted woman'

russs man love the show watch it evry thursday and xtra ib saturday so :) ive been writting jokes and i think im gettin pretty good so heres 1 for u to try out , well many people say that google is taking over the web and evryone is using it and there trying to stop it and they make new searchs and most of them are powerd by google so it makes no difference lol :) milk the joke , milk it like a cow :) . some people take you are what u eat to far e.g the adverts where ud be a runner bean and then u shud do one of those clips with ur pretend dad as you as a little kidd and u saying dad if i eat a donkeys c0k then what does that make me :) milk the jokes man

Love the show, and when I saw this on another website I thought it might be worth mentioning:



A proper feel good news story :)

Might not make it in, but some random stoys:







thanx emz xx

Hiya this isn't a story but some awesome photos of things that people have painted in the street



*Sam*

How creepy is this???

Weird just don't describe some of this: You got Lady Gaga Soldiers, Sexy Woman are bad for your health, Alastair Campbell Stars in BUCKS FIZZ reamke for Election and Mills & Boon to publish racy novels about National Trust Houses:

Enjoy Russell!









Can't wait for the show,

Anthony

And a truly fantastic feel Good-New story:

Blind boy learns how to 'see' using dolphin technique

I wanted to know what the song that came up during the monkey drumming "its not all doom and gloom" clip....I really want to know.

Before the Gloucester paper-boy story. S02EP6

Thanks!

Hey,

So instead of revising for our upcoming GCSE's, we were procrastinating today by watching old episodes of Mock The Week and on one 'Scenes We'd Like To See' the question was raised, what colour would a smirf go if you choked it? Well, do you have an answer for this because history revision is out the window until we can find an answer for this truly puzzling question.

Thanks,

Betty and Lottie. x

Hi Russell, got a question for you: Are you a sports fan? If so, which teams do you support?

Going to see your show in Newcastle can't wait, it'll be my birthday as well :)

Hi Russell,
I came to see the filming of Good News on the 20th of April and wanted to ask you this but I chickened out and asked for a high five instead!

If when you slap your face with your hand it's called a 'facepalm' why is a clap not called a 'palmpalm'?

Thanks!
Maddy

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Good news from the UK

Granny runs 27 marathons, and in the process raising money for Ty Hafan children's hospice in Cardiff and Helen & Douglas House in Oxford.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Another interesting story from the telegraph.

Ironic? Should've let him steal it and forced him to pay for a spiderman book.

Hello. Coming to see the show on tuesday (tomorrow!),all the way from Brizzle =], even though i've torn a muscle and i'm on crutches! (thankfully i'm not walking!) Was just looking on ebay for some tickets for your tour, and stumbled across this.... Now i am a fan, but i think could be classed as creepy....



Can't wait for tomorrow.
Candy
x

Something to restore your faith in human kindness



Who wouldn't want to be a superhero for a day and who deserves it more than this kid

Hey ! great show
one thing to ask..

just marry me ?
please ?

:D

Hi Russ, Love the show from down here in Cornwall! Here's a few random stories you may find interesting:







Hope you had a good bank holiday weekend and loving the the jokes about your shoe loving dog! P.S Do you still want to marry your cat? :D (Just watched your DVD again!). Cheers, Michelle x

Something for your next show (which has probably been sent to you before)

German man 'marries' his dying cat


Love the show x)

If this doesn't show the rest of the UK that Welsh Nana's will go the extra mile, i don't know what will meet the worlds oldest drugs mule..



Notice it was 'Up Her Skirt'. Pockets on the inside? I think not! Cheers Nan!

Also this couldn't do anything but make me smile - US Troops in Afghanistan taking the time out to produce a remake of the Lady Gaga Ft. Beyonce video for Telephone. Homophobia? The US Army? No such thing dear boy!

Story / Video -

Original video @ youtube -

It starts off a bit slow but just wait until Beyonce appears. It all kicks right off then!

Hey Russ :)
I was just wondering if you were gonna do a blog for me?
My friend was at your show last week and he asked you if you would do a blog for me and you said yes :)

Lots of love
Xxxxx

Best story I've read all week. Makes me believe that there is hope for humanity after all.

With friends like these who needs enemies...



Nikki

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

hey russel,this is funny,you know Alicia Keys empire state of mind part 2 well torquay have done there our version called torbados



and its from jack horsey :),ill be watchin u on thursday :)

A bizzare story of being bed-bound by something you'd last expect.

2.5 stone of flesh removed. What a load off.

Hey did you hear about a German man who was apparently so devastated when his asthmatic cat, Cecilia, fell terminally ill that he paid someone to officiate a fake marriage so the two could be husband and wife!


The groom, Uwe Mitzscherlich, says:

"Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed."

LOL, I'm addicted to susi too!

This feels like a good new story to me

HERE'S THE BAD NEWS...RUSSELL IS NOT FUNNY.

There's a lot of funny business on TV but Russel has no part in it unless you count the loud, poorly engineered fake laughter used whenever he spews his schoolyard smut. I know he's only 13, and I TOO LOVE SMUT but not when it masks a complete paucity of funny gags and good humour. His other guests get genuine laughter and you can see their faces full of pleasure. But when Russell is on you only see their backs and their faces are hidden...to hide their misery.

Mike Atkinson