大象传媒

No cop jobs for big knobs:

Oops... in the sh*t. Literally.

Hawking warns against contacting advanced species, people compare it to Independence Day...

you might have already seen this image floating around the internet but if not it's a very unfortunate and amusing picture of Cameron

Best election picture so far?
hehehehe :)

hiya, here's some weird news....



*Sam*

Bless him ...

lol at this little girl,,, she 5 and dose tattoos

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Who says that old people are useless!

Hello,
Got a couple of stories here russell:

I saw this story, and it made me chuckle. Who would of thought that making breakfast could be so much hassle..!!


No matter how much you hate animals, this story will just make you go aaaah..!!


xxxxxxxx

I think this is from last year, but no matter, it ties in with your marathon efforts. Well done by the way!

You have to see this video to believe it - Steve Guttenberg running naked in Central Park NY

russell in this video you might of seen i dunno if you noticed but between the times of 3:40 and 3:47 to the word labour this man makes a rude gesture

hey rusell love the show!

ive found a story, i doubt its good enough to be on your show but here it goes :

a millionaire leaves there daughter 90p each in the will lol
if i was one of the daughter id be really pissed off

sorry one more
haha laughed my head off when i read this

funniest labour candidate ever:


he wants to be a racist polygamist haha

and one last one

just have a look

Hi russ

love the show!! cant wait till thursday! How was the marathon?

I found this thought it was quite funny. The 'Geeser Bandit' strikes again -

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7622076/Elderly-Geezer-bandit-bank-robber-strikes-again.html

and this guy got a cramp -

www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/7620484/Driver-escapes-jail-despite-driving-down-busy-motorway-with-leg-hanging-out.html

have you ever had a cramp on tv? (its on youtube VERY funny)xx

there's a facebook group voting Russell Howard for Prime minister you know..

Surgeon cut off testicle 'by mistake' at Bury hospital


That's one mistake that sorry just won't cut it me thinks.

Sorry cant get those links to work but you should check them out especially the 'Geezer Bandit' one. Its on the telegraph website 23rd of april.

Question for Russ?? What is the wierdest dare you have ever accepted??

thanx cha x

hey, i've got two things here. i've already posted one of them but i didn't know where to post it.

1. asda now sell election cupcakes - red for labour, blue for conservatives, yellow for lib dems and green for the green party. i wonder what colour the BNP cakes would be.... :P
2. this is just funny.

hope this helps! :)

I find this completely epic Russ, take a look:

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sorry, just another thing with a perverted presenter. :)

i laughed so much when i saw this man

Nice bit of news

Poor Joseph...

Hey,
Found this...thought you guys might like it...
Celebrities write-fight at Tory's 大象传媒 plans:

Cheers
Kathryn Foy x x x

Was sat in the pub earlier this evening, watching Sky News, and at about 19:53 I looked at the screen and just saw an image of the newsreader with the caption "hung" beneath him... As there was no sound on the TV, I found it quite funny...
Well done on the marathon yesterday too :) xx

I was watching 大象传媒3 one minute news saturday, 24/04/10, news reader said Man Stiffy. Genius.

Please, please, please feature Dr. Eurfyl ap Gwilym demolishing Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight last night!

BNP party political broadcast 26/4/10 Nick Griffin makes rude hand gesture 3m 39s when saying the word "labour" Anyone else notice it?

Russell Howard to be PM:



I'd vote! P.S. Russell should wear his glasses all the time ;)

Not sure how many/if these have been said.

Hugh Hefner saves Hollywood (the sign anyways)


Researchers at the University of Edinburgh have been analysing celebrity Twitter messages in a bid to find out how happy the senders are.


Son bigger than smallest mum


Student faces 拢60 fine every time he parks in his drive way.

This also made me laugh

Regarding the "Dog injures nose" story...you have realised it's from the column "Bate in the woods".

She was dogging wasn't she!

Could this be the oddests and most inapropriate facebook group ever?

If you "translate" the title, I believe it is called:

'Even though you stabbed my Nan, you are still the one for me'



I'm sure Russel and the crew will appreciate it =D

You'd think the dude would be little more careful as to what he admitted on dating sites. noob!

here's some weird news




*Sam*

"I think there鈥檚 probably no need for it because we鈥檝e already got the Go Ape attractions (at Grizedale and Whinlatter) here.鈥�
鈥淚 want to get our young and exciting people to have an adrenaline-packed weekend here in the Lakes, rather than them flying out to places like New Zealand,鈥� said Mr Weir.
Denial anyone?

Hi Russell,

We're all a bit fed up with the Election stuff right? Fed up of being told how the polls are looking? This should cheer you up - to tell you the truth about the up-coming election we've rediscovered the ancient and venerable art of Tad Polling.

...after much detailed research...we're proud to announce TAD POLL - the world's first and only, genuinely independent, opinion poll of truly floating voters....

Check out our website to read more and see the results

Love the show by the way,
Jo

this guy is either stoned or just off his trolley lol

Heres some weird from the people at Forbes

please tell me you've seen the following story...



I draw your attention to her partners height....

Now imagine....

This one made me laugh. An Iranian cleric declared on Friday that women who don't dress modestly cause earthquakes, so an american girl set up a facebook group in order to prove him wrong by attempting a 'boobquake' on Monday 26th April. 100,000 people joined the group with the intention of wearing low cut tops or skimpy shorts in order to disprove the clerics idea.
Unfortunately there was a 6.5 quake off the coast of Tiawan at 10:59am, so maybe the guy had a point ;) (timezone differences and the fact there is pretty much a quake somewhere every day spoils the theory, but still amusing)
Check out the facebook group or the following link:

Question for Russ.

What did you want to be before you got into comedy? And how old were you when you decided to become a comedian?

=)

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The best thing about Good News for us are those vapour funny moments that occur 3 days after the show usually in totally inappropriate surroundings! What's the best thing about Good News for you?

aparently these are some things men think about during sex to make it last longer


one of them was thinking about the terminator films! imagine what the terminator would be like during sex
"come with me if you want to live" :D

Nothing to see here, just a Dalmation riding a bike!

Not really a news story, just a really funny pronunciation that sounds totally different to how it should:

Hey,
I have another small story that you might like to use next week:
McFly Star in Football related injury:

Tom Fletcher from McFly is nursing a sprained ankle after football.
Kathryn Foy x x x
p.s. I also have a question for Russell: Jennifer Aniston, Katherine Hegiel and Jessica Alba-Shag, Marry or Kill?

David Dickinson is getting his own chat show, is there nobody they won't put on a stage and get them to annoy celebrities by asking stupid questions?
Mind you, someone may have had the idea to drag some antiques out of retirement and see what happens to them when they're no longer hounded by the papers, then I could understand the choice of host.

Real classy stuff:
(1)
(2)
(3)

Hello, this is a really heart worming story, and shows just how your mates can make your life worth living. This has a condition that has completely paralysed him, so his friends invented the Eyewriter, because of them he is now able to draw again.

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Not really news but funny as hell

A definite candidate for the Darwin award!

Hi Russell ^o^

Im a big fan and I have a question...

Will you ever go onto Lets Dance for Sports Relief???? It would be so funny! :}

Thank youu ;3

Hey, sure everyone's gonna be posting about this but gotta say it anyway-Gordan Brown caught on tape calling a voter a 'bigoted woman' just because she put him on the spot with some questions we would probably all like to ask him!
What's especially tv gold is when she is bein questioned about his comments on LIVE tv and stops talkin to answer her mobile!
Check out the footage on the 大象传媒 website's newspage.

Hi russ, i was watching anglia news and i couldnt stop laughing about this swan who has been named mr asbo, obv he has been a very bad swan, some woman claimed she had calmed the swan down telepathically

heres the video

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A recent report suggests a rise in sales of Champagne is a sign of optimism in the economy.


Optimism ?
More like a rise in the bonuses of the greedy overpaid bankers.

Re:the patient who inadvertently had his testicle removed in a Bury hospital. I like to imagine the doctor responsible was whistling 'If I Ruled The World' while preparing him for the deed - a reference to a scene in 'One Foot In The Grave' where Victor goes in for a similar procedure; the person who was due to operate turns out to have escaped from the mental health ward!

'Sumo wrestlers make babies cry at the Naki Sumo crying baby contest in Japan' amazing headline was gutting myself laughing for 10 mins straight Link:

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In the words of Monica Lewinski: "Ooops, I didn't see that one coming!"

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This is a story about a man with a 'crappy' disguise ;) x

i found a funny story the developed an application for the iphone called the asborometer lol heres the full article

Hi Russ- Love the show and congratulations on the marathon!
Thought you might find this funny- its basically about a 72 year old woman who is having a baby with her new boyfriend- he is 26. But it gets weirder. Much, much weirder- take a look!

I saw this story today, thought you all might have a good chuckle at it:

Also, on the goldfish story that was on a few weeks ago. Here is some more on it:

And finally, one that may make you cringe, but you can have a good laugh at the headline aswell:

ha you have to read about this a man that has not had food or watter for 70 years!!!!
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in the special guest feature (S2E6) was the dummy behind the freestyle footballer giving his middle finger to Russell?

This kinda makes you feel ashamed after all the times we take the mickey out of women drivers

Dear Russell

I would just like to inform you that the football manikin in the back ground of your latest show was flipping you off.

Regards

Simon

Its a good news story, this son takes back his dad (i think) and his dad lets out a cry, you need to see way it makes us laugh

love you show, always makes me smile

ilona x

Hi Russell I found this quite funny it is 10 laws that are still in act today. The funny thing is they are so stupid.
1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down.

3. In Liverpool , it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman鈥檚 helmet

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow

I hope you put this in your show. my name is Blake Williams just for the credits.

hi i think facebook listen to your idea russel it is now possible to vote on facbook :)

Russell, don't ask me how I found this but it is nuts!!!

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enjoy.

soldiers in afghanistan remake telephone by lady gaga xD this really made my day



wonder what the taliban would say if they saw this!

Hey Russell,
this is possibly the funniest video i have ever seen on youtube. It is an Australian News Report of dogs attacking various people. This couple is interviewed and the reaction from the elderly man is hysterical. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

the bloke from series one is back on camera!!!

(www.youtube.com ---- london - greenwich)(look it up!)(watched today (sunday 2nd may)

Car crash overshadows the Labour poster launch, the reactions are brilliant.

Russel, did you know that from friday 30th untill monday 3rd was the british unicycle convention? It was the 17th anual convention and was hoasted this year in stockton.I was part of team voodoo unicycle along with 6 others.Here is a video of lasts years display,hope you enjoy.

Russell - West Country and dogging - could you want any more in a 大象传媒 news story? Yes, because local Mr Parkinson describes it all as "stranger sex". Genius.



Cheers

This just speaks for itself! Made me giggle hope you guys like it too :)

villagers tear down a funny sign